Twisted Christmas The XMen Way
by Disturbed Courtney Lilith K
Summary: It's Christmas time at the Xavier Institute... Who said it had to be boring? (Rogue/Remy) *Chapter 34!*
1. Trimming the Tree and Why Eavesdropping ...

Title: Twisted Christmas... The X-Men Way  
  
Authors: Disturbed Courtney and Lilith Knight  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own them. We're just giving them the happiness the writers mostly refuse to. *smiling*  
  
Summary: It's Christmas time at the Xavier Institute... Who said it had to be boring?  
  
Rating: Well... there IS bad language, but if you know what the words mean then you've heard them before and it doesn't matter, now does it? :)  
  
Spoilers: X-Men: Evolution up to the newest eps, and the comics... But if you don't know who Remy is and why Rogue has super-strength, invulnerability, and can fly then you are WAY behind.  
  
Feedback: Yes! Tell us how insane we are!!  
  
Comments: We're playing in Courtney's version of the Evolution'verse for this. I like her world. *grins* It's more fun than the cannon one though it runs along more or less the same lines.   
  
Dedication: Who do we wanna dedicate this to? *Lilith looks at Courtney* *Courtney looks at Lilith* *in unison* REMY!!! *laughter*  
  
~telepathic communication~  
'thoughts'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was the last day before Christmas vacation. When the bells rang hundreds of kids bolted for freedom in unison. Some of the more unique students were especially glad of the vacation because they got to see their parents.   
  
Bobby slammed the locker shut and pumped his fists in the air. "Alriiiight! Winter break is HERE!! Woo-hoo!" He didn't even wait for the others to say a word before he brought his hands together and threw up some fresh made snow. Jubilee and Amara giggled, not caring if anyone saw him. Kitty watched from her locker with Rogue.   
  
"You know," she started. "I'm kind of sad that I'm going home for the holidays... It would've been really cool to see what would happen here."  
  
Rogue smirked in return. "Or are ya just gonna miss Lancey-poo?"  
  
Kitty blushed a bit and shut her locker. "Maybe that's a little bit of it. But the whole Institute is my family, too."  
  
Rogue looked into her locker, shuffling around some things. "Yeah, Ah know whatcha mean, Ah guess." Her eyes glanced on one of the photos of Remy she had up. "Oh shit, he's prob'ly waitin' foh me. Betta get goin'." She shut her locker and started walking away. "See you back at home."  
  
Jubes watched her go. "They are SOO cute together."  
  
Rahne nodded and laughed. "I'm glad I don't get like that though."  
  
Amara giggled. "You don't? And I suppose you and Sam are 'just friends', right?"  
  
Both Sam and Rahne both flushed a deep red and denied it vehemently while the others laughed.  
  
  
  
Outside, Jean tightened her coat around her. She unconsciously wondered for a moment if she should go get a ride with Duncan but seeing Scott on his way changed her mind. She stood up from leaning on his car and smiled at his arrival. "Hey, Scott. Could you have taken any longer? I just about froze my toes off," she joked.   
  
"Sorry about that. I needed to talk to Taryn for a second."  
  
Jean's expression turned plain from the previous lighthearted smile she had. "Oh... Guess she's disappointed you're going to Hawaii for a couple days."  
  
"Yeah. She'll get over it though. We're going to spend some time together after the holiday."  
  
Jean just nodded, fighting to keep her expression from turning cold. "I see. Well, Duncan's got some big Christmas surprise for me later. It should be interesting."  
  
Now it was Scott's turn to internally frown. "Cool," was all he could manage to say as he unlocked his door. The two got in the car and sat in silence for a moment.   
  
Jean was about to open her mouth, but she was interrupted by the now thankful sound of Kurt teleporting in. He pulled his hat over his ears even lower. "Since when did it get so cold?? Put some heat on already!" He reached up from the backseat to push the buttons on the dashboard.  
  
Unfortunately what he hit was the radio sending music blasting through the car at earsplitting decibels. Cries of shock and pain rang out through the car for the instant before Kurt managed to shut off the music. "Um... Sorry?" he offered sheepishly.  
  
Scott glared at him, ears still ringing and flipped the correct switch for the heater. "Leave. The. Buttons. Alone."  
  
Kitty phased through the door into the car. "Brrr. It's cold."  
  
Kurt grinned at her. "What? Lance can't warm you up?"  
  
Kitty blushed for the second time that day and smacked Kurt. "Kuurt! Shut uuup!!"  
  
Evan jumped into the car bringing with him a rush of cold air. "Wazzup, my homies?" Everyone on the car turned and looked at him. "What?" He looked around, confused. "What??"  
  
"Nevermind. Let's just get back home. I still have to pack anyway," Scott said. There was a chorus of agreement as he peeled out of the parking lot.  
  
  
  
Rogue pulled her gloves on tighter and pulled the collar up on her trench coat. The cold wasn't getting to her; she just did it out of habit. She waited patiently for Remy, kicking her feet in the less-than-half-an-inch of snow. She thought she had been late getting to the motorcycle, but it seemed Remy had been held back for who knows what. She watched as Scott's car drove away from the school, followed closely by the Jeep driven by Bobby.  
  
Shoving her hands in her pockets, she finally saw Remy come out of school. He caught her eyes and smiled warmly. "What took ya so long?" she asked when he was close enough.  
  
"Damn English teach had a stick up her ass t'day. I fell 'sleep in class, an' she kept me back. All I can say is dat I hope she likes de charged chalk I t'rew behind me on m' way out." He grinned.  
  
Rogue just shook her head, not surprised at all by his actions. "Ya ready ta go then?" Behind him, she saw the silver PT Cruizer pull out of the parking lot with Sam behind the wheel, the other new recruits with him. Remy nodded in response, tugging lightly on his similar trench coat to make it looser for driving. He climbed on the motorcycle, which Xavier gave him as an early Christmas present, as he had with the other students and their new transportation. Rogue slid behind him and wrapped her arms around his stomach. She rested her head on his back, feeling his warmth through the jacket.   
  
"Let's go," she said, smirking. She loved the power of this bike. It seemed up to par with Logan's treasured motorcycle in speed and handling.  
  
Remy responded by revving it up and speeding out of the parking lot. On their way out, they passed quickly by Lance and the other Brotherhood members. Rogue waved in an almost friendly matter before they were gone in a flash of wind and snow.  
  
"Hey, Remy? Ya don't think Lance had any hard feelin's 'bout what happened earlier, do ya?"  
  
"What? Dat I kicked his ass cuz dat bastard almost drowned y'?"  
  
"Yeah, that."  
  
"Nah."  
  
"The black eye is startin' ta turn yellow... Ah guess it's gettin' better. Ah'm surprised Kitty didn't get on yoah ass 'bout it."  
  
He turned to grin demonically. "It's all 'bout de charm, chere."  
  
  
  
BACK AT THE MANSION...  
  
There was a huge Christmas tree standing in the in corner of the entrance foyer of the mansion. A really, REALLY huge one... twenty feet high at least.  
  
"And WHY did you get a tree that big, Logan?" The professor was gazing in shock at beautiful, though enormous tree.  
  
"You did say to get them whatever they wanted, Charles." Logan was highly amused.  
  
"How did they even get it here, let alone in the house?" The professor was not.  
  
"Rogue did the lifting, and the half-pint phased it through the wall." The professor buried his head in his hands. "Well, you're always telling them to use teamwork."  
  
"We need Christmas music to decorate!" Bobby said while sliding down the railing of the stairs, boom box in hand. He pressed a button and music started blasting out. It was "The Night Santa Went Crazy" by Weird Al Yankovic. There was cheering from the kids who were assembled around the as yet undecorated Christmas tree. The professor groaned and retreated to the study for some much-needed aspirin. Logan walked off to do his lone wolf thing.  
  
"Question... How are we gonna get up there ta put on the ornaments?" Sam asked. There was much pondering about that. It was cut off as Rogue and Remy entered through the front door, shaking snow off their clothes.   
  
"Hey, Rogue, how'd you like to help us decorate the tree?" Roberto asked.  
  
"Um... Let me think... No. Ah dragged the damn thing in here. That was mah contribution."  
  
"Sorry, mes amis. We got bet'er t'in's t' do."   
  
"Oh, yeah? What?" Ray challenged.  
  
"Dat's f'r us t' know an' y' t' wonder an' obsess 'bout." Remy smirked as they went up to Rogue's room and shut the door.  
  
"I know! To Jean! Onward!" Bobby shouted. They all tramped up the stairs and stopped outside Jean's room. "Jean! We neeeeed you. Heeeelp us."   
  
The door opened a crack. "What do you want?"  
  
"None up us can reach the top branches. How about you use your TK?" Evan suggested.  
  
"No." The door shut.  
  
"Ve have vays of making you cooperate." Kurt grinned, exaggerating his accent for effect. He whispered to the others quickly. The giggled and nodded. "One... Two... Three..." They began to sing a very loud, very off-key version of "Jingle Bells." The door opened almost immediately.  
  
"Alright, ALRIGHT! I'll help. Just, please, stop singing." She sighed, resigned, as they dragged her downstairs.  
  
  
  
A while later, after helping a bit with the tree, the curiosity became too much for them and Jubilee and Bobby were crouched outside Rogue's room, listening intently.   
  
"What do you think they're doing in there?" Jubilee asked in a whisper.  
  
"Well, they can't... you know. Can they?" Bobby whispered back.  
  
Inside, Rogue was hovering right next to the door and above the floor so her footsteps couldn't be heard on the other side. She flew back over to her bed and nodded to Remy, letting him know that the others had indeed followed them up. She smirked and looked between him and the door. "Mmm... Remy..." she started in a low voice. "Just a li'l lower, ahh Gawd that's it..." She fought to keep her voice from smiling as much as her face was.  
  
Remy grinned back wickedly. "Y' like dat, chere?" He watched, amused, as Rogue tried (so far successfully) to keep from laughing even as she blushed a bit. He loved it when she blushed. It was absolutely adorable.  
  
"Ya know Ah do. Ooh!" Behind the door there was a thump and furious whispering. They both almost lost it then. It was just so damned funny.  
  
"Oh, my GOD!" Jubilee hissed. "They're actually doing it!"  
  
"They can't be! They must be faking," Bobby hissed back. There was a moan then a gasp and a rhythmic creaking of the bed began from inside the bedroom.  
  
"Well, it sounds pretty freaking real to me!"  
  
"What are you guys doing?" Kitty asked from behind them.  
  
Both jumped, startled, then dragged her down next to them and told her "Shhh!"  
  
Kitty just glared between the two of them for a moment before she heard the noises coming from within. Then her face paled. "They aren't doing what I think they're doing, are they?"  
  
Jubilee looked at her with a wrinkle to her nose. "What else could they possibly be doing?!" She whispered loudly.  
  
"Ick... I share that room with her, too..." Kitty shivered, disgusted.  
  
"Hey," Bobby piped up. "How about you peek in and see what's going on?"  
  
Kitty's eyes widened at his suggestion. "You've gotta be kidding me. Seeing something like that is, like, definitely not on my list of things I have to complete before I die."  
  
"Aww, Kit, please!" His eyes begged like a puppy. "Just this once!!"  
  
"What'll I get in return?" She challenged.  
  
"Umm... Jubes, a little help?"   
  
Back inside the room, Remy was actually rubbing Rogue's shoulders a bit, in between making the bed noises. "Y' t'ink dey fell for it?" He murmured close to her ear.  
  
"Mmm... don't care if they did..." she smiled lazily against his massage. She heard another bump outside and her smile brightened. "More company. Any guesses on who?"  
  
Remy listened intently for a second to the hushed voices behind the door. "It's Kitty."  
  
Rogue let out another loud moan for show. "All the better. If Ah know Bobby, he's talkin' her inta phasin' in."  
  
  
  
Jubilee frantically thought of a bribe. "I'll lend you any of my clothes that you want." Kitty shook her head. "Cds?"  
  
"You, like, want me to, like, look in THERE to see if they're doing THAT and you tell me I can borrow your stuff? No way." She got up to leave.  
  
Bobby caught her wrist. "Wait. Aren't you at least a LITTLE curious?"  
  
"NO." He wasn't gaining any ground there.  
  
"Come on. Bobby and I will do all your chores for a month." Kitty hesitated. "Two months!"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Do you want to know or not?"  
  
He gave out a semi-loud sigh, which was followed by another thump on the bed. That decided it for him. "Alright. Two months. Just do this for us," a slight glare from Jubilee, "Okay, mostly me, but please!"  
  
Kitty smiled with satisfaction, but then it faded. "Fine. I'll do it. I don't suggest going in with me though. I know what Rogue's like and she'll totally flip if anyone would ever, ever do this. But with me... she might be, like, more understanding. It is MY room too after all." She cringed as she heard another moan.  
  
Not wanting to waste anymore time and to get this over with, she stood up and made herself intangible. Then she peeked her head into the room, where she not only saw a fully dressed Rogue and Remy, but they were grinning at her entrance. Rogue immediately put a finger up to her lips, while Remy mouthed, "Play along," to the confused freshman.  
  
"Kitty! What the hell is yoah problem bustin' in here! There's somethin' called knockin'!" Rogue nodded towards her to continue.  
  
Kitty grinned and then shrieked. "Oh my god! I, like, had no idea! Aah!" She quickly phased out and leaned against the wall opposite the door. Bobby and Jubilee were waiting with their eyes wide. "I never, ever, want to see something like that ever again. I'm totally scarred for life now..." She let out a shudder for good measure. Then she started to get up. "Excuse me while I, like, go gouge my eyes out with a spork." She stumbled away, holding her giggles in till she was out of ear shot.  
  
She was gasping for air and tripping down the hall she was laughing so hard. Totally oblivious to her surroundings she ran right into Scott. Scott, of course, only saw that Kitty was gasping, red in the face, and couldn't walk straight.  
  
"Kitty! Kitty, are you okay?"  
  
Kitty decided to have a little more fun and maybe help Scott lighten up at the same time. "No! The horror. Oh, God, make the images stop!!" She clutched his shirt and buried her face in his chest to hide the huge smile on her face.  
  
"What? Tell me."  
  
"Rogue... Remy... They were... They were, like... DOING it!!!!! IN MY ROOM!!!"  
  
"Oh, God!" Scott took off down the hall, not seeing Kitty collapse against the wall giggling uncontrollably.  
  
Jamie walked by and saw Kitty who sitting on the floor, back against the wall, laughing. "What's so funny?" Kitty opened her mouth and tried to speak but couldn't stop giggling long enough long enough. "Okaaaay..." He shook his head, wondering if everyone who lived here was nuts.  
  
Scott made it down to Rogue and Kitty's room, his eyes catching Bobby and Jubilee on the floor by the door. He thought about asking them what they were doing there, but instead of being Captain Obvious, he marched straight up to the door and knocked. "Rogue? Remy? What's going on in there?" he asked as calmly as possible.  
  
Rogue choked on her giggle and looked to the door. "Umm... nothin' Scott..." She looked to Remy. He just grinned.   
  
"Strip an' get under de covers."  
  
"What?!"  
  
He shrugged. "Can' blame me f'r tryin'. Jus' get under de covers." She nodded, actually partially obliging him by taking off her outer layer. Remy pulled off his jeans and sweater in record time and pulled an extra blanket off of Rogue's bed and wrapped it around his now only boxer clad body. He turned to grin at Rogue and she bit her lip, not only keeping in her laughter but also enjoying the view.  
  
Remy held the blanket in place at one hip and walked over to the door, swinging it open. "C'n I help y', mon ami?" he asked darkly, as if Scott interrupted something that couldn't be started up ever again.  
  
Scott internally gulped while Jubilee and Bobby's jaws dropped from their position on the floor. "I just heard things..."  
  
"Well, den y' best be movin' on, don' y' t'ink? We're obviously not in de mood f'r people peekin' in an' checkin' up on us."   
  
Scott glanced over Remy's shoulder where Rogue was lying comfortably in the bed with a cynical smile on her face. "Do ya mind? Ah think we'd like ta finish up." She then glared down to the two teens on the floor, who didn't even wait for a warning. They scrambled off the floor and fled in separate directions. Scott looked like he was ready to go too. "Wait a sec there, Scott. Let Kitty know that the room is gonna be off limits foh another half hour. At least." She glared more daggers at him and his face turned as red as his glasses.  
  
"Uh-huh," was all he could say. He muttered his apologies and shut the door for Remy. Remy pressed his ear up to the door and when he was sure Scott was gone, he collapsed down in a new fit of laughter. Rogue squealed with delight as well.  
  
Remy finally controlled himself and looked up to Rogue who was leaning on her elbows, gazing down on him. "Dat was tres magnifique, chere. Didn' t'ink y' had it in y'."  
  
"Oh? So now Ah'm not only a lightweight, but Ah'm a wuss? Ah see how it is." She gave a small, crude smirk and rolled over so she was watching him get up upside-down. She reached for her shirt which she had discarded near the bed and half slipped it on so it was hanging off her neck. "Hey, Remy?"  
  
"Oui?"  
  
"Ya don't think they took it serious, do ya?"  
  
"Scott looked ready t' shit his pants out o' embarrassment, chere. An' Popsicle an' Jubes looked pretty convinced as well."  
  
She paused for a moment as Remy stood up fully, the blanket slightly sliding down even further to fully show his abs. She shook her head lightly to escape her trance. "Now they'll think twice 'bout the whole 'no touchy' thing." He sat down on the edge of the bed, staring down at her.  
  
"Damn straight." He tickled her through the blanket over her stomach and soon she was laughing hysterically once again.  
  
By the tree downstairs, Jubilee was all but screaming out the events that had just taken place upstairs. Logan just happened to be coming back from his outing to hear the words "I swear I know what I heard. They were doing it!" from Jubilee.  
  
"Who was doin' what," he asked in a low growl from the door.   
  
Jubilee whipped around in surprise. "Umm, did I say that?" He only narrowed his eyes. "How about this... Why don't you go check for yourself!" She said this only to get the Wolverine away from her and her gossiping ways, not to get Rogue and Remy in trouble. "Rogue and Kitty's room. All I gotta say is be careful."  
  
He snorted. "Right." And he went up. No more than half a minute after he was up the steps, a constant giggling could be heard from the top of the steps. Jamie looked up the steps to see Kitty still laughing. He shook his head once again and hooked his thumbs towards her.   
  
"Anyone know what's up with her?" The others glanced up and saw her too. She felt the eyes on her and looked forward.  
  
"Oops." She smiled and phased out of sight.  
  
Logan walked briskly to Rogue's bedroom door, immediately hearing the laughter from inside. "Remy!! Ah swear... if ya don't stop... raht now..."  
  
"Wha' y' gon' do, chere?" He chuckled and continued tickling her.  
  
Logan, always one up for kicks, didn't bother knocking. He unsheathed his claws and brought the door down. Rogue and Remy heard the door come down and instantly they were up and five feet away from each other.  
  
"What were you two doing in here?" Logan growled.  
  
"Nothing," They answered in unison, trying to look innocent. Logan, with the natural suspicion all adults have toward teenagers, was inclined to doubt their truthfulness. He kept an eyebrow raised in question, his eyes noticing Rogue's shirt still hanging about her neck. She followed his stare and noticed it as well. She hastily pulled it on and smiled sweetly. He did nothing but growl.  
  
"You can't honestly think we did anythin', Logan. This is ME we're talkin' about," Rogue defended. "Bobby and Jubes couldn't mind their business so we gave 'em some food foh thought. Simple," she added sourly. She wasn't going to get down on her hands and knees and beg him to listen to her.   
  
Logan considered her answer slowly. It did make sense after all... Even though Rogue and Remy have had their moments of fun, they wouldn't do something completely disastrous. 'Sorta.' Logan snorted internally. "Fine. So you made some shit up about having sex and teaching the new kids about eavesdropping?"  
  
"Well, if y' put it dat way, y' make us sound like we're de bad ones in dis." Remy grinned.  
  
Logan ignored the comment but relented on the issue. "As long as you're joking. Better hope it doesn't get 'round to Charles though. Jubes is downstairs blabbing away about what 'happened'."  
  
Remy put an arm around Rogue. "Let her. At least dey'll know some people in dis place know how t' get deir act t'get'er an' do... stuff." Then he coughed 'ScottanJean' into his hand quickly. Rogue let out a short laugh but then sobered for Logan. He cracked a smile.  
  
"You're off the hook. Come downstairs and see the tree. The others worked hard on it." He left the room.  
  
TBC... 


	2. The Dangers of Caroling

The southern couple walked downstairs, each with an arm slung around the other's waist, and into the foyer where the Christmas tree stood in all it's glory. Everyone really had done a nice job. There was dead silence for a moment when they walked into the room. Remy and Rogue were again forced to suppress their laughter lest they give the game away.  
  
"Wow. It looks great y'all. How'd ya get the highah branches?"  
  
"Well, since SOME people with the power to fly," Ray gave her a dark look, "didn't help we got Jean to do the higher branches with her TK, the girls stood on our shoulders to reach the middle ones, and all of us did the lower ones."  
  
Remy was about to make a smart comment when there was a knock on the door. Kitty flew out of the wall and through the front door, appearing a moment later dragging Lance in after her. "Um, hi," he greeted the others a bit uncomfortably. Then he caught sight of the Christmas tree and his eyes widened. "Woah..."  
  
Once he got over his awe of the tree, his glance met those of the many X-Men in the foyer. The ways they were looking at him widely differed. Remy rubbed his fist while Rogue glared at him from underneath the Cajun's arms. Jubilee and the other new recruits had small smiles on their faces, happy to see him, yet rather confused as to why he was there. They figured that since he'd ditched the team, they would've only see him in the halls at school. But with a quick glance at Kitty and the deep blush on her cheeks, it all came together.   
  
"Umm," Lance ran a hand through his hair. "What's goin' on?" he asked casually.  
  
Rogue hmphed loud enough for it to almost echo. Remy massaged her side to calm her down. He replied back, "Not'in' at all." Then he squinted at him. "De eye is lookin' better, eh? How's it feelin'?" He grinned with satisfaction.  
  
Lance was about to let out a growl, but he caught Kitty looking up to him with pleading eyes. He sighed. "Better, thanks," he muttered dejectedly.   
  
Kitty smiled happily. "Umm, if you guys, like, don't mind, I'm just going to... right. C'mon, Lance." She took his hand, leading him away.  
  
Bobby leaned into Jubilee and whispered, "Great, who's going to spy on them for us?"   
  
She pointed a finger into his chest. "I'm not doing ANYMORE chores for ANYONE just so you can feed your perverted mind," she told him as she blasted him a few inches away with a tiny paff. He backed up into Amara, who also gave him a disapproving look.  
  
"No way. You'd be better off playing matchmaker with Scott and Jean than getting me involved with THAT."  
  
"I heard that!!" Jean screamed from her room.  
  
"Aw, you're no fun..." His eyes lit up as he spotted Jamie. "Jamie! My main man!"  
  
"Not a chance. You see I have something you lack... survival skills. Every single one of the girls in this mansion could kick my ass, with the possible exception of Kitty, and she has Lance. NO!"  
  
"Damn." He sighed, glanced around at the others, none of whom were going to help him spy on Kitty and Lance. Suddenly he had and idea, nonchalantly opening the door and wandering outside. As soon as he was off the sidewalk he made an ice slide that went all the way around the mansion and up to Kitty's window. It topped out into a platform and he peered into the window where Kitty and Lance appeared to be talking quietly. 'Well, this sucks,' he thought with a mental pout. Then Lance leaned forward and kissed her. 'Yes! Score!' Bobby thought, like the little perv he was, as Kitty kissed Lance back. Then Lance saw him and extended his arm, fingers spread. "Oh, shit..."  
  
Kitty watched as Lance turned to the window. Seeing Bobby out there, she shrieked. When Lance started to raise his hand up, she didn't stop him. Lance's eyes rolled back and a tremor rocked throughout the estate. Students in the foyer just shook their heads as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Rogue looked to Evan. "Ha! Ah said under five minutes. Pay up." She held out her gloved hand. Evan smacked down a $10 bill, sulking.  
  
Bobby's ice slide crumbled under the shakes, and down he went. He created a small ice tower to break his fall on the way down, but it shattered as well. Kitty looked down at him from the window. "Serves you right!!" She gave him the most evil look she could muster, which was actually pretty good for her. Then she slammed her window shut and pulled down the shade.  
  
On the ground, Bobby just shook his head, waiting for the pain to come. Then he vowed to himself no more peeping. 'Well... for at least today.' He amended, grinning.  
  
  
  
Remy tore his room apart, looking for the bottle of bourbon he'd stashed, even if he already knew it wasn't there. He hated it when people went in his room. He was a naturally secretive person and the thought of people going through his things really bothered him, despite the fact that, as a thief, he'd done the same to countless others. Then there was the fact that you just don't steal a man's liquor. It was practically an unwritten rule to the male half of the species.  
  
He muttered French curses as he flipped his bed sheets up again, checking underneath the bed for what had to be the fifth time. He'd had a special night planned with that bourban. Even if Rogue didn't like it, she was still willing drink it. "Oh, yes," he said to no one but himself. "Somebody's gon' pay f'dis one."  
  
A laugh came from the doorway. "Lookin' for something, Gumbo?"   
  
Remy slowly turned toward the door. There was Logan, smirking at him, the half-empty bottle of bourbon dangling from one hand.  
  
"Hey, dat's mine!"  
  
"Not any more. You know the rules. No liquor on the premises."  
  
"Oh, like dat stash y' have hid'en in de garage?"  
  
Logan's eyes narrowed. "I'll have to move that."  
  
"Why de hell y' goin' t'rough m' room anyway? No' like I go t'rough y' shit!" He was furious, watching that bottle hand lazily from Logan's hand... Correction, that HALF EMPTY bottle... He didn't know what was holding him back.  
  
"Can't allow underage drinking either."  
  
"Y' can't even get drunk on dat! What are y' doin' wit' it!?" His hands glowed dangerously.  
  
Logan noticed this and just smiled. "Have a good night, Cajun." He took another swig and walked away.   
  
A card appeared in Remy's hand and started to glow pink. He debated whether or not it would be worth it to throw it at the smug Canadian. That settled, he debated whether or he'd survive if/when Logan decided to retaliate. There was the kicker.  
  
Rogue flew up behind him and touched him lightly on the shoulder. The card dropped as he jumped. BOOM! "Remy? What's the matter?" she asked, worried. The card had left a nice black mark in the newly laid carpet. He'd had these types of accidents before.  
  
He turned and faced her. "Wolverine took my bourbon," he replied softly, like a child.  
  
A maternal frown came across her face. "Aww, Remy. Ah know how much ya like that stuff. C'mere." She opened her arms and he graciously moved in, resting his head against her shoulder as she rubbed his back soothingly. "Ya wanna go foh a walk? It'll make ya feel better."  
  
He nodded. "Y' go downstairs an' I'll be dere in a minute."  
  
"Don't be late. Ah'm leavin' without ya if ya do." She smiled and left the room.  
  
  
  
Rogue was walking outside during what was the beginning of a light snowfall. It was the perfect Christmas mood, given the holiday was only three short days away. The flakes collected on her hair in a very movie-like way. She smiled to herself, slowly walking along the path that led all the way out to the front of the estate. She heard a rustling in the trees, so she whipped around to face it. "Remy, if that's you, Ah told ya Ah was gonna leave without ya."  
  
"I'm sorry, dear Rogue," Beast said as he stepped out from the small forest of trees. "It's still so frighteningly simple to get lost in this labyrinth of a domicile."  
  
"It's alraht, Mr. McCoy. Wanna join me on mah walk?"  
  
"I'd be delighted. And, please, call me Hank."  
  
Rogue laughed. "Fine then. C'mon." They continued up the snowdusted stretch of path. Soon they heard running footsteps behind them. Rogue turned and saw Remy trying to catch up. "Oh, now look who shows up."  
  
"Hey! Y' know Logan stole m' bourbon. Had t' do some mournin'. 'Ello, Henri."  
  
"Evening, Remy. What's this about bourbon?" he inquired with a slight sternness in his voice. He was one of the institute teachers after all.  
  
"Umm, not'in'. Let's keep walkin'." He smirked his Remy-smirk and laced his gloved fingers with Rogue's. The trio continued walking aimlessly. After a few minutes, they heard something, but neither of the teens could figure out what it was.  
  
"It's carolers!" Hank exclaimed. "Who would have thought that carolers would have come to grace our presence and sing their joy to us!"  
  
Rogue and Remy just exchanged strange looks then looked back looked to Beast who was nearly jumping about with excitement. "Hank... we can't let 'em stay here, ya know that, doncha?" Rogue explained gently.  
  
"Why on earth not?"  
  
Remy grinned. "'Cuz what's de holiday season wit'out scarin' de hell out o' de locals? Chere, call de ot'ers." Rogue nodded and called into her communicator.  
  
"Kurt?" There was a faint click and then...  
  
"Ja?"  
  
"There are some carolers here..." Rogue's voice turned vaguely evil. "Ya know what we do with carolers..."  
  
"Ja! I'll tell ze ot'ers!"  
  
  
  
Kurt clicked off with Rogue and then clicked again. "Bobby?"  
  
"Yeah, elf?"  
  
"Ve've got some carolers coming in. Zere's an attack in ze planning. Get whoever you can."  
  
Bobby could be heard whooping to himself. "Sure! I'll get Ray!"  
  
  
  
Ray was in his room, loud rock music blasting, looking at *ahem* questionable imagery in a magazine when Bobby burst in the room, halting at the sight of Ray's "reading material."  
  
"Hey, man! You've been holding out on us!"  
  
"Was there a REASON you burst into my room without knocking?"  
  
He stood there blankly for a second, his eyes attempting to see through the pages on the magazine. "Oh... umm... right! Carolers in the area. I've been told to retrieve anyone willing."  
  
Ray put the magazine face down on the bed, so as to have Bobby's undivided attention. "Carolers, you say?"  
  
Bobby thought about trying to peek behind Ray to the magazine, but figured it was futile. "Yep. I'm going to get Amara and Jubes. Go find Jamie."  
  
"Alright. I'll get Rahne and Sam too."  
  
"Righto!"   
  
Ray made a 'well, leave' motion with his hands to the lingering boy. "Go! I'm hiding this where you can't find it."  
  
"You suck."  
  
"Hey, you wanna look buy a subscription," Ray responded unsympathetically.  
  
Bobby pouted but went off to find the others.  
  
  
  
The carolers had grown louder, causing Rogue to cringe slightly. Sure, she had Christmas spirit, but if her music wasn't coming out with wailing guitars and such, she just couldn't stand it. She clicked her communicator again. "And Kit? Bring my portable stereo."  
  
"Okay. I'll be out with Kurt in no time." Rogue clicked it off once again and turned to smirk along with Remy. Hank still had that same confused look on his face, which was not by any means a common sight.   
  
"What's going on now?" he asked innocently.   
  
"Our li'l caroler friends are goin' t' see why y' don' sing t' large mansion gates."  
  
  
  
Ray, who strangely enough had more courtesy than Bobby, knocked on Sam's door before entering. There he was with Rahne was sitting on the bed next to him. "Aww... isn't this just a Kodak moment?" he mocked. They blushed and Rahne growled at him. "We got carolers people! Are you just gonna sit there, or we gonna have some fun?!"  
  
Rahne kept a steady glare on Ray, but Sam spoke up. "Carolers?!" he squealed with joy and grabbed Rahne's hand, pulling her off the bed.   
  
She looked at him funny. "What's the big deal? I've ne'er heard anyone so excited."  
  
Ray walked over to her and placed an friendly arm around her shoulder. "Dear sweet Rahney, you have so much to learn about America." She snapped at his hand which he jerked away. "Okay," he smiled easily. "Never let it be said that I can't take a hint. Let's find Jamie so we can go."  
  
  
  
Outside once again, the trio had turned into five, and with Bobby coming in on an ice slide with company, it looked like their numbers were still growing. He stopped a few feet short of the others, Jubilee letting go of his waist. "Amara is getting Roberto," she announced to the others.   
  
Rogue just nodded, adjusting her stereo which Kitty and Kurt had teleported over to her. "Hey, Bobby, ya didn't happen ta bring any of yoah twisted stuff, did ya?"   
  
He hopped off the slide and changed back to human form. Then he rustled in his pocket a moment. "The best stuff for carolers," he grinned.  
  
Rogue took the cd and went back to fiddling with the controls, Remy doing his best to distract her. Finally she elbowed him. "This is serious business, Swamp Rat. If ya cain't keep yoah hands to yoahself then I'll get Bobby ta freeze 'em off."  
  
Remy grinned unrepentantly, "Dat's no' wha' y' said a couple nights ago, chere," he teased but settled for putting his arms around her waist and watching her work.  
  
Bobby's eyes widened and he looked to Jubilee, who mirrored his expression. Remy watched their faces from the corner of his eye. "Somet'in' on y' mind, popsicle?"   
  
He kicked some snow in front of him, avoiding Remy's penetrating red on black stare. "Nothing at all," he mumbled. Jubilee made some tiny paffs just for the hell of it, just hoping Remy would avoid asking her the same thing.   
  
Rogue looked up from her work on the CD player. "Good ta hear." She laughed to herself and then looked up to the noise of more people coming. Roberto was walking towards them with Amara in tow, both bundled up to hell. No more than twenty feet behind them were Ray and the others. The others being Sam, Rahne, and several Jamies.  
  
"He tripped," Sam offered at Kitty's raised eyebrow.  
  
Roberto frowned and scratched his head. "You know I have strangest feeling we've forgotten something..."  
  
  
  
Evan looked around the upper floor of the mansion for the other teenage residents. "Guys? Guys?" All of their rooms were vacant. "Where is everyone? They couldn't have just vanished... could they?" His eyes flitted around in a paranoid sort of way and spikes popped out on his arms. "Hello? Someone? ANYONE?! HELLO?!?!"  
  
  
  
"Okay, so what's the game plan?" Ray asked, rubbing his hands together, creating a small electric charge in the process.  
  
"Well, first let's make sure they don't leave prematurely..." Bobby said, grinning as he formed a thick blocks of ice around the feet of the unlucky carolers. They abruptly stopped their singing and looked to their now ice covered feet. Since the teenagers plus Beast were far enough away that they couldn't be seen from the gates, the carolers were completely confused, and more off, frightened.   
  
"Do your thing now, Rahne," Amara whispered. Rahne nodded and morphed into her wolf form. She trotted up to the gate, peering curiously at the carolers. They actually thought of her as a rabid guard dog, and when one tried to run, he just ended up tripping over his ice feet and falling to the ground. Rahne barked out a laugh, but still was skeptical about this so-called American tradition. Her wolf snout formed a grin as best as it could, while the others started their way up to the gate.  
  
Hank stood back. "If you don't mind, I think I would like to stay here and watch from a safe distance."  
  
Kitty pouted. "Aww, Mr. McCoy. Where's your Christmas spirit?"  
  
"May I point out that I am not taking immense pleasure out of tormenting carolers as you seem to be?"   
  
Kitty rolled her eyes. "It's tradition." She picked up a white sheet she'd brought that had been lying unnoticed on the snow. "Kurt? Little help?" He boosted onto her shoulders and she draped the sheet over them both.  
  
"I can't see..." he mumbled.  
  
Sam grabbed Kurt at waist level and steered him toward the now panicking carolers. "Just go forward and ya'll be fine as long as Kitty stays intangible."  
  
"I have a BAD feeling about zis..."  
  
"Don't be such a worrier, Kurt." Kitty whispered from above. "Just like we planned before we came over."   
  
"Right, right." He sighed, but then after feeling the slight tingle of passing through the iron gate, a small demonic grin came to his face.  
  
They couldn't have looked more ridiculous, but the carolers didn't know any better. First the ice, then a strange dog, now this. It didn't help their attitudes much when Kitty walked right through them. One of the carolers dropped her book and fainted. "Ready?" Kitty whispered. Kurt nodded. "Alright, I'm going. See you back on the other side." Slowly, she phased through him, bringing the sheet with her into the ground. Now the carolers could only see the blue elf, more like demon, in front of them. Screams rang out of course.  
  
Kurt made a scary face, which wasn't all that scary (more like goofy) to anyone except the carolers. "It's a devil! Run!" They made a valiant effort to escape, halted by a sheet of ice, courtesy of Bobby.  
  
One of them pulled out a cross and held it out facing Kurt. He pretended to cringe and bamfed away.  
  
"Oh, thank, God we're safe!" one of them exclaimed. They looked around at the sudden sound of hysterical laughter that seemed to come from everywhere at once. They drew closer to each other and huddled together in a frightened ball.  
  
Rogue stood on the team's side of the gate, holding her stereo up. She hit play, and Bob Rivers music, appropiety enough "The Twelve Pains of Christmas," started pouring out. Jubilee, Amara, Jamie, Remy and Ray were hiding in the bushes.  
  
Remy held up his index finger, signaling for them to wait. Then he lowered it and all hell broke loose. In his other hand, he had one of his trademark playing cards. He charged it, and let it fly. It landed no more than 4 inches away from one of the caroler's feet. Jubilee grinned with glee and raised her hands to the sky, her sparks sailed from her fingers in a steady flow of pink and blue.  
  
Jamie poked Jubilee. "Jubes, pink and blue aren't exactly festive. Can you do green and red?"  
  
"Oh, I can do red and green, alright," she said, irritated and sent a short blast at Jamie, knocking him on his ass, and sending half a dozen multiples tumbling out of the bushes. Jubilee put a hand to her mouth. "Oops." She quickly went back to shooting fireworks at the carolers, this time red and green, hoping her "group leader" hadn't noticed.  
  
The Jamies rubbed their heads and noticed the attention they were getting from the carolers. "Umm... boo?" They all said. The carolers shrieked at the Jamies, but soon their attention was divided between the red and green fireworks dangerously close to them and the blue electric bolts coming from the other direction. Ray kept his laughing as low as he could.  
  
  
  
Beast behind the gates, stood in amazement. A small, almost unnoticeable smile came to his face. Rogue turned to him, "Ah know ya wanna get in on this."  
  
"Oh, no. I couldn't possibly..."  
  
"What're ya afraid of? Just make a li'l appearance." She stooped to pouting. "Please? Ah promise you'll have fun."  
  
"It's wrong and-"  
  
"And that's what makes it fun. Go ahead." Sam encouraged.  
  
Beast smiled a bit, giving in. "Well, if you insist..."  
  
Beast jumped out of the bushes, right next to the carolers and roared. They fled in the other directing and stopped short at the sight of Rahne who had her head lowered, teeth bared, and hackles up, doing a very good impression of an angry wolf.  
  
They started scattering in any direction they could think of escaping. One way it was Amara in her Magma form, and even the other was Roberto in a flickering form of Sunspot, due to the lack of solar energy to work off of. Soon, they were stuck huddling all together once again, but then, a complete fog came over them in their minds.  
  
Rogue, guessing what had happened from the sudden blank looks on their faces, sighed and muttered, "Busted."  
  
~I cannot believe you would be so mean to completely innocent carolers who were only trying to spread the joys of the season.~ Jean scolded them.  
  
"An' DAT's why we didn't invite y', Jeanie," Remy said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, way to spoil our fun," Bobby muttered, pouting.   
  
The mutants were again hidden in the bushes by the time the carolers picked themselves up, dazed but unharmed. They glanced around with a sense of forbidding and decided they were better off leaving before anything creepy happened.  
  
Rogue glared dangerously in the general direction of the mansion. "She had NO raht ta do that," she growled. "Ah think we do somethin' ta teach li'l Miss Prissy Princess about the true meanin' of Christmas."  
  
Remy uneasily came up behind her. "What's dat, chere?"  
  
"Tagetherness."  
  
TBC... 


	3. Matchmaking aka the Torture of Jean Grey...

"Ooh! I can't believe them. Honestly, are we the ONLY responsible ones in this house?" Jean ranted at Scott.   
  
He nodded, agreeing with her completely. "I think I'll go get them. Who knows what trouble they could get into?"  
  
"I'll go with you."  
  
To their surprise everyone except Evan was just coming in looking guilty and regretful.  
  
"Scott, Jean, we're so sorry," Kurt said, speaking for the group. "We really vant to make things up to you." He tried his best to go by what Rogue had planned.  
  
Scott threw them all a curious look, "Wait, where's Evan?"  
  
Everyone looked around suspiciously, but Roberto's jaw dropped. "I knew we forgot something! Didn't I tell you we did?!"   
  
Amara rubbed his arm, "Shh. No big deal," she whispered.  
  
"But," Kurt continued, "We feel that it should be up to you guys vhat ve should do to make up for what we did."  
  
"I was thinking that maybe we could all run a level three simulation in the Danger Room," Beast said from behind.  
  
"Mr. McCoy?" Jean asked astonished. "YOU were involved in this too?"  
  
He nodded somberly. "It was fun though," he admitted softly with a small grin.  
  
"So, we're all gonna suit up, and we'll meet you two in the Danger Room. You should be with us to make sure we're punished properly," Rogue sighed. 'Please oh please don't let Jean be scannin' minds raht now...'  
  
Jean ran her eyes over all of them as they treaded up the steps. "Something doesn't feel right, Scott."  
  
His eyes squinted in thought behind his shades. "You're right. But I'm seeing it as them actually wanted to do something good. C'mon, let's go get dressed. We can have Evan run the program for us since he's the only one not getting punished."   
  
Jean knocked on Evan's door. A frightened sounding "Who's there?" came from within.  
  
"Evan? It's Jean. Can we come in?"  
  
"Okay..."  
  
She carefully opened the door and froze. It was Evan. Or at least it looked like Evan... sort of. He had his legs drawn up against his chest and his arms wrapped around them, with an armor of spikes sticking out of every part of his body that was exposed.  
  
"Evan?"  
  
His eyes narrowed. "You're not really Jean. You're one of THEM! Well you won't get ME like you got the others!!!" He extended and arm and shot a spike straight at Jean who managed to slam the door shut just in time. A spike punctured the door about chest height a millisecond later.  
  
Jean turned angrily toward the others, hands on hips. "What did you DO to him?!"  
  
Bobby puts his hands up in defense. "Nothing!! That THING in there," he pointed to the punctured door, "had nothing to do with tonight."  
  
Jean scowled at him once more, then turned to Scott. "What now? We're going to have to give them their punishment now."  
  
Rogue's eyes went wide as she stood behind Remy. "Shit, we gotta do somethin'. It'll never work!" Remy nodded subtly, and focusing his underdeveloped 'charm' power, suggested casually, "Beast could run the simulation. De whole t'in' was mostly our fault anyway." His head hurt a little bit, but it seemed to have had the right effect.  
  
Behind his glasses, Scott blinked a couple times and then saw Jean staring at him for an answer. "That would work. He WAS pretty much pushed into participating with what happened outside."  
  
Jean's eyes softened as she thought about it. It really wasn't fair to punish her own TEACHER for something. It just didn't feel right. "Okay, I'm good with that." She looked to Hank. "You alright with that, Beast?"  
  
He nodded, his expression clear. Internally he thought, 'I can't believe they actually talked me into this whole thing.'  
  
"Good," Scott said, smiling proudly like the leader he was. "Let's get ready then."  
  
  
  
The door slid open and the X-Men walked into the Danger Room. Beast waved from the control panel and Jean again had the feeling something was off, but the thought was interrupted by an electronic voice announcing "Danger Room sequence has been initiated."  
  
The metal room melted into... a tropical paradise? Jean's eyes widened as she looked around and didn't even see any of the teens anymore, just Scott. "I think we've been tricked."  
  
"Thank you for that one," Scott said sarcastically. "Alright, where are you guys?"   
  
Jamie laughed as he was the last one teleported into the control room. "That was fun," he said, before the smell of brimstone hit his nose, almost knocking him off his feet. Ray caught him from behind.   
  
"It's already a tight fit with the ten of us in here." Jamie just shrugged casually and made his way over to the viewing window where he could see Scott and Jean looking around wildly.  
  
Beast sat with his hands resting comfortably on the controls. "This endevour does not feel improper to any of you?" The rest either shook their heads or shot him incredulous looks. "Ah, apparently not."  
  
"Beast, if ya don't feel raht with it," Rogue said with a smirk, sliding into the seat next to him. "Ah could always take the controls an' you could just leave an' just fohget the whole thin'."  
  
"Hey! Who says you get control?" Bobby exclaimed, pushing his way past Jubilee and Amara to the controls. He accidentally hit something. "Oops..." he smiled.  
  
  
  
Suddenly it was a romantic candlelight dinner. Both Scott and Jean were dressed to the nines. He was wearing a suit and she was wearing a low-cut green dress. "Wow," Scott whispered. "You look amaz-"  
  
"Scott, this isn't the time," Jean told him, though she was secretly pleased with the compliment, and couldn't help noticing he looked pretty good himself.  
  
  
  
"Bobby, your idea of romance is pulling a girl's hair and running away. Let someone with some maturity handle this," Jubilee told him, with a shove that unseated him.  
  
"I'm romantic!" he protested from the floor. His statement was immediately followed by laughter.  
  
Jubilee rolled herself closer and examined the buttons. Not understanding any of them, she randomly picked one with a mental 'eeny, miney, mo'. She and the others peered down to check out the damage.  
  
  
  
"Scott?"  
  
"Yeah, Jean?"  
  
"Why are we in a pool with sharks surrounding us?" Sure enough, Jean found herself clawing to Scott to evade the sharks swimming dangerously close to them.   
  
"Jean... you do have telekinetic powers, right?"  
  
"Oh, um, right..." She laughed nervously and pulled herself away from Scott's defined chest. With a wave of her hand, the sharks flew out of the water and landed far away. She glared upwards.  
  
  
  
"I guess it's my turn for 'oops'." Jubilee whispered to anyone listening as she gave up her seat.   
  
Remy sat down in her seat with a sigh. "Don' any o' y' know how t' get people t'get'er!?" The Cajun cracked his knuckles and started tapping away, grinning as he hit the enter button.   
  
  
  
Scott and Jean, once warped into another scene, found themselves staring up to the stars on a blanket in the middle of a cleared field. Jean sighed and comfortably stretched out. "This is more like it."  
  
"Oh, so now you're all right with all of this?" Scott asked her, an amused eyebrow raised.  
  
"Like you've been so unappreciative of all of this. Knowing you, you probably put them up to this."  
  
"What!?" He rolled over and leaned on an elbow to glare at her. "And all this time I was figuring you were easing it into their minds to do this so we could spend time together."  
  
Jean sighed again, this time angrily. She rolled her face away from him. "Okay, now it's been ruined. We've been through this already, Scott Summers."  
  
"If you weren't so self-involved with everything, and shoving DUNCAN in my face, things wouldn't have to be this way!" he all but yelled back.  
  
"Oh, like you going out with my BEST FRIEND is being any more mature!"  
  
  
  
"Ah cain't take this anymore!" Rogue pushed several buttons from above and suddenly the once happy scene of a moonlit picnic was replaced with a cold, tight box. As soon as Jean and Scott stood up, it closed even more around them so they only had room to breathe, which was only mere inches. "Listen, you two. Ah've had it up ta here with the way y'all're pussyfootin' around with each other. Ya either get yoah act tagether an' fuck already to stop all the tension or just get away!" Rogue's eyes widened and she covered the mic. "Did Ah just tell them ta fuck? Oh mah Gawd, the images!!"  
  
"Rogue!!!" several of the new recruits protested at once.  
  
"Thanks a lot. Now I'm gonna have nightmares," Jubilee told her, shuddering.  
  
"No... no... make them stop..." Rogue whimpered, still caught in the horrors her all too imaginative mind had created. Remy, never one to miss a opportunity, pulled her up against him, putting his arms around her and stroking her hair soothingly, all the while murmuring softly in French.  
  
Rahne shook her head. "Well, those two are gonna be useless for the rest o' the night." She took a seat at the control board and typed a few keys. Suddenly, there was a forest around Jean and Scott with wolves howling close by. Jean and Scoot inched closer together, shaking and looking around frantically. "Well, they're together now."  
  
"That kinda doesn't help if they're wettin' themselves out o' fear, Rahne," Sam pointed out delicately.  
  
"What? It's soothing," she pouted.  
  
"Ta you maybe." Sam took his turn at programming. This time Scott and Jean were in the back of a hay wagon that being was pulled by a large horse and directed by a man who looked old as dirt.  
  
  
  
"This is all very touching, but I'm sick of being dragged through every sequence these guys can think up," Jean muttered.  
  
Scott only smiled and wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulders. "It is kinda sweet though. They did this all for us."  
  
She scoffed. "You did hear what Rogue said, right? Seems like all we are are burdens to them."  
  
"Hey, Jean," he said softly, gazing down at her.  
  
Jean looked up, straight through his glasses to what would be brown eyes. "Yes, Scott?"  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way." Then, before he could chicken out of it, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers softly.  
  
  
  
Sam sat back in his chair and cross his arms over his chest, beaming proudly. "Now THAT was soothin'." He came out of his trance of satisfaction with his work to see the others filing out. "What now??"  
  
Kitty looked back to him meekly. "Ick... No matter what we had in store, I don't think I could've, like, prepared my mind for THAT." She shivered and phased through everyone to leave as quickly as possible. Sam frowned in defeat and smacked his arm against the control panel before getting up. He left the room behind the others, not realizing that he'd turned off the hay wagon sequence in exchange for the initial level three they had 'planned' in the beginning. Jean and Scott broke off their kiss as they saw the obstacles come. Scott muttered something about nothing ever going right and fought off the machines accordingly.  
  
When they finished, exhausted and sweaty, the Danger Room let them out. They walked up the stairs, both lost in their thoughts.  
  
"Scott?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"As misguided as they are... maybe the others were right about us. I don't actually care about Duncan."  
  
"And Taryn's just a friend... I really like you, Jean," he confessed awkwardly. Jean leaned up and kissed him.   
  
Evan who was just thinking it might be safe to come out of his room, opened the door cautiously, only to see Scott and Jean making out right in front of the doorway. "AHHHH! MY EYES!! No, Scott! They got you too!!!" The door was slammed once again.  
  
The newly formed couple looked at the door. "You know we really should do something about him," Scott said, concerned.  
  
"It can wait." She kissed him again.  
  
TBC... 


	4. Gag Gifts and Ice Sculptures

All the residents of the mansion were gathered around the Christmas tree, save Bobby who claimed to be putting some last touches on his gift. Everyone was suspicious, but, it being Christmas, decided to give him the benifit of the doubt. Even Logan was there, though it had taken a bit of persuading... alright, a LOT of persuading.   
  
Everyone was going to exchange gifts and just generally enjoy themselves. One gift per person was done in the "Secret Santa" tradition. The senders were clearly labled on the rest. All the teenagers had dragged blankets and pillows downstairs and were dressed in their pajamas, sprawling across each other in a heap, like puppies.  
  
Rogue decided it would be safer if she parked herself on the stairs, away from the pile of teens. Remy sat on the step below her, hugging her legs to either side of him. Jubilee shot a look to Scott, which she would have done to Bobby except he still wasn't present. She glanced around for him, then turned her attention back to the tree, where Xavier was sitting with a smile on his face.  
  
"Merry EARLY Christmas, my students. As you know, not everyone will be here for Christmas morning, so this will be our chance to spend some time together before some of you depart." Ororo smiled from his side and nodded. "All right, let's get started!" He said, uncharacteristically excited. He reached for a present and read the tag. "Kitty, this is to you from your secret Santa." He handed it to her as she reached up awkwardly from her position under Amara and Sam.  
  
"Ooh! What could it be?" she tore it open to find a DVD of "Clueless" inside. There was lots of snickering. "Hey! Okay, who's idea was this?" She phased through the bodies on top of her causing a slight collapse along with several groans and complaints.  
  
"Oof!"  
  
"Watch it!"  
  
When she was finally standing and the complaining had died down, she heard snickering from underneath the pile. She glared in that direction and reached down under one of the Jamies, who had multiplied during the collapse. He let out a tiny gasp at Kitty's hand going through him, but all five of them started laughing when Kurt was busted.  
  
He laughed nervously. "Heh, get it? Clueless? 'Like', 'as if'?" His tail twitched as he waited for Kitty's response.  
  
She just smiled and let go of his shirt. "Thank you, Kurt. I actually like this movie," she told him. She laid back down on the pile, causing some more groans.  
  
"Ahem!" They turned toward the professor, who smiled slightly at their antics. "The next gift is for Sam."  
  
Sam was near the bottom of the pile, and the professor tossed his gift lightly to him. He shook it slightly, listening, and then shrugged and tore it open. It was a helmet. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.  
  
"Oh, yeah, guys, that's real helpful," he drawled.  
  
"It's not for you. It's for the poor walls!" Ray quipped from the other side of the pile where he was laying across Jubilee's lap.  
  
Sam only mocked glared and tried it on. "Perfect fit though," he muttered before turning his attention once again to the professor.  
  
He reached down for another gift, that was slightly out of reach. It floated up to him just enough and he smiled warmly to Jean, who was laying on Scott's back. On the steps, Rogue leaned down to Remy's ear. "Brown noser," she whispered. He nodded in agreement. Jean turned to glare, and all they did was shrug in an eerily similar way.  
  
"This one belongs to Logan."   
  
Logan came out of his 'I wish I was anywhere but here' trance to the sound of his name. "I got one?" The professor nodded as Logan walked over him to accept the gift. "Didn't know I was included in this sh... activity..." The professor gave him a stern look for the almost profanity and handed him a small box.   
  
Logan eyed it warily, before tearing it open. Inside was a weekend pass to a health spa. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "A health spa? You shouldn't have. I mean it. You really, really shouldn't have."   
  
Jubilee jumped up from the pile, heedless of the disturbances she caused in the process. "I got a second pass free with their Christmas special! We can go together, Wolvie! Won't that be fun?"  
  
"Oh, God," he groaned under his breath. "Umm, thanks, Jubes. Can't wait..." He gave the professor a look that clearly said 'please let me out of here so I can destroy something to deal with this my way.'   
  
~Thank you for staying as long as you did, Logan. In all honesty, I just wanted to see how you would react to that.~ Xavier nodded in return.   
  
Logan just growled mentally. "Merry flamin' Christmas," he muttered, stalking out. Jubilee grinned to herself and then settled herself back down on top of Ray.  
  
"I'm so happy he loves it."  
  
"Right, Jubes." Ray said, a small groan escaping as his rib dug into his stomach from the way she laid on top of him.  
  
The professor smiled and picked up the next gift which was adressed to him. "And who is this from?"  
  
"Me!" all five of the Jamies piped up.  
  
The professor smiled and opened the to find a carefully crafted aluminum foil hat. It had wire supports inside and little decorative cones all over. "And what is this for, might I ask?"  
  
"You wear it so the aliens can't take over your mind," the Jamies stated matter-of-factly.   
  
There was laughter and the professor put the hat on, much to the entertainment of his students. When they had more or less stopped laughing hysterically, he spoke again, his tone serious but his face still smiling. "Thank you very much, Jamie. Now let's see who the next present is for." He picked up a long, thin wrapped present. He read the gift tag and chuckled. "This one is for 'Stormy'." He handed it over to Ororo, who'd been standing next to him.  
  
She smiled and accepted it, throwing a cautious glare to Remy. "I have told you many times..."  
  
"I know, I know," he said from the steps. "Not t' call y' 'Stormy'. Open it already. Y're gon' need dis ALL de time."  
  
Her look changed to curious as she pulled the paper off. "Very funny, Remy," she said, lifting up the lavender umbrella for everyone to see.  
  
"I knew y'd like it." He grinned. All she could do was smile and shake her head. She looked to Xavier, still with his foil hat on.   
  
~Even we are not safe from their humor,~ The professor sent to her telepathically, inwardly laughing.  
  
~No, it appears we are not.~ Ororo sent back, equally amused.  
  
"The next present is for... Jamie." The professor looked at the tag then the pile where several Jamies were still entangled and frowned. One of the Jamies raised his hand helpfully. Kitty got up from the pile and brought it back for him.   
  
"I think you'll need these," she giggled.  
  
The one Jamie held it, but another grabbed for it. They all said in unison "I wanna open it!" They each took turns pulling at the paper until it was completely uncovered. One Jamie, which could be considered the main Jamie, held the package and opened it up. He peeked inside and reached in, pulling out three of numerous nametags, with the names "Jamie1" "Jamie2" and so on.  
  
They all looked to Kitty at the same time, creating a very "Village of the Damned" scene. Kitty barely held back from gasping. "Thank you, Kitty," they all said in unison. The main Jamie sat back down, the others plopping down around him as he handed out the tags.  
  
"Wonderful idea, Kitty. The next present is... Rahne's," the professor stated.  
  
Scott raised his hand. "That would be from me." He looked at Rahne who was in the center of the mass and then at Jean who was resting on top of him. "Unless you want me to move..." She got the hint and floated the gift over to Rahne who untied the ribbon and lifted the lid off the perfectly wrapped present. Inside was a grey and white plush wolf cub.   
  
"Aww... it's so cute! Thank ye, Scott." She hugged it tightly against her, well, as best as she could since she had Evan, who had gotten over his paranoia, and Roberto on top of her. "I think I'll name it..." She put it nose to nose with herself. "Killer." There was dead silence. "Jus' kidding. How's about 'Scottie'? I like naming things I get from people afta 'em." She smiled innocently. Scott was happy for the dedication.  
  
"Rogue," the professor said, "This one's for you." He lifted up a box, wrapped in simple black paper with a silver bow. She got up from her seat, not wanting Jean to waste her perfect little mind on lifting it to her. She walked over to the professor's chair and received the gift.  
  
"Wait!!!" Bobby came running in, snow all over his pants. "I thought I heard that Rogue was getting her present."  
  
"That's raht. Why, is it from you?" She shook it, smiling.  
  
"You bet. Go ahead." He smirked.  
  
She furrowed her eyebrows, but pulled off the paper. She pulled off the top to the box, full out expecting something to jump out at her. Nothing did, but once she got a full, clear view on it, she threw it up in the air as if something was going to bite her from inside. "You are so dead, Drake!!"  
  
The box landed on the ground, its contents spilling out. Bobby had gotten her the worst thing possible... a pink T-shirt from the Gap, with baby blue rhinestones bordering the collar. He grinned again and ran outside. Rogue was ready to go after him, but a big blue furry hand clamped on her arm, pulling her to a stop. Beast was the only one in the Institute with strength comparable to hers, and therefore the only one with a chance of stopping her from justifiable homicide.   
  
He smiled warmly. "He's not worth it. We'll get him later, okay?"  
  
She scowled at the door one more time, but then sighed. "Fine. Ah'll get that bas-"  
  
"Ahem! Rogue?" The professor said from his chair.  
  
She smiled weakly. "Raht. Ah'll get him later." She walked back to the stairs, this time taking refuge a step below Remy and hugging his legs. He didn't mind at all and started running his fingers gently through her hair. Her eyes drifted closed and she leaned her head against his thigh. "Mmm... That feels good, Rem. Don't stop," she mumbled contentedly.  
  
"The next one is for Jubilee," The professor announced. Jubilee sprang up, once again causing major discontent among those still in the pile.  
  
"Yay! Ooh, I can't wait to see what it is!" She snatched the box from him as gently as she could with her excitement and opened it up. Inside lay a pair of big, plastic pink sunglasses. "Ooooo..." she said in awe. She perched them on her nose. "These are soo cool!!" She looked around for her secret Santa.   
  
Jean had a huge grin on her face, but she was mentally saying to Scott ~I didn't think she would fall in love with them... I mean, they're pink and huge...~  
  
~She likes them. Let's leave it at that.~  
  
The professor shook his head. Sometimes he wondered if he'd ever truly understand his students. "This one is for Remy." He said, holding out the red wrapped gift. Remy looked up from where he'd been stroking Rogue's hair. She let out a small moan of disatisfaction when he stopped, but let go of him so he could get up. He too, did not wish for Princess Jean's help. Half stumbling over the pile of kids, he got an "ouch" out of one of the Jamies, now named 'Jamie4'. He smirked as he took the gift from Xavier, then he pulled off the paper and peeked inside. Questioningly, he lifted a pair of black and red fuzzy dice that are usualy hung on a car's review mirror. Rogue laughed from the stairs, getting the joke right away.  
  
"Somet'in' I missed, chere?" She pointed to Sam, who grinned at him from under his helmet.  
  
"Ah figure this is one pair o' dice ya cain't use ta cheat," he said. The other males of the team nodded their heads.  
  
"I don' cheat. Everybody knows dat."  
  
"Right, Cajun," Roberto said from on top of Rahne. "If you're not stealing whatever money you have, it's what you gain from us during those late night poker games you talk us into." He smiled, showing he was just joking along, though he WAS tired of losing money.   
  
Remy only shrugged. "Not m' fault if any o' y' can't keep a straight face."  
  
"Remy, you use your empathy on us!" Jamie2 and Jamie5 said.  
  
He chuckled and shrugged again. "Fine, fine. No more. But don' come crawlin' t' me if y' miss it." He started back to his seat, but Evan spoke up.  
  
"Wait, man. We didn't mean anything by it. We'll still play."  
  
'I know,' Remy thought sinisterly, though he only nodded on the outside. He made his way back over to the stairs and sat on the step behind Rogue. She leaned back between his spread legs, leaning her head against his shoulder as he put his arms around her waist.   
  
"Moving on..." The professor held up a blue wrapped present. "Jean, this is for you."   
  
Jean floated it over to her began pulling off the paper. Inside was a white baby tee with "Princess" written across it in pink glitter. She raised an eyebrow, then looked toward the stairs. "Rogue?"  
  
The goth girl smirked at her from her place in Remy's arms. "How'd ya guess?"  
  
"Just lucky I suppose..." ~Do you ever get the feeling they don't really like us?~ Jean privately asked Scott.  
  
~All the time. We're the ones who try to keep order... and you know how much they love rules and authority.~ Scott responded.  
  
~Yeah...~ "Thanks," she responded out loud to Rogue. "It's cute."  
  
The professor backed his chair up slightly to reach more of the gifts. "Well, since we're in that area of the room... Scott, here's your present." Jean took the liberty once again to TK it over to him.   
  
"Thank you, professor." He smiled like the protégé he was and started opening the box. He flipped the cover off and pulled out a shirt... or what he thought was a shirt. "Wow, this is... great! Who do I owe a thank you to?" He inwardly cringed at the mixture of colors on the polo shirt. Even with the ruby quartz shades, Scott knew it was ugly.  
  
Evan sat up, crushing poor Rahne under him some more. "I KNEW you would like it, man! It screamed 'Scott' to me."  
  
Scott gave out a forced laugh. "It does scream my name, doesn't it?" He smiled again and placed it back in the box.  
  
~Scott, if I ever see you wearing that-~ Jean started.  
  
~Don't worry. It's going to have a little "accident" as soon as possible.~  
  
~I always knew you were one of the intelligent ones.~  
  
"Aren't you gonna try it on?" Evan looked hurt.   
  
Scott thought quickly. "I'm going to save it for Hawaii. This shirt was definitely made for sun." Then he put the cover back on and looked - eagerly - to the professor to continue.  
  
The professor smiled and lifted the next gift. "This is addressed to Evan." Evan bounced up from the pile, causing groans from several of the people under him. He grabbed the present and shook it.  
  
"Don't shake it, Evan!" Beast told him from his place by Storm. "Some of the contents are fragile."  
  
Rogue shook her head. "Ya gave him somethin' breakable? What were ya thinkin'?"  
  
"He wasn't," Remy quipped.  
  
Evan ignored them and tore the green and red holly patterned paper off. It was a chemistry set. "Huh?"  
  
"Since you chose to skip my chemistry lessons I felt it would be sagacious to give you something you could learn them from."  
  
"Awesome!"  
  
"Okay. It's official. Beast is no longer de smart one," Remy commented to nobody in particular. Rogue nodded.   
  
Xavier heard Remy, but decided to continue on with the gift exchanging. He leaned down to grab one, finding it was heavier than the rest of the gifts. "This one is for..." He fumbled for the tag once, getting a good grip on it. "Kurt." He smiled towards the blue German.  
  
Kurt grinned and bamfed out from underneath Amara and Sam, causing them to fall, of course. He appeared again by the professor's side and graciously accepted the gift, also curious about the weight. He pulled the royal blue paper off and opened the box. Everyone watched as his eyes widened with confusion as he lifted out a doorknob. He held it up, "I'm sorry if I'm a little confused..."  
  
"Read the note, elf," Amara giggled from the pile.  
  
He looked at the knob again, seeing a tiny string with a note card attached. He peeked inside that, finding the words "It's a doorknob. Use it," inscribed in perfect cursive, signed with a fancy 'A'.   
  
"Danke, Amara. Zis isn't about ze time I accidentally 'ported into your room while you were changing... is it?"  
  
She smiled smugly. "Whatever gave you that idea?" He smiled back and returned to the pile to get comfy once again.  
  
The professor bent to pick up the next gift. It was wrapped in plain brown paper and had "Ray" scrawled across it in black marker. "Ray, this is for you from Logan."  
  
Ray's eyebrows shot up and he looked surprised. Everyone else had similar expressions. "And how did you get HIM in on this?" he asked.  
  
"Don't ask, don't tell. I believe that's the saying, is it not?" There was silence as everyone pondered the professor's words. Their were several disturbed looks among them as some of the worst senarios ran through their minds. "Oh, for the love of- It's not anything as bad as what you're thinking."  
  
"Hey, what happened to privacy?" Jubilee protested, not liking the thought of the professor knowing her misdeeds and various little secrets.  
  
"I didn't have to read your mind. The way you were staring at me showed clear as plate glass the type of things you were imagining. So stop it. Ray here's you gift." He tossed the paper bag with ease, and Ray caught it just as easily. He gave it a skeptical look. "Should I be afraid of what's in here?"  
  
Jubilee giggled from the other end of the pile. "It's from Wolvie. What's there to be afraid of?" Everyone able to give her a 'yeah, right' glare from their position did. "You guys are just wimps. Open it, I wanna see what he got ya."  
  
Ray just shrugged, not expecting anything extravagant, or even thoughtful, from the Wolverine. He ripped the top of the bag off and dumped the contents into his hands. Everyone straightened up to get a better look. "It's a string." He said simply.  
  
Jamie giggled. "It's not just a string... it's a fuse!" His counterparts laughed along with him.  
  
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Ray said, glaring at the five laughing boys.  
  
"I think he just answered his own question," Jubilee whispered to Kurt. He nodded in total agreement.  
  
Rogue snickered from the stairs and Ray scowled at her, lighting-like energy jumping around his clenched fists "It's not funny. Stop laughing or-"  
  
"O' what? Ah'm invulnerable, hotshot. Remember?" she teased. He narrowed his eyes at her then sank back into the pile, sulking. Several of the girls made fake sympathetic noises and patted his head which didn't exactly help. He swatted at them irritatedly and they giggled.  
  
"You really should learn to control your temper, Ray," the professor admonished, reaching for the next gift. He lifted it up, reading the tag. "Does anyone want to go outside and get Bobby?"  
  
Rogue instantly volunteered, standing up. "Yah, Ah'm foh that." She grinned, her eyes full of revenge in the making.  
  
"Umm... Hank, why don't you just go get him instead." Rogue shot Xavier a look that should have been able to kill and took her seat again. Hank uneasily backed away from the base of the steps where he was standing and went outside. After a minute of eerie silence from everyone, Bobby walked back in with Hank blushing as much as someone with blue fur could.   
  
The professor smiled upon their return. He raised the ice blue package gift up so Bobby could see. "This is for you."  
  
"I'm sure it will be..." He paused briefly and grinned. "cool." Everyone groaned at the pun.  
  
"Oh, come on. Who are you now? Lance?" Kurt said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Hey!" Kitty cried indignantly, reaching over and smacking him. "No dissing my boyfriend!" All eyes were immediately on her. "Oops. Did I say that out loud?"  
  
"Yes! And I want details later, girl!" Jubilee told her.  
  
"Why don't I, like, just tell everyone now and save you the trouble?" There was laughter from everyone except Jubilee who pouted.  
  
Bobby ripped open the paper and found an icecube tray. "Ooh. Funny. Who was the genius who thought this one up?" Roberto raised a hand, snickering.  
  
"Hey, c'mon, you know you love it."  
  
Bobby laughed, mainly to himself. He grazed his hands over the tray, filling it up. "You know... this wasn't too bad a gift... I've always had trouble forming perfect cubes."  
  
"Glad I could help." Roberto glanced to Amara, thinking the next gift was going to be exchanged. She bit her lip from laughing.  
  
With Roberto distracted, Bobby cracked his freshly made cubes out of the tray and rushed over before the young Sunspot could think twice. The icecubes made it down his sweatshirt and he jumped up in attempt to evade the cold. In the midst of doing so, he stepped on Scottie, and Rahne squealed as if she had been stepped on herself. "Nay!" She grabbed the poor wolf to her chest and glared more coldly than anyone has ever seen her.  
  
Icecubes forgotten, Roberto stopped jumping about. The icecubes slid out and landed next to Evan. Sam, coming to the rescue as best he could with the helmet STILL on, slid over next to Rahne. "Apologize," he said sternly.  
  
"To the wolf?" Sam nodded, Rahne looking close to tears. Roberto sighed, but knelt down so he was face level with Rahne and her small wolf. She all but shoved the plush in his face. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Now kiss him. Make him feel all better." She smiled sweetly. Roberto shook his head slightly at what he was willing to do for women but complied.   
  
He turned then to the still laughing Bobby. "Laugh now because you won't be doing it later, Drake," he promised, a slightly malevolent glint in his eye.  
  
"Later. I have to put the finishing touches on my present." He grinned and vanished out the door.  
  
The professor wondered how he'd lost control of the situation once again, but decided that passing out the rest of the gifts was the wisest course since they tended to be relatively calm when occupied. He pulled his own gift out in front. "Ahem!" The students turned toward him. "The next present is for Amara from myself."  
  
She smiled proudly, she was the one who had the person she respected most in the household as her Secret Santa. She stood up, and took the golden wrapped gift. It was slighly heavy, but nothing she couldn't handle. She ripped off the paper and smiled.  
  
"A fire estinguisher?" She sounded surprised, but her smile didn't fade.  
  
"I can't be the only one without a sense of humor in this, can I?"  
  
"I guess not. This'll come in handy. You might actually want to invest in a couple more of these..." She giggled and sat back down, laying comfortably across Kurt and three of the Jamies.   
  
The professor picked up the next gift. It was small and wrapped in orange and yellow paper with sunbursts on it. "Roberto, this is yours."  
  
"Toss it over?"  
  
The professor threw it, but this time the arc was a little wide. Kurt snagged it with his tail and handed it to Roberto, who nodded his thanks and tore it open. It was a bottle of sunblock. He laughed.  
  
"Just because of your mutation involves absorbing power from the sun does NOT mean you cannot become burned," Ororo said, the smile playing around her lips showing that she'd bought it as a joke despite the explaination.  
  
"Thanks," he smiled. "You're right though. I do get sunburned occasionally."  
  
And, last but not least, this is for you, Hank," Xavier said, handing a red box over to him. He accepted it, wondering who hadn't given their gift yet. His eyes fell on Rahne who have huge grin on her face.  
  
"G'head. Open it, Mr. McCoy."  
  
He smiled widely as well and pulled off the cover. Inside the neatly wrapped tissue paper, was a black t-shirt. He held it up so everyone could see, including himself. The words 'Huked on Fonics werked 4 me' were written in a messy white lettering. He grinned. "Thank you, Rahne."  
  
"There's more! Look in the box."  
  
He glanced at her quizzically, but peeked in the box again. His hand pulled out heavy-duty hair gel. On the bottle it read 'for those really bad hair days.' "Thank you, Rahne," he repeated. "This has to be the best gift I've received in a long time." He bent down to give the girl a hug.  
  
"Now why don't we open the rest of-" the professor started.   
  
He was cut off as Bobby ran in, snow flying off his clothes. "My present's done, everyone!" he crowed, wearing a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin. Everyone in the pile glanced at each other, shrugged, and untangled themselves. Rogue got up and pulled Remy to his feet. "Alright, let's see what Popcicle's done NOW..." he said with a resigned sigh.  
  
Beast shook his head and buried his face in his hands, muttering, "I can't look."  
  
Rogue stomped outside ahead of everyone and her eyes opened in shock. "Oh mah gawd, Ah cain't believe this..." she whispered to Remy who had just caught up.  
  
"Hey, Bobby's an artist. Didn' know he had it in him." He nodded to Bobby. "Good work." Rogue punched him in the stomach. Remy cringed a tiny bit from the blow.  
  
"How can you say that?! This is so degradin' ta us!"  
  
"What's so-" Jubilee started before she got a glimpse of Bobby's special present. "Drake, you're in for it now."  
  
He pouted. "You mean you don't like it? I wake up at 4:30 in the morning to start on these things and you don't even appreciate them."  
  
Roberto raised his hand. "I do." He grinned at the life size ice sculptures of the X-Girls... naked. "This is art! And Bobby did spend a lot of time on them."  
  
Rahne and Amara only glared at him with their hands on their hips. Jubilee though, went up to examine the one of her. "Bobby... how did you know about this mole?" She pointed to an area on the left side of her stomach.  
  
Rogue moved closer to them to check out hers as well. "These ARE really close ta the exact thing..." she muttered coldly.  
  
He laughed nervously. "I don't know what your talking about. I improvised! I swear!"  
  
Some of the attached males of the of the team were beginning to notice the same thing that the girls had now that their initial lust faded. Posessiveness was beginning to set in. They too were in the position to know there was an uncanny similarity in the statues to the real thing and they didn't like what was THEIRS being put on display.  
  
Sam, who never really agreed with the display of the girls like this, came up next to Rahne. She had the mix of a pout and a glare apparent on her face and she looked to Sam to do something. ANYTHING. "Bobby... Umm, Ah think ya should take 'em down."  
  
The other guys on the team added to the helmethead's lead. "Yeah, it was funny at first, but I don't think I'm comfortable with it anymore," Scott said from behind Jean.  
  
Bobby turned to scowl at him. "Twelve hours ago you wouldn't have given two shits what I did about Jean." A small cough came from the professor and Hank. Bobby just shrugged, now angry with his male teammates. "Fine, you don't want them up, they're coming down." With a quick blast of ice down the line, he knocked all the torsos off the ice sculptures. "Merry Christmas." Then he stomped inside. Then, almost as an afterthought he stuck his head back out the door and shouted "Traitors! Traitors to your gender!! You should be ashamed of yourselves!" before ducking inside again.  
  
Rogue looked toward the doors. "Oh, yes, he's gotta PAY..."  
  
Jubilee turned to other girls who were looking equally murderous. "Come, on, he didn't mean anything by it. It was all in fun. Now you've hurt his feelings."   
  
Rogue's expression froze before turning sorrowful. "Ya're right, Jubes. You should go after him. Tell him we're sorry foh yellin' at him, k?"  
  
"K." Jubilee smiled and ran toward the mansion, not seeing the look of evil joy covering Rogue's face as she faced the other girls.  
  
"I think Bobby needs a lesson in respectin' people's privacy. An' since Jubes can't keep a secret except from authority figures an' has a soft spot for Bobby anyway..." She trailed off. The other females nodded, also beginning to smile wickedly.  
  
The adults of the team were standing on the sidelines. Beast turned toward the Professor. "Aren't you going to stop them?"  
  
"No. Bobby knows what he did was wrong and whatever they plan on doing to him is surely worse than anything I could think up." He answered.  
  
Storm, having actually been a teenage girl once, nodded. "You have no idea."  
  
TBC... 


	5. Revenge and Poker

Jubilee caught Bobby on his way up the steps. "Bobby! Hey, they're all sorry. Really. They didn't realize how much it meant to you."  
  
He turned to face her, a grin wide on his face. "It's cool. I know they all liked it."  
  
"You mean the guys, right?" She caught up with him and they continued walking up the steps.  
  
"'Course. I saw the look in their eyes. They wish they could do that too." Jubilee just smiled and shook her head, not at all surprised with his arrogance. Behind them, Kitty phased Amara through the wall while Rogue with a touch of Kitty's powers brought in Rahne. The Scottish girl kept her giggles quiet as she watched Amara, with one fell swoop, pull Jubilee back from Bobby while Rogue touched the back of his neck. When she'd held on for almost five seconds, Bobby fell limp to the floor.  
  
"Okay, gals," Rogue said turning to them, her fists now clear as ice. "Now begins our revenge." Her expression was mirrored all the smirks of the girls, except for Jubilee.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Amara snickered from behind as she let go of Jubilee. "You didn't actually think we were letting him get away with this, do you?"  
  
Rogue stepped up to her, the unofficial leader. She pointed an icy finger in the sparkler's face. "Keep quiet about this. If you can keep yoah mouth shut while we do this, you won't end up like him. Got it?" Jubilee nodded, fear creeping into her eyes. She had never heard Rogue so venomous toward her. Rogue saw this, happy with the results. A smile appeared on her face and she turned towards the other girls. "All raht, who's carryin' the body?"  
  
"I will," Jean said, appearing from up the steps. The other girls looked to her suspiciously. "What? You act like I wasn't made into an ice sculpture too."  
  
Rogue scowled, but Kitty spoke up. "She's got a point. And her powers'll come in handy. C'mon." Rogue relented, nodding.   
  
"Let's go then. We're runnin' outta time."  
  
"Where are we going do this?" Amara asked.  
  
"Bobby's room. We can go through all his personal things at the same time," Rahne suggested cheerfully.  
  
"Remind me not to piss you off..." Jubilee muttered quietly.  
  
They walked down the hall into Bobby's room, wrinkling their noses at the mess. It looked like a bomb had exploded. "Okay, Jean, put him on the bed," Rogue said. Jean floated him over the mattress and dropped him none to gently. "Who has lots of make-up?"   
  
Amara raised her hand. "I'll go get it," she volunteered and left.  
  
"Anybody have any really trashy, slutty clothes?" Everyone looked at Jubilee.  
  
"They're NOT slutty. Besides they're for dancing. You gotta show a lot of skin and still be able to move."  
  
"Get them," Rogue ordered. Jubilee nodded and went to do so. "A camera?"  
  
"Ooh! I do! Plus it's digital and I have extra floppy disks!" Kitty told them, running through the wall to retrieve it.  
  
"Okay, Rahne, since your eyes may be too virgin foh what's gonna happen next, you can start lookin' through his stuff." Rahne narrowed her eyes at the statement that she was too pure, but obliged and turned to go through the closet. Then Rogue turned to Jean. "Ya sure ya're up ta this?"  
  
"Definitely." Jean smirked.  
  
Rogue didn't like the feeling, but somehow she felt on the same level with the redhead. "All raht, then. First we need ta..." She motioned to the still body of Bobby."...get rid of those clothes..."  
  
"All?" Jean gulped.  
  
Rogue nodded. "Ah'm not too thrilled about it either, but it hasta be done." She leaned over on the bed and tugged at his shirt. Jean helped by raising him off the mattress so the shirt could be pulled over his head. Same with his jeans. Rogue choked back a giggle. "Spider-Man underwear?!"  
  
Kitty ran through the wall with her camera case in hand, and stopped short in front of the bed, wide-eyed gaze focused on the bed. "Oh my God! I can't believe he wears those!"  
  
"Neither could we," Jean told her.  
  
Jubilee was next one to come in and was carrying a bunch of clothes in her arms. "I brought a bunch 'cause I didn't know which ones you'd want."  
  
"You got underwear too, raht?" Rogue asked. The other girl nodded. "Good. Okay, who does the honors?" They all looked at each other, none of them wanting to do it. "Ah got it! Jean ya don't have ta be lookin' at somethin' ta use yoah telekinesis, raht?"  
  
Jean shivered, but nodded. "Yeah. It sort of works that way."  
  
Rogue smiled. 'Maybe Ah'll get some Jean torture in after all.' "Would ya mind? This way none o' us have to look. An' anyway, Ah really don't wanna catch mahself comparin'... If Ah laugh too much Ah might wake him up." Her smile turned brighter.   
  
The others caught her drift and giggled. "Told ya Remy had to have a nice package," Jubilee whispered to Kitty. Kitty just shook her head, a smirk present.  
  
Amara made her way back in, her arms overflowing with make-up. "I hope this is enough," she panted. Then she caught sight of Bobby in his underweared glory and dropped some of her compacts. "Spider-Man? Ahh, Kit, get a picture of that!"  
  
Kitty snapped a picture and laughed. Rahne actually turned around to see what everyone was laughing so hard about. She put a hand to her mouth and gasped. "I didna think anyone over the age of eight wore those things!"  
  
"That's the best part. But now... it's comin' off," Rogue looked to Jean. "Whenever you're ready."  
  
Jean paled but nodded. Everyone turned away and there was the rustle of clothing. "Done." Jean announced. They turned back to find Bobby wearing electric blue satin women's panties. They all snickered. Jean looked kinda disgusted. "If I never have to do anything like that again it will be too soon."   
  
Rogue nodded, almost feeling sympathy for the redhead. Almost. "Alright, Jubes what do ya got?" Jubilee dropped the clothes. "What do ya think?"  
  
"The red vinal micromini," Kitty said firmly.  
  
Rogue imagined it in her head. It was too disturbing to pass up. "All raht. Jean, you take a rest an' we'll do this. I don't know if we'll need ya again later foh somethin' else like this."  
  
"Terrific," she muttered as she sat down on the floor. "How about Amara and I go through the makeup?"  
  
The gothic girl nodded, picking up the outfit. "Kitty, help Rahne find something juicy ta add to the pictures. Jubes, you're with me, considerin' you're the one who owns this..." She halted and eyed it curiously. "Hell, you can put it on. Ah don't even know where to start."  
  
Jubilee hmphed and snatched it away from her. She gained a glare from Rogue, but put the ensemble on her friend. It didn't fit right at all, but it was one of the funniest things any of them had ever seen. Kitty took several pictures. "It's for a flow chart I'm going to make. You know, like, step one, step two?" The other girls nodded in complete agreement.  
  
Amara glanced up from the floor. "Now, do we want him to have the natural look," she started, holding up a powder compact. "Or," she grinned holding up blue eyeshadow, "Do we want a Mimi ala The Drew Carey Show?"  
  
"Mimi!" they all chorused, laughing. Amara went to work. Fire engine red lipstick, sky blue eyeshadow, rose blush, fake sparkly gold eyelashes, and purple press on nails, combined with the clothes make him look like a cheap hooker/transvestite.  
  
"That is possibly the most disturbin' thing Ah have ever seen in mah life," Rogue commented. "Kitty, get lots o' pictures." The freshman nodded and snapped away.  
  
"Hey! Look what I found!" Rahne squealed excitedly as she backed out of the closet on her hands and knees, shaking dust from her hair.  
  
"Fungus?" Jubilee asked.  
  
"Better!" She dragged out several rare holiday Barbies still in the packaging, Care Bear tapes, and Disney soundtracks. Everyone began giggling hysterically.   
  
When they had calmed down a bit Rogue raised and eyebrow and adressed the unconscious boy in a deadpan tone of voice. "Ya know, Drake, looking at all this Ah'm beginnin' ta think this is good look foh ya." Of course that just set them off again, worse than before, until they couldn't breathe and tears were streaming down their faces.  
  
In all their hysterics, they didn't notice their victim beginning to stir. Jean heard a tiny moan and held her finger up to her lips. They all stared wide eyed at Bobby. "Somebody do something!" Rahne whispered loudly.  
  
Rogue reached for her glove, but Jean held her hand up. She concentrated momentarily and then her forehead relaxed. "I just bought us another 15 minutes. What are we going to do now?"  
  
Everyone looked to Rogue. She tilted her head in thought. "We obviously need ta ditch him somewhere, any suggestions?"  
  
"Rec room," Amara and Kitty said in unison, the latter busy snapping pictures of the Bobby's collection.  
  
Jubilee's nose wrinkled. "I really am starting to feel this is going too far..."  
  
Rogue wasn't ready to accept that for an answer. She looked straight into the younger girl's eyes. "Ya're in too deep now. Ya back out, an' ya'll join him. An' believe me, Ah can think o' some pretty bad things ta do with two unconscious bodies. Male an' female, mind you." She smirked.   
  
Jubilee only nodded, gulping internally. "Heh, rec room it is!"  
  
"Hey, anybody have four scarves they don't mind getting ruined?" Kitty spoke up suddenly.  
  
Amara nodded. "Oh, yeah, I have tons. Go on and I'll catch up with you in a minute."  
  
"I'm almost afraid to ask what those are for," Rahne said with a disturbed look.  
  
"You'll see," Kitty giggled.  
  
"Jean?" Rogue asked with a lifted eyebrow.  
  
"On it." She lifted Bobby telekinetically and they all followed her to the rec room where they deposited him on the pool table and tied his wrists and ankles to the posts with the scaves.  
  
  
  
The guys, meanwhile, had been sitting around a poker table in Scott's room, his being the cleanest. Remy was dealing. Each of the other players had shuffled the deck that THEY had provided and were watching him like a hawk, but he still managed to palm a couple of good cards.  
  
Evan glanced at one one the walls, apprehensively, hearing female laughter. "Don't you think we should help him?" Everyone looked at him in disbelief. Remy snuck another good card while they were distracted, smiling innocently when Scott looked back at him with suspicion that was apparent even through his shades.  
  
"If ya wanna be next then go ahead," Sam, said, slightly incredulous at the stupidity of the suggestion. Evan paled slightly and shook his head negativly.  
  
"What do you think they're doing to him?" Ray wondered morbidly.  
  
"I'm not sure I want to know," Kurt muttered, tail twitching, as he looked back at his cards.  
  
"Ah grew up in a house full o' women. They can be horribly creative when they're mad. We could guess all night an' not come close. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned an' all that," Sam told them, eyes on Remy's hands as he delt.  
  
"They're girls. They're always mad," Jamie said grinning. "Get it? Like insane?" Sam laughed and ruffled his hair affectionately.  
  
"I know you're cheating, Cajun," Roberto frowned.  
  
"Moi?" Remy put on a hurt look. "Would I do dat?"   
  
"YES!" Everyone at the table said in unison.  
  
"Look, if it'll make y' feel bet'er I'll even switch hands with y'," he offered generously, with a grin. Roberto considered for a moment before shaking his head, certain that if Remy had actually offered to switch hands with him it was the LAST thing he should do.  
  
'Ah, so young, so naïve,' Remy thought with inward laughter as Roberto fell for his ploy. 'I feel almost guilty takin' deir money. Almost.'  
  
They played for a bit in silence, with Remy winning most of the hands, but not enough so that that they could accuse him of cheating again. There was suddenly the sound of hysterical laughter from several rooms away.  
  
"That cannot be good," Scott mumbled.  
  
"Let's have a moment of silence for our poor friend, Bobby," Ray said with a mock solemn look.  
  
"Alas, I knew him well," Kurt added, the same look on his face.  
  
"Even if he never was very bright," Sam finished. They all cracked up.  
  
  
  
Rogue stood by him, scratching her chin in thought as Kitty took still more pictures. "Ah'm thinkin' one o' the tapes has ta been playin'... or one of the CD's... Ah cain't believe he actually has that stuff."  
  
Rahne looked offended. "I'm not the only one who still watches Disney movies am I?"  
  
Jubilee wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, the guy from Mulan was hot. No doubt about that." Rahne smiled.  
  
"What de hell?" All the girls whipped around to see Remy gawking at the sight of Bobby strapped to the table... in women's clothing no less.   
  
Rogue ran up ta him and turned him around so he couldn't get a better look. "Remy, um... what're ya doin' down here? Aren't ya supposed ta be playin' with the boys?"  
  
He frowned at her, attempting to turn his head to get a peek, but Rogue cupped his face tight with her gloved hands. "I figured I'd let dem count how much money dey have left, so I came down f'r a drink."   
  
"Kit, get Remy a soda," she ordered. If she let him go he would see everything. Kitty nodded and rushed out, taking the easy way of course.  
  
"Chere, what's gon' happen when he wakes up?" He gazed deeply into her eyes.  
  
"That's the fun part. An' don't try puttin' anythin' in mah head. One, ya're not findin' out anythin' from me. Two, ya can't even begin ta get inta mah head."  
  
He smirked. "Who said anyt'in' 'bout suggestin' somet'in'?" Kitty then came running back in, can of Coke in her hand.   
  
"Here!" she breathed, trying to catch her breath. She handed it to him, and then walked over to the couch to lie down.  
  
"Now, ya're gonna be a good li'l Swamp Rat an' go upstairs an' act like ya didn't see a thing. Raht?"  
  
"Rogue, I can' believe y' wouldn' trust me wit' dis! I'm so offended right now!" He mock pouted, making Rogue slightly weak in the knees.  
  
She shook herself out of her personal trance and grinned. "Go, befoh Ah change mah mind an' you join him." His eyes widened and he was out, quick as a flash.  
  
"You're not going to punish him? He didn't even stick up for you!" Amara protested, hands on her hips.  
  
"Oh, Ah'm gonna punish him, just not yet. Ah have my ways..." Rogue smiled secretively.  
  
Rahne smiled dreamily. "Sam stuck up for me..."  
  
Kitty giggled. "Oh, yeah. 'Just friends.' Riiiight." Rahne swatted at her playfully.  
  
Jean leaned against the side of the table. "I should thank you guys. Like Bobby said, Scott probably wouldn't have said a thing if last night didn't happen."  
  
Rogue's curiosity got the best of her. "You guys didn't fuck raht off did ya?"  
  
She looked at her as if she had asked her to strip and sing 'I'm a Little Teapot.' "Of course not!"  
  
She let out a relieved sigh. "Good. The nightmares'll stay away foh a li'l longer then."  
  
"Seriously, what problem do you have with me and Scott? You tell us to... do it, then you're relieved to hear we haven't."  
  
"Let's just say, Ah don't want any competition in the physical stance of relationships in this house. Ya know how hard it is ta get off without bein' able ta touch someone? Damn near impossible."  
  
"But you obviously have ways," Jubilee piped up.  
  
"'Course. Remy's a veeeerrry creative guy. Anyway, if you go start havin' sex, not only will Ah have images plaguing me every night, Ah- Ah dunno, it'll just be weird. Besides Ah like the idea of bein' the only one with guts ta do somethin' here, no offense ta y'all o' course." She smiled at the other girls. They only pouted with jealousy.  
  
Bobby moaned and began to stir. "Well, look who's up. It's sleeping beauty," Kitty said, laughing.  
  
"Wha?" As he became more and more aware of his surrounding he realized something was terribly wrong. He tried moving any part of his body, but with no success. "Where the hell am I?"  
  
Rogue hovered over him and laughed. "Ya know, this is SUCH a good color on ya." Her fingers grazed over his lips seductively.   
  
His eyes bulged out of their sockets when she pulled away and saw red on her black gloves. In his eyes, he could see gold... only gold... He could only assume the girls had done something horrible. Oh so horrible.   
  
In the corner of his eye, he saw Jubilee backing away from him. "You! You helped them do this?! Why?" He cried out in over-dramatized agony.  
  
She pointed at the still air-born Rogue. "She made me do it! Or I would have been on top of you! That girl is twisted!"  
  
Rogue grinned. "Thank you. An' just so ya know, that nice piece of clothin' ya're wearin' is from Jubie-Jubes' personal collection." Bobby tipped his head down and saw the shiny red. He shivered involuntarily.   
  
Then he noticed Jean. "Jean! You're supposed to be the responsible one!"  
  
"What? You thought I wouldn't get you back?"  
  
"Yes!" There was evil laughter from all of the girls.  
  
Kitty walked up next to him and tapped a finger against his nose, smiling. "Did we mention we have pictures?"  
  
"Noooooooo!!!" he wailed.  
  
"For posterity... and insurance."  
  
"Oh, yes, an' we know ALL about yoah li'l... how shall we say... vices..." Rogue said, smirking.  
  
"Oh, God... This can't be happening to me..." he moaned. "It's all a horrible nightmare I'm going to wake up from. Yes, that's it." They all were standing around him, each girl with a demonic smile upon her usually calm features. Bobby just kept his eyes closed, attempting to wake up. He had to be dreaming, right?   
  
Just then, Hank walked by, empty coffee mug in hand. "Hello, girls, Bobby," he greeted, and kept on walking as if he hadn't seen a thing. It occurred to him what he actually DID see when he reached the kitchen. He could only shake his head and crave the coffee he had originally been craving. 'I'm going to go back there, and see the girls playing a nice, friendly game of pool, while Bobby is wearing men's clothing. Yes. I shall convince myself of that now.'  
  
Unfortunately, when he walked through the rec room again, saw the same scene that had been there only moments before. He didn't bother stop walking though. Any attempt to change the girls' minds about whatever they had planned for the resident icecube would be futile. He heard pleas for help behind him but shook his head and ignored them, making a mental note not to anger the girls any time soon.  
  
"Beast! Buddy! Pal! HELP!!! HELP ME!!!! PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY!!!"   
  
  
  
Upstairs Jamie, who was still playing poker against his better judgement, cocked his head to the side. "Did you hear that?"  
  
"What?" Scott asked.  
  
Jamie listened again. "It sounds like someone screaming for help."  
  
"Well, why don't you go check it out? We'll know it was the girls torturing Bobby and that they got you too if you don't come back," Ray told him with a smirk.  
  
"Screams? I didn't hear any screams. Did you?"  
  
"Nein."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"No way, man."  
  
"Non."  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
Rogue tapped Bobby lightly on the cheek, which was to say it had the strength of a normal person's slap. "Oww.."  
  
"Oh, quit whinin'. So ya're dressed in drag an' tied ta a pool table. Well, now that Ah think about it... that's not exactly a good thing ta be. Oh, well. Ya shoulda thought o' that before ya made perverted ice scupltures o' us."  
  
"They weren't perverted! They were art!" He realized his mistake as they all gave him identical looks of sardonic amusement. "Oh, shit..." 'Me and my big mouth,' he thought in disgust. "What do I have to do to make it up to you girls?"  
  
"Hey, Jean," Rogue turned to the her. "Patch us all sans Bobby in a telecommunic thing."  
  
~Sure. Should we be so forgiving?~  
  
~I think he's learned his lesson you guys.~  
  
~Shut up, Jubes. Of course he's learned his lesson, but this way, ALL the guys'll never mess with any of us again.~ Amara mentally laughed.  
  
~We can't throw anymore chores on him. And that's just not enough anyway.~ Kitty pointed out.   
  
~Is anyone up foh some more public humiliation? Say... we get COMPLETELY even.~ Rogue smirked evilly. She relayed her thoughts to everyone, and all the girls nodded. Rogue stripped off her glove.  
  
"What are you doing with that?!"  
  
"Ah'm gonna pick yoah nose. What do ya think Ah'm doin'? Give me some juice, Popcicle." She lowered her hand to his cheek, once again taking his powers. Bobby passed out. The girls left him there and made their way outside. First they blasted the remaining parts of the other ice sculptures with their various powers. Then Rogue started to work with helpful suggestions on all sides. In a fairly short time she'd finished and stood back to admire her work.  
  
"Well, what do y'all think?" Rogue asked, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips.  
  
"It's great!" Amara said.  
  
"Totally him!" Kitty agreed, using the final few shots on her disk to immortalize the moment.  
  
"I'm no' sure I should be seeing this..." Rahne muttered, averting her eyes.  
  
"He did the same thing to us. This is justice," Jean pointed out logically.  
  
TBC... 


	6. Rescue Missions and Girls Gone Bad

Ray all but pushed Jamie towards the steps. "C'mon. I can't hear them giggling anymore. Just go see if they've left."  
  
Jamie turned to glare at him. "Push me any harder and you'll have to deal with twenty more of me. Hold ON!" Little Jamie wasn't taking any chances with the girls running rabid on poor Bobby.  
  
"You, guys, cool it," Scott said from behind. "We don't need to let them know we're coming if they're still at it." He turned to Kurt, who was behind him next in the make-shift single file line the boys had made. "'Port down there and see if they're anywhere in that area of the mansion."  
  
Kurt nodded and popped out. A second later, he was back, with a look of pure terror on his face. Evan and Roberto caught him as his knees buckled, and, looking as if he might faint any second, gasped out. "Those girls... zey're monsters!"  
  
Remy came over and slapped his face, keeping the blue-furred mutant alert. "Mon ami, what happened?!" He remembered what little he'd seen of Bobby, and he knew it wasn't good.  
  
"Bobby... women's clothing... 'Whole New World' playing on stereo..." He looked to Scott accusingly. "You made me go zere alone!"  
  
"Hey, you were the only one with even a slight chance of escape if the girls WERE there," Scott justified his orders.  
  
"SLIGHT CHANCE?!?!"  
  
Their fearless leader shrugged and managed to look a bit sheepish. "Er... sorry."  
  
"So are we gonna rescue him or not?" Roberto questioned.  
  
"Ya're SURE the girls were gone, raht?" Kurt nodded at Sam, still looking somewhat out of it.  
  
Scott took the head of the pack. "All right then, team. Let's go!" He headed down the steps. The others just stood there, shaking their heads.  
  
"Dat guy's trip'in' on power waaay too much. How 'bout... we go down at a nice pace an' hope de girls don' see us 'long de way?" Remy suggested a bit cowardly, but with the right reasons.  
  
Everyone just nodded enthusiastically with that idea. Everyone except Kurt that is. He just hung there limply. "Don't make me go back down zere. Please," he begged.  
  
Remy just sighed. "We can't leave y' up here, elf. It's gon' take most o' us t' save him an' if we leave y' up here, y're open f' attack." 'Merde,' he thought. 'Since when did dis turn int' a search an' rescue mission like in de Danger Room?'  
  
Kurt looked away for a moment, and then brought his eyes back up to face the rest of the team. "Alright. I'm in." They got him up and cautiously made their way down the long flight of steps. Scott was waiting for them at the base. He snorted through his nose at their sluggishness but started walking steadily again, checking for them behind him every once in a while.  
  
They heard some explosion and then ice crinkling outside. After a triumphant laugh from what sounded like Rogue, they quickened their pace. All breathed a sigh of relief at getting out of the open. Then they reluctantly headed into the rec room where Bobby was just coming to.  
  
"Guys! Ya gotta save me!! They're evil!!!" His eyes darted around suspiciously. "You weren't followed, were you?"   
  
Kurt shook his head, keeping watch at the door for the first sign of danger.  
  
"Geez, man. What did they DO to you?" Evan asked as he started on the scarves around Bobby's wrists. Scott got the ones at his feet.  
  
"F'get dat. Wha' de hell're y' wearin'?!" Remy's crimson eyes widened in disbelief at the bright red vinyl donning Bobby's strapped down body. He didn't know whether to have pity on the poor guy or to burst out laughing at what had happened to him.  
  
Bobby's lip trembled. "I don't know. This is all too weird. I need to disappear. Yeah! That's it!" he cried out hysterically. He shifted into his ice form unknowingly and froze the pool table. Evan and Scott backed away nervously and shared a look.  
  
"Easy, dude," Scott said, taking a step towards him. "Just let it go. They've gotten their revenge... tomorrow this'll all be a sweet memory and life can go on."  
  
Bobby's eyes opened even further. "You don't know them first hand! Rogue's got my powers now and I don't even wanna KNOW what's she doing! They put me in this, found my secret stash of stuff-"  
  
Roberto laughed from the floor where he was checking out the aforementioned objects. "This stuff?" He picked up one of the Barbie dolls.  
  
"It's my sister's!"  
  
"You don't HAVE a sister."  
  
"Uh... uh... I meant my candy stash! They put those there to frame me!!!"  
  
Remy raised an eyebrow. "Y' sure 'bout dat? Y' always did seem a lit'le fruity t' me."  
  
Bobby rolled his eyes, fear momentarily leaving him. "Oh, right. This coming from you, Mr. My-girlfriend-has-shorter-hair-than-I-do."  
  
The young thief's eyes narrowed. "Y' know, I'm t'inkin' maybe we should jus' leave y' here..."   
  
"NO! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! I'M SORRY!!! YOU'RE NOT GAY!!!"  
  
"Shhh!!" everyone hissed at him.  
  
"Do ya want the girls ta come back?!" Sam demanded, eyes flicking nervously toward the door. Bobby's only answer was a whimper and more ice added to his armor.  
  
"Stop that," Roberto growled. "Ice down or we can't untie you." The layers of ice gradually faded away, leaving a pale, shaking boy in women's clothing. They undid his bonds, Evan and Jamie draping his arms over their shoulders to support him.  
  
They peeked out of the door, finding the coast clear, and began sneaking up the stairs.  
  
"Goin' somewhere, boys?" Rogue asked from behind them.  
  
They all froze. Bobby did so literally out of fear. One by one, starting with the suddenly courageous Jamie, they turned their heads to see all six girls behind them. All six were standing there, weight on one hip, a hand resting there almost casually. The entire posture screamed of utter confidence and potential violence. It was uncanny how they could all have the same expression on their faces and the same body language. Even Rahne had the glare going. Rogue seemed to be the ringleader of the group, which didn't make Remy feel any better.  
  
"What do you think you're doing with him?" Amara asked, her voice tinged with a sarcastic sweetness.  
  
"Yeah, we weren't finished playing yet..." Kitty pouted.  
  
Scott choked back a gulp, so Remy, being the most suave anyway, tried his luck at calming them down. "We're jus' takin' him back upstairs... hopin' t' put a li'l sanity back in his head. We t'ought y' were done wit' him."  
  
As was almost expected, all the girls' eyes narrowed even further, if possible, with the exception of Jubilee. She finally saw Bobby quivering and softened her expression. Luckily for her, she was in back of everyone so none of the girls saw her take her hand off her hip.   
  
Rogue spoke. "Let him go up on his own. Any o' ya'll helpin' him up are next."  
  
Kurt's breathing stopped at the comment made by his sister. "No way!" He bamfed out of sight, leaving the boys to fend for themselves.  
  
"Phfff," Evan said in a whisper to Ray. "Some help he was."  
  
"Well? Are you leaving him or what?" Jean snapped, mainly glaring at Scott.   
  
Rogue glanced to Jean amused. 'Who knew that Jean's hold ovah Scott would actually come in handy?'  
  
"Jean..." Scott started, attempting to keep his voice from shaking. "We can't leave him. It would be betray to our friendship to him and-"  
  
"And WHO have you known LONGER?"   
  
'Dammit, I won't let her own me.' "Sorry, Jean."  
  
Jean's expression softened, but mentally she was wearing a wide grin. She sauntered up to him, causing Roberto and Sam to trip over the stair above them trying to get away. She pulled a very Tabitha-like move and traced her finger along Scott's cheek. ~So you DON'T want the extra Christmas present that I had planned for you before you left?~  
  
"Uh... Uh..." 'Must be strong. Must be strong. Must be- Oh, hell, Bobby brought this on himself. Why should I suffer?' He slumped. ~You win.~  
  
"Good boy."  
  
"Aw... man... he's whipped," Ray muttered. "So much for our fearless leader." Jean glared at him and the boys all backed up, except for Scott who was being let away by the hand.  
  
"Turncoat!" Evan accused.  
  
"Quick," Jamie whispered to Sam, "Punch me in the arm. Hard." He screwed his eyes shut and braced himself.  
  
"Ah'm not gonna-"  
  
"Just do it. Trust me." Sam shrugged and slugged the younger boy in the arm. A couple dozen or so Jamies spilled out on the stairs beneath them, forming a barrier between the boys and the angry girls. "Again." Sam obliged, this time without argument. A dozen more copies were added.  
  
"Now. We're taking him and you can't stop us," Roberto told them, catching onto Jamie's plan.  
  
Amara was idly tossing a fireball up and down in her hand. Rahne had shifted halfway into a wolf. Jubilee, who had finally gotten into the spirit of things, despite Bobby, had small paffs sparking from her fingertips. Jean and Kitty were standing there, ready, but with no visual manifestation of their powers. Rogue had pulled her gloves off. All were smiling.  
  
"Ya think so?" Without warning Rogue flew forward and grabbed on of the Jamie copies, dragging him back before the others could stop her. He yelped as he was absorbed and vanished. Rahne assisted Rogue in much the same way Sam had Jamie. Dozens of Rogue clones appeared.  
  
"Dis is NOT good..." Normally, the sight of thirty-some Rogues in the same room would have been more than just the slightest bit arousing. But each and every one of them had a demonic glint to their eyes which challenged his own burning red ones. He couldn't have felt less stimulated in that area than at that moment.  
  
Each side, the Rogues plus Scott and the five girls against the Jamies and the other boys, stared each other down. Evan had spikes popped all over his body while Ray had energy crackling from his hands. Each Jamie took one of the Rogues and had a private staring contest. Roberto fired up with his reserve of solar energy. Remy stood with his favorite card, Ace of Spades, flared up with kinetic energy. Though inside, he really didn't want to hurt Rogue, nor create any more of them. Bobby just sat on the step, bumming in his ice form to keep their appearance up. Over and over he chanted in his head 'Next year the girls are getting noodle necklaces...'  
  
Hank came inside, his cheeks flushed from the newest statue added to the Xavier Institute grounds. He stopped and stared at the spectacle in the foyer. He could only assume this had to do with Bobby's earlier torture. He sighed loudly enough to make a couple of the Rogues and Jamies turn and wave. He swallowed harshly and then spoke up, "Remy? Do you have any idea where Logan put that bourbon of yours? I think I'm going to need something after THIS..." He shook his head and headed for the steps.   
  
Remy only turned to glare at him. "If I knew where it was, y' t'ink I'd be here savin' Bobby's ass?"  
  
"Hmm, right." The Beast could be heard cursing lightly, bringing shock to the students. "Oh, sorry, as you were..." Then he began to mumble as he walked up the stairs to his room, "O, what may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side..."  
  
  
  
The professor watched Hank wearily walk up the steps, deciding, without his powers, that the newest teacher definitely needed a rest. "What do you think, Logan? Should we stop this?"  
  
"Nah, I give 'em another five minutes before they come to their senses. Actually, two before the Rogues disappear."  
  
Xavier chuckled to himself. "Ahh, the holiday spirit. I think they're really going to miss each other."  
  
"Heh, the only thing they're going to miss is the fighting. This always happens... though I've never seen it to this extreme. It's unbelievable." Xavier looked at him questioningly. "They refuse training sessions with ME, but looking at them now you'd think they LIKE being at each others throats."  
  
"We both know they're less likely to hurt themselves this way," he replied with a smile.  
  
"Yeah... whatever. They better get their "hugging" done soon. I'm getting their asses outta bed at seven tomorrow morning so they're on time for their flights."  
  
"Just let them be. They'll be worn out soon." He watched as a paff throw itself threateningly to the boys side. "Hopefully, for sake of the furniture..."  
  
TBC... 


	7. Fighting is BadLiquor is Good!

Jubilee's paff had started a free-for-all. Chaos and explosions were everywhere. Bobby had formed a ice shield around him that Amara was systematically breaking down with her fireballs. He stubbornly kept building it right back up. It was really only a question of who got tired first. Rahne was wrestling with Sam but the giggles and laughter coming from them showed the lack of seriousness the fight held for them. Jubilee was blinding Ray and Roberto with her fireworks so they couldn't get off any accurate shots. Kitty was sitting on Jamie keeping him from gaining reinforcements or helping any of the others. Scott was sitting on the side of the stairs, eyes closed and rubbing the bridge of his nose. Jean was deflecting Evan's spikes, much to his annoyance. The others were all occupied leaving Rogue and Remy to face off.  
  
By this time, the Rogues had slowly dropped out of existence as she felt Jamie's power leave her. Remy had watched her from his position on the stairs, patiently waiting for it just to be her once again. He still held the card in his hand. It was on the brink of exploding from being charged so long. Carefully, he threw it away, not in the direction of Jamie. That would just ruin everything Kitty had going. Instead, it landed near Rahne and Sam with a BOOM, but their tickle attacks on each other didn't even falter.  
  
Rogue's mouth curled into the semi-pout as the last of her duplicates faded. Then she saw Remy standing on the steps. She shrugged and mouthed "oops" to him under all the disorder. He shook his head and extended his hand towards her wordlessly. She nodded and walked in his direction, dodging a stray spike with ease. She took Remy's hand and he led her up the steps.  
  
Upon reaching the top of the stairs they looked down on the damage. They both knew Xavier would have their heads later on, but it was going to have to wait after everyone came back. A fireball skimmed by, perilously close Rogue's head, and she glared down at Amara, who just shrugged and continued belting them out at Bobby.  
  
Remy's eyes lit up. "Y' know, chere. I t'ink I just t'ought o' somet'in' fun f'r us t' do..." He snaked an arm around her waist.  
  
"Oh really, Cajun? An' just what would that be?"  
  
"I jus' remembered a wonderful place where I bet we can find some 'fun in a bot'le'. No idea why I didn' t'ink of it earlier."  
  
She furrowed her eyebrows. "An' just where's that?"  
  
"Logan's stash of goodies in the garage. Care t' join me f'r... I dunno, whatev'r I can grab?"   
  
She grinned. "Aww, Ah bet ya say that ta all the gals. C'mon. Ah'm for it." She took his hand and they dodged the others on their way to the garage.  
  
  
  
The teenagers were sprawled out in various positions all over the foyer, to all appearances, completely boneless. The professor and Logan appeared at the top of the stairs. "I trust you all enjoyed yourselves." Numerous groans and subhuman noises were his answer.  
  
"Well, Charles, there's not as much damage as you thought there'd be," Logan commented, looking around.  
  
Despite Kitty's best attempts, there were still a number of Jamie's lying around, all exhausted. Bobby and Amara had soon forgotten their mini-struggle and collapsed on the steps. Sam and Rahne were a sight as well. Rahne had fallen into Sam's arm in her wolf state and had since morphed back. With the way they were on top of each other, it looked like he'd been petting her before she'd morphed. Now she was cuddled up all cozy in his lap.  
  
Xavier scanned the area visually again but didn't see Jean, Rogue, Scott or Remy. Assuming, well, not the worst, he left them to their privacy, especially for his star students since they would be separated the next day. As for Rogue and Remy, it just best to not interfere with them from what he'd overheard from Jubilee.  
  
"Well, Drake, what have we learned from this little experience?" Logan questioned with amusement, noting Bobby's attire.  
  
"Girls are scary." Jubilee, lying on the steps next to Roberto and Ray, sent a weak paff in his direction, not even bothering to lift her head.  
  
"I expect this room to be clean by the time you leave tomorrow." Numerous protests were immediately heard. "Unless you'd rather extra Danger Room sessions for a month. At five in the morning. With Logan." There was immediate silence. "Good. It seems we understand each other. Good night, children."  
  
"You know... I just realized something..." Amara spoke after a few mintues silence. "We never did get to open the rest of the presents..."  
  
"So who gets the privilege of dragging the couples out of their love nests and finding Kurt?" Ray asked. No one spoke.  
  
  
  
Speaking of Kurt, he was shivering, still on the rooftop of the Institute. But he figured the cold was better than anything the girls could do to him inside. After checking his watch for the fiftieth time and seeing that an hour had passed, he decided it might actually be safe to go in. Either that or have his poor tail fall off from frostbite.   
  
Just to be safe, he walked over to the roof where the front of the house was, making sure no fights had spread to the outdoors. What Kurt saw instead was the... lovely display of Bobby in statue form, no doubt done by the girls for ultimate revenge. Gaining whatever strength he had in him before he threw up, he bamfed to someplace warm, not caring where.  
  
Kurt's bad luck, however, had taken him to what was potentially the deadliest place in the mansion besides the Danger Room... Logan's bedroom. Now, as all the residents in the mansion knew, it was extremly unwise to enter Logan's room even when he was awake. When he was asleep all bets were off.  
  
Kurt stood perfectly still, even though he knew the smell of his teleport would give him away. As expected, Logan shot up in bed, claws extended, not at all happy to have been woken up just as he had fallen asleep. He breathed in deeply. "Elf, give me one good reason not to dice you into four slices on why you're in my room."  
  
"Umm... if I told you that I saw a naked ice sculpture of Bobby in ze main yard und I vasn't thinking straight, vould you believe me?"  
  
Logan paused as he recalled everything else he'd seen that night. Yeah, he'd buy that. "Alright, now beat it." A second's pause and a slightly feral smile curled his lips. "Oh, and you can make yourself useful and check on the girls." Kurt, gulped, turned as pale as a blue furry boy could, and bamfed out of the room. Logan grunted, rolled over and went back to sleep muttering something that sounded an awful lot like, "Damned kids."  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Rogue was accepting her fourth drink from Remy. "Try dis one," he said, looking at the bottle.  
  
With a giggle and a shrug, she took a nice swig of it. And then almost coughed it right back up. "Oh mah Gawd, what the hell is this?"  
  
He showed her the label. "Everclear. Strongest shit I've ev'r seen."  
  
She finished her glass absently and then dropped it, putting her hands up to her ears. "Ahh! Mah ears are burnin'!" She fell on her back on his bed and kicked her legs in the air.  
  
"Chere... it's just a drink."  
  
She sat up for a moment, burning ears forgotten. "Have you tried it yet?!"  
  
He smiled sheepishly. "Non."  
  
"Then shut up!" She then laid back down and kicked her legs around a bit for the hell of it.  
  
Remy took a sip straight from the bottle and agreed that it was VERY strong. No doubt Logan had this for those hard days when a buzz just wouldn't be enough. It could most likely knock anyone with a healing factor out in no time. With that thought, he put the bottle down and went back to his beloved bottle of bourbon. He had found it with the rest just a couple shots left inside, but enough to satisfy him.   
  
Before taking a sip, he checked on Rogue on the bed. She was lying half off of it, looking like she was counting the dust specks in the air. "Havin' fun?"  
  
She grinned up to him. "Foh now Ah am." She forward rolled off the bed and giggled. "Ooh! That was fun!" She climbed on the bed again and repeated the same thing.  
  
"Chere... dat might not be de best t'ing f'you t' be doin' right now."  
  
She rolled off for the third time and looked up to him with a pout. "Why not?" The pout faded as she turned green. She held a hand up to her mouth as her eyes went wide. "Oh shit.."  
  
"Dat's why."  
  
Rogue managed not to heave, barely, and her skin gradually faded back to its normal pale shade. She then took another sip of the Everclear at which point Remy decided it would be prudent to take the bottle away. However, she was rather against the idea, holding onto the neck easily, and he wasn't going to win a tug of war with her anytime soon.  
  
"Come on, chere... Give Remy de Everclear. Dere's a good girl..." he coaxed, using just a bit of his charm powers. She let go and and began giggling uncontrollable, causing him to raise an eyebrow.  
  
"Ya have an accent!"  
  
He smirked. "So d' you."  
  
"Ah do?" All joking faded from her face. "Mah. Name. Is. Rogue. Do. Ah. Have. An. Accent?" Then she fell over with laughter. "Ah do!" She squirmed a bit towards him and stuck her bottom lip out. "Can Ah have some more, Cajun?"  
  
"Ohhhh, non." He stood up, taking the few bottles with liquid still in them with him. "Y' gotta come an' get 'em if y' want dem."  
  
She licked her lips at the challenge and pushed herself up into the air. Then she gasped and flailed around. "Ah can fly?!"  
  
"Oui, chere."  
  
A giggle. "Great!" She managed to move slightly in the before falling like a rock halfway on his bed. Luckily, it was her head that landed on the bed. "Ah cain't fly that good," she moaned. "Mah tummy hurts again."  
  
Remy just sighed and moved over to the bed. "Here," he pulled her other end, hands grazing unnoticeably over her butt, onto the bed. "Jus' lay on y're stomach an' relax. No more flyin' or flips, eh?"  
  
She nodded against the sheets. "Ah don't know why Ah let ya talk me inta these thangs."  
  
"Actually, I didn' do any talkin'. Y' gave full consent on dis one." He grinned.  
  
She let out a sickening but quiet burp. "Whatevah." Then she moaned. "Ah need some food..."  
  
"De ti'n's I do f'r y'," he muttered, shaking his head in resignation.  
  
"Thank ya, Remy."  
  
  
  
Back in the lobby silence reigned. No one had yet volunteered. "Oh, fine, I'll do it," Kitty finally said, sitting up and rolling her eyes. "Since obviously no one else is going to."  
  
She heaved herself up and went to find the others. The first one she ran into was Remy who had his arms full of bottles.  
  
"What the... Don't tell me."  
  
Remy shrugged. "K. Den I won'." He tried pushing by her.   
  
"No!! Tell me!" She smiled. "I thought Logan took your booze."  
  
"An' I took his."  
  
"And now it's gone?"  
  
"Everyt'in' but dis," he nodded toward the barely touched bottle of Everclear, "an' a few o' de ot'er ones. Roguey be needin' food now. She 'bout passed out on m' bed."  
  
Kitty's eyes went wide. "You got Rogue drunk!?" she squeaked.  
  
He almost dropped the bottles with her voice piercing through his ears. "Would y' keep it down?! I'm jus' gon' get her some food, an' she'll be fine in... hell, I dunno. De last time we did dis she slept for over 10 hours..."  
  
"But the rest of us will be, like, halfway across the country in ten hours! And we still have other presents to exchange!"  
  
"Merde... okay... Here!" He piled the bottles over to her. "Take dese downstairs, tell someone t' have pretzels ready or some shit like dat. I'll bring her down an' we'll get de rest o' de gifts done!" He jetted down the other direction of the hall. Kitty was just left standing with the liquor bottles unsteady in her hands. She saw Ororo coming her way suddenly and panicked. Then with a quick mental 'duh' phased down into the floor before the older woman could notice.  
  
  
  
"'Kay, chere, change o' plans," Remy anounced as he came back in the room.  
  
"Hmm?" Rogue rolled over onto her back and gazed up at him. "Ya're all upside-down..."  
  
"Dat would be you."  
  
"Food?" she questioned with a drowsy smile.  
  
"Kitty's gettin' it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I told her to."  
  
"If ya told her ta walk off a bridge would she do it?" she asked, momentarily serious, as if the answer was vitally important.  
  
"I doubt it," he snorted. "We're goin' downstairs now."  
  
"But Ah wanna stay here with you," she pouted.  
  
"Well, I'm goin' t' be down dere."  
  
"Oh." She thought about that for a second. "It's okay, then."  
  
"C'n y' walk?"  
  
"Non!" she giggled. Remy smirked slightly. She was definately cute when she was drunk. Not that she wasn't cute all the time. He bent forward slid his arms under her legs and back, lifting her up and against him. She snuggled closer, putting her arms around his neck and resting her head against his chest. "Ya're hot," she giggled.  
  
"In what way...?" He asked, his smirked growing larger. Hey, an ego boost never hurt anyone.  
  
She looked up at him with doe eyes. "Ya hafta ask?" She puckered her lips together and kissed the air between them. Remy almost dropped her. He DEFINATELY wanted to have his wicked way with her since she was obviously in one of her more favorable moods for such things, but he'd told Kitty they'd be downstairs...  
  
"Damn Christmas," he mumbled.  
  
Rogue laughed and played along. "Bah humbug!" Then she giggled hysterically all the way down the steps. "Hi y'all!" She said excitedly when she saw the others STILL sprawled out on the floor. She glanced around. "Rem, where's mah food? Mah tummy's grumblin'."  
  
Ray's eyes went wide. "What the fuck happened to HER?!"  
  
"She hit her head an' now she's actually bein' nice t' y' li'l shits." Remy sighed. "She's drunk, o'course! Didn' Kitty come down here wit' all de bottles?"  
  
Ray's eyes opened even more, if possible. "Alright, who's been holding out on me?!" He stared accusingly at Remy.   
  
"Dis is de product of Logan's 'Everclear.' Y' wan' be as trashed as her, go find Kitty." He looked around. "Where is Kitty anyway?"  
  
The others shrugged.  
  
  
  
Kurt had bamfed into the hallway, as far from Logan as possible and was trying to get up the courage to "check on the girls" when he saw Kitty phase up through the floor. "Yaaah!!"  
  
Kitty yelped and jumped back, almost losing the bottles still in her arms. "God, Kurt, don't DO that! You almost gave me a heart attack."  
  
"I almost gave YOU a heart attack?! Vhat about ME?! Is zat alcohol?" He sniffed. "It is!"  
  
"Um, like, I can explain-"  
  
"Give me some!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You have no idea vhat I've been through. Give it!" He lunged at her.   
  
"Kurt!" She phased out of his jump so he ended up on the floor. "You're acting as crazy as Evan was last night! What's gotten into you?!"  
  
"Give. Me. Ze. Drinks," he growled.  
  
"Nooo way. I'm dropping out." She phased through the ground again, shuddering. Kurt just sat on the ground for a minute, eyes on the spot Kitty had vanished from, looking forlorn. He sighed and bamfed to the lobby, seeing everyone lying about. His gaze then drifted to his sister, who was lounging on the couch, looking slightly dazed.   
  
"Hiya, elf!" She greeted cheerfully. Without a single word, he went up to her and put his hand to her face. He passed out. Rogue's eyes snapped open while everyone else watched Kurt fall limp on the floor. Remy was just coming out with Rogue's damn food to see him hit the floor. "What de fuck...?!"  
  
She put a hand to her face. "Mein Gott. Ah mean, shit." She looked down to Kurt. "Poor elf... He went psycho... Bobby, Logan, needed drinks..." She poked his nose and giggled. Her giggling set off a series of her bamfing around the room. She finally stopped, the strong smell of brimstone getting to her. There was no holding back her stomach now. One more bamf and she was in the bathroom, worshipping at the porcelain alter, as many other poor souls had before her.  
  
  
  
"Where'd she go?" Jamie asked. They all turned toward Remy.  
  
"How in de hell would I know?" Everyone gave him gave him a look. He blew his bangs out of his face and rolled his eyes. "She's probably pukin' her guts out right 'bout now. If we're lucky she's in de bat'room. If not..." He trailed off and the teenagers winced. "I'll go find her."  
  
"Hey, get Scott and Jean to come down here while you're at it," Roberto told him lazily.  
  
"Wha' do I look like t' y'? Yer own personal slave? Get dem yerself," Remy snapped before stalking off to retrieve his girlfriend.  
  
Jubilee giggled. "Meow!" That had apparently struck her as hysterically funny and she sank back against the steps, bent almost double with laughter. The others watched with raised eyebrows, expecting her to stop soon. She didn't.  
  
"Wow. Whatever she's on, I want some," Evan commented.  
  
"What I want some of that liquor Remy mentioned," Ray stated almost wistfully. Just then Kitty phased through the wall, arms still full of bottles and a slightly nervous look on her face. She was met by cheering.  
  
"Okaaay..."  
  
Ray strolled up to her, casually placing an arm around her shoulders. "Hey there, Kitkat. Whatcha planning to do with all those drinks?"  
  
"I have no idea! Remy, like, literally dumped them on me and told me to get rid of them."  
  
A spark came to Ray's eyes. "I'll take care of 'em for ya. I know where they go."  
  
"Really? That'd be great!" She loaded the bottles over to him and a sinister smile came across his face.  
  
"Sucker!" He ran off, dropping the few already empty bottles on the way.  
  
She just rolled her eyes and turned to the rest of the group. "Since when is everyone so into getting drunk? First Rogue, then Kurt, like, all but attacked me..." As she mentioned Kurt, she noticed saw him lying on the couch. "Aww, he looks better now." Kitty smiled.  
  
"Umm, he didn't look so 'better' when his eyes were filled with this psychotic glow," observed Jamie.  
  
Kitty fell to the floor. "That's it. I can't wait to go home now. I need a break!" She sighed with frustration. The others just backed away, giving her room.  
  
  
  
Remy was checking the bathrooms upstairs. First he checked the girls' room, figuring she would think to go there. Apparently, she wasn't thinking straight because she wasn't there. He tried the guys' next. He opened the door to it and the putrid smell of vomit smacked him in the face. Once he kept his own bile down, he saw Rogue with her head resting lazily on the toilet seat.   
  
He grabbed a towel and knelt down next to her. "Chere? How y' feelin', girl?"  
  
A small moan escaped her mouth and her eyes fluttered open. "Ah don't feel good."  
  
"Obviously," he said with a warm smile. He dabbed the towel against her face to clean her up. She nuzzled slightly against the motion and lulled her head off the toilet and into Remy's lap.  
  
"Jus' hold me." He gathered his arms around her and did as she asked.  
  
  
  
"I say we get our liquor back!!" Bobby announced with a fist in the air.  
  
"Don't ya remember the last time ya had an idea?" Sam asked him with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Um... No..." Bobby smiled innocently.  
  
"Then just look down."  
  
Bobby did so, realized he was STILL in Jubilee's clothes, and turned an interesting shade of red.  
  
"I don't know about the rest of you, but that's not exactly inspiring my loyalty," Amara snickered.  
  
"Look, do you want to rescue the Everclear from Ray's evil clutches or not?" There was a resounding agreement from the majority.   
  
Rahne got up. "Fine. If ye're all dead set, then I'll go get it," Rahne offered. She shifted into wolf form and ran off. Not five minutes later Ray appeared, slightly unsteady, pale as a ghost, and shooting Rahne wary looks. She shifted back and smiled, looking almost angelic. "Never send a man to do a woman's job..." She grinned impishly. "Though Bobby might be able to pass as one," she added teasingly.  
  
"That's it. I'm going to change right now."  
  
"Into what?" Jamie quipped.  
  
"Shut up." Bobby glared at the offending boy and stomped up the stairs.  
  
Meanwhile, despite the happenings around her, Jubilee was STILL giggling like a hyena. Kitty shot her a concerned look. "We need to stop her before she hurts herself."  
  
"Aw, it's not like a little oxygen deprivation is gonna hurt her any," Roberto snorted.  
  
"No, I think we should do something. She can't affort to loose anymore braincells," Amara contradicted. Jubilee just kept laughing, in between faint gasps for air.  
  
"Any ideas?" Sam asked. There was a shaking of heads all around.  
  
"Oh, wait, I know. Ahem. OH MY GOD! LOOK! IT'S THE BACKSTREET BOYS!!!" Kitty squealed.   
  
Jubilee immediatly sat up, all laughter ceasing as her head whipped around. "Where?!? Where?!?"  
  
Kitty dusted her hands off on her pants. "See? That easy." Jubilee pouted, seeing no boy band members in sight.  
  
"So, we're back where we started, still missin' Remy, Rogue, Scott, and Jean," Sam observed.  
  
"Kitty, why don't you go get them? You're used to walking into embarrassing situations," Bobby suggested.  
  
She glared at the ice boy, who was downstairs again and finally back in his own clothing. "Ha ha ha. No way. I was sent up last time and all that I found was a Cajun with tons of booze, and Kurt, who is STILL unconscious by the way!" She looked to him once again. "Shouldn't he be back to normal by now?"  
  
Evan went over and picked up the elf's wrist. After checking the pulse, he stated, "He's still alive. No worries, man."  
  
"Evan, why don't you go? You were kinda MIA yesterday," Roberto said, remembering a very paranoid Evan.  
  
Evan's eyes went wide. "No way! I'm not going to catch Jean and Scott in the act!" He popped some spikes. "You can't make me!"   
  
"Hey, just kidding... heh heh... Umm, I'll go instead!" Roberto jetted up the steps.  
  
Jubilee watched him go. "I don't think it's safe. You two should have gone." she said, looking pointedly between Kitty and Evan. "You know the others better."  
  
Kitty shrugged while Evan, still a bit crazed, kept his spikes up. "He offered."  
  
  
  
Roberto sauntered along the hall, whistling carelessly. It didn't bother him to get Scott and Jean. It wasn't like he was planning on barging in without knocking. This way he doubted he would see anything that would cause him to need therapy later in life. He passed by the guy's bathroom and frowned as he heard voices. He knocked.  
  
"Remy? Rogue? You guys in there?"  
  
"Oui."  
  
"I'm getting Scott and Jean. We're gonna be opening presents soon, okay?"  
  
"We'll be dere, mon ami."  
  
Roberto knocked on Scott's door. Immediately Jean called for him to come in. He opened the door to find Jean and Scott sitting on a nearly immaculate bedspread, neither of them looking at all mussed. He snorted. "I should have known you two were too goody-goody to actually be DOING anything. I'm supposed to tell you we're opening presents in a few mintues." He turned and left without another word, closing the door behind him.  
  
Jean turned to Scott. "We were just insulted, weren't we?"  
  
He gave her an innocent look. "I'm up for opening presents. You're going to love what I got you." He got off the bed and then reached down to Jean to pull her up as well.  
  
"You got me something?" She blushed.  
  
"Of course." He smiled. "It's nothing too fancy... I bought it awhile ago..." He kept his eyes to the ground as he led her out of the room.  
  
"Aww, Scott, are you blushing?" He didn't answer. "It's okay. I got you something to. I mean, it's going to seem pretty impersonal now because of where we're at with our relationship now, but I hope you like it."  
  
"I'll like anything you'd give me, Jean." They continued walking to the steps, just having passed the bathroom. Rogue had just managed to get to her feet, but after hearing a bit of the mush going on outside, she was back on her knees with her head in the toilet.  
  
"Merde." Remy growled towards the door.  
  
"Ugh..." Rogue moaned.  
  
"Here, chere. Wash yer mout' out wit' dis." He handed her some Listerine. "It'll make y' feel better." She took some and swished it around in her mouth for a bit. "Good girl. Now spit." She obeyed. He put one of her arms around his neck and helped her up. "Now, we're gonna go down and open de nice presents an' get y' a lit'le o' de hair o' de dog dat bit y'."  
  
TBC... 


	8. Loosening the Stiffs and a Cleaning Fren...

Scott and Jean came downstairs only to see most of the mutants sitting around the tree, wrapped in blankets, and had a nice, healthy buzz on. Seconds later they saw Remy come down the steps, supporting a none to steady Rogue.  
  
"Oh, my God, you've all been drinking!" Jean stated, shocked.  
  
Remy was about to say that he hadn't, but then again, he had. He had just been too preoccupied with Rogue to feel the buzz. "Get ov'r it. Dis be Christmas cheer!" He said instead, helping Rogue with sitting down and wrapping an extra blanket around the two of them. She snuggled against his warm body and fought a hiccup. Remy glanced to the others. "Y' didn' drink too much, did y'?"  
  
Jubilee shook her head happily, fighting another giggle attack. "Nope. We all had to share so we had a sip and a half. Each!" That set it off. She collapsed against Bobby who had started sharing in her laughter. Amara smacked them with a pillow to shut them up, but after successfully knocking them out for a few seconds, she laughed on her own.  
  
"I can't believe this!" Jean said. "Where are all the adults here? This is exactly like the time you had a party and tried getting rid of us!"  
  
Evan smiled hazily. "But this time we didn't even have to get you outta the house to have fun." Roberto gave him a high five for shutting Jean down.  
  
She looked to Scott, her eyes ordering him to say something. "Just let them do this. They'll be easier to handle," he whispered as he sat down by the tree. 'I hope.'  
  
"So... how's about anyone grabs a present and gives it to whoever and... yeah." Kitty suggested.  
  
The others nodded in approval and several people grabbed presents. Remy grabbed a small red box off the tree and handed it to Rogue. "Dere y' go, cherie."  
  
She mustered up the biggest smile she could with her head still a mess. She pulled the cover off the box and looked inside. "Oh mah... Remy!" She pulled out a white gold choker studded with emeralds. "This is so pretty! Ah'm afraid ta ask where ya got it."  
  
"Den don'." He grinned back. He kissed the top of her head. "Glad y' like it."  
  
"Ah love it. Thank you." She took off her usual spiked dog collar and replaced it with her new one. "How's it look?" She asked everyone.  
  
"Wow." Amara said, eyes open in amazement, since she truly knew luxury. "That's beautiful." Rogue smiled in agreement.   
  
"Ooh. And Ah got ya somethin' too." She got up, clutching her head for a mintue. She frowned and grabbed Ray's bottle, much to his dismay and took a swig. She wasn't sure quite what it was since he had peeled the lable off but it tasted good and made her head feel a bit better. Then, after handing back the alcohol, she made her way to the tree and crawled toward the back, giving Remy a rather nice view of her ass in the process. The other males got a good look as well, the attached ones getting hit by their respective significant others, and the unattached ones recieving Remy's patented look of death. Rogue came out with a large fairly flat box and handed it to Remy as she flopped on the couch beside him.  
  
"Here ya go." He tore it open, and opened the box, finding a brown, butter soft leather trench coat in exactly his size.  
  
"Yoah othah one was gettin' pretty worn an' this one has LOTSA pockets." She giggled and he grinned. She knew him so well. It was also clearly a nice coat, the hide thick, but supple and the seams nearly invisible.  
  
"Merci, chere." He got up to try it on. It fit perfectly.   
  
"Wait, this too!" She reached into the box and pulled out a deck of cards. "Hate ta be cliché but you could always use some more." She smiled sweetly.  
  
He emptied the pack into one of the pockets. Then he tested pulling one out and charging it. Instead of just pretending, he actually did charge it. Upon seeing this, he threw it to get it away from him and Rogue. And just their luck, it landed a foot or so away from Jean. He smiled sheepishly and shrugged. She only growled deep in her throat.  
  
Then he turned back to Rogue. "Best gift ev'r." He sat back down again and hugged her.  
  
The others tore into the presents. The gift giving was a success. Except for the gag gifts, they had all gotten things they liked. Also, since each person had bought at least one thing for everyone else they all had managed to do quite well for themselves.  
  
Rogue let out a moan that mirrored Kurt's as he began waking up on the other couch. "Welcome back to the world of the living, dude." Bobby laughed.  
  
Kurt sat up unsteadily, blinking a few times and surveying everything around him. He was warmer now... didn't remember too much of what happened before that. Maybe it was a blessing. "How long vaz I out?"  
  
"Hard to tell," Jubilee started. "You went crazy and Rogue's drunk so that could have had an effect. No idea though."   
  
Kurt looked to Rogue who glared weakly. "Thanks foh the images by the way. An' foh the powers... got mah stomach JUST raht," she said sarcastically.  
  
He just shrugged somberly. "Oops."  
  
Ray stood, remarkably steady for the amount of alcohol he'd consumed. "I'm gonna go get that egg nog I saw in the fridge and some cookies. Anyone else want some before we start cleaning?" The only ones who declined were Jean and Scott. Ray rolled his eyes. "It's non-alcoholic, you wusses."  
  
"Well, if it's nonalcoholic..." Scott aquiesced, though like Jean, he continued to glare at him for the "wuss" remark.  
  
"Yes, fearless leader," Ray mocked before vanishing into the kitchen. He got out the eggnog, eyed the contents which were already close to half gone, added as much brandy as he could without the container overflowing, then shook it. He grinned. "Well, it WAS non-alcoholic. What they don't know won't hurt them."  
  
He brought in a tray filled with drinks for everyone along with some of Ororo's gingerbread cookies. He handed Jean and Scott theirs and walked to sit with everyone else. Jamie sipped the drink and almost snorted with laughter into the glass, but Ray just gave him a 'keep it quiet' look and continued to sip normally.  
  
Giggling, Rahne took one of the gingerbread cookies. She held it up to her face. "Hey, Jubes. Do you know the muffin man?"  
  
Instantly catching on, Jubilee asked, "The muffin man?"  
  
"The muffin man!"  
  
"Yes... I know the muffin man... who lives on Drewy Lane?"  
  
"Well," a choked on giggle. "She's MARRIED to the muffin man..."  
  
"The muffin man?"  
  
"The muffin man!!" They both toppled over with laughter. Bobby and Roberto luckily grabbed their eggnog before it feel as well.  
  
Remy sipped his eggnog and instantly tasted the overload of brandy. He saw Jean about to sip it and laughed to himself. He got up off the couch and took a seat next to Scott. "Hey, dat's a nice sweater Jeannie got y' dere."  
  
Scott smiled proudly. "Yeah, it's definitely my color from what I can tell." Then he leaned in to whisper. "Unlike what Evan got me."  
  
Remy laughed along with him, watching Jean in the corner of his eye. She had just watched the drunken exchange of Rahne and Jubilee and was ready to gulp down some eggnog to keep herself from sighing. That'll be a nice kick for her. 'Jus' have t' keep Cyke preoccupied...' "Oui, be lucky y' couldn' see de real colors on dat t'ing. Dogs could hear dem colors." Then Jean drank big time and coughed up at the same time.   
  
Scott turned to see what was the matter. Remy wasn't about to let Scott miss out on the drink though. "Damn, Jeannie. Did it go down the wrong pipe?" His voice, along with his "charm" convincing Scott of his version of the "truth" before Jean could relay any sort of telepathic message.  
  
She glared at him, obviously saying something directly to his mind. "That's crazy, Jean. They wouldn't do that. You just drank too fast, that's all." Then he took a sip on his own... and his eyes watered up. He spun around to glare at Remy, but the Cajun had swiftly made it back onto the couch into the protective arms of Rogue.  
  
"Somethin' wrong, Scott?" She sipped her eggnog like it was water.  
  
He opened his mouth to say something, but decided to let it go. One more dagger filled glare to Remy and he turned his attention to Jean once again. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow expectantly. "What was it you just said? 'That's crazy, Jean'?"  
  
Scott looked sheepish, "Um... There's always the chance I was mistaken."  
  
"Ya act like ya've never had a drop o' alcohol in yoah entire lives," Sam muttered. Scott and Jean just looked at him. "Oh, now that's just sad. Drink the eggnog. Ya both could use a little loosenin' up anyway."  
  
"Just because we're not into reckless and illegal behav-"  
  
"SHUT UP, JEAN!!!" the entire room chorused. She looked quelled and sipped her eggnog. Scott looked put upon and did the same.  
  
  
  
Amara stood up suddenly. "Umm... do you guys remember that the prof told us to clean up?"  
  
The other students looked around at each other with dread at the damage they had made. "Ooh! I've got it!" Ray said. "Jamie, c'mere."  
  
Jamie shakily crawled over to him. "What?" Without a single warning, Ray punched him hard in the upper arm. Jamie, and the several that poured out of him, rubbed their arms. "What was that for?!"  
  
Ray smirked. "Our own personal cleaning crew."  
  
"You know that's not a bad idea..." Remy said thoughtfully from his place on the couch where Rogue was happily cuddled up in his lap.  
  
The Jamies looked around the room for support which was not in the least forthcoming. "You guys are MEAN!!" They wailed, wearing identical sulkily expessions and crossing their arms.  
  
"Well, Ah, foh one, agree with him... them..." A confused expression flitted briefly over Rogue's face before she continued. "We should at least bribe-"  
  
Remy interruped her. "Come on, Rogue. Dis is-" he cut off the statement with an involuntary groan as Rogue stretched against him, rubbing along his body like a cat and giving him a great view of a lot of tempting skin in the process.  
  
"We're ya sayin' somethin', sugah?" she purred, her voice full of southern heat.  
  
"No, chere," he sighed, defeatedly.  
  
There was suddenly a lot of suspicious coughing from the majority of the other males of the room. In fact it sounded a lot like they were saying "whipped." Remy glared.  
  
The Jamies, on the other hand, were not liking the situation but willing to milk it for all it was worth. "Did we hear something about a bribe?" The original Jamie asked. Rogue offered him a smile but looked to the others to negotiate. Besides, her head still hurt.  
  
"How about this," Kitty said. "Bobby will do your chores for a month too!"  
  
"What!?" Bobby said, finally paying attention to the conversation. "No way!"  
  
"You think of something better than if you don't wanna clean all night," Roberto said. "This mess is basically is YOUR fault..." he trailed off with a smile on his face.  
  
Bobby buried his face in his hands. "Can we just let it go already?"  
  
All of the girls chorused, "NO!"  
  
"Weeell..." The Jamies considered. They formed a huddle and furious whispering could be heard. Finally one of them broke away. "We agree... on two conditions. Jubes will replace, WITH double the interest, my candy stash that she stole..." The Jamies turned, scowling at her, and she turned bright red as everyone else laughed and yelled, "Busted!", "and you stop leaving us out of things just 'cause we're younger," he finished, unconsciously switching from the singular to the plural pronouns as he talked.  
  
They all weighed these options very carefully. Sure, they'd left the poor kid out a couple times, okay, most of the time, but that didn't mean they wanted him tagging along. With a collective sigh from most of the teens, Jubilee spoke up, "Fine. Just get it done quick in case the Professor changes his mind about when it has to be done."  
  
The Jamies stood up, about eight of them total. The original Jamie walked out ahead, turning to them all. "Okay. We've got a job to do guys!" Then he started telling each one was he was responsible for. They all nodded after being given their duties and scrambled about. The rest of the team just watched in astonishment as the room was picked up before their eyes by the same boy.  
  
In no more than fifteen minutes, the room was spotless. The Jamies collapsed and disappeared, leaving one very exhausted boy. He reached his hand out to anyone and Kurt supplied him with his eggnog. Everyone followed suit and drank along with him.  
  
TBC... 


	9. Hangovers and Confrontations

Give or take a half hour later, the couple with sticks up both their asses had relaxed. Completely. Everyone, including Rogue and Remy, had formed a circle on the floor, some of the girls draped literally across their significant others. Jubilee just kind of laid across Bobby and Kurt in the same matter.  
  
"We need ta do somethin'. Ah'm b.o.r.e.d." Rogue drawled. She reached over to Scott and checked his watch. "An' it's only eleven."  
  
"Easy for you to say. You don't hafta get up at an ungodly hour tomorrow," Ray griped. "I hate mornings."  
  
"WE KNOW!" The group answered at once. Ray's grumpiness after waking in the early hours was legendary and as much a part of morning routine as the sun rising.  
  
"I'm opting for passing out here and letting the adults think that we had a friendly sleepover," Jean said, slurring a bit.  
  
"Even if ve COULD zink of somezing to do, I doubt any of us could stand at ze moment anyvay."  
  
There was sleepy, if reluctant, agreement from all of them and conversation, such as it was, gradually died down as the teenagers fell asleep one by one.  
  
Several hours later, Logan was awake looking for the students, none of whom were in their rooms. He found them passed out in the foyer, smelling strongly of alcohol. Logan sniffed again and growled. HIS alcohol. Smiling maliciously, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted at the top of his lungs, "ALRIGHT, TROOPS, UP, NOW!!!  
  
There was much painful moaning and crying from the majority as the shout pierced through their skulls. Jubilee whimpered pitifully and buried her head further into Bobby's chest. The various other couples shifted slightly with similarly pathetic noises in the hope that their sadistic mentor would just go AWAY. That wasn't going to happen in the near future, however. Separating a Wolverine from his alcohol was an act reserved for only the very brave or the very foolish. It was debatable which category the trashed teenagers on lying on the floor fell into.  
  
Rogue's eyes cracked open. "Hey, Logan," she said quietly, knowing he would hear it. "Can ya come here a second?" He glared in her direction, but did as she asked.   
  
He stood over here. "What?" he spat.  
  
She hooked a finger for him to come closer. "C'mere." She smiled hazily. Remy stirred from underneath her. He saw Logan kneeling down next to him and Rogue and his eyes widened. She turned her head slightly and shushed him.  
  
"What?" Logan repeated, now glaring at her directly in the eyes.  
  
"Jus' wanted ta say g'mornin'," she said with a sweet smile. "An' g'night." She lifted up her other hand, the glove she had pulled off by sticking the one of the loose fingers underneath her bottom. Before Logan could say a word, her hand connected with his face.  
  
He fell next to the two of them, barely missing the still moaning Ray. "I hate mornings," he ranted.  
  
Rogue sat up slightly. "Well, mah headache's gone. Ah say you guys got about five minutes ta get movin'. Three foh him ta wake up, two foh him ta bitch at me foh doin' this." No response from the others. "GO!" That got them moving.  
  
Scott lifted himself up from beside Jean first, pulling himself to his feet unsteadily. He almost fell over again, but Jean took the liberty of making sure she didn't have Scott's ass ruin her face. Her parents wouldn't appreciate that for the Christmas pictures still to be taken. She held him steady with her telekinesis while she stood up herself. She gently nudged the others. "C'mon, you heard her."   
  
Rogue let out a growl, but appreciated Jean's help. The way Rogue saw it, after everyone left, she could then fall asleep again and stay that way till at least noon. She was looking forward to cuddling with Remy without the others interfering for once.  
  
Logan stirred at her feet. Bobby heard this as he trudged by. He accordingly quickened his pace, reaching down to grab Jamie in the process. No need for the kid to see the Wolverine's wrath in full.  
  
Remy nudged Rogue, who had lain back down across his chest, once she was sure the others were going. She didn't move. He nudged he harder. "What?"  
  
"Well, I'd like t' be FAR away when Logan wakes up, chere, if y' don' mind."  
  
"Away from me?" She gave him an innocent look through lowered lashes, leaned forward, and kissed his chest through the shirt. He jumped like he'd been burned. She went completely boneless against him, and nuzzled against his collarbone through the material.  
  
"Um..." he stuttered intelligently, trying to remember all the reasons why he really should get up. His hand grasped her shoulder and he was about to push her away, despite what the rest of his body was screaming at him to do, when she nipped him lightly and all semblance of thought vanished. His hand moved over her back and was soon joined by the other, as he lost himself in the feel of her skin though the thin shirt. She made a noise low in her chest. 'Dieu, is she purring?!?' he thought incredulously.  
  
"Gawd, ya smell good, Rem..." she murmured, inhaling deeply.  
  
"I do?" His first thought, if it could be called a thought, that came to his mind was that he probably reeked of alcohol. Second in line, was that she'd never commented on this sort of thing before.  
  
She looked up at him from her looming position over his stomach. There was a feral glint to her eyes. "Yah, ya do." She dipped down again to kiss him through his shirt. "Haven't ya always wanted to mess around in the main lobby? Where everyone can see ya?" She dipped again, biting him this time. Remy hissed through his teeth. "Ah'll take that as a yes."  
  
Remy gulped and did his best to compose himself. "Chere..." His eyes rolled back into his head briefly and it was a moment before he could breathe again.   
  
"What the hell...?" A growl came from not too far beside them. Remy didn't know whether to thank Logan for interrupting or to bitch slap him into next week... for interrupting.   
  
Rogue wasn't happy at all, but she played it off rather well. She rolled over so her head laid comfortably on Remy's lower abdomen. "Somethin' ya wanted, Logan?"  
  
He stood up, not disorientated at all. "You wanna tell me what the fuck that was about, river rat?"  
  
She gave him a look that was a cross between sweet and fierce. "Ah don't hafta explain shit ta you. Let's just say, though, that Ah wanted ta know foh that split second what it would be like ta be... untamed. An' Ah gotta say, Ah enjoyed it." She averted her eyes to Remy, who was still trying to steady his breath. She stood up herself, sizing up Logan. "Thanks foh the experience." She blew him a kiss and helped Remy up.  
  
The older man growled. "Don't you pull that shit with me, girl. I'm warning you."  
  
Rogue waved her hand back at him saucily. "Ah got everyone movin'. Show credit where it's due, Wolvie." Then she looked to Remy, who was all but hobbling at her side. "You okay, Cajun?"  
  
"Give me a minute," he sighed. "I'll be great." 'Once I get li'l Remy t' calm down...'  
  
"That's mah boy." She smirked.  
  
Logan just stood dumbstruck, staring at the southern couple walking away. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words caught on his tongue. With a snarl, he relented, "Ah, screw it." He stalked off in pursuit of alcohol to restock his sadly depleted stash. 'I knew I should have moved it when I had the chance,' he thought, scowling. 'Maybe if I bury it this time it'll be safe from Gumbo...'  
  
  
  
Rogue, supporting a slightly unsteady, somewhat hungover Remy, giggled on the way up the stairs.   
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Well, Ah feel great now cause o' Logan's healin' factor, an' mah GOD, did ya see the look on his face?! Fuckin' priceless!"  
  
Remy sighed and shook his head. "Oui, chere, I saw de look on his face. In most circles it's known as 'homicidal.'"  
  
"Aw, ya worry too much, swamp rat. He's just a big teddy bear," Rogue told him, smiling.  
  
"Right... A scary one wit' razor sharp claws..." She laughed and swatted him playfully. When they got to his room he collapsed on the bed with a groan. Rogue turned to leave. "Y' goin' t' leave me here, all alone, in m' time o' need, Rogue?" he asked with a look guaranteed to melt the heart of any woman who wasn't made of stone.  
  
"Ah ain't leavin' ya, Remy. Ah'll be raht back as soon as Ah get some aspirin for ya and make sure the othahs are packin.'"  
  
Remy watched her leave and his face fell neutral. "Damn, dat usually works..." Convinced that she would keep to her word and come back, he slowly rolled over and curled up to try and fall asleep.  
  
  
  
Rogue walked along the halls, stopping in the bathroom to grab a bottle of aspirin and to fill up a cup of water. Then she stopped among random rooms, checking up on the other students. As she peeked in, she handed out two pills per student present, so the plane trip wouldn't be too hard on them.   
  
Poor Jamie looked to be taking it the worst from what she could see. There was several of him, plodding about in his room. It looked like the original Jamie was so out of it, he kept tripping over anything in the way. She walked into the room, picking out the real Jamie easily. He had just picked himself up again and was looking at two new duplicates.   
  
"Jamie, here." Rogue dropped two pills into her gloved hand and handed them over. "You're gonna need these." She smiled pleasantly.  
  
He looked up to her, innocent smile on curling his lips. "Thanks." She handed the cup over as well and he took a sip to swallow them.  
  
She left, shaking her head, knowing perfectly well she'd be feeling just as bad if she hadn't absorbed Wolvie. Not only that but the enhanced senses were fun too. She stopped at a couple more rooms before coming to Bobby's. She grinned evilly and opened the door. Bobby was digging through one of his dresser drawers and tossing clothing on the bed, apparently in too much pain to care about wrinkles.  
  
"Boo!"  
  
"AHHH!!!" He turned to see Rogue leaning against the door frame and smirking. "God, don't DO that. You nearly gave me a heart attack. Haven't I suffered enough?"  
  
"Not really, but since Ah'm so nice..." She dangled the bottle of aspirin between her thumb and forefinger.  
  
He walked over and fell to his knees at her feet, throwing his arms around her waist. "You are an angel of mercy." Rogue popped open the bottle and shook two of the little white pills into her gloved hand. Bobby didn't bother letting go, just tilted his head back and opened his mouth. Rogue dropped them in and he swallowed them dry. The "angel of mercy" then tried to step back. Bobby was less than cooperative.  
  
"Bobby... get offa me. NOW." She stepped back again, more forcefully this time. Unfortunately, Bobby kept a strong hold on her waist, despite that. She was almost tempted to kick him. More like VERY close to kicking him.  
  
"Please..." he muttered into her stomach, holding on for dear life.   
  
"Bobby, Ah'm gonna count ta three, an' if you haven't removed yoah hands from mah body, Ah will lug yoah lifeless body onto the plane mahself."  
  
He looked up to see much venom in her gray-green eyes. So he, in a very smart move, loosened his arms and backed away on his knees. Rogue watched him as she edged out of the room very slowly. Once outside, she pulled the door shut and walked away, trying to wipe the image of Bobby clinging to her free from her mind.  
  
She finished handing out aspirin to the rest of the hungover young mutants before making her way back to Remy's room. Her boyfriend was sprawled across the bed on his back, not moving. She knelt next to him on the bed.  
  
"Ungh."  
  
"Ah brought painkillers."  
  
"I love you." He opened his eyes and gazed at her adoringly. "Y're de best girl any guy could ask f'r."  
  
She grinned at the compliment. "Ah should bring ya drugs more often." He only nodded with a similar smile. "C'mon, sit up." She moved closer so she could help Remy up and he could take the pills. He put them in his mouth while Rogue held a cup up to his lips. She loved being maternal.  
  
After he downed the water, she lowered the cup from his mouth and his lazy grin came back. "Merci, chere."  
  
"Ya're welcome, Remy." Then she noticed a gleam in his eye. She knew that gleam. She tossed the cup behind her and Remy grabbed her. She gave playful shriek and he wrestled her, carefully mind you, down and they ended curled up comfortably together. Rogue spooned against Remy's front. She murmured, "Now this is what Ah was waitin' foh all break."  
  
"I hear dat." He nuzzled against her hair and tightened his arms around her waist. They laid in peaceful silence, until screams started coming in from the hallway.  
  
"Ah have a feelin' Ah DON'T want to know what that's about. Really." There was more screaming, shrieks, and several doors slamming almost simultaneously. Rogue sighed and made to get up. Remy groaned in protest and snuggled closer, sliding a knee intimately between her legs.  
  
Rogue yelped. "Ahh! Gettin' a lil too friendly, aren't ya there, swamp rat?"  
  
"Der's no such t'in' as too friendly wit' you, chere..." he purred. "Besides, y' don' really want t' leave, do y'?" There was just a bit of his charm power behind his words. Remy liked to have his way and he wasn't above using sneaky, underhanded methods to get it. Rogue decided it would be prudent to get up before Remy's hands wandered any further north in an effort to "convince" her to stay... but couldn't quite manage to expend the effort to do so.  
  
TBC... 


	10. A WhiteHaired Reason You Should Lock You...

Outside, in the hall, a certain Quicksilver was on a mission. It was a reluctant mission but still a mission. He wasn't having any luck at all finding the appropriate room to drop off his 'precious cargo' in either.  
  
"Don't you dare peek in it! Just give it to Kitty and leave!" Lance had all but threatened.  
  
Pietro brushed him off and took the small package. He was at the mansion in under five seconds, but it was taking a little longer to find the right girl. The last girl to slam her bedroom door in his face had been slightly indisposed. He recognized her as one of the new girls, younger than the others. Her reddish brown hair was sticking up wildly from her head due to her having just stepped out of the shower. Pietro had caught her in her towel.  
  
"Get outta me room!" She screamed bloody murder. Pietro's eyes went wide for a moment, taking in the sight as quickly as he could (which, as everyone knows, was extremely fast). She slammed the door and he ran again, this time into the room of another one of the new girls. This one he knew as Jubilee from Lance's descriptions.  
  
"What the hell did you do to Rahne?!" She pushed him violently. Once he was on the ground, fireworks sparked on her fingertips.   
  
"Nothing!" He barely dodged a blast of pyrotechnics. He stuck his tongue out at the angry Asian chick. "Missed me! Haha!" he cackled madly and was out the door in a gust of wind.  
  
He opened and closed several doors in rapid succession, still not seeing Kitty and angering several only partially dressed X-Girls in the process. "We are on the hunt for the elusive shadowcat..." he said, imitating the host of the nature documentary he'd just seen on the Discovery Channel while creeping around like a demented version of the Pink Panther on fast forward.  
  
He opened another door and got an eyeful, but this time it wasn't the good kind. "Spiderman?!?! You wear SPIDERMAN underwear?! LOSER! The whole school's gonna hear about this one!!!"  
  
"NOOOO!" The brown-haired boy shrieked as Pietro slammed the door shut. After making a mental note to bring a camera next time he was sent on a run to the mansion, he kept moving along. Seeing only two doors left to check, he chose the closer one. And he couldn't have been prepared to see what was inside.  
  
It seemed as if his feet had been cemented to the floor as he stared in morbid fascination. Jean and Scott were sitting on her bed, kissing very intimately. A small squeak escaped his mouth and adverted the attention of the two lovebirds. Jean's green eyes flared up with fire and her face blushed a deep red the same exact shade of her hair. Without a single word, she flung Pietro out of the room into the wall across the hall and slammed the door. "Thank you!" Pietro hollered back, now happy his perfect eyes weren't being exposed to that horrid sight any longer. 'Boy, do I have things to tell the others,' he thought with a sigh. 'Just one door left, nothing should go wrong,' he told himself.  
  
He opened the door to find Rogue and that Cajun guy on the bed in a position that, had it been pretty much any other couple, would've likely lead to other more "interesting" activities. As it was, even with Rogue's untouchable skin and the necessary clothing between them, the guy seemed to be doing pretty well.  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes towards Pietro's intrusion, an expression of "Ah could give two shits" very apparent. "Somethin' you wanted?" She asked her former teammate, snuggling closer to Remy in the process. Oh yes, she wanted some juice going on about her at the Brotherhood house. Show them who's the ice queen now. Ha!  
  
"I, um..." For once he was speechless. Pietro, Quicksilver, the teenager who could talk more than a fifty words a second, speechless. "Ican'tfindKitty'sroom," he said at a forced speed.  
  
"Y' must've missed it, homme." Remy said to back her up, his nose toying with a couple of her strands. He didn't even bother looking at him. "It's de first room in de hall. Two beds, shares de room wit' ma belle femme here." With that, he moved his hips in a fashion that Pietro almost gulped at. Rogue just breathed out quick, loving the show they were putting on for Pietro.   
  
"Umm... Thanksforyourhelp. I'mouttahere!" He didn't even bother shutting the door this time, he just ran. 'Mental note: Lance is doing his own gift-giving from now on.'  
  
  
  
Rogue turned to Remy. "Ah, told ya we shoulda checked."  
  
  
  
Pietro zipped back down the hall. "I'msoneedingtherapyforthis. Lance,youowemeBIGTIME." He didn't see the ice until he was literally on top of it. Time seemed to slow down as he tried to stop. Unfortunately this time his own momentum was working against him and his feet flew out from under him and he crashed into someone. "Ahhhh!" Thud. "Oww..." He looked down at his victim. It was Kitty.  
  
"Like, get OFF me!"  
  
He was up in a flash and pulling her to her feet. "Here. LoverBoywantedmetogiveyouthis. Don'ttellhimIbruisedyou. IratherlikegoingtosleepknowingI'llwakeupinthemorning," he blurted, shoving the gift at her and turning to leave, leaving Kitty frowning as she tried to translate what he'd said into 'normal person speak'. There stood Evan. They faced off.  
  
"Daniels."  
  
"Maximoff."  
  
Doors were opening on either side of the hall with curious faces peering out. Jamie began humming the music they usually only played for old western showdowns.  
  
Evan wiggled his fingers down by his hip, a spike sliding out into his hand. Pietro mirrored his move (sans the spike) but crouched down, ready to pounce. Kitty just stood behind Pietro, holding the box she had just received. The other X-Girls were gathered around, whispering and giggling secretly while stealing glances at the two 'duelers.'  
  
Pietro rolled his eyes. "Anytime now, Daniels. I haven't got all day." He tapped his watch impatiently. The spike went flying. Pietro dodged easily and it stuck in the wall, quivering. "Is that all you got? Man, I knew you were pathetic but this? This is a new low, even for you." Evan released a flurry of spikes, all of them missing. Evan was now looking slightly ill. "Ruining the decor AND guaranteeing punishment for fighting. Bravo! See ya, see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" He was gone in a blur of silver.  
  
"Evan! What is the meaning of this!" Storm demanded coming up to him, frowning and using that 'I'm very disappointed with you, young man' tone that always made him feel guilty.  
  
"I- He-"  
  
The other students quickly ducked back into the rooms that they'd been previously standing in front of before Ororo could glare at them. Kitty phased through the floor beneath her, still clutching her gift. Down the hall, Rogue had actually clawed herself away from Remy for a split second when she heard the African goddess's voice from down the hallway. She peeked her head out and watched as Evan took the fall.  
  
"What are you going to do about these holes, Evan?" She waved her hand around gracefully, but with a stern look still in her eyes.  
  
"I, um, aww jeez, man..." He plodded away. "I'll go get the spackle from my room and fix 'em up before we leave..." he moaned.  
  
"Good. If you get it done quick enough, I won't mention it to your mother when we get back." She watched him go, and then floated over the still present ice sheet on the floor. She shook her head with a small smile on her face and went up to her room to grab her bags.  
  
  
  
AT THE BROTHERHOOD HOUSE...   
  
There was a slamming of the door and a paler than usual Pietro standing there, panting. "Man, you would not BELIEVE the WEIRD shit that goes on at that place."  
  
"Did you give it to her?" Lance asked impatiently.  
  
Pietro glared at him. "I'm fine. Thanks for asking," the white-haired boy responded sarcastically.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"You have a one-track mind, do you know that?" Lance continued looking at him expectantly. "YES, I gave her the stupid present."  
  
"It isn't stupid," Lance pouted. Pietro sighed.  
  
"So what happened, yo?"  
  
"Yeah, Speedy, enquiring minds wanna know," Tabitha agreed.  
  
"Well, the defenses were a breeze for someone with my superior abilities." Pietro paused to preen and strike a pose while the others rolled their eyes. "Then came the weird part. Practically all the girls were semi-nude which ALMOST but not quite makes up for the mental scarring that occurred afterward."  
  
"You'd better not have seen Kitty naked," Lance growled, the house beginning to shake.  
  
"Hey, chill! The only time I saw her she was completely clothed and this house can't afford to have anymore damage done to it."  
  
"Yeah, save that for the school, yo!" The rumblings subsided.  
  
"So, what did you see?" Freddy asked.  
  
Pietro sniffed theatrically. "It was horrible! Horrible, I tell you!" He covered his eyes in an overly-dramatized fashion.  
  
"Well... are you gonna say it or what, Pietro?" Lance asked, exasperated.  
  
He peeked from behind his hands. "Oh, I wouldn't want to put the images in your heads. It was awful enough for ME to have gone through it, but I will spare you."  
  
"Dammit, Pietro, spill it!" Fred shouted. Tabitha and Todd both crossed their arms over their chests impatiently.  
  
"Alright. But you may want to sit down..." Then he began recounting the events of minutes before. Shock and horror crossed the faces of his teammates, along with laughter over Bobby's under garment choice.  
  
"So, lemme get this straight," Todd held his hands up to stop Pietro from talking for a moment. "Rogue was in bed, with that Cajun guy they picked up awhile ago?" Pietro nodded, his face turning paler than his hair. "Umm... how?"  
  
"I don't know. I've heard things... The kid is crafty. Probably do her some good."  
  
Tabitha rolled her eyes. "At least she isn't pining over Scott anymore. That guy has too many girls fawning over him. Me, I like my guys blue." She grinned while the boys rolled their eyes.  
  
"Speaking of Scott, him and Jean finally got it together, huh?" Fred asked. He quickly added, "Not that I'm jealous or anything. Better him than me, right?"  
  
"Definitely. Let X-Geeks deal within themselves, I mean," he stuttered after receiving glares from both Tabitha and Lance. "Right, like I said, I need to wash my brain out. Later!" And he zipped away.   
  
TBC... 


	11. Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow Sort of

BACK AT THE MANSION...  
  
Jubilee burst into Kitty's room, as usual, without knocking. The other girl was sitting cross-legged on the bed clutching the box that Pietro had delivered to her chest and wearing a dreamy expression.  
  
"Well?! What did he get you?! Spill! We were gawked at by Quicksilver so you could get that!"  
  
The dreamy expression never left her face. "That will teach you to lock your doors," she replied serenely.  
  
Jubilee tried to grab the package out of Kitty's arms, failing as her hands went right through her. She swiped at the intangible girl, frustrated at her inability to do anything other than make idiotic clawing motions at her. "Argh!!!"  
  
Kitty just held the box even tighter. "You know, this really isn't any of your business."  
  
"Of course it is!"  
  
Kitty gave her an unimpressed looked. "Explain," she said flatly.  
  
"Umm, look over there!" She pointed behind Kitty. She didn't move. "Agh, c'mon! I'm dying to know what's in there!"  
  
Kitty shrugged uncaringly. "Oh, well. Just leave. I'll let you know what it is when I open it, alright?!" Her voice rose with each word.  
  
Jubilee backed up slowly. "Okay." She sat down on the floor.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Waiting."  
  
Kitty let out a huge sigh, of aggravation and phased through her bed into the next floor down. Now she would be alone. Jubilee hmphed and picked herself off the floor. "Probably wasn't that cute anyway."  
  
The freshman now was in the dining room, all alone. Hank had been leaving as she dropped in, and she didn't expect him back anytime soon. She pulled off the box, tried of thinking of what it could possibly be. Wrapped in golden tissue paper, with a note attached, was small photo album complete with disposable camera. Kitty was thoroughly intrigued by this so she opened the note.  
  
"Hey, Kitty," it read. "I figured I'd get you this since you don't get to see your parents as much as you would like. Now you can take pictures of all your happy memories and keep them with you all the time." Kitty smiled at his words. Sure, the handwriting was slightly sloppy, but it touched her heart that he'd gone through the trouble to give her that. She read on: "Also... You'll find something else in this box. Look at it before reading on." She obeyed the letter, despite the urge to peek at the folded part.  
  
There was a white tissue wrapped bundle beneath the album. Kitty eyed it curiously before pulling the paper off. Inside was a white satin baby doll nightgown, the lacy hem coming to only mid-thigh and the v-shaped neckline barely decent. Kitty blushed a deep red and was torn between being angry and being flattered. She unfolded the note and began to read the last part.  
  
"If you REALLY want to thank me you can send me a picture of you wearing this... but I won't hold my breath."  
  
Her mouth dropped open for a moment in disgust and shock at his audacity, but then it curled into a mischievous smirk. "I imagine he went through a lot of trouble getting this..."   
  
"Getting what?" Bobby said as he peeked into the dining room.  
  
"Oh no, not you! OUT!" She yelled. Bobby's face went lurid at the booming sound of her normally cheery voice and he left as quickly as he looked in. Kitty's face returned to its dreamy state as she went up to her room.  
  
  
  
Rogue kept herself snuggled into Remy's chest, enjoying his warmth from all parts of his body. He had since fallen asleep, his hangover promising to fade after his nap. Rogue couldn't think of any other more perfect moment than right then...  
  
Except for the knocks on the door.  
  
"Oh Gawd," she mumbled. She glanced over her shoulder to Remy and frowned. He had his arm draped over her protectively and it didn't look like it was ready to give her up without a fight. But she wasn't about to call halfway across the room for the person to come in. That would just wake Remy up.  
  
Sighing, she lifted his arm with ease, which would have been dead weight to someone of normal strength, and quickly ducked out from underneath of him. Placing her pillow for him to hold in the meanwhile, she fought back a chill from being taken away from her heat source and plodded to the door. Whoever was on the other side better have had a good reason for pulling her out of bed.  
  
She opened the door, ready to holler at the person, but looked up into the serene eyes of the resident Beast. Instantly her anger melted and a smile found its way on her face. He was probably one of the few people at the institute she could tolerate on a constant basis.  
  
"Can Ah help ya, Mr. McCoy?"  
  
He smiled pleasantly in return. "I just wanted to let you know that the others are departing shortly. Do you wish to say goodbye to them?"  
  
She nodded. "Ah guess. Ah really don't wanna wake Remy though..." She glanced over her shoulder, where Hank followed her gaze as well. Remy was peacefully sleeping, cuddling with the strategically placed pillow. "He's cute, ain't he?" Rogue grinned up at Beast.  
  
Her teacher raised an eyebrow at her. "Hmm... Quite," he responded with no enthusiasm whatsoever.  
  
Rogue made her way down the stairs, Hank following along behind her, and found a "hug fest" in progress. The girls, despite their hangovers, were embracing and wishing each other a good vacation. The guys were just standing around and trying to look macho. That lasted until the girls decided it was their turn for hugs. The guys of the group were immediately set upon but overly enthusiastic mutant girls who would not rest until they had said their farewells.   
  
Of course, hugging girls was permitted in the Code and a guy was allowed to indulge in such activities. Hugging another guy (save for very rare occasions) was not permitted. In fact it was highly frowned upon and the perpetrator would be meet with disapproving looks and verbal mocking from other members of his gender. The Code was very strict and without it there would be chaos. However, since girls did not live under the Code and therefore could not be expected to understand it they were given special leeway and were known as the exception to nearly every rule. Little did they know the girls had the Rules which were every bit as stringent.  
  
Rogue herself unconsciously followed the Code in certain instances though it had a lot less to do with male posturing than for the safety of others. And she just didn't really like the whole touchy-feely thing, unless it was from Remy. So she just stood by and watched as the other girls tackled the boys. Jamie especially was wincing from all the cheek pinching and hair ruffling he was getting. Rogue felt that had to change.  
  
She walked over to him and knelt down in front of him so he could look down on her. "Ah'll miss ya li'l guy," she admitted. "No hard feelin's about last night, raht?"  
  
He grinned, headache gone. "None at all, Miss Roguey." He pulled her into a hug, which she stiffened at, but then relaxed. The kid was too cute to push away.  
  
Watching from over Bobby's shoulder, whom she was currently hugging, Jubilee got an idea. She pulled away from Bobby, and whispered over to Amara. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"  
  
Amara rolled her eyes. "You just can't get enough of the joking around, huh?"  
  
"You know me too well, girl. C'mon, tell Rahne and Kit. I think as long as Jean doesn't jump her she'll be good-hearted about it."  
  
Amara sighed in defeat. "Fine." She walked away from Roberto and over to Rahne and Sam. She avoided Kitty and Kurt since they seemed to be arguing about something.  
  
"How many times have I told you not to, like, 'port in my room uninvited?!" She heard Kitty shrieking.  
  
"I should ask you vhat you vere vearing!" Kurt shouted in response. Amara just shook her head and whispered the plan of attack to Rahne. The wolfgirl was up for the idea, and wordlessly volunteered to tell Kitty.  
  
"If ye don't mind me fer buttin' in... I have t' steal Kitty from ye, Kurt," she smiled that innocent smile that worked on all the guys and pulled Kitty away. She had a redness to her cheeks, though Rahne couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment.  
  
Rogue glanced up the stairs wondering if it was how safe to leave Remy alone in her room for much longer. Sure he'd LOOKED asleep, but normally, even sleeping, he noticed if she left him. So that made her wonder if he'd merely been waiting for a chance to do God alone knew what in her room while she was absent. That thought gave birth to a host of other paranoid theories and consequently Rogue was paying less attention to her surroundings than she should have been.  
  
She was unprepared for roar that rivaled the warriors in "Braveheart" and the sight of all the Institute girls (with the exception of Jean who was still happily making out with Scott) rushing toward her. "GROUP HUG!!!!!!!"  
  
"Ack!! Get OFF!" She told the mass of constricting arms.  
  
"But Roguey we LOOOOOOVE yoooooou!!!!!" Jubilee replied, clinging to her.  
  
Rogue was very, very disturbed by that point. A highly social person she was not and that coupled with her instincts against ANYONE (except perhaps Remy) getting that up close and personal her set off certain defense mechanisms.  
  
She rose about half a dozen feet into the air.  
  
The girls had not let go.  
  
Rogue wasn't above clawing and thrashing to get them off, but she didn't want anyone to have to go home with bruises and arms in slings and they would if she did what she had in mind. Instead, she wiggled a bit but the girls were still successfully clutching onto her. "Are you guys done yet?" Breathing hard and watching everything move around her, including the snickers of the other guys, she noticed Ray coming down the steps. He caught sight of what was happening to Miss No-Touchy and burst out laughing. He doubled over and almost fell down the steps. Rogue glared in his direction and her mind sparked with an idea.  
  
She lowered to the ground, the girls still not letting up on their hold of her. They just held her tight, making little cooing noises. "Hey, gals... Ray hasn't gotten a hug goodbye yet... Ah think he's feelin' left out." Jubilee was the first to let go and saw him freeze at the sound of his name.  
  
He shook his head, his eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. "Ohhh, no. You're not gettin' me!" He dropped his bag and dashed back up the steps, tripping slightly.  
  
The girls were reluctant to chase after him since he wouldn't be as fun to hug as Rogue... but it would embarrass the hell out of him. "Onward, girls!" Jubilee shouted and ran after him. He let out a yelp and scrambled up the steps some more. Rahne shape shifted to cut him off at the top of the steps while the other girls caught up.   
  
A loud thump was heard to those who didn't get a nice glimpse of the girls tackling poor Ray to the ground. Bobby winced and looked away. "Ouch, man..."  
  
Evan shuddered. "Glad it's not me..."  
  
"Well, he DID laugh at Rogue. We all know you NEVER laugh at Rogue if you value your life and/or sanity," Kurt pointed out. Everyone turned to look at Bobby.  
  
"What?! I know better!"  
  
"Ya do NOW," Sam muttered rolling his eyes.  
  
Then... "NO! NO!!! NOT THAT!! PLEASE!!! NOOOO!!!" There were desperate pleas mixed discordantly with the sounds of uncontrollable laughter.  
  
"He showed weakness," Roberto said sadly shaking his head.  
  
"Baaaaad idea," they intoned in unison.  
  
"OH, GOD STOP!!! NO!!! NOT THE STOMACH!!! MERCY!!!"  
  
Wild giggling came from the top of the steps, including that of Ray. He finally succumbed to the wiggling fingers of the girls and stopped fighting their hands away. He nearly had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Amara had ripped off his shoe, reluctantly mind you, and was flicking at his toes, while Kitty and Jubilee claimed his stomach. Rahne tickled around his neck and ears. He was flailing wildly, and he would no doubt be sore after whipping his body back and forth from trying to escape.  
  
"You give up yet, Ray?" Jubilee laughed, her fingers prodding his side.  
  
He only nodded, biting his lip to the point of bleeding to keep from laughing anymore. Rahne brushed a fur tipped finger by his face again. "Aww, but we figured ye were havin' so much fun..."   
  
Below, Rogue was ascending up the stairs, dipping down to pick up Ray's bag. She made it to the top and hovered over the girls, where they instantly stopped, as if waiting for a command. She had a sinister grin to her features. "Thank you, girls. Now Ray," she looked pointedly at him. "What did we learn taday that you'll tell yoah friends when ya get home?" Her grin faded and she looked at him almost innocently. Almost.  
  
"Don't mess with the Rogue?" He squeaked. He had heard stories, oh yes.  
  
"Good boy." She tossed him his bag. "See ya when ya get back." She winked and flew over him back toward her room. As a second thought, she paused at the top, floating. "Bye ya'll. Have fun!"  
  
Ray watched her swoop away from his position on the floor. Sighing, he stood up and dusted himself off, a fine aura of electricity crackling over him in self-defense that was a little late. The girls still sat on the floor, watching him get ready to go downstairs and giving him identical sad faces. Rahne had shifted back to complete human form, the better to pout with. "Aww, c'mere," he said, the blue-white energy fading. They got up with glee and ran over to him for another hug. "Gently!" They nodded and shared another hug with him, sincere this time.  
  
Everyone finished their goodbyes and were herded into taxis by a very serene Ororo.  
  
  
  
ELSEWHERE...  
  
Logan was not nearly as serene. In fact it wasn't really a stretch to call him downright cranky. He was in a nearby town busy frightening the shop owner and buying out of anything over 100 proof.  
  
"Yeah, I'll take a case of that... and that... and that..."  
  
"Um... Sir, are you sure you want all of those?" It was as close as he was willing to come to saying "I don't think you have the money pay for everything" to the rather dangerous looking man invading his store.  
  
"Do I look like some kind of head case to you?" he snarled.  
  
The shop owner realized that while saying "yes" would be truthful it was not exactly a wise idea.  
  
Logan counted over his various bottles: Bicardi 151, Johnny Walker Red, Moonshine, a brand new bottle of Everclear he would hide with extra care, and some good ol' fashioned gin and Canadian whiskey. He had a couple six-packs of Jager for the lighter days too. He figured that would hold him over for a while until he found a good place to hide it and could come back for the more exotic stuff.   
  
A feral grin spread on his face as he pulled out his charge card set aside specifically for the store. The owner took it and his eyes widened with fear. "Ah, yes, Mr. Logan. I can't believe I didn't recognize you..."  
  
"Just ring the stuff up," Logan grunted.   
  
The shop owner's hand shook as he handed back the card. There had been rumors about the man standing in front of him. None of them were very clear except in two respects: 1) whatever you do DON'T piss him off, and 2) when he buys alcohol he buys it by the truckload so just shut up and you'll make some money. No one knew what happened when you violated the rules and that was the most ominous of all.  
  
Not knowing how to bag the various bottles up, since there was just too much to put into the shop's regular paper bags. The owner reached under the counter and presented a large cardboard box to Logan, who nodded in approval. Quickly but carefully, the owner piled the bottles into the box. When he was through, he gently pushed the box towards Logan's side of the counter and wished him a good day. Logan grunted his thanks and propped the box under his arm. As soon as he was out the door, an excited grin took over his face. "Merry Christmas to me."  
  
  
  
AT THE AIRPORT...  
  
The hungover young mutants were standing in a line looking rather forlorn as their baggage was checked and rechecked and they were searched. The security detail was even making people take off their shoes. Though the aspirin that Rogue had given them alleviated the worst of their misery none of them were particularly happy and tempers were shot.  
  
Ray growled as another security guard all but ripped open his carry on and emptied its contents, including gifts for his parents and kid sister. Now, Ray wasn't seen as a sentimental guy on the team, but he did have a special soft spot for family. Amara put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay," she whispered. "Don't spaz out at them, it'll only cause more trouble than it's worth." Amara herself, however, was containing her anger as well. She kept her hands balled at her side, because she knew if given the opportunity, she would have rubbed them together and blown the damn security guards away with a nicely sized ball of flame.  
  
Feeling responsible still for the younger students, Scott spoke up. "Is it really this necessary? I mean," he motioned towards Ray's dismantled bag. "He just has Christmas gifts for his family."  
  
The security guard looked at Scott, his cold dark brown eyes seeing right through Cyke's sunglasses. "Don't question us, kid. This is the law."  
  
Ray had had enough. He walked up to one of the other guards and poked him in the chest "Look, I'm fighting a very painful headache right now, and if my sister's porcelain bunny cracked in any possible way, I will make sure to come directly back to this gate when I return and I will personally fry your ass. Got it?!" Smoke sizzled from where his finger connected with the guard's blue uniform.  
  
"Ray..." The professor warned from the back. Ray ignored him, continuing his staring contest with the other man.  
  
The guard stepped back, looking oddly at Ray, his confidence waning slightly... but only slightly. His first and immediate thought what the majority of sane people think when confronted with something they can't explain: 'I must have imagined it.'  
  
His brief moment of uncertainty gone he grabbed Ray by the front of the shirt. "Look, you little punk, I've been dealing with your kind for longer than you've been alive. And I've had it up to here-"  
  
Ray looked about ready to blow. The professor sighed and both the hotheaded mutant and the guard stepped back from each other, their expressions blanking.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir."  
  
"Quite alright, son." Then they both seemed to come back to themselves looking vaguely confused.  
  
The other guards frowned in suspicion. The professor just sighed and shook his head. The lead guard waved them through. "Go on, now. You're okay."  
  
Rahne bent down and picked up the jewelry box that had fallen out of Ray's bag. "Here ye go." She smiled wolfishly at him, bringing him back to normal. He went to snatch it from her, but Rahne meant no harm, so he just let her drop it into his hand.  
  
"Thanks," he looked away from her dejectedly and picked up the rest of his bag. The others followed suit. Once each mutant had his or her carry-on, it was time to go to their separate gates.  
  
"Farewell, my students, and try not to get into too much trouble." They all called out their agreement and waved their goodbyes. Xavier turned back to Ororo. "Have a nice trip, Ororo. The limo should have arrived by now. I'll return home and see what kind of damage has been done in my absence." He sighed heavily.  
  
"Logan WAS supposed to be watching them."  
  
"Theoretically," he added with a wry smile. "If he actually stayed there."  
  
"How much trouble can they really get into, Charles? Hank is there, even if Logan did leave. I am sure he was able to keep some semblance of order."  
  
"Hmm... Perhaps."  
  
TBC... 


	12. Holiday Greetings from the Brotherhood

BACK AT THE MANSION...  
  
"Now, Hank," Rogue stood with a hand on her hip. "Ah figured we would be the ones startin' trouble. Not you." She grinned as smoke rose off of the bouncing blue beast's fur.  
  
He stared in awe at what was supposed to be simple sugar cookies in the shape of Christmas trees. All that was left now were just tiny piles of burnt pastry, some still on fire. Hank prided himself to be a great cook. "I don't know what could have occurred to cause them to combust as they did." A snicker filled the air and he whipped around to see Remy lounging against the table.  
  
"Wasn' me. Swear!" He put his hand up, much like a boy scout would.  
  
Hank wasn't impressed. "To take the word of a thief? Honestly, Remy."  
  
"Now, Hank..." Rogue took Remy's side and ruffled his already disheveled hair. "If Remy said he didn't do it, then he didn't, raht? You wouldn't like it if Ah falsely accused you of... let's say, rearranging my closet and mixin' my boots with mah, umm... other boots, because you have no reason foh it, correct?"  
  
He hung his head. "I suppose you're right..."  
  
"It's okay," Rogue said, putting a hand on his shoulder, rubbing out the tiny flame on his apron before it could spread.  
  
"I don't suppose the two of you would like to help me cle-" Hank stopped in mid-sentence as the two teenagers had mysteriously vanished. "No, of course not," he muttered to himself.  
  
  
  
Back in the safty of Remy's room (or rather the relative safety, since this WAS Remy's room), the two sank down on the bed. Rogue looked over and frowned at her still snickering boyfriend.  
  
"Ya're the one who toasted Hank's cookies." It was less a question than a statement.  
  
He looked at her, expression utterly without guilt. "Non, I wasn', an' I can't believe y'd ask me dat. I'm hurt."  
  
"Now, Rem... Ya wouldn't be lying ta me, now, would ya?" She glared at him intently, searching for the truth.  
  
"Don' let dis mess up our break t'get'er, chere..."  
  
"You did it! Didn't you?! An' after Ah defended ya too!" She stood up abruptly, hands flying down to sit on her hips. Remy gulped and sank into the bed further.  
  
"I didn' t'ink it was gon' blow up completely!"  
  
"You know what ya're gonna hafta do now." She turned her back to him and sauntered to the door.  
  
After a moment of staring at her behind sway, he brought himself back to the situation. "Oui.." he sighed. He stood up and followed her out the door. "Gotta warn y', dough. I'm a horrible cook."  
  
"Raht," she responded uncaringly. "C'mon, Swamp Rat. Ya owe him." She tugged at his hand forcefully and he almost stumbled, but being the agile thief he was, caught himself. 'An' t' t'ink I wonder why de guys say I'm de bitch in dis relationship...' he sighed to himself as he trailed behind her.  
  
The kitchen door swung open and Hank looked up in surprise. "And to what do I owe the honor?" He took in the rather despondent expression on Remy's face and the smile on Rogue's  
  
"Remy's gonna help ya," Rogue told him with a breezy smile as she brushed off one of the counters with a paper towel and perched there, legs crossed. Remy immediately looked happier, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Rogue.  
  
Hank scrutinized the grin that magically appeared on Remy's face. "Should I ask why he's suddenly perkier?"  
  
Rogue smiled evilly. "He thinks he's gettin' some after he makes this up ta you." She didn't mind that Hank was her instructor. She had opened up about a lot in her time with the X-Men. And besides, thanks to the spying that took place earlier, she was sure everyone knew, so what's the harm in joking about it?  
  
Beast looked slightly uncomfortable with the comment and turned to the freshly cleaned bowls and mixers. Remy just looked at her, worry edging in his crimson eyes. His expression asking "Y' mean I'm not?"  
  
She matched his look with one of her own that said, "Now, what do ya think ya're gettin'?" When his face fell completely, she flashed him a smile that was easily read as "Now you're just assumin' the worst..." She shook her head, stifling a laugh. "What am Ah ta do with you?" She said aloud.  
  
Hank looked back over his shoulder, his glance flicking between the two teens. "Did I miss something?"  
  
Rogue stared at him, feigning innocence. "Not a thing. Get ta work, Remy." She smiled encouragingly and waved her hand in an imperious gesture.  
  
"Oui, maîtresse," he muttered.  
  
"What was that, Swamp Rat?"  
  
"Not'in'."  
  
"No, Ah'm definately sure Ah heard ya say somet'in'." Rogue glared at him.  
  
Hank, being smart man that he was, had already figured out that Remy was, in fact, the culprit and was most probably being forced to help him by Rogue. He debated the relative merits of revenge and smiled, not quite a reassuring sight with the fairly recent addition of fangs.  
  
"Actually what he said was-" Remy gave him a pleading look. "Why so distressed, my Cajun friend? Do you not want our southern belle to know what you called her?"  
  
'Payback is a bitch,' Remy thought with a wince.  
  
"Ah'd greatly appreciate knowin' what he called me." Rogue gave Remy a significant look. Remy pretended not to see.  
  
Hank grinned and handed him a measuring cup, changing the subject. "I need two cups of flour. Pour them into this bowl," he instructed, motioning to the needed items. Remy nodded and glanced back at Rogue. A triumphant smile lit up her face as she sipped from a mug of cocoa that had appeared while his back was turned. She almost choked on it while laughing to herself. Remy growled internally, not liking this one bit. He dipped the measuring cup into the flour, tapping it off so it was level and repeated the motion.  
  
"Good job, Remy," Hank commented.  
  
Rogue applauded behind him. "See, you can do this." She smiled patronisingly.  
  
Remy flexed his hand to his side where Rogue couldn't see. Aching to do something stupid, just to see if he could royally piss her off, was very tempting. But would it ruin his break... He contemplated what would happen and decided with a smirk 'Eh, screw it!'  
  
He turned and threw the contents with unerring accuracy, covering Rogue in the powdery white stuff. Then he did what any smart person would do. He ran.  
  
Rogue let loose an enraged shriek, giving chase. "REMY!!!!"  
  
"Oh dear," Hank muttered, dodging nimbly out of the way as Rogue flew full force at him.  
  
"You are so gonna get it, Gumbo!" She growled, unknowingly using Logan's name for him.  
  
Hearing that, Remy suddenly realized that that may not have been the smartest thing he'd ever done. Once again, he weighed some options in his head. If he were to stop, would Rogue mercilessly beat the shit out of him, or would he be able to flash his eyes at her as he'd done so many times before and get out of it? With a glance back he decided that running was the best thing for him... Rogue was quickly gaining on him.  
  
She flew at him in a powdery cloud, most of the flour forced off with her speed. She saw Remy reach the front door and he swung it open completely, without bothering to look if someone was standing there. But in fact there was. It was the Brotherhood.  
  
Remy managed to dodge to the side in time but Rogue was not so lucky. She hadn't discovered the concept of air brakes yet so going from high speed to a sudden stop was as yet beyond her abilities. She went slamming into Fred and bounced back, dazed even with her invulnerability.  
  
"Ugh..." she moaned from the floor, shaking her head.  
  
Pietro laughed. "Now that's not something you see everyday... The Rogue knocked flat on her ass..."  
  
She glared from her position on the floor, eyes blaring green from underneath the layer of white.  
  
"Looks like Roguey was playing in the kitchen, too," Todd taunted.  
  
Remy stared at them in disbelief. "How did y' all get by de security?"  
  
Fred stepped out of the way and Remy glanced through the door. It seemed as if everything had been disabled either by quick hands or a nice rumbling. Remy probably would have felt the ground shaking if he hadn't been running for his life.  
  
Lance stepped over to Rogue and helped her up. She jerked her hand out of his once she was steady and continued glaring at all the boys in the room. She pointed at Remy. "You Ah'll deal with later." She swung around to point at the others. "An' what do y'all want?"  
  
"Rogue... I'm hurt." Pietro walked up to her and placed a friendly arm around her shoulder. She stood perfectly still, waiting for him to give her a good reason to kick his ass. Otherwise, she'd let Remy take care of him.  
  
"That doesn't explain shit, Speedy," Tabitha said, peeking finally from behind Fred. "We figured that since the rest of you X-Ge... People weren't gonna be around, we could take advantage of the extra food and such that would be left behind."  
  
Rogue shrugged herself out from under Pietro's arm and stood next to Remy. "Just like that? You figured it was that easy?"  
  
Todd nodded innocently.   
  
"Why me?" she muttered, gazing upward.  
  
Remy opened his mouth to answer, then thought better of it. He'd already pissed her off enough for one day. If he let her take out her bad mood on the Brotherhood he'd be that much farther ahead.  
  
Rogue rose into the air slightly and spun quickly, shaking off all the flour onto the boys, snickering at their complaints.  
  
"Hey!" Todd whined. "I actually showered to come to this place an' now I'm a mess again, yo!"  
  
Lance pinched his nose. "It doesn't smell that much different, buddy."  
  
Rogue just shook her head and couldn't believe what she was about to do. "Y'all can stay the day, Ah guess. Jus' please don't go nuts! Wouldn't it be nice if Xavier had something positive ta say about yoah attitudes?"  
  
"Roguey went soft," Pietro teased, gaining a chuckle out of Fred and Lance.  
  
Rogue's eyebrows rose at the comment. Remy shook his head, sighing and thinking. 'Baaaad idea.'  
  
"Soft? You think Ah've gone soft?! Ah'll show you who's gone soft! Hmm... Now where did Kitty put the disks with those pictures?" Rogue frowned in thought. "I know she made several copies and took one with her... Oh! I know!" She flew off in the direction of the room she shared with the younger girl.  
  
Remy just stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his face neutral. He watched as Tabby poked Pietro. "So this is the Cajun guy you saw Rogue in bed with, hmm?" She had a hint of lust in her eyes.  
  
"Yup," he answered.  
  
"You didn't mention anything about him being hot," she whispered, still staring at Remy.  
  
Pietro stomped his foot. "All right! Contrary to popular belief, I'm straight! I like women! I would not notice suchathingdammit!" He pointed a finger at Remy. "Daniels started the rumors, didn't he? I'll kill him..."   
  
Tabitha stroked his arm soothingly. "It's alright, Speedy. I love ya anyway."  
  
Remy fought the urge to laugh at Pietro's outburst, and also to tell him that Evan HAD said stuff. It would be fun to see that fight.  
  
Before he could say a thing, Rogue came soaring down the steps again. "Alraht. If ya would be so kind as ta follow me, you'll find out that the Rogue has, in fact, NOT gone soft." She growled the last word as if it were an immortal sin. The Brotherhood glanced at each other warily and made no move to follow her. She lighted gracefully and smiled, all sugary sweet. "What's wrong? Ya'll don't wanna see our little... project?" She smirked and sashayed up the stairs. The boys looked at each other, shrugged and followed.  
  
They found Rogue sitting at a computer, with a list of files in front of her. "So what's this 'project' you wanted to show us, Rogue?" Lance asked.  
  
"Well, your girlfriend DID help. She's gonna make a web page but didn't have time before she left." There was a decidedly evil smirk on her face.  
  
Remy suddenly had a feeling where this was going. "Oh, y' didn'... Y' didn' take pictures, did y'? Have y' no mercy?"  
  
She turned and stared blankly at him. "Remy, we've been through this so many times befoh. An' the answer is always the same: nope!" She faced the monitor again, waving the mouse. "Someone pick a file."  
  
Lance shook his head at Remy, which the Cajun easily recognized as a degrading motion for 'whipped'. 'Dis has t' stop!' he internally huffed. Lance reached over Rogue's shoulder and pointed to a random picture on the screen. She doubled clicked it and a picture appeared within seconds.  
  
"Oh my god!" Tabby cried, ushering herself closer to the screen.  
  
The first picture happened to be Bobby dressed in drag, sans make-up. "That is seriously wacked!" Todd burst out.  
  
Rogue smiled proudly. "Ah know." She sat back, looking like the cat that ate the canary.  
  
Tabby grinned at her. "May I?" she asked gesturing toward the mouse.  
  
"Go ahead," Rogue offered generously. The next picture was of Bobby in his Spider-Man underwear. "Now we had nothin' ta do with that one," she told the group.  
  
"I saw that kid earlier!" Pietro exclaimed. He stole the mouse from Tabitha with lightning speed and clicked 'print'. It printed out a few seconds later (because of course the Institute has the best technological equipment) and he folded it neatly and placed it in his back pocket.  
  
"Pietro, Ah'm surprised at you," Rogue said with narrowed eyes.  
  
"What did I do?" he asked quizzically.   
  
"You didn't make extra copies!" Fred answered for her. Rogue grinned at him and took the mouse back, proceeding to make another fifteen copies.   
  
"Wouldn't want ta miss out on the vibrant colors that normal Xerox machines skip out on, raht?" Rogue smiled innocently. "Still think Ah'm soft?"  
  
"I take it back," Pietro told her, holding up his hands defensively.   
  
Tabby leaned forward and clicked again. It was a of the pictures of Bobby tied to the table in women's clothing and make-up. "Ooooh! Rogue you such a BAAAAAD girl! What are you doing with these Geeks again?"   
  
"Let's see... Mystique lied through her teeth ta me... Living conditions are better..." She paused to smirk at Remy. "The view is extremely nice... Gee, I dunno..."  
  
"Don't you think you'd fit in better with us, though?" she continued.  
  
Rogue sighed. "Did ya come over ta spread some Christmas cheer or ta re-recruit me?"  
  
"Sorry," she huffed. She glanced warily to the others and they just looked away whistling. They knew the story. Remy reached in and clicked on a photo, trying to break the tension that had suddenly stirred up. It was a picture of him, a nice zoom in on his backside.  
  
"What's dis?!" He pointed at the screen.  
  
"Umm..." Rogue examined it well, after casting a harsh glare at Tabby for drooling. "That was when you came down foh a drink." She smirked. "Couldn't help mahself..." A blush crept up her neck.  
  
"I feel so violated..."   
  
Lance rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. That's like Tabby saying SHE feels violated."  
  
"Hey!" Remy and Tabby responded in unison, glaring at Lance. The others laughed.  
  
"Woah, you managed to piss off two people with one sentence. Go, Lance!" Fred said admiringly.  
  
Rogue turned to glare at Lance as well. "What was that, Lance? You wanted humiliatin' pictures of yoahself, too? Ah have ways of gettin' 'em an' Ah have no problem showin' 'em ta yoah precious Kitty Kat." Lance gulped. "That's what Ah thought. Now, no more makin' fun o' Remy." A hmph came from Tabitha. "Fine, Tabby too." Tabby proceeded to stick her tongue out at Lance in triumph.  
  
Todd snickered quietly again at Lance. "Mind if I click, yo?"  
  
Rogue pushed the mouse towards him. "Be mah guest. Just don't -"  
  
"I know, I know. This shit's expensive so I won't slime it. Geez." He clicked the mouse on yet another random file. The Bobby Ice Sculpture had now made its debut.  
  
Fred covered his eyes. "Click it off, click it off!!!"  
  
Todd was about to do so when Tabby slapped his hand away. "No! Keep it on, keep it on!!!"  
  
Lance buried his head in his hands. "I'm not saying a word."  
  
"I think yuck is appropriate," Pietro said with a grimace.  
  
Remy grinned. "Y' wouldn' have said dat if y' say de statues de icecube made... of the girls."  
  
"Okay, that is the last time Ah stick up foh you, EVAH again."  
  
Remy pouted, eyes blazing at her with hidden messages. 'Wouldn' want her mad at me again.'  
  
Rogue swallowed loudly and turned away. 'Must not let him pull that on me... It's the only thing that gets ta me...' Once she regained her composure, she swung the chair around and faced the group. Todd clicked the window shut since Rogue hadn't done so yet. Fred peeked through his hands at the sound and lowered them once it was clear. "Do Ah need ta prove anythin' else?"  
  
"I think you're still the same old Rogue... with a bit of cayenne pepper these days," Pietro admitted, stealing a glance at Remy.  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "Cute. Real cute. That's the kind o' 'cute' that can get ya in some real trouble..."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "You'd have to catch me first."  
  
"You think so?" Her smile widened. "Care to bet on it?"  
  
"Um... no?"  
  
"That's a good boy. Ah see yoah still the smart one of the house." Her eyes relaxed and she stood up. The boys took a generous step back, while Tabitha just stared at them like they were insane.  
  
"What are you doin', Rogue?" Lance asked, putting his arms up to create a barrier between him and her.   
  
Rogue opened her arms wide, to which Todd visibly winced at as if being hit, and grinned. "Ah missed you guys! Don't Ah even get a hug?" She pouted.  
  
Tabby smacked her palm to her forehead. "These are the big, strong, manly men I live with... afraid of a girl."  
  
"A girl with deadly skin and a literal kiss of death!" Pietro pointed out, from behind Fred.  
  
Remy slunk up behind her. "Oh, I dunno, she's pretty kis-"  
  
Rogue turned and poked Remy in the chest with her forefinger. "Ya still ain't outta the doghouse, Mistah, so don't ya be tryin' nothin'! And don't think I cain't find out what ya called me earlier, 'cause Ah will!" She turned back to the others. "So how about it? Where's mah Christmas hug?" She smiled slyly, particularly at Pietro.  
  
"Aww, geez, why not." He stepped into her arms and wrapped her in a hug. Remy glared with heat at Rogue over Pietro's shoulder but that didn't last long. Suddenly, and quicker than Pietro imagined she could move, she had him in a headlock. He struggled a bit, but he was no match for her strength. The other boys backed up, knowing she was going to pull something like this. Tabitha just watched in pure admiration. "If you ever," she warned hotly, annunciating every word so her accent diminished. "Say I've gone soft again, don't plan on waking up... ever... if my hand comes near that perfect skin of yours." She dropped him abruptly and dusted her hands off on her pants.   
  
"Ouch." Pietro mumbled on the floor, rubbing his neck where her sweater had burned into his skin.  
  
"Well," Rogue started. "Hank's makin' cookies. Would ya like some?" Without waiting for a response, she skipped out of the room.   
  
Remy warily followed, casting a glance back at the astonished Brotherhood. "Tis de season, mon amis. C'mon."  
  
TBC... 


	13. Memories or Blackmail?

The Brotherhood and Remy entered the kitchen to see Rogue seated once again on one of the counters swinging crossed legs and munching on one of the cookies. Hank turned at the sound of the door opening and blinked. The Brotherhood was also a bit startled, not having seen their teacher since his transformation. There was silence for a moment.  
  
"Well, this is unexpected," Hank said with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Hi, Mr. McCoy," they said in unison. This earned them another raised eyebrow and somewhat suspicious look. There was another moment of silence while they appraised each other.  
  
"Would any of you care for some cookies?" There was a mad rush toward the sheets of cooling goodies.  
  
Pietro, of course, reached the tray first and ducked out of the way from his teammates, especially Fred. He sat up on the counter by Rogue and took a bite one of the five he'd grabbed. "Hmm..." he said close to her ear. "These are pretty good."  
  
Rogue glared straight ahead. "Ya know," she started, "It's too bad you're all talk."  
  
"Are you baiting me?"  
  
She turned quickly, her mouth inches from his own. "What if Ah was?" She licked her lips and kept her eyes on his lips, which thinned out in uncertainty.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Oh, please." She pushed him off the counter roughly, and looked at Remy. She patted the counter, which he proceeded to walk over the fallen Pietro on the tiled floor. He took a seat next to her, wrapping an arm around her possessively.   
  
"Do y' really have t' do dat?" he asked, anger slightly leaking into his voice.  
  
"Aww, Remy. Ah only have eyes foh you, ya know that." She kissed her fingertip and pushed it to his lips. He kissed it, a grin chasing away any previous jealousy.  
  
Todd made gagging motions in between scarfing down cookies. Pietro looked miffed before an evil glint came into his eye and he burst into song. "I ooooonly haaaaave eeeeeeys fooooor yoooooou...." Everyone winced as he hit a high note.  
  
Tabitha glared and threw an energy bomb at him, which he managed to dodge, barely. It left a black scorch mark on the tiles. "No singing!"  
  
"Hey! Just cause you have no taste..." Tabitha made another energy ball.  
  
"Children! Will you PLEASE refrain from further damaging the kitchen?"  
  
Embarrassed, Tabitha looked at the energy ball in her hand. "Umm..."  
  
Rogue put up her hand. "Ah'll keep it from blowin'."  
  
Tabitha tossed it as instructed and Rogue held in it her two hands, her invulnerability keeping her from harm when it exploded lightly in her hand. She dusted it off like nothing, except that her gloves now had nicely sized holes in each of the palms. "Dammit," she muttered, getting up from the counter. "Ah'll be back. Keep an' eye on 'em, Hank." She smiled and left the room.   
  
Tabitha followed her out. "Hey, Rogue!" she called, catching up to her on the steps. Rogue stopped and waited for her. "I just wanted to talk... ya know, seeing as how we're the only Bayville babes left for the holiday."  
  
"Sure..." Rogue looked at her uneasily. "Are ya plannin' somethin'?"  
  
"Not at all, Roguey Roo." She placed a friendly arm around her shoulder as Rogue led them up the steps. "Soooo... tell me about this Remy guy."  
  
"Whaddya wanna know about him?"   
  
"You think I'm gonna try something with him?"  
  
"Ah wouldn't be surprised."  
  
"Rogue, I'm hurt! Really, I just want some gossip. I live in a house with guys. I'm deprived!" she pleaded.  
  
"Agh, Ah cain't bare ta listen ta whinin'... Fine, c'mon," she relented.  
  
  
  
The males of the house blinked, watching as the females disappeared, chatting like old friends.  
  
"Um... It is a good idea for them to be alone together?" Fred ventured cautiously.  
  
"Non."  
  
"Should we be worried?" Lance asked him.  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Well, they do say the females are the deadliest of any species," Hank commented.  
  
They younger males turned to look at him. He shrugged innocently before looking down and concentrating on mixing the next batch of cookie dough, chocolate-chocolate chip. His own recipe.  
  
Fred snatched another sugar cookie and munched happily, trying his best not to scatter crumbs on the floor. "So..." he mumbled with his mouth still full. "What do we do now?"  
  
"Yeah, Cajun," Pietro asked, dusting himself off from the floor, slighting embarrassed. "What is there to do around here?"  
  
"Not a damn t'ing. Me an' Roguey always slip out," Remy said, shrugging nonchalantly.  
  
Lance chuckled. "Sounds like the same old Rogue to me. Hasn't changed a bit."  
  
"Not in the least..." Pietro chortled.   
  
Remy quirked an eyebrow. "What y' mean?"  
  
Todd snickered. "We're not implyin' anythin'."  
  
Remy was beginning to get irritated. "Like hell y' are'nt. What're y' gettin' at?"  
  
"Rogue was a Brotherhood chick," Lance told him. Red on black eyes stared at him, unchanged.  
  
"Ev'ryone knows dat. Even de new kids."  
  
"But did you know what she did as a Brotherhood chick?" Lance asked.  
  
Remy's lips tightened as he thought it over. Rogue never really told him much of anything of them. "Not really..."  
  
"Oh, then do we have stories to tell you!" Fred laughed. Remy wasn't sure if he was suddenly frightened that he was going to find out some strange things out about Rogue, or that he was going to have a civil conversation with eighty percent of the Brotherhood.  
  
  
  
"So, it's really not mah place ta tell...." she told Tabitha.  
  
"No Remy dirt?"  
  
"No Remy dirt," Rogue affirmed.  
  
"Aw..." Tabitha pouted.  
  
"Ah've absorbed most of the people livin' here and most o' the Brotherhood at one time o' another. Ya want dirt? Ah have the inside scoop." Rogue smirked as the other girl's eyes lit up.  
  
"Jean?"  
  
"Oh, yeah."  
  
  
  
"What kind o'... stories?" Remy asked hesitantly. He was curious yes, but also wary.  
  
"Weeell, there was the time she absorbed Pietro and found Toad's pixie sticks," Fred elaborated thoughtfully.  
  
Lance shuddered. "Man, that was baaaad..." Images of Rogue running around the entire Brotherhood manor, shrieking that she was the Pixie Princess and that all sugary substances should bow to her was not a memory that he looked upon fondly. The girl was normally scary, but nothing was more terrifying than the Rogue on a sugar high.  
  
Remy shrugged it off, not catching exactly how traumatizing it was. "Y' haven' seen her drunk, have y'? I'm sure she's just as crazy."  
  
"Not impressed, tough guy?" Pietro scowled. "How's this: do you know what she left at our house?" Remy shook his head. "She left a nice trunk of things... full of stuff that she'd brought up from Caldecott. Lance peeked in once after she left..."  
  
"God, this was scary," Lance shuddered again.  
  
"Pictures. Interesting pictures."  
  
Remy looked at him quizzically. "O' what?"  
  
"Your Rogue was put through dance school, buddy. Pink tutus and all."  
  
Remy's eyebrows shot up under his hair. "..."  
  
"What? You don't believe us?!" Lance growled, seeing the look of disbelief.  
  
"Non. I don' believe dat y' have possession o' dose pictures an' haven' blackmailed her yet."  
  
"This is ROGUE we're talking about. Firstly, no one would believe us. Secondly, if she found out we would be worse than dead. She's absorbed all of us. Talk about dirt... and she has ways of proving it." Pietro looked vaguely apprehensive.  
  
"Well, it DOES explain how flexible she is..."  
  
"Oh, man! Too much information!" Todd made a face. The others laughed.  
  
"So why y' tellin' me all dis if y're so afraid o' what she knows about y'?"  
  
"Because right now she's upstairs with Tabitha and most likely spilling her guts about us. If we have to suffer so does she," Pietro pointed out logically. "Hmm... What else? I don't think you've grasped the tortures we've gone through because of her..."  
  
  
  
Upstairs, Rogue had exposed Jean's most embarrassing moment, gushed completely about Pietro's wildest dreams and was moving onto Lance. Tabitha sat, wide-eyed, her face seemingly frozen in a state of shock. "Wait, I need a breather," she gasped.  
  
Rogue tilted her head to one side, disgust twitching her black lips. "Yeah, Ah feel like Ah need somethin' ta drink after Ah think of Pietro's fantasy of mad jungle sex wearin' just a loincloth..." She jumped off her bed and walked over to the door. "Ya wanna just wait here while Ah grab ya somethin'?"  
  
"Sure. Whatever you've got is fine."  
  
"Kay. Be back in a second." She left the room by air, leaving Tabitha to glance around the area. She really didn't want to lose Rogue's trust that she had just gained, so the next best thing was snooping through Kitty's side of the room...  
  
Descending the steps, Rogue was completely silent, surprised that the Institute wasn't in ruins yet. She'd thought leaving Remy alone with the boys would cause nothing but trouble. The thought that they actually got along made her smile as she floated over to the kitchen. It wasn't long before she was in ear shot and discovered why.  
  
  
  
"So Fred was hiding up in his room and me and Toad were duct-taped to the chair in the living room. She still hadn't gotten Pietro yet." Lance was telling Remy of the time they'd gone into her room without permission and accidentally broken her new Garbage cd. "He actually thought he was safe."  
  
"I couldn't have been more wrong," Pietro moaned into his hands.  
  
"Rogue had managed to find a couple of Backstreet Boys cds somewhere and two discmans-"  
  
Remy shook his head. "I t'ink I know where dis is going...."  
  
"You have no IDEA where this is going. Anyway, so Pietro came back to find out why we were screaming and begging-"  
  
"Big mistake." Pietro added from behind his hands.  
  
"-and she appears out of the darkness like some..." Lance paused, looking for the right word.  
  
"Evil, demonic creature of the night?" Todd supplied.  
  
"Close enough. So she zapped Pietro and who comes in but Mystique. She takes one at us, and walks right back out again, leaving us at the tender mercies of-"  
  
"Me." The boys all stared and turned toward the doorway. Beast was long gone, having taken some twinkies and coffee for nourishment and vanished into his lab where it was safe. "Now, you boys wouldn't be sharin' secrets with mah boyfriend, would ya?"  
  
Remy pointed at them. "Dis was deir idea." He shrank down in his seat as much as possible.  
  
She tossed a glare in his direction before returning her eyes to the Brotherhood boys. Todd laughed nervously. "Sorry?"  
  
She huffed so hard through her nose that Remy was sure smoke was going to leak out of it. She turned back to Remy. "Tell me everythin'. Anythin' ya tell will get ya off lighter an' make their lives more horrible." She growled each word from the back of her throat. Remy suddenly realized the boys weren't kidding when she was ultimately pissed. He'd heard about the most extreme time it happened when she woke up in a pile of what Todd affectionately called 'snome,' his special mixture he brought out when it snowed.  
  
Without thinking, he started rambling off the things they'd told him, leaving out some of the things. These guys weren't that bad, and he could handle her a little mad at him, right? The Brotherhood boys were making frantic motions for him to shut up. That lasted until Rogue glanced over at them. They froze.  
  
Remy finished telling her all he'd learned. There was a pause as she thought and then took a step toward him. He and the Brotherhood both flinched back. She smiled and patted him gently on the cheek. "Good boy. Your punishment won't be too severe." Then she looked at the Brotherhood. "And as for you... Well, Ah'll just hafta think somethin' up fittin', won't Ah?" She flashed them another smile before grabbing two Cokes and leaving.  
  
Todd had sunk even lower than his usual crouch. "I'm scared..."  
  
"We're all scared, Toad," Lance told him with a pat on his shoulder.  
  
"I've heard Brazil is nice this time of year..." Pietro thought out loud.  
  
Remy gulped. "Sorry, mes amis..."  
  
"Hey," Lance put up a hand. "I'm sure all of us would have done the same thing in your position. It's not good to have her mad at you when she has access to certain... things."  
  
Remy's face blanched and he actually felt relief for squealing. "So, what're y' gon' do?"  
  
"We discovered something a while ago that we decided mutually was gonna be our 'get out of jail card' if something like this were to ever happen," Todd answered almost eloquently.   
  
"And it's definitely called for now," Fred agreed, his eyes searching for food. He always ate when he was nervous. Hell, he always ate. But he was still lovable.  
  
"And dat would be...?"  
  
  
  
Rogue stormed back into her room only to find Tabitha looking under Kitty's bed. "Ahem." Tabitha shot up, putting her hands behind her back and smiling innocently. Then she noticed the looked on Rogue's face.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"They were spillin' stuff to Remy about me."  
  
"Uh-oh. Want me to to bomb 'em for you?" The blond looked sympathetic.  
  
"Nope. I have a better idea. So here's what we do..."  
  
TBC... 


	14. Kissing Up and Rocky Horror Rivalry

No more than ten minutes later, Pietro was back. "Could you have hidden this any better, Lance?" he huffed. "I must've scraped though twenty boxes for it." He handed Lance a small velvet pouch, which he peeked inside in.  
  
"Yeah, she'll definitely forgive us after seeing this."  
  
"I still don' know why we had t' break int' Stormy's greenhouse t' get some roses. What're y' guys plannin'?"  
  
"For dramatic effect," Fred called from the kitchen. Remy didn't want to even guess what he was doing in there.  
  
"Go upstairs an' get her while we set up down here," Todd told him, pushing him in the direction of the steps. "We're gonna need-" he glanced around the dining room to see what could be done. "Five minutes." Remy walked up the steps slowly, not sure if he was willing to trust them to one of the more expensive rooms in the public part of the institute.  
  
He reached the top of the steps and all but tiptoed to Rogue's room. For some reason he really didn't want to face her wrath right now. And no doubt she was plotting an evil scheme against all the males in the house with the exception of Hank. The fact that Tabitha was in the room didn't ease his nerves either. She was a practical joker when she was an X-Man and most likely hadn't changed a bit.  
  
He leaned to the side of her door, trying to listen in. He caught random words and felt nothing but hostility out of Rogue. It thundered at him even through the door.  
  
Suddenly, a light rolled from underneath the door and Remy recognized it immediately. He jumped away as it exploded, the door left swinging on only one hinge. Rogue peeked out with a set scowl on her face until she realized it'd been Remy on the other side. She kneeled down beside him. "Ya okay, Cajun?"  
  
"Oui... fine. What was dat 'bout?"  
  
"Ah'm not ready ta talk ta them yet," she said with a pout.  
  
"Dey're ready t' talk t' y', dough."  
  
She stood up and turned away from him. "Ah don't care when they're ready," she hmphed.  
  
"But dey have somet'in' t' give y'."  
  
She kept her face from showing any sign of surprise. "So?" she replied harshly. "Prob'ly some joke they fohgot ta play on me when Ah lived there." Her arms where crossed tightly across her chest.  
  
"I'm sure it's not, chere." He stood up and walked next to her. With his mouth as close to her ear as he dared, he whispered something in French that Rogue had heard too often. Tabitha watched Remy work his magic from the door, almost ready to melt herself. Even more surprising to her was the blush that crept up Rogue's face.  
  
"Fine. Let's go." Rogue reluctantly allowed herself to be pulled down the stairs by Remy.  
  
"Come on, chere. Not like y're goin' t' yer own funeral."  
  
"No, that would be more fun than this."  
  
Remy gave her a look and pulled her into a dining room. There was a bouquet of crimson and white roses on the table and a huge plate piled with chocolates. Her expression became slightly less dark and she glanced at the Brotherhood who were standing there with winning grins. She hesitated, glancing at them before her eyes flicked once again to the roses, then lingered on the chocolates, clearly tempted.  
  
Tabitha, from behind Remy and Rogue, stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening. "Those are Godivas!"  
  
Rogue took a few steps forward to examine the chocolates before plucking one off the table and quickly placing it in her mouth. A small contented 'hmmm' escaped her lips as the delicious chocolate melted in her mouth and slid down her throat. As soon as it was gone, she sobered up and stared neutrally at the Brotherhood. The chocolate did help, but they didn't deserve a smile just yet.  
  
"What's this about?" she asked, her hands placed on her hips. Remy nodded from behind her to the boys.  
  
"Well, Roguey," Lance began, walking slowly up to her, a minute trace of fear in his steps. "We know what we did is completely unacceptable, and you're a hard person to ask forgiveness from, but we're going to try anyway..."  
  
He only received an unchanged stare.  
  
He tentatively took her arm and led her to the seat at the head of the table. Rogue just went along with it, knowing that if Remy was allowing this it couldn't be bad. If it actually was bad, Remy would just be in shit again. No skin off her nose.   
  
Pietro appeared with a velvet pouch which he set in front of her with a flourish and a weak smile. Rogue eyed it suspiciously. "Ah swear ta Gawd if this is anothah one o' yoah jokes..."  
  
"It's not!" Todd told her earnestly.  
  
With another glare for good measure she pulled the drawstrings apart and dumped the contents into her palm. It was a small crystal orb clutched in a silver dragon's claw and hung on a delicate chain. Irene had given it to her. She gasped and an expression of surprise and delight crossed her face. "Mah necklace! Ah thought Ah lost it!" She looked up her eyes bright and anger forgotten. "Thank you."  
  
From behind, Lance waved Remy in. He stepped next to Rogue. "May I, chere," motioning to the necklace in her trembling hands. She nodded and he took it from her. Deftly as he could, he clasped it as she held up her hair.  
  
Her hand trailed the chain down to the pendant and twirled it. She had missed the weight of it sitting around her neck. Still smiling brightly, she got up from her chair and just took turns hugging all the boys. "Y'all're forgiven. But unless ya have another one o' mah treasured things, Ah suggest ya don't pull another dumbass move like befoh, all raht?" She said it sweetly and actually sincerely. The boys nodded eagerly, relieved everything had worked as planned.  
  
  
  
Several hours later, everyone (except Beast who was still tinkering wih something or other down in the lab) was sprawled out in the rec room, wrapped in blankets, munching on goodies, and watching "A Nightmare Before Christmas."  
  
Rogue was settled between Remy's legs and leaning back against his chest. He reached for another Godiva chocolate and offered it to her.   
  
"Uh-uh. If Ah have anymore o' those things they're gonna go straight ta mah thighs, Ah just know it."  
  
"Non, chere. Won' happen," he reassured, all too aware he was treading dangerous waters. He knew better than to tease a woman about her weight... especially HIS woman who had super strength and was more than capable of pulverizing him into little tiny Remy bits.  
  
"Oh, yes, it will. As it is it's gonna take a week of Danger Room sessions ta work everythin' off. Ah can practically feel the fat cells growin'," she groused.  
  
A shriek interrupted the movie as the Cajun grabbed her ass. "I don' feel dem, chere," he told her with a smirk.  
  
Rogue glared at him. "If ya weren't so damned cute Ah'd-"  
  
He nuzzled his nose into her hair. "But I am dat damned cute."  
  
"Get a room," Tabitha groaned from between Fred and Pietro, which she had taken the liberty of sprawling across both.   
  
Fred reached for Rogue's plate of chocolates. She glared at him. "What? You said you didn't want anymore!" he said, offended.  
  
She sighed, pushing the plate towards him. "Help yoahself."  
  
Todd, oblivious to the tiny quarrel between the four of them, was too busy singing along with the movie. He did a tiny dance as the words flowed actually on key from his green lips. "What's this? What's this? There's music everywhere! What's this? What's this? There's white things in the air!"  
  
Lance just leaned his head against the arm of the couch. "This is one of those times Illinois isn't looking too bad."  
  
"...I must be dreaming, wake up Jack, this isn't fair! What's this?..."  
  
"Aww, I'm hurt you rather be with your Kitty-Kat than with us and the magical singing Toad!" Pietro snorted the last line. "Todd, where did you learn all the lines?"  
  
Todd blinked and stopped singing. "Um..." There was a slightly nervous look on his face. "On cable?"  
  
Tabitha sat up, interested. "Oooh! I smell dirt!"  
  
"That would be you, Tabby. Take a bath why don't you?" Pietro interjected.  
  
"Shuttup!" She tried to slap him repeatedly but he was too quick. Her feet fell to the ground with a thump without the support of Pietro.  
  
"So where did y' learn it from?" Remy asked.  
  
"I, uh, oh, man. I guess I'm caught."  
  
"Damn straight ya are," Rogue grinned. "Spill."  
  
He shrugged nonchalantly. "It was always my favorite in the orphanage. It was the only thing that really made me happy since I had no family."  
  
Tabitha's smile faded and her shoulders slumped. "Aww, Toddy, I had no idea." Despite him and his physical state, she crawled over to him and wrapped him in a hug. Luckily, his blanket kept her from getting any kind of his residue on her.  
  
Rogue looked at him astonished. He never opened up like that. "...the sights, the sounds, they're everywhere and all, around, I've never felt so good before..." she sang along lightly.  
  
Todd looked at her like she'd grown two heads. "Wha?"  
  
She grinned as if to say 'You're not the only one who knows the words,' and continued. He joined in to finish up the song. "Oh I want, I want it for my own! I've got to know, I've got to know what is this place that I have found!" Then both Fred and Pietro joined in. "What is this?!" Todd imitated Jack running into the pole on the TV. The four of them broke out into hysterics, while Tabitha, Lance and Remy just stared at them all wildly.  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Phhfft. Ya'll're no fun." Then suddenly she grinned. "If you thought that was bad you should have seen when we went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Remember that, Pietro?"  
  
Pietro grinned. "I made a great Dr. Frankenfurter." He stood up and swiveled his hips. "I'm a sweet transvestite... from Transexual... Transylvania!" he sang at the top of his lungs.  
  
"And you wonder about the gay comments," Remy muttered under his breath.  
  
"I heard that," the white-haired boy responded, miffed. "And you're certainly not one to talk."  
  
"Oh, yeah? What's dat supposed t' mean?!"  
  
"Oh, please." Pietro dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "Everything about you screams sex appeal. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you swung the other way here and there."  
  
Remy stared at him hard with burning eyes. "What? Y' interested or somet'in', homme?" He stood up to stand over him, hands balled into fists by his sides. Everyone took notice of how they were brightly glowing.  
  
"Remy..." Rogue warned.  
  
"Y' 'bout t' defend him, chere?" he growled without looking at her, still staring down Pietro.  
  
"No, but Ah'm thinkin' that 'no explosions rule' applies ta you too. Besides, ya WERE the one who started it."  
  
He breathed through his nose and closed his eyes for a quick moment, pushing down his anger. Then he pointed a finger at Pietro. "Dis ain' over."  
  
Pietro, feeling up for a challenge, puckered his lips and blew a kiss at the tip of Remy's finger.   
  
"Hey!" Rogue said, standing up and putting herself between the two boys. "That's crossin' the line, Pietro. Cut it out." She stared at him, not bothering to disguise her ire. "Now. Back to Rocky Horror," she turned her head to Remy. "Without the jokes."  
  
"So you all went?" Tabitha questioned curiously, though still a little disturbed.  
  
"I didn't," Lance hastened to add.  
  
Rogue pouted. "Nope. We never did manage ta get him to go. He's just a stick in the mud."  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Ya are so. Ah even talked Kitty inta goin'."  
  
Lance looked horrified. "KITTY?! No, Not my innocent little Kitty..."  
  
Rogue smirked. "Oh, yes, fishnets an' all."  
  
Lance suddenly had quite a different expression on his face. Pietro, too had a far away look in his eyes. "I have to admit... for an X-Girl she looked damn fine." He once again dashed away before Lance could grab him in a death lock. "Hey! How do you know I wasn't talking about Rogue?"  
  
"Cuz' den I'd kick y' ass," snorted Remy.  
  
"Now, Rem. This was long befoh Ah met ya." She poked his nose with her gloved index finger. Then she stood on tiptoe and whispered in his ear, "Ah'll get ya the pictures later." He started to smirk. "But you have to behave."   
  
He give her a pleading look. "Aw, come on, chere."  
  
"No." She gave him The Look.  
  
"Yo! Remember that one time we all came home from the theater and Mystique was there? I swear I thought she was gonna have a heart attack!" Todd crowed before busting up laughing. Rogue, Freddy and Pietro joined in.  
  
"Ah, those were the days."  
  
Lance sat down on the couch, feeling awfully left out. "So what happened at the show?"  
  
"Oh, so now you wanna know?" Fred taunted.  
  
"You just told me I missed seeing Kitty in fishnets. Have pity on me."  
  
"It's a somewhat difficult to explain to the uninitiated," Pietro told him archly.  
  
Lance was about to reply when Tabitha started snickering suddenly. They all turned to look at her. "Rocky's never been to Rocky!" Everyone moaned at the terrible pun.  
  
"Man, that was bad. Even my rock puns weren't that bad."  
  
"I dunno. Those were pretty awful..."  
  
Lance just laughed harshly. "Whatever. So what happened?"  
  
Rogue just smirked again. "We're just gonna hafta tell him so he can feel horrible about our bondin' experience." She did a tiny twirl in the air. "Ah was Magenta-"  
  
"And you looked extremely hot in that French maid's outfit..." Pietro mumbled.   
  
Remy threw a warning glare at him but Rogue mouthed, "Pictures..."  
  
"He still got t' see y' in it," he whispered back harshly.   
  
"Ah still have the damn thing. After they leave." She rubbed his arm as a small smile came to his face.   
  
"Sounds good."  
  
"Continuing?" Lance scoffed, annoyed.  
  
"No need t' take yer 'lack of Kitty' syndrome out on us," Remy retorted.  
  
"Let's see how you do without seeing Rogue for a couple weeks," the dark-haired boy shot back.  
  
Rogue covered Remy ears. "Don't say such things! He'll start havin' heart palpitations!" she laughed. "Honestly, Lance. Me an' Remy don't hafta be with each other 24/7."  
  
"I sense a challenge," Pietro piped up.  
  
"Oh be quiet." Rogue spat back. "There's no reason foh us ta be separated, so we're not. And that's that."  
  
"Is it? Is it really?" Fred inquired in a philosophical tone.  
  
"Not that Ah can think of anyway." She looked at them quizzically, but with a hint of anger. "Y'all can't think of any, can ya?"  
  
"No way."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Hell, no."  
  
"Better to die, yo." The boys stared at Todd for showing his fear. He shrugged it off. "I ain't gonna get hit by her because you guys have somethin' against her an' Remy!"  
  
They other three male members of the Brotherhood looked at Todd and then slowly at Rogue with trapped expressions.  
  
"Er... only we don't..." Lance said, opting for damage control.  
  
"Of course not," Freddy backed him up.  
  
"Well, no... exceptthatshecoulddosomuchbetterthanhim..."  
  
"Dat's it!" Remy jumped on him, fists ready to fly. Todd screeched and jumped back on Tabitha, who had just been watching the entire scene with a grin.  
  
"Remy! No!" Rogue looked to Fred. "Get Pietro offa him!"  
  
TBC... 


	15. Fistfights and The Rage of the Wolverine

Rogue and Fred both pulled the guys off of each other. It seemed like Pietro hadn't bothered to get away since he was the one asking for the fight.  
  
She flew herself and Remy across the room. "What were ya thinkin' pouncin' on him like that?!" Remy wiped the blood away from his mouth where Pietro had gotten a quick punch in. Rogue cradled his face in her hands. "Remy," she saw in a low voice. "Why did ya do that? He's harmless, all talk. An' if he was actually tryin' he could get a thousand punches in on ya befoh ya could even get one."  
  
He snorted, agreeing with her. Pietro may not have been ready, but he did get a few good punches in.  
  
Tabitha snorted and rolled her eyes. "Men."  
  
"You said it," Rogue sighed dropping her hands from Remy's face and turning away. "Sometimes Ah think there's only one thing they're good foh."  
  
The blond smirked. "And opening jars."  
  
Rogue held up her hands and smiled. "Super strength, remember?"  
  
"Oh. Right."  
  
"Ya know Ah think the Amazons had the right idea."  
  
"Amazons?" Tabitha frowned.  
  
"Warrior women of ancient Greece. They kept men as slaves." Rogue grinned wickedly.  
  
"Oooh. I like them already."  
  
"Anyway," Rogue turned her attention back to all the males present in the room, pointedly at Remy and Pietro. "If y'all're done showin' off yoah manliness?" she snarled.  
  
Pietro put his hands up. "Done. Promise."  
  
"Good. Ah was afraid Ah'd hafta kick ya out an' that wouldn't be the 'merry' thing ta do." She smiled despite her foul mood. She had her mouth open to say more, but she heard the front door slam open and then close.  
  
"Gumbo, keep yer ass downstairs!" Logan shouted on his way up the steps.  
  
Remy's eyes went wide, alight with glee. "New booze..." He almost drooled.  
  
Lance heard that and smiled as well. "Is anyone up for an excavation in a couple minutes?"  
  
Rogue, with an mental effort, kept her hand from connecting with the backside of both their heads. "Are you serious? Remy, you've been drunk twice in the last twenty-four hours. Lance, Ah didn't know you drank, but ta hell with it-"  
  
Pietro coughed into his hand "Soft." Both Todd and Fred mirrored his action. Tabitha just shrugged. Rogue's gray-green eyes narrowed at the taunts.  
  
"Give him twenty minutes to at least hide it," she relented. "Ah mean he went ta all that trouble to get it foh us. The least we can do is let him think it's safe foh a while." She smirked suddenly. "And then, Ah'll watch ya'll get drunk an' then when you're drunk an' Ah'm not..." She trailed off and hummed with an innocent expression, rocking back and forth on the balls and heels of her feet. The guys began to glance at each other nervously. 'Let 'em sweat about THAT for a while. Hehe. Ah'm so bad. Soft mah ass.'  
  
  
  
About fifteen minutes later, the group of seven was in the dining room, and Remy had gotten tired of waiting. Rogue was about to put a freaking leash on him since he was whining so much. "Y' don' understand what bourbon is t' me dough, chere..." he said for the fourth time. "It's in m'blood."  
  
"Ya damn right it is. From last night," she rubbed his shoulder harshly with her hand, damning herself for falling in love with a teenage boozer. She turned to the Brotherhood. "So what's the plan?"  
  
"Well," Tabitha said, speaking for the boys as they continued to huddle. "We're assuming Badger still isn't onto our presence here, so me and Toddy and Freddy can surprise the hell out of him, while Pietro and Remy sneak in. Lance and you will be back up. Sound fair?"  
  
Rogue nodded. "Good 'nuff. Wait, tell me why Pietro and Remy are teamin' up again? They just tried ta beat the hell outta each other, or was Ah imaginin' it?" She didn't see the logic of that part of the plan.  
  
"Rogue, babe," Tabitha said, slinking up by her and placing her arm around the goth girl's shoulders in a friendly motion. Rogue just stared at her neutrally, not completely comfortable with the action, or the 'babe'. "Quicky will get in there... well, quick, but Remy knows his way around the room. He also knows the good stuff. The guy's a natural born thief, for God's sake!" Remy grinned at the compliment.  
  
Todd looked up from the huddle. "Are we ready to go?"  
  
Rogue shrugged, not really interested. "Whatevah."  
  
"Dun, dun, dundundun, dun, dun, dun duuun dun..." Pietro began humming the Mission Impossible theme.   
  
Remy glared at him. "Is dat really necessary?"  
  
"Why? Is it annoying?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Well, then I think it is."  
  
Remy lifted his hands as if to strangle Pietro.   
  
"Oh, yeah, this is a WONDERFUL plan..." Rogue drawled sarcastically.  
  
Remy wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head. "I'll behave, chere. Promise." He exchanged a quick glare with the white-haired boy and then returned his attention back to Rogue.   
  
"An' what do ya want as a reward if ya don't kill him tonight?"  
  
"You in dat French maid's outfit," he grinned.   
  
Rogue laughed and pushed away from him. "Get outta here already." Tabitha smiled as she led the way for Todd and Fred out the door, seeing as how she knew a little bit about the mansion from her whole... three weeks there.  
  
  
  
Outside the dining room and by the foyer steps, a grinning Logan stalked up the steps and awaited everyone to walk right into his own dastardly plan.  
  
  
  
Tabitha looked around. "Where IS he?!"  
  
"Yeah, we're supposed to be distracting him, yo!"  
  
"I've got a baaad feeling about this," Fred muttered.  
  
They heard grumbling coming from one of the rooms. It was bedroom. They slowly opened the door and discovered most of it was about "kids" and highly uncomplimentary. It was coming from the closet.  
  
"Hey, Badger! Guess who's heeeere," Tabitha sang out. There was no reaction and the monologue continued. She looked at Fred. "You go first."  
  
He nodded and gulped, nervously opening the door, Tabitha and Todd hiding behind him. Opening the door he found... a tape recorder?  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Wait... If that's a recording then where's..." Fred trailed off and the three of them looked up in unison, too late to get out of the way of the net.  
  
The bottom edges of it was drawn together with a rope before they could escape and the three collapsed in a heap, thankfully with no one squashed. Logan stepped from behind the curtains, laughing, and tied off the ends to one of the bedposts, away from where they could reach it.  
  
"Mommy?" Todd whimpered.  
  
Fred tried ripping apart the net only to find he couldn't.  
  
"The fibers are woven through with adamantium, bub. Even Rogue couldn't get out of that. Now to go save my liquor..." He walked out, chuckling.  
  
After a moment Todd spoke. "You realize we just violated one of the classic horror movie rules: Never EVER open the closet door when there's a psycho on the loose."  
  
"Yeah, well, hindsight's a bitch," Tabitha said pouting.  
  
"Pietro and Remy are so screwed..." Fred observed.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well... I say we make the best of a bad situation, yo... I've got a lov-el-y bunch of coconuts. Deedly dee. There they are all standing in a-"  
  
"Todd," Tabitha interrupted calmly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"If you don't shut up I'm going to have to hurt you."  
  
"Okay."  
  
  
  
"C'mon, Remy. We're getting the booze."  
  
"Who said y' c'n boss me around? I t'ink it should be de ot'er way around, homme."  
  
Pietro just scowled and waited up for him. He did let Remy walk ahead, and watched carefully as he slunk up the steps.  
  
  
  
Rogue watched them go. "Did we just send them into a death trap?" she asked Lance when the others were out of earshot.  
  
"Most likely."  
  
"Ahh." She nodded, her lips pursed. "Should we do somethin' ta stop 'em?"  
  
"Why should we?"  
  
She shrugged. "You up foh cider?"  
  
"You bet."  
  
  
  
Remy pointed out Logan's door with a quick motion. Pietro nodded, all professional now, slight jealousy aside. He thought of that and scowled to himself. Remy pretended not to notice, but smirked to himself while facing the door.   
  
He knelt down, pulling a custom made door pick out of his pocket. It was the heavy duty stuff, considering Logan wasn't the most trusting person. Remy reached for the doorknob, and amazingly, it turned without him having to bother with the lock. Remy looked at Pietro with furrowed eyebrows, curious. "Dis isn' right..."  
  
"Whaddya mean 'dis isn' right'?" he mocked. "The door's open, let's get us the stuff and go!"  
  
Remy stood up to stop Pietro, but decided against it. He knew a trap when he saw one. "I'll go in first, jus' follow my lead."   
  
"You're the one who's scared of this guy. I'LL go in first."   
  
Remy nodded solemnly, mentally laughing at Pietro for being so blind. He even waved him in. "Careful, dough, homme."  
  
"Careful my ass." There was a panicked scream scarcely a second later. "Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! It'sFreddyKruegarmeetsthehomicidalhermit!!!!!! Runforyourlife!!!!!" There was a flash of white that Remy could barely follow before Logan burst out of the room, claws unsheathed. Remy let out an undignified yelp and did as Piero had suggested.  
  
"SO YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SWIPE SOME MORE OF MY LIQUOR, DID YOU, GUMBO?!?! PREPARE TO BE SLICED AND DICED!!!!"  
  
  
  
Rogue was seated on the same counter in the kitchen that Lance was leading against. They were both sipping cider. There was a faint sound of a terrified scream and then a roar.  
  
Rogue laughed into her cider mug. "It slices, it dices, it make julienne fries. Please welcome home the Wolverine."  
  
Lance snickered along, taking a nice long gulp of cider. "Three... Two... One..." Suddenly, the white flash came to a halt and Pietro was panting, eyes wide with fright. He saw the looks on their faces and narrowed his eyes. He pointed at them accusingly.   
  
"Youknewthiswasgoingtohappen!" he sputtered.  
  
"Of course we did, silly," Rogue giggled, yes, giggled. She was in too good a mood to bother hiding it. "Did you really think that Logan would allow his booze to get stolen twice in a single day?" She rolled her eyes. "And you act like the smart one."  
  
"Where's your partner in crime?" Lance asked.  
  
"Yeah, where is Remy?" Rogue echoed, anger edging her voice. She knew Logan wouldn't hurt Remy... well, maybe he would. The worry showed in her eyes. "You didn't just leave him there, did you?" She hopped off the counter and suspended herself a couple inches off the tiled floor so she could look down on Pietro. She'd seen Jean do it a couple times and it worked, so why not her?  
  
Pietro cringed slightly. "Hewasrightbehindme,Iswear!!"  
  
As if on cue the door swung open and a less than calm Remy ran in then slammed it shut again, backing away from it as if all the demons in hell were behind it, taking his eyes off it only long enough to glare at Pietro. "Y' left me back dere t' be gut'ed like a fish, homme!"  
  
"Hey,betteryouthanme!"  
  
Remy was about to offer a scathing retort when two sets of metal claws came through the door. He and Pietro froze like deer in the headlights. The wood was smashed inward and Logan stuck his head in smiling, ala Jack Nicholson. "Honey, I'm hoooome..."  
  
"RUN!!!!!!!"  
  
They took off again, yelling bloody murder. The door slammed open. "The prof's gonna make you pay for the door, you know that, right, Logan?" Rogue commented idly.  
  
He paused in his headlong rush and grinned. "Yeah, but did you see the looks on their faces?" Then he took off again, laughing maniacally and yelling death threats.  
  
Lance gave Rogue a look and she shrugged. "Hey, he has ta get his kicks somewhere."  
  
"Right, of course..." Rogue and her sense of humor.  
  
"So, should we be worried about where the other three fifths of your team is?"  
  
"Figuring Mr. Shining is already chasing Remy and Pietro? I'm not sure."  
  
"Do we bother to find them?" Lance shook his head. "My thoughts exactly."  
  
  
  
"Damn, this sucks, yo."  
  
"We know, Toddy. You've only said that four times in the last two minutes."  
  
"An' considering we've been here..." Fred counted on his fingers dumbly. "Um... A real long time."  
  
"Try about five or six minutes, Freddy."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Seriously, I don't see why I can't sing. It's not like we have any games to play in here or somethin'."  
  
"Todd, did anyone ever tell you about your singing?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Let me be the first, man. You sound exactly like a Toad should sound singing."  
  
"You cut me deep, Blob. There's only one thing I hafta say to that."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Ya take one down, and pass it around, 98 bottles of-"  
  
"No!!" Tabitha shrieked. Not caring about the enclosed space they were in, she sprouted out cherry bombs from the annoyance of that damn song.  
  
  
  
Rogue was once again back on the counter with Lance leaning against it. They both cringed with the numerous pops and explosions, plus the girlish screams of Todd. "Told ya we didn't hafta worry."  
  
The was another scream, this time from downstairs. "Noooo!!!I'mtooyoungandgorgeoustodie!!!!"  
  
"Gee, I wonder who that was..." Lance drawled sarcastically.  
  
"Hmm... I wonder," Rogue replied with equal sarcasm.  
  
"Man, no wonder you guys always kick our asses. This is pathetic."  
  
"Yeah... but 'The Brotherhood of Pathetic Losers' doesn't have quite the same ring, ya know?"  
  
TBC... 


	16. Terror at the Mansion!

The professor opened the door to total chaos. Logan had his claws out and was running around the room alternately chasing a white blur and Remy, laughing in a way that would make any mad scientist proud.  
  
"Logan!" Logan stopped faster than one would have expected given his weight and momentum, and sheathed his claws, attempting to look harmless. "You weren't about to disembowel one of our students or young Pietro by any chance, were you?"  
  
"Of course not, Charles." His tone was all sincerity.  
  
The professor asked him mentally what had been going on and "heard" Logan's account in an instant. "Good. I'd hate to have to explain another 'accident,'" he said, gravely, playing along.  
  
Pietro and Remy both turned white as sheet. "Umm, accident?" Remy uncharacteristically squeaked.  
  
"Oh, yes." Xavier nodded grimly. "When Logan first came to the institute, we had another student besides Jean and Scott." The two teens looked to Logan, whose face remained still. "A young man, just like you two... Logan was still recovering from his Weapon X experience, so he wasn't in the right state of mind... Very unfortunate. Oh, well, that whole messy business is behind us now." The professor smiled again as if pushing away unpleasant thoughts.  
  
Remy and Pietro looked at each other. Then, in unison, "ROGUE!!!!!!" They ran headlong toward the kitchen and girl with super strength and invulnerability inside it.   
  
Logan's mask cracked and he chuckled when they were out of hearing range. "That was a good one."  
  
The professor laughed as well. "Yes, quite amusing."  
  
"They'll never touch my liquor again."  
  
Xavier frowned. "I'm not quite so sure about that... and really, Logan, if you're going to keep liquor around teenage mutants, one of whom is a known thief with a liking for bourban, you should learn to hide it better."  
  
Logan's expression darkened. "Oh, believe me, I know."  
  
  
  
In the kitchen once again, Rogue was bombarded by both Remy and Pietro on the counter. Luckily, she had just finished her cup of cider so when she saw them coming, she tossed the empty mug to Lance milliseconds before she was tackled. They clung to her like a lifeline.   
  
Rogue glanced wildly between the two of them a couple times, exchanging glances with Lance as well. He just shrugged, a smirk appearing on his face.  
  
"All raht, someone tell me why the hell the two a' you are hangin' on me like a pair of love-sick leeches," she said calmly, keeping her voice from the actually screeching she wanted to do.  
  
Pietro began babbling at a speed none of them could even begin to understand and Remy had apparently forgotten how to speak English. "Oh, yes, that's very helpful," she sighed, exasperated. "Look, if ya ain't gonna explain then ya're gonna hafta get off me."  
  
"NO!!!" they yelled in unison and clung even tighter, their babble resuming at more frantic pitch. Rogue gave Lance a 'what the HELL is goin' on here?!' look.   
  
He just shrugged, highly amused. "You seem to have upset them further."  
  
"Thank you, Sherlock."  
  
"Wait, I think I heard the word 'Logan'"  
  
"QUE?!"  
  
"WHERE?!"  
  
As if they hadn't been holding on tight enough already, they clung to her slim body even more. "A li'l help?"  
  
Lance laughed, as he had been enjoying the show. But, he couldn't say no to a damsel in distress, so he raised his arms up and shook the earth a bit. All that really accomplished was knocking the trio off the counter. They clambered to the floor, all still attached. Now Rogue had leverage though.  
  
She pushed the both of them off, frantically pulling at her gloves with her teeth. She spit the gloves out of her mouth and held her now bare hands out in front of her. "Stay back, Ah'm warnin' both a' you." She rose up in the air and flew backward, still watching them, to the door of the kitchen. "Stay."  
  
They both looked up to her, and she could've sworn she heard them both whimper. "LOGAN? WHAT THE HELL DID YA DO TA MAH BOYS?"  
  
"Logan..." the boys said, cowering on the floor.  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes and flew out of the door. "Keep an eye on 'em foh me, Lance," she called over her shoulder.  
  
He chuckled to himself. "No problem." He crouched down beside them, where they were huddled separately on the floor. "Guys, what happened to you?"  
  
"Acc'dent," Remy murmured, rocking back and forth slightly.  
  
"Oh geez. I'd get more intelligent conversation from Fred. Later." He stood up and went off in search of the rest of his team.  
  
  
  
Professor Xavier and Logan were in the foyer, talking quietly and looking very amused. Rogue floated to a stop in front of them, hovering a foot or so above the ground, arms crossed in front of her. "Okay, Ah would like ta know why there are two mutant boys, usually arrogant ta the point o' stupidity, cringin' in the kitchen an' Ah would like ta know NOW."  
  
Logan smirked. "I never touched 'em, Stripes."  
  
Xavier covered his mouth and coughed to cover up a smile that was quickly spreading into a seldom seen grin. "We felt the need to teach them the consequences of alcohol abuse."  
  
"By scarin' 'em shi- mindless? Gee, thanks." She landed on the ground, arms still crossed across her chest.  
  
"They'll be fine in awhile, Rogue. You were against this operation of stealing Logan's liquor, were you not? So why are you upset that it was a failure?"  
  
"Because now they're whimpery, sobbin' li'l puppies on the kitchen floor, an' Ah have no use foh people like that," she snorted.  
  
"What'sa matter, Dixie," Logan challenged. "You afraid to comfort 'em?"  
  
Rogue glared at him both for the nickname and the statement. "This ain't a matter 'bout mah insecurities, so stop avoidin'-." She threw her hands up in the air. "Screw it!" She turned on her heel and stomped out of the room.  
  
Logan turned to Xavier. "Gotta love the holidays."  
  
  
  
The kitchen door swung open accompanied by frightened yelps from the two boys. "It's just me," Rogue said disgustedly, stepping inside. They both lunged at her. "Freeze!" They both obeyed instantly. 'Okay, so maybe this has one or two perks,' she thought. "Where's Lance?" Both pointed wordlessly to the other door. Rogue sighed. "Well, Ah suppose we should go track down the rest of them..."  
  
She started for the door again, but didn't hear them move. She looked over her shoulder to see that they hadn't shifted position at all. "Don't take everythin' Ah say so literally. C'mon!" She watched them slowly move to stand behind her. "Okay. Now, Ah want ya ta just act like they nevah said anythin' ta either of ya. You're scarin' me now." She shuddered. "No more actin' like zombies and more like egotistical pretty boys ya were, all raht?"  
  
Pietro nodded, smirk gleaming in his eyes. Remy on the other hand... "Is that all I am? Egotistical an' pretty?"  
  
She pouted and poked at his lips. "Ah just said it generally so as not ta hurt Pietro's feelin's." She leaned in close and huskily whispered, "You're the hot one, remember that."   
  
Remy's eyes lit up, and he grinned at Pietro. Pietro just shrugged. He was tired of the macho bullshit competing for her attention. Rogue started the line up once again and they filed out of the kitchen.  
  
"Man, you need some self-esteem, stat," Pietro whispered to Remy out of Rogue's hearing.  
  
"It's worth bein' dis low t' have her. Don' y' t'ink?" They both took a moment to stare at Rogue, one more wistfully than the other. Pietro just settled for another shrug. He could've had his chance, but he didn't take it. He glanced between the two southerners and a smile so quick as to be unnoticable graced his lips. 'They really are made for each other. Remy's probably the only one who can and would put up with her mood swings and Rogue's probably the only one who could keep his attention. 'Doesn't mean I can't continue to mess with him.' The latter part of his thought was accompanied by wicked, albeit silent laughter.  
  
"Y'all whisperin' 'bout me behind mah back?" Rogue asked from ahead of them as she reached the stairs, turning slightly to give them a raised eyebrow. They were spared from answering as the sound of a small explosion sounded through the mansion, followed by hysterical male laughter that sounded suspiciously like Lance's. "Ya know, Ah wish Ah could say Ah wasn't expectin' something lahke that..."  
  
"Dammit, Rocky!" A voice that could only belong to Tabitha yelled back.  
  
"I got you out of that freakin' net, what else do you want?"  
  
"Hair that isn't fried beyond all reason, for one thing!"  
  
"Yo, Tab, that was your own fault really..." they heard Todd whimper.  
  
"Ugh! Why do I put up with you people?!" Stomping was heard and Tabitha all but ran over Rogue, going down the steps.  
  
"Because you can't stand to live here," Fred reminded her helpfully as he followed.  
  
She sighed in frustration. "Yep, that's gotta be it. No offense, Rogue."  
  
Rogue shrugged. "None taken. Is everyone else all raht up there?"  
  
"As well as they can be. I was in the middle of making another bomb to threaten Todd with because he was starting to sing 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves' and Lance came in, shaking the place up enough for me to lose my concentration, hence, my scruffy appearance." She flipped at her hair. "You have any leave in conditioner handy?"  
  
"Nah, Ah'm low maintenance. Jean's section of the bathroom should provide more than enough of hair goop to calm that down though. She couldn't have brought everythin' with her," Rogue said with slight annoyance.  
  
"Ugh. Using Jean's hair products. How much lower can I sink?"  
  
Pietro grinned. "I dunno, Tabby. Seen the football team lately?"  
  
"Y-you just be quiet," Tabitha growled, pointing a finger at him.  
  
"Ooooh. Did I hurt widdle Tabby's feelwings?" he crooned in a baby voice.  
  
"If you don't shut up right now I will sneak into your room in the middle of the night and cut your hair." Pietro looked horrified, his hands flying to his perfect hair.  
  
"You're not that evil..." He sounded unsure though.  
  
"Try me."  
  
Remy's hands instinctively went to his own precious locks. "She looks pretty serious, homme."  
  
"Ah suggest you keep one eye open at night, Pietro," Rogue said as she stepped between the two of them, heading up the steps. "Ah think it's safe ta say that Fred an' Todd are okay, raht?"  
  
"As okay as they can be," Tabitha answered harshly. "If he came up with any more of the world's most annoying songs I would have strangled him instead of blasted him." Her words came out like venom.   
  
"This is the song that doesn't eeeeend... It just goes on and on my frieeeend..." Todd sang out cheerfully, hopping down the stairs.  
  
"Not that song!!!!!! Shutup!!! Shutup!!! Shutup!!!" Lance shouted, wild-eyed, right behind him.  
  
Remy glanced over at Lance and edged away slightly as tremors began shaking the foundations.  
  
Tabitha glared at him, breath coming out in huffing snorts. She began to toss a bomb in her hand idly, waiting for the perfect moment. Rogue watched her out of the corner of her eye, trying to think of what she should do. Let Todd get fried or save him from a fury of a few well-placed "homemade" cherry bombs? Unless, of course, Lance shattered the foundation of the institute first. Decisions, decisions.  
  
With a sigh, she decided to save the frog's ass. She flew up next to him and tugged at her glove. He stopped mid-verse and gulped. "That's yoah only warnin'. Enough." Okay, it was a harsh way of saving him, but it did calm Tabitha down. The shaking even stopped too.  
  
"Eep?" With that small sound Todd fell silent except for a yelp as Tabby's bomb exploded in midair.  
  
"Smart move."  
  
~I apologise for intruding, children, but would you please come into the foyer for a moment?~ came the professor's voice in their heads.  
  
TBC... 


	17. Invitation to Lunch

Fred clutched his head in pain. "What the hell was that?"  
  
Pietro rolled his eyes. "Fred, that was a psy-chic message," he said slowly. Then he nudged Lance. "Easy for it to bring a sudden headache when there's nothing inside his head to absorb the sound."  
  
"I heard that."  
  
"I'm sure you did," Tabitha said, rolling her eyes. Then she noticed Remy and Pietro looking pale. "What?"  
  
"HE'S in there..." Pietro said in a small voice.  
  
Rogue slapped her palm against her forehead. "Oh, foh Gawd's sake..."  
  
"Chere, please?" Remy wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, looking like he was holding her for the hell of it, but he wasn't fooling anyone. She was his human shield.  
  
"Get the hell offa me. Ah'll go in first, make sure that Wolvie -" A gasp from both boys, and then an eye rolls from the girls "-isn't in there. If he is, Ah'll politely ask him ta leave, all raht?"  
  
"Non! I can't let y' risk yer life like dat! Y' mean too much t' me!"  
  
"Awww.... That's so sweet," Tabitha said with a small smile.  
  
Rogue took a moment, pinching the bring of her nose, ignoring the fact that Remy's arms were still clinging to her waist.  
  
Rogue took a moment, pinching the bring of her nose, ignoring the fact that Remy's arms were still clinging to her waist. "Usually Ah wouldn't mind this, but the whole pathetic thing really ain't you, Remy. Ah'm goin' in."  
  
He squeezed tighter. "Non."  
  
"Remy..." she chided ominously.  
  
Another notch tighter. "Non."  
  
"Dammit, Remy, stop this."  
  
"Y' ain' goin' in dere."  
  
She'd had enough. "What if Ah told ya they made the whole story up?"  
  
"I wouldn' believe y' because dey jus' tol' y' dat t' make y' t'ink we're insane."  
  
"Ya are insane foh believin' it!" She looked at Tabitha. "Jesus, you go in then. Get Wolvie the fuck outta there so Ah can breathe again!" She was quite exasperated.  
  
Pietro grabbed Tabitha when she started to move forward. "Noooo!!!She'sannoying!!!He'llgetherforsure!!!Wecan'taffordtoloseanotherBrotherhoodchick!!Youguysoutnumberusasitis!!!"  
  
Tabitha looked torn between being flattered and insulted. "Speedy, I-"  
  
"No!!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"No!!!!"  
  
"Then you go in!" she screamed at Lance, the tension getting to her. Lance recoiled, as if struck by the pitch of her voice.  
  
"Me?" He stepped slightly in front of them, looking back to see if they were serious. Remy squeezed Rogue a bit tighter again, and Pietro just stared at him with wide eyes. "Wait, why can't Fred go? He's the strong one."  
  
"You're the leader, dumbass. You come in peace or whatever," Todd said, snickering.   
  
"Um... well, as the leader I order you to go."  
  
"WHAT?!" He looked at Lance as if he'd grown another head with five extra noses. "That ain't fair, yo!"  
  
Lance crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "I think it's about fair."  
  
"Rocky, it isn't. In actuality, he's just as annoying as me sometimes, so he'd probably get clawed too," Tabitha defended.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"You know it's true."  
  
Todd looked at his feet. "Yeah..." he mumbled.  
  
"So it's settled. Lance, you're going in."  
  
"Dammit to hell!" He threw his hands up in the air, causing a mild tremor throughout the estate. Then he stomped ahead of them all. There was silence for a couple minutes after he'd gone.  
  
"I hope he lives, yo. I really don't want to be the one to explain to Kitty what happened to her boyfriend," Todd muttered.  
  
Tabitha glared at him. "You're not helping."  
  
Before anything further could be said Lance came back. "He said it's perfectly safe to come in, and that if he really wanted to kill you he would have already beheaded you in the middle of the night."  
  
Remy and Pietro looked horrified.   
  
"I'mneversleepingagain."  
  
"Lance! Did ya have ta tell 'em that?" Rogue demanded, irritated. She pulled out of Remy's grasp finally and strode up to Lance. She suspended herself in the air so she was at perfect eye level with him. "Ah don't know why Ah bother." She glared at him intently before going ahead of them all into the foyer. Remy once again became her shadow.  
  
The rest of them shrugged and followed the couple. The professor smiled as he saw them. "Good, you're all here. I know we've occasionally had our differences, but I'd like to give you a little something for Christmas. I've made arrangements at La Rose Cristal for you to have lunch at a private table in the back where you can order whatever you want. My treat."  
  
Fred's mouth just about dropped through the floor and into the subbasements. "Uhh..." was the most intelligent thing he could imagine to say with thoughts of food dancing through his head.  
  
"Ya can't be serious." Rogue was awestruck. It was a very nice gesture, of course, but sending the seven of them out to lunch was just plain insanity.  
  
"I think staying within the confines of the institute when so many of you are such free spirits is insanity, Rogue. Go on, enjoy yourselves. The limo is awaiting you out front."  
  
A collective jaw gaping went around the room. "LIMO?"  
  
"Yes, a limo." A pause. "Well, you're not going to just stand there all day, are you?" There was a mad rush out the door by Fred, with Tabitha close behind.   
  
"I looove limos!"  
  
Todd was next, stopping briefly by the professor. "Thanks, yo."  
  
"You're welcome, Todd."  
  
Then the only ones left were Lance, Pietro, Rogue and Remy.  
  
Lance had buried his hands in his hair. "This is a BAD idea..."  
  
"I'm sure it will be quite alright, Lance. They should be able to behave themselves for a few hours."  
  
Lance looked at him. "You really don't know them, do you? Thanks, though. It's cool of you."  
  
The professor nodded to him, and Lance walked out, muttering "baaad idea" under his breath.  
  
"Thanksforlunch." Pietro spoke quickly, with a glance at the man in the wheelchair before looking warily at Logan who was standing next to the door. He edged forward cautiously. Logan smiled. This was not at all reassuring to Pietro. He stopped.  
  
"Boo!"  
  
Pietro let loose a sharp yelp that rivaled Todd's usual girly scream and ran from the room at double his usual speed. Remy was ready to do the same at his own running speed, but Rogue kept an arm out in front of him. "Was that really necessary?"  
  
"You know ya would've done the same thing." Logan smiled.  
  
Rogue bit her lip. "Yah, ya're raht. Let's go, Remy. We'll leave the nice Wolverine alone." She led him out the door. "Thanks, Professor." Remy echoed her.  
  
"Have fun."   
  
When everyone had piled into the limo and gone, Logan stood by the window with Xavier. "You do realize what you've just done, right?"  
  
Xavier laughed. "Indeed I do."  
  
"Then why'd you do it?"  
  
"My house has had enough damage done to it in the last thirty-six hours, thank you, Logan." 


	18. No Limo is Safe With the Brotherhood Ins...

"Chill out, Rocky. Contrary to popular belief we CAN behave in polite society." Rogue began to giggle hysterically. "It's NOT that funny!"  
  
"Oh, yes it is!"  
  
Fred took up the corner part of the limo to himself, grateful for the large sunroof. Rogue and Remy sat in another section, Rogue still in stitches from Tabitha. Her, Pietro, and Lance sat closest to the driver, while Todd was checking out the mini bar, which was unfortunately for them, filled with different varieties of soda. Grinning to himself, Todd inconspicuously picked out one of the more caffeine filled drinks.  
  
"Ah've lived with these guys, Ah know what they're like! Don't tell me they can 'behave'!" She laughed again. Remy prodding her side wasn't helping either.  
  
"I'm perfectly capable of being a gentleman," Pietro smiled.  
  
Rogue stopped laughing enough to shoot him a glare that quite clearly said, "Right, and I'm the Queen of England, PLUS I gave birth to alien sextuplets."  
  
"What? Why are you giving me that look?" he protested with a fake hurt expression.  
  
"Oh, Ah don't know... Could it be any o' over a dozen things ya did when Ah lived there?"  
  
Pietro scoffed. "Yeah, right. What things?"  
  
"Let's see... burstin' in on me when Ah was in the shower-"  
  
"Wow, does THAT sound familiar..." Todd interrupted looking significantly at Tabitha.  
  
"I needed mouthwash!"  
  
"That's for sure."  
  
"Shut up, Froggy!"  
  
"Don't call me that, yo!"  
  
"-stealin' mah panties-"  
  
"Speedy! I've been wondering where those disappeared to!" Tabitha glared at the white-haired speedster.  
  
"I'm more worried about why he wanted them in the first place," Fred commented.  
  
Pietro's face took on a truly maniacal cast, his eyes gleaming. "It's for a little... project." He laughed evilly and rubbed his hands together.  
  
"He scares me, yo..." Todd inched just a little farther away from Pietro.  
  
"I'm living in a house with a bunch of lunatics," Lance muttered, his face still buried in his hands.  
  
"It really isn't that much worse compared ta the institute, Lance." Rogue patted his shoulder.  
  
"Really?" he asked, hopeful.  
  
"No, not really. It does get bad there though, especially with the new kiddies."  
  
"Dey're fun dough."  
  
"Yeah... Ah miss 'em... sorta." She shrugged.  
  
"So how far is this Crystal Rose place from the institute?" Todd asked, peeking out the tinted windows at the cars they were passing. Some he made faces at, knowing they couldn't see him.  
  
No one knew. "How about we ask the driver?" Fred suggested.  
  
"Couldn't hurt." Pietro nudged Tabitha. She rolled her eyes but tapped on the tinted glass to get the driver's attention. The window rolled down.  
  
"Can I help you, Miss?" he asked, glancing at her in the rearview mirror.  
  
She smiled slyly, noticing the driver was only in his early 20's. "I was just wondering how much longer it is till we get to the restaurant. But then a more important question came up in my head..."  
  
"And what would that be?"  
  
"What's a hottie like you doing on the roads on this joyous eve?" She leaned her elbow on the seat and tickled his ear. "You should be at home, relaxing..." she said huskily. Lance's head found his hands again.  
  
Rogue glanced at Remy, raising an eyebrow and tilting her head slightly towards the front. Her own alluring smirk made him question her motives. "Ah think we should mess with this guy a bit," she said, low enough that the driver wouldn't hear, but loud enough that all the guys did.   
  
Pietro leaned in. "What do you expect us to do while we watch you guys make out?" The jealousy was back again.  
  
"Ahh, Pietro, you're a resourceful guy. An' tormentin' is what ya do best. Ah should know." She turned her attention back to Remy, burying her head in his shoulder, biting him through the cloth of his long sleeved t-shirt.   
  
Remy yelped, startled at the feeling of her teeth through the material. "Now, chere, don' start somet'in' y' ain't willin' t' finish," he chided, voice already going husky.  
  
"Oh, Ah'm willing, sugah... Very willin'..."  
  
The driver's attention was by now only partly on the road, as he was glancing in the back more often than was strictly safe.  
  
By this time, the caffeine Todd had drunk was taking effect. He handed Pietro a bottle of the Jolt cola with a gleam in his eyes. Pietro took it and gulped it down as fast as his namesake. He convulsed a bit as the caffeine ran through his system, his eyes all but bugging out of his head. "Ooooohhhh yeah..."   
  
Lance just watched. Then he shook his head in a resigned fashion. The main thought in his head: "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em." He extended his hand to Todd, who happily handed him a bottle of Mountain Dew, which he drank down, watching as Fred was doing the same on the other end of the limo. They all raised their now empty bottles in a toast that by standards was considered late. But it didn't matter. They were given their mission, and they were ready to go.  
  
Remy pulled Rogue onto his lap. "Is that yoah bo staff or are ya just happy ta see me?" she purred.  
  
"Ain't de bo staff, chere."  
  
"Too much information!" Pietro complained loudly.  
  
She stuck her tongue out playfully at him before she focused on Remy. One of his gloved hands had made it to more sensitive areas and she didn't need the Brotherhood seeing the look on her face.  
  
Meanwhile, Tabitha was still working her magic up front. "So... how long have you been a limo driver?"  
  
"A year and a half," he gulped.  
  
"Best way to pick up chicks, hmm?" With that line, she slid completely out of the back and into the passenger seat, if almost on the driver's lap was considered the passenger seat.  
  
"Uh...huh..." In his head, he was chanting 'Must.keep.eyes.on.road...'  
  
She trailed a finger down his chin and giggled. The heat couldn't help but climb onto his face. Tabitha was leaning in to plant a kiss on his cheek, when she heard footsteps on the roof. Before she could check on who was still in the back, Todd stuck his head down on the windshield, laughing wildly.  
  
"Ahhhhhh!!" The driver began to swerve violently.   
  
"Hey, watch it, yo!!!" The head disappeared from the windshield.  
  
"Oh, don't mind him..." Tabitha scooted a little closer and put her hand on his thigh. The driver swallowed. Hard.  
  
Pietro stuck his head into the front part of the limo. "Hey,steponit,wouldyou?Icouldgetoutandwalkfasterthanthis!"  
  
After a moment of mental translation the driver understood what he'd said and glanced at the speedometer. It was at 75 mph. "Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you try!" he responded angrily, not liking his driving ability questioned.  
  
"Soundslikeachallenge!"  
  
Tabitha sighed and shook her head. "You had to say it, didn't you?"  
  
There was the slamming of one of the doors. The driver looked back frantically only to see one of his passengers missing. That passenger showed up an instant later next to his window and tapped on it.   
  
"What the HELL?!?" He rolled his window down.  
  
"I'llraceyou!" Pietro shouted over the rush of the wind.  
  
Competitive male instincts took over, burying shock and disbelief, and the driver slammed his foot on the gas pedal. "You're on!" There was a shriek from the top of the roof. It was duly ignored.  
  
"Hahaha!Isthatallyougot?!"  
  
Another shriek from the roof. "Guys! A little help please?!"  
  
Suddenly, the back of the limo was weighed down immensely and the front wheels actually lifted off the ground. "Gotcha, little buddy."  
  
"Poppingwheeliesnow,eh?" Pietro taunted him by speeding up even more until he was a good twenty feet in front of the limo. The driver narrowed his eyes and sped up even more, using the speed to get back on four wheels.  
  
Tabitha smirked as her hand slinked further into the driver's lap. His eyes rolled up into his head as she grazed his groin. Reflexively, because what else could he do, he slammed on the brakes, stopping the car from upward of 85 mph. Everyone in the car slammed forward, and fell into a heap.   
  
"What the hell is going on up there?" Lance hollered.  
  
The driver only saw Tabitha as he unbuckled his seat belt and climbed over to her seat. "Ohh, no, I don't think so," Tabitha growled. She gave him a nice right hook, proceeding to daze him. He gave one last attempt, before Lance reached up and clubbed his head with a full bottle of Coke. The driver fell unceremoniously on Tabitha. "Eww..." She pushed him off.  
  
"Ya WERE feelin' him up. What did ya expect?" Rogue muttered from under Remy.  
  
"How did you know what I was doing?"  
  
"It doesn't take a psychic ta figure it out. Ya're not exactly what they call chaste."  
  
"Hey!" She glared back at her. "I expect a remark like that out of Lance, but considering you were busy doing something else..." A blush rose on Rogue's cheeks, but Remy just grinned.  
  
Pietro popped his head in the driver's window. "What happened? I looked behind my shoulder and I couldn't see you guys at all! I ran back three miles and here you are all stopped and stuff." He saw the unconscious driver pushed to the side. "Whoa! What happened to him?"  
  
"He was getting fresh so I hit him," Tabitha replied, arms crossed over her chest.  
  
"Good for you, but now how do we get to the restaurant, eh?"  
  
"I can dri-" Tabitha started to offer.  
  
"NO!!!" Everyone in the car shouted at once. Tabitha crossed her arms and turned away with an offended look. Pietro opened his mouth.   
  
"There is NO WAY IN HELL we are letting you behind the wheel," Lance told him.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Yeah, you're even worse than her, yo!"  
  
"Hey!" Both Pietro and Tabitha turned and glared at the younger boy. He shrugged sheepishly and hid behind Fred.  
  
"Ugh, watch out," Rogue moaned as she slid into the front seat. She stripped off a glove. "Technically, none of us know how ta get there, so, Ah'll solve that problem. You guys can quarrel amongst yoahselves ta figure out who's gonna drive an' Ah'll direct."  
  
With a bit of squabbling, Lance was picked to drive. Remy was a likely candidate, but the Brotherhood debated over whether he would keep his eyes on the road with Rogue sitting next to him. He snorted at their accusations and handed the wheel over to Lance.  
  
Five minutes and about twenty honking horns later they were ready to move. The driver was securely placed in the back under the careful watch of Fred. Remy struck up a card game between Tabitha, Pietro and Todd while Rogue directed Lance amongst the streets of New York. After she had absorbed the driver, Rogue had some lingering thoughts of attraction towards Tabitha, but she quickly swallowed the bile in her throat and concentrated on more important matters.  
  
"Okay, we're here," Lance announced as he handed the keys to a valet. "Try not to get us kicked out."  
  
"Lance. I'm shocked. Don't you have any faith in us?" Tabitha asked in an innocent tone.  
  
"None whatsoever."  
  
  
TBC... 


	19. Orders and Chaos

They entered the restaurant. It was gorgeous. There were white tablecloths that could be seen through the entranceway, lush potted plants, and thick red carpet. Everything understated but very classy. They were all suitably impressed and a bit in awe. A snooty-looking maitre de eyed them and their clothing with contempt. "I don't believe our establishment would suit your needs. Why don't you go try McDonald's like good little street urchins?"  
  
There was a small rumble, a sure sign that even Lance was close to losing his temper, NOT a good sign all things considered. The man looked startled. Remy stepped ahead of them all and took the maitre de aside. He began talking rapidly in French, and once the name 'Xavier' slipped from his mouth, the maitre de paled slightly, but still wasn't completely convinced.  
  
"How do I know you didn't just look the name up?"  
  
Rogue and Tabitha exchanged a look, and their eyes lit up. Rogue stepped forward and batted her eyes. "Ah dunno... do ya guys think we should call Uncle Charles an' let him know that we weren't bein' treated with the utmost respect?"  
  
Remy handed Tabitha his cell phone. "Be my guest, p'tite."  
  
The man paled even further. "T-that won't be necessary," he stuttered. "Please step this way." He led them to a large table in a room in the back. "Someone will be here to serve you shortly."  
  
"Ooo," Tabitha marveled as Pietro helped her into a seat. "This place is sooo nice!"  
  
Fred's eyes followed a dessert cart going by. "Definitely," he drooled.  
  
Remy held Rogue's seat out for her as well. She smiled and placed her hand on top of his before sitting down. Remy scooted her in and took the seat next to her.  
  
"Umm..." Todd started looking at the menu. "Can someone tell me why this isn't in American?"  
  
Remy raised an eyebrow. "It's in French, mon ami," he said after examining it.  
  
"Terrific," Lance mumbled. "Where can I find a simple cheeseburger?"  
  
Remy stole a glance at Rogue. She smirked back as well. 'This is gonna be good.'  
  
"I'd be happy t' translate," Remy offered.  
  
Pietro gazed at him with barely concealed horror. "OhrightandendupwithGodknowswhatonmyplate?!Idon'tthinkso!"  
  
"Pietro, Ah think you an' Remy need ta get ovah yoah li'l rivalry. Remy has obviously moved on past it an' you need ta, too." She smiled warmly, tilting her head to the side. "Honestly."  
  
He stared at her for a moment. Just stared. Then he looked at his menu. "I'm having that," pointing at a picture of some roasted poultry. "Help who ever you want."  
  
Before Remy could retort, the waitress came up. "Bon jour and welcome to La Rose Cristal," she spoke in a light French accent, definitely practiced. "I'm Courtney, your waitress." The obviously forced professional smile was taking a toll from the long day. "May I take your drink orders?" The girl almost sighed from boredom. Four hours of this already. Damn, she hated Christmas.  
  
"Aww, p'tite. I'll just have a Coke." Remy took her hand. His eyes connected with her chocolate brown ones through the black, wrap-around shades and she just about melted. A deep blush rose on her face a couple shades darker than her maroon hair.   
  
"Umm..."  
  
"Ow!" Remy turned away from her for a moment to nurse his aching side. Rogue rubbed her elbow, a promise that she would do it again.  
  
"I'll have a Mountain Dew," Pietro told the waitress who was having a hard time keeping her eyes off Remy, much to Rogue's displeasure.  
  
"A lemonade," Todd informed her.  
  
"Hot chocolate for me," Fred said.  
  
"Water," Lance mumbled, head resting on his arms.  
  
"A mocha cappuccino," Rogue added in an icy tone, shooting daggers at the girl with her eyes.  
  
"Mm-hmm..." She finished scribbling then looked up and just sort of stared dreamily at Remy.  
  
Another girl, slightly older, also clearly a waitress, with waist-length dark brown hair entered the room before Rogue could snap and cause a scene. "Cor, sweetie, we have CUSTOMERS waiting. Now stop drooling at the hottie and worry about the rest of your tables."  
  
Courtney looked mortified. "Lilith!" she hissed. She bit her lip and stared wistfully at Remy one more time before being led away by the other waitress.   
  
Lilith smiled kindly. "She'll be back with more sense in her, I promise." She nodded her apologies to the fellow goth girl and left with the still blushing Courtney.  
  
Rogue watched them leave, glaring. "Ah don't want her back here."  
  
"Chere, it was all me on dat one. Give de girl a break."  
  
"Oh, so now it's customary foh ya ta flirt with all our waitresses? Wonderful! Lance, switch seats with me." She abruptly got up, waiting for him to move. Under her angry glare, he cowered and did as he was told.  
  
"At least HE won' elbow me."  
  
"Lance, elbow him."  
  
"Uh-uh. I want NO part of your little lover's quarrel."  
  
A few minutes later everyone had figured out what they wanted (with Remy's help) and the waitresses reappeared. The redhead was still slightly flushed and the brunette looked amused. "Now, you think you can stop salivating long enough to take their orders?"  
  
"Lil!"  
  
"Sorry, sorry." She didn't sound sorry at all. Her lips twitched and there was a mischievous glint in her green eyes. "I'll check up on you later. Be good." She slipped back out the huge arched doorway with a wink at the others.  
  
Courtney looked at her feet and then to Rogue. "Hey, I'm sorry about a few minutes ago... I was completely outta line considering you guys are a couple an' all." She noted to herself that the goth girl had changed her position as she handed her the cappuccino.  
  
"Don't worry 'bout it," Rogue answered simply, taking a sip of her drink. The waitress just nodded, not at all convinced she was forgiven. She barely second glanced Remy as she handed out the rest of the drinks.  
  
"Are you guys ready to order your meals or do you need a few more minutes?" The group said they were ready and after she'd gone around the table, scribbling down their orders, she excused herself and rushed away from the table. Rogue continued glaring at Remy.   
  
"Que? Can I help it if de femmes fall at m' feet?"  
  
"Ah don't even wanna hear it. Ya didn't hafta hold her hand an' bait her lahk that. How Ah could evah fall foh a guy lahk you confuses the hell outta me. It's not lahk Ah flirt with other guys raht in front o' you!"  
  
"What happened with Pietro back at de mansion, eh?!"   
  
"Ya know Ah was jokin'! An' it's different with him. We're here foh five minutes an' you're workin' yoah charm power lahk ya're God's gift ta women!"  
  
"Fine. Y' wan' get all pissy 'bout it, be m' guest. I don' fuckin' care." He angrily gulped his Coke, mistakenly getting bubbles up his nose, but to save his pride he ignored it. Rogue hmphed as well, sipping her cappuccino in the same matter, though her tongue didn't burn. 'Nothin' like invulnerability,' she decided.  
  
Toad eyed the two angry southerners and decided now was a good time to make himself temporarily scarce. "Um... I'm gonna go to the little boys' room, yo."  
  
Lance's head snapped up. "No! No stealing!"  
  
'How did he KNOW?!' "I wasn't! Geez..."  
  
There was a low hum as Pietro began to fidget, drumming his fingers against the table at super speed and glancing impatiently at his watch about every millisecond. "Man, how long is this gonna TAKE?"  
  
"Excuse me if Ah'm makin' this so uncomfortable foh you guys!" Rogue stood up and stalked away from the table. Tabitha shifted in her seat for a moment before deciding that Rogue needed another female to talk to. She nodded to Remy, wordlessly telling him that she'd try her best to calm her down. He sighed and waved her away.  
  
"You can't let her push you around like that. I mean, who wears the pants in this relationship?" Lance said.  
  
"Dammit! I can't sit still this long!" Pietro stood up and decided to roam. Lance figured he was getting mischievous, but if it got him out of his hair, who cared?  
  
Remy watched him go and sighed again. "I fucked up dis time, homme."  
  
"No, this is what you needed. You notice how you've been nothing but whipped by her since who knows how long? You need to show her how much she takes you for granted. I know how she works. She needs the attention, regardless of whether she knows it or not."  
  
"So y' sayin' I ignore her?"  
  
"Something like that. Not completely though."  
  
"I can' believe I'm get'in' girl advice from you o' all people."  
  
"Aww, c'mon, I'm a ladies guy myself."  
  
"I'll remember dat if I decide t' drop a buildin' on Rogue's maman."  
  
Lance growled at the obvious reference made towards Kitty and her parents, but then smiled. "That wouldn't be too bad an idea now that I think about it..."  
  
Remy smirked briefly. "Non. It wouldn'."  
  
"So wh-" There was a sudden shriek in the main dining room. Lance sighed. "Oh, I don't even want to KNOW what they're up to."  
  
TBC... 


	20. And Things Slip Further Out of Control

Meanwhile, Pietro had been busy causing trouble, unnoticed. He'd already "rearranged" several tables, drawn lude pictures in a few of the empty alcoves with a pen he'd "liberated" from one of the waiters, replaced the salt with sugar and vice versa in several places, and "spiced up" the meals of a few patrons who hadn't been paying close enough attention... among other things.  
  
He slid under the table of a rather attractive couple in their twenties and began running his hand up the inside of the woman's leg.  
  
"Ooh, Michael... You bad boy..."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Touching me like that in here..."  
  
"Um... I'm not touching you, dear."  
  
"OH MY GOD!"  
  
Pietro escaped, unseen, before her heel could connect. "Heh heh heh," he chuckled evilly.  
  
"Ahem." His eyes widened when he turned saw the brunette waitress standing there, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. "I believe this is your cue to say 'curses, foiled again.'"  
  
"Curses foiled again?" he said weakly.  
  
"Back to your table, perv boy."  
  
"Perv boy?!"  
  
She just looked at him, trying not to laugh at his deeply insulted expression. She just motioned towards the room the others had all been sitting in. Lance and Remy were still glancing around wildly at all the areas that Pietro had struck (at least the ones they could see through the archway, anyway). Michael from the one table was getting an earful from his distressed date, while a number of other people were spitting out their food and drinks because of the mixed tastes. Just as they finally found Pietro being chided by Lilith, a shriek erupted from both the kitchen and the bathroom area.  
  
Remy and Lance simultaneously put their heads in their hands. "Who said dis wasn' gon' be a big deal?"  
  
"I can't remember."  
  
"Good. Cuz' I'm gon' hurt whoever did."  
  
Lilith had turned at the shriek which was closely followed by the sound of a small explosion and saw a sobbing woman with semi-charred clothes come running out of the ladies' room. Pietro nearly escaped but she caught him by the ear and towed him over to the seat.  
  
"Owowowowowowowow!"  
  
"Sit."   
  
He sat. She gave him a warning look for good measure. He returned it with his most angelic face. She was not fooled. Courtney, looking irritated, came up a moment later with a shamefaced Todd shuffling in front of her. "I caught him in the coatroom going through the pockets of our guests' coats. Be happy I don't report him to the manager." Hands on her hips, she watched with narrowed eyes as Todd slumped into his seat.  
  
Lilith sighed and looked at Lance, who once again had his head buried in his hands. "Can't you control them?"  
  
"You think I haven't tried?!"  
  
"You guys realize that you haven't even been here fifteen minutes and all this is happening?" Courtney gestured furiously to the havoc occurring everywhere.  
  
"That'll teach you to get involved in matters that don't concern you!" A voice that couldn't belong to anyone but Tabitha shouted as another women left the bathroom in distress.  
  
Courtney and Lilith looked at each other. "I'm not going in there," Courtney said quickly.  
  
"What makes you think I am?"  
  
"I'll go," Pietro suggested. Two very stern glares were the waitresses' responses. He slouched in his seat. "Just trying to be helpful, geez."  
  
  
  
Rogue leaned against the sink in the very nicely decorated bathroom as Tabitha chased out any poor women who needed to powder up or relieve themselves. "It isn't that big a deal, Rogue. Couples fight all the time."  
  
"But he knows what Ah'm lahk," Rogue said for the fifth time. 'Doesn't she freakin' get it?'  
  
"Oh, he's just sulking. He's a guy. He'll get over it. Their attention spans aren't that long anyway."  
  
Rogue sighed as she dabbed at the corner of her eyes with a paper towel. "It's different with him. With Remy... He makes me feel like any other teenage girl. An' when he pulls shit like this, it makes me wanna hit him so fuckin' bad..." She curled her hand into a fist and slowly pushed it into the marble counter of the sink.  
  
"Rogue." She turned Rogue away from the mirror to look her straight in the eyes. "A guy is a guy is a guy. You gotta understand that common sense is the only thing keeping them from turning into complete idiots, and sometimes that even fails."  
  
Rogue shrugged. "Ah guess."  
  
"Just go out there and act like nothing happened. You will take your seat again and just put your hand on his and be like 'What're ya gonna order, sugah?' or whatever sappy sweet stuff you say to him."  
  
The southerner hmphed slightly at the poor impersonation of her accent. "Why should Ah take yoah advice?"  
  
"Cause you're desperate and I'm your only hope."  
  
"Oh, yeah." Then, after a moment, "Ah'm doomed."  
  
"Relax. I'm the QUEEN of relationships, babe."  
  
"Is that why Ah'm so scared?" Rogue rolled her eyes and turned back to the mirror, subconsciously checking her appearance for the 3rd time. 'Great, he's got me so upset Ah'm turnin' vain.'  
  
"Just go back out there. You're acting like a child all sulking in here."  
  
Rogue whirled back around and glared at Tabitha. "A child?"  
  
Tabitha stared at her with an unchanged expression. "You heard me."  
  
"Ya realize Ah could kick yoah ass without breakin' a sweat."  
  
Tabitha smiled and put a hand on Rogue's shoulder, gently steering her out of the restroom. "Now, Rogue, violence is such an unhealthy way to deal with anger. Breathe. Out with anger, in with love."  
  
She growled loud enough for Tabitha to hear over the hum of gossiping people. Tabitha just looked at her innocently, expecting her to heed her advice. Rogue shook her head, and kept her glare forward. She caught sight of their table, the two waitresses still there. Another growl erupted from her throat. "Calm..." Tabitha soothed. They continued walking closer, not noticing the sudden rush toward the woman's restroom behind them and resulting cat-fight over who was first.  
  
"You think you can manage to stay out of trouble for the five minutes it will take for the appetizers to get here?" they heard the brunette ask. Todd sunk deeper into his seat and Pietro opened his mouth. "That was rhetorical. For your sake I hope the word 'no' never even crossed your minds."  
  
"Hey, isn't it against the rules to threaten the paying customers?" Pietro protested.  
  
"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" She favored him with fake sugary smile. "Anyway, we heard that you're here because of that ritzy Xavier guy. He's the one paying, not you."  
  
Remy smiled simply. "We'll be good. Go 'head an' get t' work before y' get in trouble."  
  
Lilith returned the smile sincerely and walked away, Courtney trailing at her heels. She kept her face low as they walked by Rogue and Tabitha. The blond reached the table first and took her seat, while Rogue stood standing. She glanced to Tabitha, who raised her eyebrows towards her original seat.  
  
"Lance, if ya don't mind, could Ah have mah seat back?"  
  
"Umm," he glanced to Remy, who remained stone-faced. "Sure..."  
  
"Thanks." She sat down and sipped her cappuccino, which was cooling quickly.  
  
Fred broke the uncomfortable silence. "So what do you think the food's like?"  
  
"Is that all you think about?" Todd rolled his eyes.  
  
"No. I think about... stuff." Lance snorted. "Unlike Lance who has Kitty on the brain twenty-four-seven."  
  
"Hey! Why are you bringing me into this?"  
  
"See? He admits it!" Pietro snickered.  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"Oh, then you wouldn't care that she's sitting right over there," Fred said with a gesture through the arch.  
  
"Where?!" Lance's head jerked as he excitedly scanned the other tables.  
  
"Now, Freddy, that wasn't nice. You'll give him whiplash," Tabitha said in a disapproving tone, even as her mouth curled up at the corners. Lance slouched in his seat with a forlorn look on his face as he realized he'd been tricked.  
  
Pietro sat, twiddling his thumbs from boredom. "Do you think she'll notice if I left the table?"  
  
"Who?" Tabitha asked.  
  
"That one waitress. She pulled on my ear!" He rubbed the aforementioned ear for dramatic effect.  
  
"Ah don't suggest you get on her bad side. She doesn't look like she forgives easily."  
  
"Like another goth I know," Remy muttered into his hand.  
  
Rogue turned to glare at him, but didn't speak a word. She just looked back to her drink. She inwardly cringed. 'Ah'm actually takin' Tabby's advice an' not actin' like a child.' She glanced to the blonde. 'She better not get all high an' mighty on me now because Ah listened to her.' Tabitha, catching Rogue's eye, nodded and smiled encouragingly. Rogue sighed. Pietro was half-rising from his seat when the two waitresses and another waiter entered each carrying two large trays covered with plates of food.  
  
"Iwasn'tgettingup,Iswear!Iwasjuststretchingmymuscles!" There was a storm of coughing around the table, all of it sounding remarkably similar to word "guilty."  
  
Lilith narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I'm sure you were. That's why I asked the chef to hurry. Just in case you decided to 'stretch your muscles' again."  
  
TBC... 


	21. Appetizers and Screams

Fred's eyes followed the platters that Courtney and the new waiter lowered down amongst the seven of them. He tried his best to keep his tongue from hanging out of his mouth. Finally, after all the waiting, his order was placed in front of him; some sliced chicken with sauce, a large salad, some reddish soup, a few other various dishes, and something else that looked very odd to him.  
  
"Umm... what's that?" Being the most sensible guy in the world, he'd asked Remy about the menu.  
  
"If I tell y', y' won't like it. Trust me, it's good."  
  
"You'll tell me the name after I eat it?"  
  
"Oui."  
  
"All right..." He took his fork and poked at the small portion of meat. Shrugging to himself, he stuck his fork in completely and picked the thing up whole. Not worrying a bit about looking dignified, he shoveled it into his mouth. "Hmm..." he murmured. "This IS good. What is it?"  
  
"Frog."  
  
Todd did a double take. "What?!" He looked at his own plate, which Remy had helped him order too. "I ain't eatin' this, no way, yo."  
  
"I wasn' gon' make y' a cannibal, homme. Yours is just duck... I t'ink." The freshman looked horrified. "Dose over dere are snails if it makes y' feel bet'er." Todd was delighted.   
  
The group had ordered a real variety of things. The whole of the appetizer menu was set on the table, with what everyone had ordered. After all, it wasn't their dime and it's good to try new things, right? Besides, anything they didn't want Freddy would likely eat.  
  
"Everything is to your satisfaction?" The group nodded with their mouths full. "Good. We'll be back in a bit with the main courses," Lilith told them.  
  
The young man who had helped the girls carry the food in looked shocked. "That was just the appetizers?!"  
  
Lilith sighed and shook her head. "You see what I have to put up with?"  
  
Courtney pushed the young man away. "All I care is that they tip well."   
  
"I'm getting some of it, right?" he asked.  
  
"Mm-hmm," she replied, all the while turning back to run her finger across her neck and shake her head to Lilith.  
  
Lilith nodded at her. Then, with a slightly pitying look at the boy, "Okay, hun, let's go. You still need to get the orders from several of your tables."   
  
He looked stricken. "Which ones are mine again?" Lilith took a deep breath and looked like she was trying very hard to keep her patience. Courtney noticed and led him to the doorway, pointing out the tables that were his. He smiled thankfully and hurried off.  
  
"He won't last the week," the redhead predicted.  
  
"Thank God for that," Lilith said, coming up from behind Courtney. "I hate newbies. I just want to... grr."  
  
"Cool it. Bert's alright, just a li'l out there."  
  
"A LITTLE? Yeah. That's it. Look, why don't you see if the Xavier kids need anything," she suggested.  
  
"Sure. I'll let ya know if I need help," she replied, rolling her eyes. Lilith laughed at Courtney's rotten luck and went off to her own tables.  
  
Fred was mostly through what he'd ordered when Courtney reappeared at the table. "Is everything all right here?"  
  
Rogue lifted up her mug. "Ah need a new mocha."  
  
"Sure..." She quickly took the mug, trying not to make eye contact. She had a feeling the other girl still wasn't exactly happy with her. "Anyone else?"  
  
"I need some more napkins," Fred mumbled through food.  
  
Courtney nodded. "Anything else?"  
  
"Your phone number," Pietro piped up.  
  
Needless to say, Courtney was taken aback. "Excuse me?"  
  
Before she could blink, the white-haired teen was by her side. "Yeah... you're cute." He smiled slyly.  
  
Courtney showed him her own mischievous smile. "Do I need to get Lilith back here?"  
  
He paled and was back in his seat in an instant. "Nonono.That'sokay.Noneedforthat."  
  
She smirked and nodded. "That's what I thought. I'll be back in a second." She left again.  
  
"Ah nevah thought Ah'd see the day where you were afraid of a girl, Pietro," Rogue laughed.  
  
"I'm scared of you, aren't I?"  
  
"Ah knew you were smarter than you looked." She winked at him and picked up her fork so she could begin eating. "How's the food so far?"  
  
"Terrific," Fred exclaimed.  
  
"These snails ain't half bad," Todd noted.  
  
"Ah think Ah'll pass on those though... thanks." She shivered. Her eyes floated across the many plates on the table and spotted the last croissant. She reached for it, coincidentally the same time as Remy.  
  
"M' fault. Y' can have it. Y' haven't eaten anyt'in' yet."  
  
"Ya fine with half?" She smiled slightly.  
  
"Sure." She picked it up and broke it in half, handing him his part. "Merci."  
  
"Welcome." She looked back at her plate and munched quietly. She hated the awkwardness, but both were too proud to apologize.  
  
There was a loud crash out in the dining area. "That one was NOT our fault," Todd said needlessly.  
  
Before any of them could investigate Lilith and Courtney entered holding two more trays each. Lilith looked extremely irritated. "Part of your meal will be a little late," she informed them. "Bert had a little accident."  
  
"Two if you count Lil kicking him in the ribs when he was flat on his face."  
  
"I tripped!"  
  
"Riiight, 'cause you're just sooo uncoordinated," Courtney returned sarcastically. She smiled brightly at the others. "Lilith has anger management issues."  
  
Lilith could be heard muttering long strings of obscenities under her breath. She caught everyone looking at her. "What?!" she snapped. Everyone else turned back to the appetizers. Courtney handed out what had been asked for before, then started setting out main meals, miraculously finding a way to clear the empty plates from earlier in the process.  
  
With a sigh, she leaned against one of the walls. "My God, do I need a massage after this," she mumbled. Then she put on her best smile for the others. "I'll see how your other food is coming along." The two waitresses left.  
  
"That went well," Lance muttered. "At least this time it was chaos we didn't cause."  
  
Todd was eyeing Pietro in a devious sort of way.   
  
"What?Whyareyoulookingatmelikethat?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"What?!Idemandyoustopstaringatmelikethefreakylittletoadboyyouareandtellme!!"  
  
"I dare you to ask the scary waitress chick out next time she comes in." Pietro looked horror-stricken and sputtered. "Unless you're not up to the challenge..."  
  
  
TBC... 


	22. The Challenge and Numerous Threats of Bo...

Pietro's eye twitched. If there'd been a telepath present at the table, they would've heard Pietro projecting thoughts like: "Must take challenge... but challenge is too horrible! Wait... no challenge is too horrible... But, her! She'll sprout fangs and bite my head off! Challenge... Always up for challenge... Damn, Todd knew what to say..."  
  
"Is he gonna be all raht?" Rogue asked as Pietro's eyes moved in a way that, had he been normal, would have been a sign of convulsions as he went back and forth between decisions.  
  
"He does this occasionally," Lance explained. "He'll be alright in a minute or so."  
  
"C'mon, buddy," Todd taunted. "The clock is ticking..."  
  
"Evil!Evillittletoadboy!Evil!" The others laughed. "Fine,I'lldoit,butifshekillsormaimsmeinanywaythenitwillbeonyourhead!!!"  
  
Todd shrugged it off. "Whatever, yo." He motioned in the direction of the kitchen, to where Courtney and Lilith were once again headed in the direction of their table. "Here's your chance." He snickered.  
  
The waitresses came wielding huge plates in each of their hands. Courtney lowered one plate in front of Fred, while, coincidentally enough, Lilith placed the other two on Pietro's side of the table. Todd coughed trying to conceal a burst of laughter. The white-haired boy opened and closed his mouth several times, nothing coming out.  
  
"Pietro, speechless. I never thought I'd see the day," Lance snickered.  
  
"You look like a fish," Tabitha giggled, pointing. Pietro glared at them both.  
  
Lilith noted their comments and finally looked at Pietro. Yep, fish was a pretty accurate observation. The blonde gets points for that one, she decided. "Oh dear," she said with fake concern. "Is there something wrong?"  
  
Pietro closed his mouth again and looked at Lilith. "I, umm..." Lilith looked at him and waited for his response.  
  
"I do have other tables to wait on, so could we speed this up a bit?"  
  
'Ugh, just get it over with.' "Doyouwannagetsomecoffeeafteryou'reoffwork?"  
  
"Run that by me again?"  
  
"Do.you.want.to.go.out.after.you're.done.with.work?"  
  
Lilith's eyes widened. "What?" She looked at Courtney, who just shrugged, awestruck herself. "Let me get this straight. I just threatened you repeatedly... and you're asking me out?"  
  
"Yes?" He sounded unsure.  
  
A smirk pulled at her lips and she patted him on the cheek patronizingly. "I don't think so."  
  
"What? Like I can't handle a date with you?" His pride was making an appearance.  
  
"Actually, no. I think the whips and chains beneath my bed alone would send you running away, screaming." Pietro paled once again, looking disturbed and more than a little fearful. There was a general gaping around the table. Lilith laughed. "Kidding. I don't really have any whips or chains." There was another crash and the sound of cursing. "Hmm... Better go check on that..." She left.  
  
Pietro followed her with his eyes. "She scares me," he informed Courtney.  
  
"Don't feel bad. She has that effect on most of the male population."  
  
Todd couldn't hold it in any longer. He burst out laughing, along with Lance and Fred. "Damn, she shot you down big time!" Remy couldn't help it either and started laughing as well, coughing slightly on the food in his mouth. Rogue smacked his back gently. Food sputtered out of his mouth and landed on Pietro's shirt.   
  
"Gee, thanks."  
  
"Aww..." Courtney pouted. "Poor li'l boy," she patted his head, toying with the white strands. "Is itty bitty baby's ego bruised?"  
  
Pietro scowled and swatted her hand away. "Don't you have other tables to tend to?"  
  
"Actually, no, my boss decided you guys are at least enough work to occupy at the one person all alone so I'm here to tend to your every need." She gave a little curtsy. Pietro didn't look amused. "Fine. I'll be back with refills." She rolled her eyes, thinking 'can't anyone take a joke?' as she walked away.  
  
Pietro glared the still giggling Todd.  
  
"Oh,yeah?!Youthinkit'ssofunny?HowaboutItellLilithyoudaredmetoask'thescarywaitresschick'out?"  
  
Todd stopped laughing. "You wouldn't."  
  
Pietro had the upper hand now. "This is me, Toddy. Of course I would."  
  
Todd's green lips began to tremble. "But... but... I don't wanna die!" he wailed.  
  
Courtney was grinning as she returned with drinks. This table was just too much fun to stay away from for an extended period of time. She did hear Todd's cries though. How could she not at that volume? "Aww, Todd," she gathered him into a hug since she was just that type of girl that hugged strangers.   
  
He shuddered against her while she gained another death glare from Pietro. "Is this because I asked for your number?"  
  
"Not at all. I'm a bitch to every guy that deserves it. And lemme tell ya, you deserve it."  
  
"And there we have," Lance began, "the lesson of the day."  
  
"Whose side are you on?" Pietro countered.   
  
"The side that gets hugged." Courtney took the cue and stepped over to give him a hug. She could've sworn she heard him murmur something about smelling like a cat, but she ignored it. She stood after a moment. "So you guys want anything else?"  
  
"A new waitress?"   
  
She slapped Pietro upside the head without looking at him. "Be nice or I'll get Lil."  
  
"Um... I'd like a few more things," Fred spoke up. Those 'few more things' ended up being quite a list.  
  
"Got it." She finished writing down the order, shoved the notepad into her pocket and took a few empty plates on her way out.  
  
Pietro glared at her as she left. "I don't like her."  
  
"Me neither," Rogue agreed. She'd realized the damn waitress, who'd just been staring at Remy with awe, would have hung all over him if Rogue wasn't present.  
  
"Dere's not'in' wrong wit' eit'er o' de waitresses. I rat'er have dem den some borin' slob who doesn' interact wit' de customers."  
  
Tabitha nodded. "Yeah. These two are fun. Go with it, Rogue. She's not hitting on Remy anymore so what's the big deal?" Rogue glared at her.  
  
"Y' still upset ov'r dat?" Remy asked her.  
  
"A li'l bit," she admitted.  
  
"I wish y' wouldn' get so damn jealous all de time. Y' got not'in' t' worry 'bout when it comes t' us."  
  
Lance began making frantic "No!" motions to Remy behind Rogue's back.  
  
"Oh, raht," she scoffed. "All the pretty girls with TOUCHABLE skin are fallin' over themselves ta be with ya an' Ah have nothin' ta worry about? Please. Tell me another one."  
  
Lance slapped his forehead silently.  
  
"Oh, look, Remy. Someone as insecure as you are," Pietro pointed out cheerfully. Rogue turned to him with a deadly look. "Wow.IthinkI'llgosomewhereI'mlesslikelytohavemylifeendedinaprematureandgruesomeway.Bye!"  
  
"Fifteen bucks Lilith has him back within ten minutes," Todd said to Lance after the other boy had sped away.  
  
"You're on!"  
  
Todd slammed the money on the table, as did Lance. "Wait... Where did you get that money?" Lance asked suspiciously.  
  
"I earned it," Todd said, sticking his chest out proudly. He received a cynical glance. "I swear!"  
  
"And how exactly?" Fred intervened.   
  
"I, umm, well, it's like this, yo..."  
  
"How's this: if you didn't steal it from any of us, then it's legit."  
  
"It's cool then. I got it from that guy over there." Todd pointed it to a guy who was getting ready to leave. He reached in his pocket for his wallet, coming up empty handed. Saying he looked slightly peeved would've been a vast understatement.  
  
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY WALLET?!?!"  
  
People started to turn in their seats to see a man wearing a gray suit standing and slowly turning red in the face. They began to whisper to each other with scandalized looks on their faces. A moment later Lilith was striding toward the table. She sent a nearly imperceptible glance toward them before concentrating on the irate man.  
  
"Think she knows?" Todd asked softly.  
  
"Probably, homme," Remy answered, drawn away from his argument with Rogue by the yelling. By now the whole restaurant was watching the scene.  
  
"What seems to be the prob-" Lilith started.  
  
"SOMEONE STOLE MY WALLET!!!"   
  
"Please, lower your voice."  
  
"I WILL NOT!"   
  
Lilith's polite waitress persona was beginning to slip. "I'm sorry but we have a strict policy against those who come in here to eat and don't have the money to pay for their meals."  
  
"I WAS ROBBED YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Her expression closed as she turned and began walking away from him. "AREN'T YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING?!"  
  
"Of course, sir." She didn't bother to stop or turn around to address him.  
  
Rogue laughed softly. "I'm surprised she even knew that word."  
  
The man, somewhat mollified, sat back down. He had the attention of every patron within earshot or eyeline, much to his displeasure. "What are you looking at?!" No one so much as looked away.  
  
Lilith was back in less than a minute with two men in their twenties who appeared to be twins. Both were blond, blue-eyed and good-looking, as well as at least six and a half feet tall and the owners of some very impressive muscles. They were clad all in black and frowning.  
  
"This is Hans and Sven," she introduced with relish, a malicious smile on her lips. The two towered over the girl at her 5'2 height. The man was beginning to look extremely nervous.  
  
"We heard you refused to pay and called Lil an unpleasant name," Sven said ominously, cracking his knuckles.  
  
"You know, she's like a little sister to us," Hans added, tapping his fist against his open palm. "We don't like people being rude to her."  
  
The man was sweating and white as a sheet. "I-I-I-uh-well-my-er-"  
  
TBC... 


	23. Bets and Big Boys

"Ooo..." escaped Todd's mouth as he watched Hans and Sven pluck the man out of his seat and "escort" him out of the room.  
  
Lilith dusted off her hands happily and walked over to the mutants' table. "I never did like him," she commented offhand. Then she saw Pietro's empty seat. "Where's my favorite customer at?"  
  
Todd's hand sneaked towards the cash on the table, but was slapped away by Lance. "We're not sure. He went for a walk."  
  
Lilith caught note of Todd's hand. "Aww, is the beginning of your tip for Courtney and me? You're too kind." Before either Todd or Lance could react, she swiped the cash away and tucked it in the front pocket of her apron. "I'd better go find that little weasel... See ya!" She sauntered away.  
  
"Wait... what just happened to my money?" Lance asked.  
  
"Aaaall gone, homme," Remy said, amused. Both shot him evil looks.  
  
"Well, I suppose it's sort of a moot point whether she gets him now," Lance observed. They saw Courtney headed toward the table, with two trays in her hands and a blond waitress behind her carrying two more.  
  
"Hi, guys. What did I miss? I heard yelling from the kitchen. Your fault again?"  
  
Todd whistled innocently. Lance answered, "I am shocked and appalled that you're labeling us like that."  
  
"So it was you!" She giggled, setting her trays on the table. "No biggie. What happened?"  
  
"These two big body builders came out," Fred explained. "Very big and very Swedish."  
  
"Ahh, that would be Hans and Sven." Courtney smiled. "Those two are the best. They help me and Lil shop sometimes."  
  
"Shop?" Tabitha asked.  
  
"That's what I said," she said nonchalantly as if two muscular men always help two girls with their clothing choices. "Anyway, some non-paying guy annoy Lilith, I'm assuming?"  
  
"Yeah..." Todd answered nervously. "How'd you know?"  
  
"Call it a hunch."   
  
"What exactly do they do?" Tabitha asked.  
  
The blonde waitress spoke up. "Well, first they start by making their victims strip completely down, which is so totally yummy, so they can search for any source of money and then-"  
  
"Shuttup, Brittany!" Courtney growled venomously. "You know the rules of Hans and Sven, nothing leaves the room! And what are you doing looking at forty-year-old men like that anyway? God!" She looked at the teens at the table. "Can you believe they make me work with her!?"   
  
"Hey, there's no need to be frontin'," Brittany snapped, acting all ''cool" and such.  
  
"Just put the damn plates down and go back to putting your makeup on. Your line of paying men is growing so you better get that mouth ready," Courtney snapped in return.  
  
Brittany glared at her but did as she was told. She turned to leave, sticking her nose up in the air. "God, I hate that bitch." Courtney slumped down into Pietro's seat unconsciously. "You have no idea how much restraint it takes me to keep from bringing a match up to her ear to see if the air inside catches on the heat. I'm trying to decide if her head is full of helium or hydrogen. I'm hoping hydrogen so it'll pop..." Courtney got a far away sadistic look in her eyes.  
  
Rogue's eyes quirked. "You have thoughts like that, too?"  
  
Courtney continued to glare in the direction of the kitchen. "About that girl? Definitely."  
  
Rogue nodded, trying to avoid the "I told you she was cool" look from both Tabitha and Remy. "So, these two boys had a bet goin' on about Lilith finding Pietro..." she said, nodding her head towards Lance and Todd.  
  
"Oooh! I want in! What's the wager?"  
  
"Fifteen," Todd mumbled. "Until she took it away."  
  
"Lilith took your money?" Both boys nodded sheepishly. "Oh, that girl is such a doll. She'd better be splitting it with me. So who said she would find him?" Todd raised his hand a bit. "Aww, that's my boy." She stood up and gave him another hug. "Do you think it would be cheating if I helped her find him?"  
  
"I don't think it matters much since she has the money."  
  
"Hmm, good point. Oh, well, it'll be fun. Be back soon!" She strolled away.  
  
"That girl is wacked, yo."  
  
  
  
Lilith stepped out of the kitchen, nearly colliding with Courtney. "Gimme some of the money," Courtney said instantly.  
  
"Damn, how'd you know?" She sighed as she pulled out half of her takings and handed it over.  
  
Courtney shrugged as she pocketed the cash. "They told me they bet on whether you'd find Pietro. You up for it?"  
  
Lilith looked at her watch. "Was there a time limit?"  
  
"Didn't ask," She cursed under her breath. "But then they said it doesn't matter since we actually have the money in our custody..."  
  
"Let's go anyway. It'll be better than waiting on tables for a few minutes."  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
"Hmm... Where to start..."  
  
"Security room?"   
  
"Good idea." They walked though a nearly invisible door set in one of the walls marked "employees only." The blond twins were leaning back in their chairs, feet propped up on a desk, watching several monitors which were showing black and white shots of various parts of the restaurant. The man they had dragged away earlier was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"I guess we shouldn't ask where that jerk-off is?" Courtney asked. Hans simply shook his head. "Gotcha."  
  
"Hey, boys," Lilith started. "Have you seen a guy with white hair, about yay tall," she held her hand up a bit taller than herself, "extremely annoying?"  
  
Hans and Sven looked at each other and nodded. They pointed mutely to the door beyond the security room. "Saw something go that way. Not sure of what. You girls want us to check it out?"  
  
"No thanks, doll," Courtney said, tracing her finger along Sven's arm, keeping her squeaks to herself. Hot arms... weakness deluxe. "Nah, I think this is something we should handle on our own, right, Lil?"  
  
"Damn straight."  
  
"Suit yourselves. Just call us if you need anybody pounded on," Sven said.  
  
Lilith gave them each a quick peck on the cheek. "Always."   
  
Leaving Hans and Sven to their leisure, they went to check out the room that Pietro was allegedly hiding in, Courtney taking the lead. She paused with her hand on the doorknob, looked back, and nodded to the gothic girl, who in turn, smiled. "Go for it," she urged.   
  
Courtney grinned and pushed the door open. "Oh cutie-pie? Are you in here?" Nothing.  
  
Lilith gave it a try. "Aww, Pietro, you think we don't know you're in here, but there's no way out beyond this point..." Still nothing. "Well, I guess he's not here," she said in a loud, overly contrived voice, like you use on children when you know they're in the room and hiding but want to make a big production over pretending not to know. Courtney gave her a questioning look which the brunette answered with a quick smile. "I guess we'll just have to look somewhere else. After all, this door can't be opened from the inside and there's nothing worthwhile in here anyway."  
  
A mumbled "oh shit" was faintly heard. Courtney grinned. "C'mon, let's try the employee lounge next. That's the next best place."  
  
"Very true..." A small rustling was heard.  
  
"We should get going. This place gives me the creeps sometimes." Courtney started walking back towards the door, making her footsteps slightly louder just for the hell of it.   
  
"Girls!" Hans called from the other room.   
  
"Yes?" They both answered simultaneously in sing-songy voices.   
  
"He's in there."  
  
They turned around again. "What are you talking about, silly?" Courtney giggled, acting quite ditzy. "I don't see him anywhere!"  
  
Another rustle. Lilith gave a dramatic shudder. "Let's go. I've seen rats in here that could take on MY cat and win." There was a small "eep" and the white-haired boy made a break for it. Lilith caught him by the back of the shirt as he tried to pass her. "Why there you are, Pietro!" she exclaimed in a fake surprised tone.  
  
He let out a shriek before trying to run again, but Courtney had grabbed hold of his arm. "Now, Pietro, whatever were you doing in the storage room?"  
  
He shrugged. Why the hell WAS he in the storage room?  
  
"Now, you have to come up with something better than that," Lilith chided as she pushed him into the monitor room. Hans and Sven cranked their heads towards them. "These are our buddies, Hans and Sven. Say 'hi' to the boys, Pietro."  
  
He waved shyly with his free hand. "Hey. What's going on?"  
  
"This is the guy that's been giving you two trouble?" Sven said, standing up. Pietro's view suddenly went from eye contact to muscular chest view. His eyes widened almost comically. Then he watched in disbelief as the tough girl who'd scared him earlier dissolved into a helpless little girl act.  
  
"I've been trying to wait my tables and he's always THERE, doing SOMEthing. It's so hard for me not to break down in front of all those people, but it just gets to be so much... An-and then that man yelled at me..." She sniffled for effect.  
  
Pietro gaped. "Wha? But she- she-" he stuttered.  
  
Hans and Sven, though in no way taken in by her act, played along. Hans laid a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Lily. This little punk won't bother you anymore."  
  
Lilith nodded, her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. Hans pulled her into a hug and she let him. His gigantic chest hid her smile.   
  
"You're coming with me," Sven said, pointing at Pietro and then himself as he spoke.   
  
"Not if you have to catch me first!" Pietro attempted again to run, but unfortunately for him, Courtney still had his arm in a solid lock. She grinned sardonically as she all but handed him over to Sven. Then she walked over to Lilith.   
  
"C'mon, hun. We better see if his friends need anything else." Lilith nodded, and allowed Courtney to lead her out of the room, shutting the door behind them. Pietro swore he could hear them both giggling.  
  
  
  
Lilith leaned against wall outside, clutching her stomach and laughing hysterically. "Oh, my God! Did you see the look on his face?!"  
  
"I know! And that innocent act of yours is just too freaking much!" Courtney, next to her, could barely breathe she was cracking up so hard.  
  
TBC... 


	24. It's Not Paranoia If They ARE Out to Get...

Back at the mutant teens' table, Tabitha caught sight of the two waitresses. "Umm, what do you think is up with them?" Everyone glanced in their direction. The girls felt the gazes on them and looked back. They smiled again, and proceeded to crack up again because it was just too much to hold in.  
  
"Something tells me I don't wanna know," Lance said.  
  
Fred stuck his hand up and motioned them over. Todd tried to tug his hand down. "What are you doing that for?!" he hissed.  
  
"I'm still hungry, and I want dessert," he responded innocently. All others still seated at the table groaned.  
  
"You're ALWAYS hungry, Blob," Lance said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Hey, I'm a growing boy!"  
  
"Yeah, growing sideways."  
  
"No one understands me."  
  
The waitresses reached the table in time to hear the little squabble. "I understand you, buddy," Courtney said. "Well, sorta. My brother is like that, too. Good ol' Fred-"  
  
"Hey! That's my name too!"  
  
Her eyes lit up. "Imagine that!" She smiled. "But I bet you're not a football player though, huh?"  
  
"I eat 'em for breakfast," he joked.  
  
She pointed a finger at him playfully. "You stay away from my big brother then." Her professionalism found its way out again and she pulled out her notepad. "Alright, besides Freddy here, is anyone ready for dessert?" Lilith, who had actually gone for a moment, came back with an armful of the dessert menus. She passed them around including one at Pietro's seat.  
  
"Should he be back soon?" Todd asked.  
  
Lilith shrugged. "That depends to what my boys did to him." She smiled sweetly.  
  
"Hans and Sven? You sicced THEM on him?" he yelped.  
  
"Oh, 'sicced' is such a strong word. I prefer 'introduced.'"  
  
Todd nodded, sinking down in his seat. "Do me a favor and never 'introduce' us formally."  
  
"Don't give me a reason to," she countered, smirk present on her face.  
  
"Deal."  
  
Just then they saw Pietro stumble out of the room, his skin an unhealthy gray tone. His whole posture screamed of the paranoia you normally only find in spies and double agents. His eyes were wider than normal and kept flicking around nervously.  
  
Tabitha got up and ran over to him. "Speedy? You okay?" He mumbled something too quickly for Tabitha to decipher. She wrapped an arm around him and walked him back to his seat at the table. "Now, Pietro, you're gonna be a good boy from now on, right?" Lilith chastised.  
  
He shot a weak glare in her direction before glancing around warily at no one in particular. Anything that made a noise instantly had his attention.   
  
Lance sent Lilith an irritated look. "Your 'boys' broke him."  
  
"They did not! He's not even bruised!"  
  
"He's bein' quiet now so Ah have no complaints."  
  
"Rogue, he's so distraught though!" Tabitha exclaimed. "Look at him, all freaky eyed and stuff." She ran her hand through his hair, trying to soothe him. He shuddered under her touch but didn't fully recoil away.   
  
Courtney cleared her throat. "So... about dessert?"  
  
"I think I'll have the cherries jubilee," Todd said. Remy nearly sprayed his drink on the others and began alternately coughing, trying to breathe, and laughing.   
  
Rogue patted him on the back, shaking her head. "Ya've got a sick mind, Rem."  
  
Todd looked confused. "What did I say?"  
  
"Don't worry 'bout it, Todd." She looked at Remy who was still trying to get some air to his lungs. Courtney held a giggle in while she scribbled it down.  
  
"What else?" She looked at Lance. He pointed in the menu to the cheesecake chimichangas. "Oooh, great choice. Tabitha?"  
  
"Chocolate brownie pie for me." Her eyes glazed over as she looked at the picture in the menu.  
  
"Ugh, you guys are killing me here," she moaned. "Pietro?" He shook his head. "O-kay, we'll get back to you then... Fred?" As soon as she gave him the word for him to start, she regretted it.  
  
"Well, I'll have what they're having... That toffee thing looks good... the cherry pie-"  
  
There was another burst of laughter from Remy. They all looked at him. "Sorry, sorry."  
  
"-a large sundae... Oh, you know what? Just bring me everything on the menu and I'll be fine."  
  
"You can eat all that?" Courtney sounded amazed.  
  
"I'll force myself." He gave her a smile and she crossed out what she'd had for him before and wrote "entire dessert menu - NOT joking."  
  
"Moving on... Rogue?"   
  
"Umm..." She browsed through the menu quickly. "Ah'm feelin' like chocolate too... how 'bout the triple chocolate cheesecake?"  
  
Courtney smiled. "Great." She looked at Remy and her breath caught in her throat. She slowly remembered how to breathe... and that his girlfriend was watching. "Am I to assume you want something with cherries in it?"  
  
He laughed silently, glancing down at the menu briefly. "Actually, I'm in de mood f'r plain ap'le pie t'night." He smiled at her and handed her his menu. Everyone else passed theirs over as well.   
  
"Sure you don't want anything?" she asked Pietro. He shook his head again. "Alright. I'll get everything out here as quick as I can... but it may be awhile, so thank Fred while I'm gone." She smiled sweetly at him to show she was just joking and left.  
  
"And I'd better check my other tables. There's probably not much to do since it's past the main rush, but oh, well," Lilith added. She passed by Pietro on the way out and touched him lightly on the shoulder. He yelped and was suddenly was five feet away.  
  
"Hmm... maybe they WERE a little hard on him. I'll get him something... soothing since he didn't order a dessert."  
  
"It'd bet'er be more den soot'in'."  
  
"Got it. I'll be back in a few."  
  
"Yay," a miserable Pietro mumbled sarcastically from back in his seat.  
  
"What did they do to you anyway, yo?"  
  
"You actually want me to repeat it?"  
  
"Yeah, or I wouldn't have asked. Duh."  
  
"I don't wanna tell you guys."  
  
"Aww, Speedy, you don't have to if you don't want to." Tabitha wrapped her arm around his shoulders and hugged him to her. He allowed it.   
  
"You know we'd give you crap either way, so spill," Lance laughed. Pietro mumbled something too low to hear.   
  
"What?" Rogue asked.  
  
"They threatened me."  
  
"Dat's it?" Remy snorted.  
  
"Ifyouhadtwohugeguysthreateningtotieyouintoapretzelyou'dbealittlejumpytoo!!!"  
  
"Yeah, I'd be freaked out," Todd admitted. "And those guys were massive as hell."  
  
"See?!" Pietro squeaked. Tabitha hugged him closer.  
  
"Shhh, it's okay..." She even rocked him slightly. Normally he would've backed away, but as it was, he needed the comfort.  
  
Rogue's nose twitched. Remy hadn't held her like that since they'd gotten there. He usually tried to fit anything like that in whenever possible. She squirmed in her seat from her sudden discomfort. Remy wasn't unaware of that little fact, but he didn't say a word or do anything to change it. He was sick of her walking all over him. Besides, he was enjoying torturing Pietro. Revenge was sweet.  
  
"I wonder what kind o' info dose guys have access t'... T'ink dey could track down y're address if dey wanted t'?"  
  
Pietro's skin, which was just beginning to get some color back into it, paled again, even further, until it matched his hair. "You WOULD help them with that just to get back at me," he growled.  
  
"An' jus' what are you implyin' by sayin' I would help dem? Meanin' dat I'm interested in dis sorta shit?"  
  
"You said it, not me."  
  
Remy clenched his fist. He happened to be holding a fork. Not a good thing. "Remy, maybe you should put that down," Rogue stated quietly. It was beginning to glow.  
  
"Quiet f'r once, p'tite. I jus' need a minute."  
  
Rogue opened her mouth, then thought better of it. He was pissed enough without her saying anything else. A silence that you could cut with a knife descended over the table.  
  
"Hi, I'm ba- Woah." Lilith halted at the dangerous atmosphere. "I sense a disturbance in the Force." She set a shot glass of blue colored liquid in front of Pietro.  
  
"What the hell is this?"  
  
"Just drink it."  
  
"How do I know it's not Windex or something?"  
  
"We have a policy against poisoning customers."  
  
"But you don't have one against threatening them?"  
  
"Let's just say I didn't sign that paper when I started working here," she smiled wickedly. She caught a glimmer of the light in Remy's lap. "Can you put the lighter out?" she asked him, unaware just how far off she was from what he'd really been doing.  
  
"Que? Oh, sure." He dropped it under the cover of the tablecloth and a tiny 'boom' shook the table.   
  
Lilith's eyebrows shot up, but she decided to not even ask. Asking was usually a bad idea with these people. "Just don't tell me, okay?"  
  
"Can I have a new fork, si'vous plait?" he asked sheepishly.  
  
'Definitely not asking.' "Oookay. Sure. Whatever you want." As she walked off and they heard her mutter. "I think I'M going to need something 'soothing'."  
  
"She took that well," Tabitha commented to no one in particular.  
  
TBC... 


	25. Just Try It!

Pietro poked at the glass. "I'm still not drinking this." He pushed it over to Fred. "You try it."  
  
"Hey! I'm not gonna die on account of you being scared of her. YOU drink it!"  
  
Pietro bit his lip and then looked at Todd. "Don't even think about it."  
  
"Lance?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Rogue! My invulnerable best friend! I always liked you best!"  
  
She stared at him flatly. "Ya actually think that's gonna work on me?" He nodded despite himself. She sighed. "Fine, give it over. Ah'm just takin' a sip though."  
  
She took a tiny fraction of it and a startled look crossed her face before she coughed slightly.  
  
"Iknewit!Shetriedtopoisonme!"  
  
Rogue shook her head, then spoke, voice raspy. "Just potent. Really potent." Her eyes went wide and she convulsed slightly, then went completely back to normal. "Ooh, damn. Ya gotta try this shit." She swirled the glass in her hand a bit. "Is she allowed to give us this?"   
  
"Probably not. I don't think I should drink it..."  
  
"Aww, c'mon, it'll be fun. Remind me to ask her what this is."  
  
Pietro still looked a bit reluctant.  
  
"Hell, I'LL take it if y' don' want it, homme."  
  
No longer hesitant, he snatched it up, drank it all in one gulp, and blinked. An involuntary shudder shook his frame slightly. "Woah. That was... different. I wonder if that's what absinthe is like." He eyed the glass dubiously. "That's supposed to be green though."  
  
"What's absinthe?"   
  
"Outlawed in America and most European countries, has opium, I can't remember what kind of liquor, and I think a few other ingredients. Some of the famous artistic geniuses drank it... A few of them went insane though, now that I think about it..." he informed them.  
  
"And you know this how?"  
  
"Umm..." He offered them a half smile. "I read a lot?"  
  
"Fine, be a spoil-sport," Tabitha huffed, then smiled before retrieving her arm from over his shoulder.  
  
Lilith came back with Remy's new fork and grinned when she noticed the empty glass. "How did that feel?"  
  
"Verr good," Pietro slurred, messing around.  
  
The waitress laughed. "No more for you!"  
  
"Hey, what is that anyway?" Rogue asked.  
  
"'Sapphire Lightning.'"  
  
"Never heard o' it," Remy said as she handed him the fork.  
  
"A drink ya haven't heard o'? Such a thing exists?" the southern girl teased in a shocked tone.  
  
He didn't smile. "Ap'arently." Everyone present gave a mental wince at his cold tone.  
  
"That's because the only one who knows how to make it is James," Lilith told him, in an attempt to break the sudden tension.  
  
"James?"  
  
"Our bartender. Won't tell me how to make it though. I quote, 'You would use its power for evil.'"  
  
"You probably would," Pietro said under his breath.  
  
"Oh, and after I gave you that nice drink too. I get to know what's in it when he's dead though." They gave her disbelieving looks. "Seriously. He showed me his will."  
  
"Y' get a real interestin' mixture o' people workin' here..."  
  
Lilith snickered. "I can't believe you even said that, considering who you're sitting with."  
  
"Lil, stealing my customers, are you?" Courtney asked, grinning as she arrived at their table. She handed out desserts, stacking some empty plates on one of the trays to help clear up some place. Fred immediately dug into one of his. Lilith took the other tray from her and began to help.  
  
"Just keeping them warm for you."  
  
"What's that?" she questioned glancing at the empty glass in front of Pietro. "Or rather what WAS that?"  
  
"One of James' specialties."  
  
"Oooh... Those have a nice kick don't they?" She looked closely at Lilith. "You had one too, didn't you?"  
  
"A lady doesn't kiss and tell."  
  
"Thought so." She grinned suddenly. "Did you tell them his last name?"  
  
"No. You know how he hates that."  
  
"It's too good not to share though!" The turned to the others, eyes alight with amusment. "It's Bond. James Bond. Like the spy. He's British, and he even has the blue eyes and black hair!"  
  
"You realize if he hears you telling people that he'll cut you off?"  
  
"Shhh!" She held a finger to her lips. "Our secret."  
  
"Aren't y' bot' underage anyway?"  
  
"Gotta love James. 'Bloody stupid American drinking laws. 'Ere you go, luv.'" Lilith grinned. They stared at her.  
  
"Y' REA'LY can't do accents, chere. Y' know dat, right?"  
  
Lilith began to giggle. "But it's so funny! He gets that adorable pinched look and starts swearing at me."  
  
Courtney shook her head and gently patted Lilith on the shoulder. "He really should stop giving her those."  
  
"I only had one!"  
  
"One is more than enough for you, hun. Believe me."  
  
"I should be insulted, shouldn't I?" Pietro cleared his throat. Lilith turned to look at him. "I didn't ask for your opinion."  
  
"Ummm, Lil, why don't we get rid of these plates and check on the rest of the desserts?"  
  
"Okay, sure," Courtney nodded to the others and walked away with Lilith.  
  
"Don't you think it's a bit odd that she's drinking on the job?" Pietro asked.  
  
"A girl like dat? Non."  
  
"Someone sensible please answer me."  
  
Remy huffed, but Rogue spoke up. "Think o' it this way: if she's had a drink she'll be more mellow, an' if she's more mellow she'll be less inclined ta cause ya physical harm."  
  
"This is true."  
  
"Oh, my God, I think this is the best thing I've ever tasted in my life!" Tabitha practically moaned after taking a small bite of the culinary creation in front of her.  
  
"Ya're not gonna go all 'When Harry Met Sally' on us, are ya?" Rogue asked cautiously, watching the other girl.  
  
"Oh, please do," Pietro invited with a wicked grin.  
  
Tabitha ignored him and indulged herself in more of her dessert. She squeaked, keeping a moan in. Before Pietro could say a thing, she held her finger up, a warning scowl crossing her face.   
  
Fred licked his lips, twiddling his fingers together as he decided where to start. His stare shifted among the six plates in front of him, right to left, left to right...  
  
"Geez, just pick one, Blob," Todd said in an exasperated tone, distracted by Fred's choosing practices, while trying enjoy his cherries jubilee. Remy chuckled once again at the dessert Todd had decided on and received glares from both females at the table because of it.  
  
He put his hands up defensively. "Désolé!" He turned his attention back to his apple pie, still smirking.  
  
Rogue ate her first forkful of the chocolate cheesecake. Her eyes widened and then slitted with pleasure. "Mmmm..." The contented, almost purring sound was more suited to a bedroom than a public place. Remy's attention was no longer on the pie in front of him. In fact, it was taking all the control and thieves' training he had to not react visibly. Rogue licked her lips and took another small bite, clearly savoring the taste. Remy's head stayed lowered to the plate, his forked stayed poised so he could take another bite of his delectable apple pie, but his eyes traveled slowly, reluctantly over to Rogue. She was completely oblivious of his gaze, absorbed in her third bite. Another purr sounded from deep in her throat.  
  
'Merde, does she have t' do dat?!' It was taking everything to keep him from jumping her, literally. His free hand slunk underneath the table... reaching over near her thigh... 'Stop dat,' he told himself. 'Dis is 'xactly what Lance was talkin' 'bout. She's just baitin' me...' His hand shook involuntarily from being held at such an awkward position right next to her leg. 'But dat noise... Dieu.'  
  
"Hey, Remy?" She looked at him with those same eyes full of so much passion. 'Mus' turn 'way... Can' fall int' her eyes...' "Do ya wanna try it? Ah couldn't eat this without sharin' it with ya. It's too damn good."   
  
Remy opened his mouth to speak, and she looked at him as if asking for the final "go ahead." He got an idea. "Sure, sounds like y' been enjoyin' it." She smiled slyly and gently fed him a forkful. 'Damn, dis is good...' Once again, he fought to keep his real emotions hidden. "Eh, it's alright," he lied. "Cheesecake's nev'r been my t'ing."  
  
"Oh," she said, bringing back the fork to her plate. Her eyes showed a slight defeat. 'He wasn't s'pose t' act like that...' "How's yoahs, then?"  
  
"Y' want t' try it f'r y'self?" He held his fork out with a bite of apple pie. She leaned in and closed her lips over the golden colored dessert, slowly dragging her teeth over the fork as if to get every last taste. Remy had never wanted to be a piece of flatware so badly in his life. Her tongue reached out to get the bit of filling still on her lips and she swallowed. 'Oh, now dat's just cruel, chere.'  
  
"The cheesecake's better," she said after a moment.  
  
"Mat'er o' opinion," he responded, just before popping another bite in his mouth.  
  
"It definitely is," she whispered huskily before turning back to her cheesecake. Both of the southerners got the feeling they were being watched and simultaneously raised their attention to the hanging mouths of everyone at the table. "What?"  
  
"Oh.my.God," Pietro muttered.  
  
"You said it," Lance whispered. All the boys had similar expressions, and Tabitha winked at Rogue as if to say "good job".  
  
Rogue went back to enjoying her desert, bite by agonizingly slow bite. Remy went back to trying to control his overactive libido. She was NOT helping.  
  
'Come on, homme. Y're mad at her, 'member? Oui. Pissed off. I don' care how damned hot- T'oughts like dat not helpin', LeBeau. Y' want t' be whipped f'r de rest o' yer life? Just- Merde. Dat can't be legal... It's indecent. It's almost obscene. Dieu, I want t'- Non! Dat way lies de pat' t' ruin! Keep calm... If dey keep lookin' at her like dat I'm going t' have t'- Not in a crowded restaurant y' won'... So focus on Rogue... De sounds she be makin'! An' dat look on her face! She has t' be doin' it on purpose! Alright, DON' focus on Rogue. Focus on yer pie. Dat's right. Nice pie. Y' like pie. Pie y' watched Rogue eat... She had her mouth on dis very fork... Dieu, I need a drink...'  
  
Without thinking, he got up and walked over to the bar. Rogue watched him go, thinking she might have gone too far. 'Why isn't he respondin' ta this?! He usually eats this sorta thing up.' She pouted internally.   
  
TBC... 


	26. Drowing Pride and Sorrows at the Bar

Remy saw Lilith at the bar and took a seat. She looked at him quizzically, but then he pointed at the bartender. She nodded mutely, a look of 'of course!' lighting her face up. "James?"   
  
"Yeah, luv?" He turned with a raised eyebrow. Remy saw he was in his mid-twenties and did look remarkably like the spy.  
  
"Give my friend here..." she glanced at Remy for a moment, then turned her attention back to James. "A Coke." Remy's eyebrows knit together, but what he didn't see was Lilith winking to James. No need to let the other customers think they were serving alcohol to the underage.  
  
  
  
Back at the table, Rogue watched Remy out of the corner of her eye. 'He's actually orderin' somethin'?! The nerve of him!' Then she thought for a moment. 'Maybe Ah was actin' a bit- umm, naughty.' "Boys, close yoah mouths. Ya're lettin' flies in."  
  
Todd grinned. "Really?" He glanced around.  
  
"It's an expression," Lance explained, slightly disappointed the show was over.  
  
"Right. I knew that."  
  
Rogue took the last bite of her desert, smiled, and put her fork down demurely. The boys, with slightly dazed looks on their faces, began to eat their own deserts almost mechanically. Then the taste registered.  
  
"Okay, we HAVE to eat here more often, yo," Todd announced.  
  
"Todd," Pietro began slowly in a patronizing tone. "Did you notice anything odd about the menus?"  
  
"Um, they were in French?"  
  
"Besides that."  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"There were no prices listed. What does that tell you?"  
  
A long pause. Then, "Oh."  
  
"Yes. 'Oh.'"   
  
  
  
A few seconds later, James slid a glass in front of Remy. He nodded his thanks and drank it down quick, thinking it was actually soda. He almost coughed it up once the taste settled on his tongue. 'Dieu, bourbon...'  
  
  
  
Todd continued eating his desert slowly, as if to remember each bite. Fred, on the other hand, was just finishing his fifth plate. He had watched Rogue, too, of course, but it didn't stop him from devouring every last bit of pastry on each plate. "This Xavier guy ain't half bad for doin' this for us," he managed to say between bites.  
  
"You guys really aren't missing much by not being there," Lance mumbled. "Right, Tabby?"  
  
"Got that. What we have is more important," she nodded defiantly.  
  
"And what would that be? Overdo water bills?" Todd joked harshly.  
  
Tabitha smiled warmly. "Each other."  
  
"Here comes that Christmas cheer again..." Fred muttered.  
  
"Aww, c'mere, Freddy!" Tabitha leaned over Pietro to give him a hug. Pietro wasn't sure if he should be happy or annoyed to have her draped over him. To make up his mind, she laughed, "Don't get any ideas, Speedy."  
  
Rogue watched them interact and her eyes drifted over to Remy. "Dammit," she said under her breath before getting up and walking blindly over to the bar.  
  
  
  
"So what brings you over here, Remy?" Lilith asked, perched on the bar stool next to him and leaning casually on the bar.  
  
"Ma femme," he answered simply with a sigh.  
  
Lilith mouth formed an 'o' in understanding. "We get guys like you all the time."  
  
"Non, I'm sure y' don'," implying that their relationship was a bit different than other couples.  
  
"Whatever, Cajun," she smiled. "That Coke helping?"  
  
"Oui... how did y' know?"  
  
Her smile grew sly. "Call it a hunch." She peeked over Remy's shoulder and saw the aforementioned 'femme' making her way towards the bar. "I'm going to check on my tables. Cheer up." She rubbed his shoulder briefly before standing up. She passed by Rogue, and gave her conspiratorial smile. Rogue paused in her stride for a moment, looking back at the waitress. She just didn't get her.  
  
  
  
Remy hid his surprise when Rogue slid into the seat Lilith had vacated scant seconds ago.   
  
James finished serving several businessmen on the other side of the bar and came back over. "What'll it be?" he asked Rogue.  
  
She didn't know, or didn't care. "Whatever he's havin' is fine," she requested without even taking notice of what was in Remy's glass. He hid a growing smirk.  
  
"What brings y' over here, chere?" Remy asked nonchalantly, sipping his drink.  
  
"Ah thought- umm, we should talk." She dug her one hand into the barstool nervously, and Remy heard the tiny creaks of breaking wood. She avoided his penetrating gaze.  
  
"'Bout what?"  
  
She looked up at him, eyes glittering with held back tears. 'Merde, she's dis upset?' "Aww, Rem, Ah've been such a bitch, what with all the shit these last couple days and everythin'..."  
  
'She's actually breakin' down? Stay firm... Don' jus' apologize on y' own... Remember, she had a part in dis fight, too...' "Uh-huh..."  
  
She stared at him flatly as James produced her drink. "Don't give me that. Ah know ya've been tired o' me steppin' all ovah ya an' Ah really don't know how ya stand it. If the roles were reversed, Ah'd be mad at ya twenty-four-seven-"  
  
'Y' got dat right.'  
  
"-but the guys over there got me thinkin'... it's the holidays. Ah shouldn't be pullin' this petty crap with you, especially not now. Ah love you, an' Ah shouldn't be makin' ya feel less than me, because you deserve better than that."  
  
He put his hands up. "Chere, chere, chere. Wait, don't be t'inkin' dis is completely on you."  
  
"But Ah feel like it is."  
  
"Y' know it's not. I'm not perfect. I act like I am, but de trut' is I'm not even close."  
  
That gained a harsh laugh from her. "If you're not perfect, Ah don't know what is."  
  
He cupped her face in his hand and gently lifted her head so he could look her in the eyes. "Den we'll jus' have t' find dis so-called 'perfect' t'get'er, won' we?" He lowered his hand back onto his lap.  
  
A very tiny smile brightened her eyes. "Ah'm sorry." A lone tear trickled down her cheek. 'He's got me cryin',' she laughed to herself, 'an' he thinks he's whipped.'  
  
He smiled warmly and trailed his hand over to hers on the bar counter. "Dat's all I wanted t' hear."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oui. An' I'm sorry, too." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Her lips twitched a moment before she got up from her stool and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"Ah missed this."  
  
"It's only been a couple hours since I hugged y'."  
  
"Ah know." She rested her head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around the small of her back, pulling her to him.   
  
The touching reunion was interrupted by a bright flash of light. They jerked apart. "Kodak moment," Lilith informed them, grinning and holding up a disposable camera.  
  
"Ya've got serious issues."  
  
"Phhft. Normality is highly overrated."  
  
Remy grinned. "C'n we have de double o' dat?"  
  
"Certainly." She looked down to rummage through her pocket and produced... mistletoe? "C'mon..." she said in a sing-songy voice, dangling it above their heads. "You know how it goes."  
  
Remy's smile never faltered as he took hold of one of Rogue's hands and raised it to his mouth for a gentle kiss.  
  
"Aww, that's no fun," Lilith whined. She took a picture nonetheless.   
  
"Suits me just fine," Rogue smiled. Remy stood up and offered his arm.   
  
"Shall we?"  
  
"Ah'd be delighted, Mr. LeBeau." She hooked her arm in his. Lilith stood with her arms crossed.  
  
"I'm not impressed, you two."  
  
Rogue cast a wary glance at Remy. "You want yoah kiss? Ah'm not the type of girl that does this-" 'ever' "-but it would be nice ta have a picture..."  
  
Lilith looked at her quizzically, but held the camera up. Rogue gave Remy a quick kiss on the lips, which sent a nice shock through his system. Lilith had snapped the picture in time to catch only the loving expressions on their faces as their lips touched, not the slightly shocked looks a split second afterward.  
  
"That was a bit weird..." the waitress commented.  
  
Remy lowered his lips to Rogue's ear. "What was dat 'bout?"  
  
"Ah can touch people without makin' 'em pass out, but only if Ah make it quick. Ah did it with Kitty befoh... Then again, she still felt woozy afterwards."  
  
"Dat doesn' help me at all," he breathed huskily into her ear, a pout donning his lips.  
  
"Ah'll make up foh it later. That's why Ah don't do the li'l kisses, 'cause it still drains whoever Ah touch, but just not enough. It would add up if ya think about it."  
  
"It'd be wort' it f' you," he grinned.  
  
"This is why Ah didn't tell ya." She smiled, poking his nose. "Now Ah'm gonna have a blast with yoah-self control."   
  
"Oui, y' are," and with that he gave her rear a tiny pat. She yelped for a second, as it was unexpected, but when Lilith turned around again, she shrugged sheepishly.  
  
"And people say I'M strange."  
  
"Because ya are."  
  
Lilith snorted, then noticed a woman at one of her tables waving for her attention. "Ah, duty calls. Well, it can't be all fun and games. At least I didn't get suckered into working tonight when the rush hits." She walked off.  
  
TBC... 


	27. Drinks, Fruits, Desserts and Still More ...

"Look who decided to come back to the table." Tabitha grinned at their arrival. "Get all your probs worked out?"  
  
Rogue smiled and sat down. Remy sat down as well. "Did y' miss us?"  
  
"Not really," Todd admitted. Surprisingly, he didn't receive the slightest scowl from the couple. "But Freddy finished his fruit crepes in record time."  
  
Fred smiled proudly. "I clocked 4.87 seconds," Pietro stated.  
  
Lance looked at Rogue and Remy. "And you guys wonder why I wanted to join." He shook his head.  
  
"Aww, Rocky, you know you were cheering him on. Anyway, I owe you a couple bucks since you said he would get it down in less than five." The southerners glanced at him while he smiled sheepishly.  
  
"I never said I was perfect."  
  
"Ah, a fel'ow gambler. We should play poker t'get'er sometime, homme."  
  
Lance snorted. "With the guy whose code name is 'Gambit'? I think I'll pass."  
  
Remy laughed. "De ot'ers told y' 'bout me, eh?"  
  
"I think it's safe to say I did my own deductive reasoning on that part." He paused for a minute. "And you made Jamie cry once," he mumbled.  
  
Rogue looked at Remy, aghast. "You didn't!"  
  
Remy was just as surprised. "I only played de kid in 'war' back den! It was jus' f'r candy 'cuz it's all he had! He never tol' me he was dat upset t' lose his stash."  
  
"Ya should be ashamed o' yoahself, Swamp Rat! Stealin' candy from li'l kids..."  
  
"I can't believe you made that little sweet boy cry! You meanie!" Tabitha scolded.  
  
The other boys were trying very hard not to show their amusement at the guilt trip the girls were laying in the Cajun as heretofore unknown maternal instincts surfaced.  
  
"Merde, I'll buy him some b'fore we go back, den!"  
  
Lance chuckled. "This was two months ago, ya know."  
  
"Don' matter. I hate bein' called a 'meanie'."  
  
Rogue rubbed his shoulder. "We're jus' messin' with ya, Rem. Ah think it's sweet you're gonna pay him back."  
  
"Yeah, we're sorry," Tabitha cooed. She reached across the table to playfully ruffle his hair. Remy grinned at the other boys from the feminine attention. They rolled their eyes.   
  
Courtney appeared once again, holding two trays of deserts. She set them down with a flourish in front of Fred. "Your desserts, sir."  
  
Fred looked up to her as if he were going to kiss her. "Thank you."  
  
She smiled uneasily. "No problem. Anyone else need anything?" A few expressed that they needed drink refills. "Oh, yeah, and James said you left your drinks at the bar," she told Rogue and Remy, retrieving them from one of Fred's trays. "Here ya go. I'll be back with your last string of desserts, Fred, and your drinks." She winked and sauntered away.  
  
"Ah completely fohgot about this," Rogue said, taking a big sip. Remy's eyes opened in anticipation. 'Oh, merde.'  
  
She coughed at the sudden burn as the liquid slid down her throat. "What the hell is this?!" she sputtered.  
  
"Coke, 'cordin' t' Lilith." Remy shrugged and took a sip of his own with a smirk.  
  
"Since when does Coke translate into bourbon?!"  
  
"Chere, I know f'r a fact dat you like bourbon so jus' be quiet an' drink it. Y' don' want to' get dem in trouble f'r givin' us liquor, do y'?"  
  
"Well, no..."  
  
"I do!" Pietro interrupted.   
  
"Non, y' don'. Not unless you want anot'er 'talk' wit' Hans and Sven."  
  
Pietro paled. "I'm not having any luck with scary men today," he whispered.  
  
"You're not having any luck with men, you say?" Lilith said, her head appearing over one of Pietro's shoulders. He yelped and jumped into Tabitha's lap. Lilith laughed. "I know for a fact that Hans and Sven swing that way, but they're definitely not your type. Hmm... I'll have to check with Bert though."  
  
He glared and climbed off Tabitha, much to her disappointment. "Did we not have this conversation already today?"  
  
"I t'ink we did, homme," Remy replied with a smug smile.   
  
"And it ended with me kicking your ass, right?"  
  
Remy's eyes blazed red behind the glasses. Rogue put her hand on his arm. "Not here, Rem..."  
  
Lilith laid her hand on Pietro's shoulder as well. He shuddered involuntarily. That made her smile. "You and he were fighting? Didn't your mother ever tell you violence never solves anything?"  
  
"ThiscomingfromYOU?!"  
  
"Ah, but we're not talking MY little idiosyncrasies."  
  
"Wait, wait, wait" Todd interrupted. "You mean those guys who look like they probably go out and wrestle packs of rottweilers as a morning warm up exercise... are gay?"  
  
"Yes. Is that so surprising?"  
  
Todd put his hands up. "Never mind. I didn't ask. I'm not going to be the politically incorrect one here."  
  
"Big words from Todd. Oooh," Lance mocked.  
  
Todd shrugged. "I have my moments."  
  
"I think we are all missing a very vital point here," Pietro stated calmly, sitting back down in his own seat.  
  
"Which is?" Tabitha asked.  
  
"IAMNOTGAY!!!!!"  
  
Remy whistled innocently. It was either that or cough "bullshit" into his hand. Pietro growled with such ferocity that Logan would have been proud. Lilith smirked in Remy's direction, who in turn mirrored the expression. Then she looked at Pietro.  
  
"Calm down. If you start shouting things like that, Hans and Sven are sure to come out and see what the commotion is."  
  
"Oh,yes,you'djustLOVEthatwouldn'tyou?" he sneered.  
  
"Of course I would. I'm evil like that." She grinned. "I'm going to check on my other tables. See ya!" She patted him on the head again and strolled away.  
  
"They just seem to come and go, don't they?" Lance asked rhetorically about out about the waitresses. They all nodded in unison.  
  
"Well, I f'r one am hap'y wit' dis fine establishment."  
  
"Ofcourseyoudo.TheyLIKEyou." Pietro was still rather upset.  
  
Rogue for once played along. She twirled a strand of Remy's hair. "He can't help it if he's damned sexy, Pietro. You should know that." Her finger brushed the side of Remy's face.  
  
"She's got a point, homme."  
  
"Oh,I'msorry,weren'tyoutheonewhofreakedoutwhentheredheadwasdroolingoverhimearlier?"  
  
Rogue shrugged. "He knows who he's goin' home ta at night. Ah know that now." Then she scowled. "God, Ah just sounded like one of those trailer trash people on the Springer show."  
  
"Refraining from making actual trailer trash comment..." Lance muttered slyly.   
  
"Too late!" Rogue reached over and hit him upside the head semi-hard. His face landed in the remains of his dessert.  
  
"Well, that was uncalled for." He dipped a napkin in his water and began to wipe his face off.  
  
"And that concludes today's portion of the lunchtime theater," Fred said, mimicking an announcer's tone.  
  
Todd made a sound of disbelief. "I really doubt that."  
  
Fred smiled. "Actually..."  
  
"What?" the other boy asked him, bewildered.  
  
"I think I'm full."  
  
A collective gasp ran around the table. Lance's jaw hit the table.  
  
"Excuse me while I ski in hell," Pietro said, standing up.  
  
Lilith magically appeared again. "Someone is going skiing in my kingdom? What's the occasion?"  
  
Fred blinked at her. "Huh?"  
  
"I'm Queen of Hell," she announced as casually as others would announce that it was sunny outside.  
  
"Wow. I never would have guessed!" Pietro exclaimed in mock surprise. "Oh, and by the way, how have you NOT been committed yet?"  
  
"Well?" she asked the rest of the table, ignoring him.  
  
"Fred's full," Lance told her.  
  
"He's what?" Courtney all but shrieked with her arms full of his last string of desserts. Her face glanced wildly from the trays in her hands to the plates that were only seventy-five percent finished in front of Fred. "Dammit, I told the cook to work overtime for you, Freddy!" She whined.  
  
"Aww, hun, it's okay," Lilith consoled her. "Here," she helped Courtney place the trays on the table and offered her the strawberry cheesecake on one of the plates. "You go take your break, and I'll take care of the extras." Courtney nodded whimpering "hmm-mm" and was ushered away by the brunette.  
  
"Look what you did, Blob!" Tabitha pointed at the retreating waitresses.  
  
"I can't help it! This has never happened to me before!" He looked as if he would cry.  
  
Remy couldn't help but snicker. Rogue looked at him strangely. "Sorry, jus' sounds like an excuse ot'er guys use f'r ot'er t'ings..." he laughed again.  
  
Rogue shook her head. "Like Ah said, sick mind supreme."  
  
He wiggled his eyebrow at her. "Y' never cared before." That made her blush.  
  
Lilith came back and took a plate, plunking down in chair Pietro had vacated. On the plate was a chocolate pie with a chocolate graham cracker crust, chocolate filling with pieces of soft chocolate mixed in, chocolate syrup drizzled over it, chocolate shavings and chocolate chips covering the top. Basically it has as much chocolate as you could fit into a single dessert.  
  
"Excuse me, but that was my SEAT," Pietro told her, irritated.  
  
"Key word: WAS," she responded, not moving.   
  
"Don't you have tables to be waiting on?"  
  
"I took my break." She took a bite of the pie and made a deeply contented noise, her eyes closing for a moment.  
  
"Here we go again, yo," Todd muttered.   
  
She opened her eyes and smiled. "What do you mean?" Pietro, not happy with being ignored, made a move to take her plate and she snapped at his hand, teeth clicking together entirely to close to his flesh for comfort. He snatched the extremity back. "NO ONE touches my chocolate."  
  
"So what're ya'll plannin' ta do with the rest?" Rogue asked Lilith as she nonchalantly took another bite of the pie.  
  
She swallowed the chocolate and smiled. "We're treating James and the boys. Just a quick question though... you don't think this Professor Xavier guy is going to mind that it's still on his tab? Someone needs to pay for it."  
  
"He figured he was gon' be payin' f'r it anyway. Dig in."  
  
She smiled. "Great." She took another bite. After a contented sigh, she froze. "Needs milk... or some sort of beverage... I'll be back." She got up, but not before glaring at Pietro, practically daring him to take a step near her plate. He waited until she was gone and looked speculatively at the desert. He was temped... so very tempted.  
  
"I wouldn' if I were y'..."  
  
"I should lick her fork," Pietro said, contemplatively.  
  
"Seriously, Pietro. Ah don't think ya oughta mess with that chick."  
  
"She did say she was the QUEEN of HELL, yo," Todd mentioned.  
  
"I'll get her back for humiliating me," he mumbled, ignoring their warnings. His hand inched towards her plate.  
  
"It's like watching a train wreck," Tabitha commented. "You want to look away, but you just can't."  
  
They all watched him, no one making a single move. Pietro actually moved in slow motion, or what seemed like it. "Why aren't we doing anything?" Fred asked.  
  
Remy shrugged with a smirk. He was betting himself in his head if whether Pietro would stop or not. "Ten says he goes all the way," he mumbled unconsciously.  
  
"Nah, he'll lose it the last second," Todd said smiling, sliding a crisp ten-dollar bill onto the table without taking his eyes off Pietro. Another disgruntled customer could be heard yelling as he discovered his wallet missing.  
  
His eyes flicked from side to side, and he quickly darted forward and snatched a tiny bite, then all but leapt back to his former position, trying not to look guilty. Todd scowled as Remy smugly took the money.   
  
"You suck, yo."  
  
"If y' can't run wit' de big dogs den stay on de porch."  
  
TBC... 


	28. Be Afraid, Pietro, Be Very Afraid!

Lilith strolled back, with what looked like a cup of coffee in her hand. She set it down on the table and reached for her fork, then paused frowning. "The fork was on the other side..." Her eyes immediately went to Pietro.   
  
His eyes went wide. "What did I do?" he asked innocently.  
  
She pointed at the fork. "This!"  
  
"What makes you think I did it?"  
  
"Because it's you!"  
  
"Now I'm offended." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I was standing over here the whole time, right guys?" Lilith looked to the rest of them, an eyebrow raised.   
  
"Not ac'ordin' t' my new friend Hamilton," Remy chuckled holding up the ten-dollar bill.  
  
"You sellout!" Pietro yelled. Lilith smiled at him. It was not a nice smile, closer to a baring of teeth. He took a step away from her and she turned back to Remy.  
  
"You were betting on his stupidity?"   
  
"Oui."  
  
"What did he do to it?"  
  
"Just took a bite," Lance said.  
  
"Traitors!"  
  
"Any diseases I should know about?"  
  
"Only of the mind..." Tabitha said, grinning.  
  
"I don't have ANY diseases. Period!" Lilith sat down, picked up the fork and went back to her dessert. Pietro frowned uncertainly. "That's it?"  
  
"No, but I can't think of anything bad enough to do to you off the top of my head." Pietro just stood, watching her eat. "That is distracting, you know."  
  
"I want my seat back."  
  
She looked at him, her eyes clouded over with an indescribable emotion. "I've been on my feet since nine o'clock this morning and YOU want your seat BACK? Do you have any idea how hard this job is?"  
  
He smiled wickedly at her. "You want me to take over for you? I'd get the job in 10 times as quick."  
  
She was not amused. "You may be quick on your feet, but you don't have nearly enough patience for these people."  
  
"YOU have patience?!" He doubled over laughing.  
  
"I haven't killed or seriously maimed you yet. I'd say I'm doing pretty well."  
  
"I'm gonna have to give her credit for that one," Lance said.  
  
"Me too," Todd seconded.  
  
"Same here," Rogue and Tabitha said at the same time.  
  
"I have to question whose side you guys are actually on."  
  
"It's outta love," Fred smiled, licking a bit of chocolate from his lip.   
  
"Oh, yes, I can feel all the warm fuzzies," Pietro said sarcastically.  
  
"Ooh!" Lilith sat up straight, a gleam in her eye, and quickly finished off the last of her dessert.  
  
"What?!What?!Whatdoyoumean'ooh'?!"  
  
"You just gave me the idea for your punishment!"  
  
He took a step backwards. "IhavethefeelingIdon'twannaknow."  
  
Lilith cackled, yes, cackled. The rest of the table looked at her strangely. Rogue's eyes met Lilith's and the brunette nodded. 'But how did she know...'  
  
As quickly as she could, Rogue was up from her seat and holding Pietro with his arms locked behind his back. She figured it would be harder to do in his panicked state, but it seemed he was frozen with fear.   
  
She kept her feet planted firmly on the ground as Pietro realized he was screwed, as in flipped over and done up the ass. "Wait,no,youdon'twannadothis!" He began squirming frantically, though it was futile against Rogue's super strength.  
  
"Oh, yes, I do." Lilith grinned, an evil gleam in her eyes. "Now we're going to go find Karen, Pietro. Doesn't that sound like fun!" She sounded almost... gleeful.  
  
Karen?" Todd asked.  
  
Lilith smiled evilly. "Karen." Then she looked past Pietro to Rogue. "If you would mind following me?"  
  
"Not at all." Rogue smiled. She was tired of sitting down anyway.  
  
"C'n I come f'r de torture, too?"  
  
Lilith shrugged. "Sure. Anyone else?"  
  
"Uh... no. We're good," Todd said, taking a sip of his drink in an attempt to hide a smile.  
  
"You'renotgoingtohelpme?!?!"  
  
"Sorry, but we DID warn you," Lance said, not unsympathetically.  
  
"Oh," Lilith paused and half turned as a thought struck her. "Um, would you mind terribly taking the desserts to everyone else?" she asked Tabitha.  
  
"No prob." The blond grinned at her.  
  
"Okay, James up at the bar is gonna want the hazelnut coffee cake with the shaved white chocolate on top, Hans likes the apple strudel with the tons of caramel sauce, Sven likes the chocolate-raspberry truffles, and the rest you can drop off in the employee lounge. Ask one of the boys and they'll tell you where it is if you tell them Lil sent you. Thanks!"  
  
"No!No!Please!I'llbegood,Iswear!"  
  
"Too late."  
  
After all of Pietro's histrionics, Karen turned out to be a blond, rather motherly looking (by the 50's sitcom standard) waitress.  
  
"You're not particularly attached to that fuzzy pink sweater you keep forgetting in the coat room are you?" Lilith asked hopefully. Pietro got a look of dread on his face.  
  
"Well, no..." The woman looked vaguely worried. "You can have it... but..."  
  
Lilith ushered her aside. "It'll be fine, Karen. We really appreciate you letting us use it. Oh, how rude of me," she giggled. "These are my new friends, Pietro, Rogue and Remy. You guys, this is Karen."  
  
"Hi," Pietro said timidly. Both Rogue and Remy smiled brightly and said their versions of hello.  
  
Karen nodded to them in greetings and looked back to Lilith. "You're not planning to do anything to him, are you?" She motioned to Pietro, who was still in Rogue's tight hold.  
  
Lilith's eyes went wide with shock, feigning insult. "Karen, I'm hurt. I thought you had more faith in me than that."  
  
"Right, of course. Well, I guess you can take the sweater." She started to walk away. "Nice to meet you, everyone."  
  
"Likewise," Pietro squeaked, seeing looks of evil return to the eyes of Lilith as the woman turned her back on them.  
  
A small sinister laugh rang out of the brunette's lips. "And now the fun begins."  
  
A gasp was heard behind them all. "Are you plotting Pietro torture without me?" It was Courtney's turn to pretend she was insulted. "Really, Lil, I thought we were a team!" She faked sobbed. Then she got a look at Pietro and how helpless he was and couldn't help but grin. "Now I know why I had a sinking feeling something would happen if I stayed away too long."  
  
"You malign me with your unfounded and cruel accusations! I had every intention of finding you before any entertainment whatsoever was had!" Lilith protested.  
  
"Uh-huh, yep." Courtney smirked and rolled her eyes. Then her eyes glazed over with an evil glint quite similar to Lilith's. "So what's in store for our buddy here?"  
  
"You'll see. We need to visit James real quick though…"  
  
Rogue quirked her eyebrow. "James? What for?"  
  
Lilith began leading them out. "Let's just say that alcohol mixing is not his only specialty."  
  
"Ooh! You evil genius you!"  
  
Lilith grinned and rubbed her hands together. "Ah, but it takes an equally demented mind to comprehend the truly vile workings of my underhanded schemes."  
  
Courtney wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. "Lil... I don't think I've ever been so complimented in my life."  
  
They came to the bar, dragging a very reluctant Pietro. James held up a finger in a "I'll be there in a minute" gesture, set down a margarita, a strawberry daiquiri, and a kiwi wine cooler in front of a trio of giggling college girls, flashed them a dazzling smile, and made his way over the teenagers, mutant and otherwise.  
  
"Always a hit with the ladies," Courtney teased.  
  
"I try."  
  
Lilith leaned on the counter and smiled. "Jaaaames..."  
  
The bartender's eyebrows perked up immediately. "Didn't I give you enough to drink t'day, luv?"   
  
Courtney snickered as Lilith snapped upright with an affronted look. "What makes you think I'm here for that, hmm?" James shrugged. "What we really need from you now is that special 'adhesive' you put together." She said 'adhesive' in a hushed tone so as not to upset Pietro, but alas, he heard anyway.  
  
"Adhesive?!"  
  
Rogue twisted her arms so she could hold him tighter, producing a squeak from him. She placed her chin on his shoulder. "Not as kinky as ya thought it would be in this position."  
  
"Believe me, my mind couldn't be further from thoughts of that."  
  
"Good," Remy huffed. Rogue smirked and then puckered her lips at Remy. He did the same and kissed the air between them.   
  
While Rogue felt a blush rush onto her cheeks, Pietro numbly murmured, "I think I'm gonna be sick."  
  
"Good," Remy repeated.  
  
James frowned at Lilith and Courtney who were both grinning widely. "I know you both too well to be able to give it to you in good conscience. However, if I were to set it on the bar..." He placed a small dropper bottle on the counter. "...and then I turned away to get a drink for someone and it disappeared... then I can hardly be blamed, can I?"  
  
"YOU'RENOTACTUALLYGIVINGITTOTHEM?!?!"  
  
James blinked. "I have no idea what you just said."  
  
"He gets that a lot," Rogue smirked.   
  
Lilith smiled sweetly and pointed out a man who had just sat down at the bar. "I think he's in need of your assistance."  
  
"So he is. You be good, girls."   
  
"Of course, James," the two waitresses said in perfect, sing-songy sync. Pietro shuddered in Rogue's arms as Remy reached up and palmed the bottle.  
  
"We have the glue?" Lilith questioned.  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Good. There's an alley out back where the deliveries come in. It should be deserted. We don't want the screams to upset the rest of the customers."  
  
"And who says you don't have leadership skills?" Courtney snickered.  
  
"Leadershipskills?!" Pietro cried out in disbelief, causing a few people to turn.  
  
"Quiet." Lilith gave him a look that could rival the coldest day of winter. He shrank away from her. Then she started to lead them all out to the alley.  
  
TBC... 


	29. A Bit More Unorthodox Torture and Reluct...

"This would be so much easier if Ah could knock him out," Rogue muttered to Remy.  
  
He tugged at her glove. "If dey don' see, den it didn' happen," he smirked. Gently, he tugged the glove off and she placed her fingers on a small exposed portion of Pietro's arm.  
  
"What?!Youguyscan'tdothat!"  
  
"Watch me," Rogue grinned as he convulsed slightly and passed out.   
  
Courtney glanced back at them and her eyes widened at the unconscious Pietro. "What happened to him?"  
  
Remy shrugged. "Guess he freaked out too much, eh? It happens."  
  
She nodded. "Oh well. Maybe this'll be easier."  
  
"Mah thoughts exactly."  
  
"This should be fine," Lilith pronounced a minute or so later. They were standing in an alley that was cleaner than most but nonetheless dark and seemingly a good place for junkies and homeless people... though none were apparent at the moment. "Who wants the honor?"  
  
Remy vehemently shook his head. "No way in hell I'm goin' near dat."  
  
"Ah think it would be better if Ah didn't," Rogue said, biting her lip. She had slipped her glove back on after she propped Pietro against the wall.  
  
"I think Lil is just waiting for us to all decline so she can do it." She grinned at the gothic girl. "Aren't you?"  
  
"Oh, yes. I'm just so excited," she said, deadpan and rolled her eyes. She walked up to white-haired boy, eyed him clinically, and managed to pull his shirt over his head by letting the majority of his weight stay leaned against the wall. "I have to admit though, he's a lot less annoying when he's unconscious."  
  
"Ah've noticed that in the past," Rogue mentioned with a smirk. She had a bit of Pietro's thoughts going through his head, and to say the least, it was quite amusing.  
  
"Well, I guess it's now or never." Lilith sighed loudly and extended her hand to Remy.   
  
As he handed over the bottle, he asked, "Now what is in dis stuff exactly?"  
  
Courtney giggled. "Now, Remy. Lil couldn't tell you what was in the Sapphire Lightning, what makes this any different?"  
  
"You don' know eit'er, do y'?"  
  
She dropped her head. "No."  
  
"Alright, I'm gonna need a little help with this part. Someone has to hold him upright so I can get his back and arms too," Lilith said as she carefully applied small amounts of the glue at intervals on his chest. "It will be harder for him to get off that way." She smirked, then her face turning serious, added, "Be careful NOT to touch the glue. It will come off... but only after about five hours soaking in olive oil."  
  
"Hold his arms up," Courtney said, readying the nice, fluffy pink sweater that Pietro would be adorning for quite awhile. Rogue did assist in this and helped Courtney slide the sweater on. She grinned as it fit perfectly over his slim body.  
  
"Dat is a real good color on him," Remy commented, rubbing his chin.  
  
"He should be wakin' up soon, too." Pietro's thoughts were distant in her mind now, a clear indication that he would be conscious again. "Should we get him inside?"  
  
Lilith nodded. Rogue took the liberty of lugging him again while Lilith led the group back inside. "Y' know, chere," Remy chuckled from next to Rogue. "Dis is de second time in twenty four hours y' cross dressed a guy."  
  
"It's quickly becomin' a habit foh me, Ah guess." She batted her eyes at him. "You should be worried now, ya know."  
  
"If dere is anyone dat would look sexier in y' clothes dan you, it'd be me."   
  
Rogue's face wrinkled up in attempt to keep herself from laughing. "Funny how Ah knew you would say that exactly."  
  
Lilith, having overheard their conversation, raised an eyebrow and shot a glance at the couple trailing behind her, then looked at Courtney. "I think we may have finally found a group of people weirder than us."  
  
"And to think I thought nothing could surprise me anymore."  
  
Pietro groggily woke up in her arms, not really assessing the situation yet. "Ungh... What the hell did you do that for, Rogue?"   
  
"It was foh yoah own good, trust me."  
  
"You knocked him out? I thought you said he passed out?" Courtney asked, her eyebrows quirked.  
  
Rogue ignored the specific question and quickly replied "Ah know this special trick. It's really effective when it comes ta annoyin' li'l shits like mah buddy here."  
  
Courtney opened her mouth to say something, but then decided against it. "Okay, then."  
  
Pietro unwittingly provided a distraction as he let out a piercing shriek at the sight of his new wardrobe. Everyone winced.  
  
"Ow..." Lilith muttered, putting a hand against the ear that was closest to the horrified boy.  
  
Rogue hit him upside the head. "Screamin'll get ya nowhere."  
  
"I'm still trying to decide who's more of a sadist; you or her," Pietro said surprisingly slow as he pointed at Lilith. "Nowwhatthehellisthisthingdoingonme!?"  
  
"Your punishment?" Courtney rolled her eyes. "Big giant duh. Lilith can be very creative if she wants." Lilith grinned at the compliment.  
  
"No matter," Pietro said, pulling himself out of Rogue's grasp. He tried tugging it off, but seeing as how it was futile, he looked at the others with wide eyes for an explanation. Remy's body racked with laughter as he tried to contain himself. "Whatthehellnow?!"  
  
"Bet'er get used t' de color pink, homme," Remy advised. Pietro began frantically pulling at the sweater.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. It'll take skin with it," Lilith told him. "Maybe if you're really nice to me I'll tell you how to get the glue off..." She grinned and nodded toward the others. "Or you can ask them... Maybe if you begged..."  
  
He glared at her with hate in his usual clear blue eyes. "You will suffer for this," he said painstakingly slow through gritted teeth.  
  
"Hush, now," she waved him off and began leading them again. Pietro walked on his own, face set in a semi-permanent scowl with his arms crossed over his chest.   
  
He looked back at Rogue, the scowl still present, but there was a hint of 'how could you do this?'  
  
Rogue shook her head, unsympathetic. "Pietro, Pietro, Pietro... When will ya learn that ya just shouldn't mess with us? Women have a capacity foh vengeance that is far greater than anythin' yoah gender can conceive of. Ah would advise ya ta take yoah punishment like a man and let it go... If not..." She shrugged. "Well, then it's yoah funeral..."  
  
He could only stare at her after a statement like that. He was betrayed. He mustered as much hurt into his eyes as he could, knowing outright that Rogue would melt at some point. Key words being 'some point.'  
  
Lilith led them all back to the table, where Fred was sitting with Lance, Tabitha and Todd gone completely. "She's still taking the desserts around," Fred explained.  
  
"Where's Todd?" Rogue asked.  
  
"Damned if we know," Lance sighed. "If we're really lucky we won't find out... ever. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss..."  
  
As if on cue, Tabitha and Todd strolled back to the table, goofy grins on their faces. "Lemme tell ya," Tabitha giggled. "That James guy kicks ass."  
  
Todd kind of wavered before sitting down in his seat. "I have to second that, yo." Then he hiccupped.  
  
"Merde... he gave y' drinks, didn' he?"  
  
Tabitha twirled a blonde strand vacantly. "I don't know whatcha mean, hot stuff. I mean, I asked him to get me something good, and he was really happy that we brought him dessert... so Todd got something, too." She looked at him. "What did you get?"  
  
He shrugged, laughing. "Like I know. It was damn good though. I hope he enjoyed his tip."  
  
Courtney glanced around. "That's why I hear some more yelling..."   
  
"Oookay, I think that's our exit cue," Lance muttered.  
  
"Suuure, leave us to deal with the chaos you people seem to leave in your wake..." Courtney said, rolling her eyes, then grinned to show she was kidding.  
  
Remy grinned angelically. "Who us?"  
  
The mutants all stood (or swayed in the case of Todd and Tabitha) to leave.  
  
"Oh, wait!" Lilith tugged on Lance's arm and he leaned down slightly so she could whisper something in his ear. He shot a glance at Pietro, smirked, and nodded.  
  
"Got it."  
  
Courtney pulled the check out of her apron. "I just need someone to sign this so we can bill that Xavier guy."  
  
Rogue looked at Remy, automatically nominating him for the signature. "Y' don' feel comfortable wit' signin', chere?" He whispered.  
  
"'Rogue' is gonna look pretty strange if ya ask me. Jus' do it, Swamp Rat." He smirked and signed the paper, sad that he was leaving the restaurant. It really was fun.  
  
Courtney looked tearful herself. "Well, this ends my Christmas fun," she sniffled. Todd wobbled up to her and threw himself on her in the form of a hug. She tried her best not to let her nose wrinkle at his body odor.  
  
"I'm gonna miss ya! An' you, too!" He giggled, looking at Lilith. She smiled and ruffled his hair, instantly regretting it. As he continued to hang on Courtney, Lilith wiped her hand inconspicuously on her apron. When she was certain it was clean, she looked up to them all, although now she was face-to-face with Pietro.  
  
"I can't say that I'm disappointed I'm leaving," he said, uncharacteristically slow... and dark.  
  
"I would tell you I'm sorry but that would be a lie," she gave him a sugary sweet smile. "I can't say it's flattering to be asked out on a dare."  
  
His mouth dropped open. "How did you...?"  
  
"A lucky guess. I think it had something to do with the terrified look on your face when you were trying to work up the nerve to go through with it... Now what were you about to say?"  
  
"Nothing," he muttered, deflating slightly and even feeling a twinge of guilt. He frowned at that. He didn't WANT to feel guilty. He wanted his anger and plans of revenge back. The frown turned to a pout.  
  
"Sorry? Didn't quite catch that."  
  
"I said nothin'. See ya around." Then he stomped ahead of everyone else.  
  
"Whoa..." Tabitha said in astonishment. "How did you do that? You just completely made him do a 180 with... nothing!"  
  
"Some girls got it, some girls don't."  
  
"... You're not going to tell me are you?"  
  
"Nope." Lilith flashed her a smile. Then there was the sound of shattering glass followed by an irate male voice bellowing in French. Lilith and Courtney winced.  
  
"Uh-oh. Pierre's in one of his moods again."  
  
Lilith tilted her head to the side, listening. "And he's using some of the few words I know in French... That's never a good sign..."  
  
Courtney pulled out a quarter. "I'll flip you for it. Winner gets 'farewell duties,' loser gets to talk him down."  
  
"Normally I wouldn't really care..." She glanced to the mutants still standing there. "But these guys have been so great."  
  
"Call it in the air," Courtney said, readying her 'flipping thumb'. Lilith nodded and Courtney flicked it up.  
  
"Tails."  
  
The coin dropped on the ground. Everyone leaned down to see who would be leaving them prematurely to go deal with the furious chef.  
  
"I win." Courney grinned.  
  
"Dammit. Why do I get to handle all the temperamental ones?"  
  
"Because you put the 'mental' in temperamental."  
  
"Cute. Real cute." Lilith turned to the mutants. "I hate to cut this short, but duty calls..." she sighed.   
  
Since Pietro had already gone outside, everyone left was sad to see Lilith leave. "Ah've never seen Pietro scared of anyone like he was of you," Rogue commented.   
  
"Yeah, an' for that, we'll never let him forget about you," Todd grinned.  
  
Lilith smiled. "You guys are great. Come back next Christmas and maybe I'll have had the patience to keep this godforsaken job and still be here."  
  
"I wouldn't count on that," Courtney giggled quietly.  
  
Lilith narrowed her eyes at her. "Ah, but if I don't then you'll have to deal with the insane ones all by yourself."  
  
"You're not THAT cruel."  
  
Lilith smirked. "No?" She looked to the mutants again. "Alright, I better go. Bye, everyone."  
  
There was a chorus of 'bye's and 'see ya's and she walked away. Courtney turned to the others and pasted a fake, overly bright smile on her face. "Goodbye. We hope you've enjoyed your meal at La Rose Cristal. Please come again soon." The group looked at her like she'd just grown two heads. She dropped the overly perky tone and the plastic smile. "We're required to say that."  
  
A collective 'ahh' of realization came over the group. "Well don't just stand there," Courtney laughed. She opened her arms. "I want hugs!" Tabitha and Todd gladly obliged, the alcohol in their systems just about finished controlling them. Lance and Fred took their turns as well. Then it came to Rogue and Remy. Courtney looked to Rogue. "Hey... I hope there's no hard feelings about earlier..."  
  
Rogue glanced to Remy and then back to the waitress. "Don't mention it," she smiled lightly. "Ah, um, don't hug though."  
  
Courtney smirked back. "Fair enough."  
  
"I do, dough." Remy laughed as he pulled Courtney into a big hug. Courtney just about melted with joy, but kept her face as neutral as possible. No need for the couple to be fighting again over his impulses.  
  
After Remy let her go, Courtney sighed. "Wow, this really is goodbye. I think I should just walk away and not keep prolonging this 'cause it'll just get harder."  
  
Rogue surprisingly didn't look mad. "Ah'll tell Pietro you said goodbye."  
  
"An' I'll give him a hug for you!" Todd suggested happily.  
  
"Thanks," the waitress laughed. "See ya," she waved as she walked away.  
  
TBC... 


	30. The Consequences of OffKey Singing

"Well, we didn't destroy the place... I suppose that's progress..." Lance said as they made their way back to the limo. Todd began singing, just little off key. "Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling," he sang, his voice ever so slightly slurred. "From glen to glen, and down the mountain side..."  
  
Tabby came up next to him and looped an arm around his shoulders, joining in. "'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide. But come ye back when summer's in the meadow..."  
  
Lance sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Then again maybe not..."  
  
"Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow," Tabitha and Todd continued loudly. 'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow."  
  
"Are either of them even Irish?" Fred asked rhetorically.  
  
"Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so." Tabitha was a little off key and slurred herself.  
  
"Okay," Rogue said, a bit irritated with the singing. "Who is up for puttin' these two out for the ride home?" The three sober Brotherhood boys and Remy raised their hands.  
  
"Won't that be a little dangerous though? Absorbing them?" Fred asked.  
  
She shrugged. "It's either that or cause bodily harm. An' Ah really don't wanna explain any bruises or bumps."  
  
The maitre de gave Todd and Tabitha a dirty look as they passed by, still singing. Remy smiled and flipped him off.  
  
Rogue pulled off both her gloves as they reached the door. Remy caught her wrists... "I wouldn' do dat if I were you, chere."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, first o' all, I don' t'ink y' wan' dat song stuck in y' head de rest o' de day, and anyway, dere's no guarantee that YOU won' start singing it."  
  
"That's a price Ah'm willin' ta pay." Her hand struggled against Remy's.  
  
"I'd listen to him," Pietro said, leaning against the wall outside. "It would just sound even more fucked up to hear that song with a southern accent."  
  
"Fine. Ah give anyone permission ta knock me out if Ah start singin'." Tabitha and Todd started another verse, even louder than before. "PLEASE, jus' let me take 'em out." Her hands fought against Remy's, but she still had them lingering just so close to Todd's face.  
  
"Chere, we CAN'T knock y' out, remember?"  
  
She screamed at an ear-piercing decibel. A few New Yorkers on the street turned to stare. "God damn invulnerability! Ah knew Ah'd hate it eventually." She pulled free of Remy and stood directly in front of Tabitha and Todd. She slapped them across the face. "Shut.the.hell.up!" Then she stomped off to the limo.  
  
Remy blinked. Pietro's mouth hung open. Tabitha raised her hand to her swelling cheek. "Ow..." Todd managed to say quietly.  
  
All of the Brotherhood looked at Remy. "Quoi?"  
  
"I think I speak for all of us... there's no way I'm going in there first," Lance said, pointing shakily at the open limo door.  
  
"You're her boyfriend! You go!" Pietro was quick to volunteer Remy.  
  
"No way!"  
  
"Do the words 'sacrificial goat' mean anything to you?" Lance asked him, nodding to Fred. The larger boy grabbed Remy by the back of his trench and tossed him in.  
  
"Ow!" Remy cried out as he smoothed down his clothes, throwing a glare out the door. Then, feeling the piercing eyes of Rogue boring into him, he looked up and smiled sheepishly. "Hey, chere. How y' feelin'?"  
  
She only glowered at him harder.  
  
'Not a good sign...' he thought to himself. "What's wrong?"  
  
Her nose wrinkled up. "Ah slapped them with mah bare hand. The song's in mah fuckin' head anyway."  
  
"I see... usually I'd ask y' t' drink an' make it better, but I'm not feelin' it t'day, are y'?"  
  
"Not in the least," she replied simply. She glanced towards the door. "Any reason why they haven't come in yet?"  
  
"Scared of y', as always."  
  
Her lips curled into the faintest of smirks. "Gotcha." She leaned back more in her seat. "C'mere." He looked at her quizzically as he climbed towards the back of the limo. "Ah figure we can let them freeze a li'l bit. Are you up foh fake sex or foh me kickin' yoah ass?"  
  
"Y' have t' ask?" he grinned.  
  
The others outside were watching for any signs of life inside the limo.   
  
"Think she killed him?" Fred wondered aloud.  
  
"Nah," Lance replied, eyes not leaving the limo. "She likes him to much. Besides, no one else would put up with her." There were a series of clicks as the limo's locks all engaged at once. "Then again, I could be wrong..."  
  
Tabitha blinked and stopped singing. "Somehow I don't think that's good..." The limo began to rock back and forth. "And I was right."  
  
"What are they DOING?" Todd had also stopped singing to join the discussion.  
  
A faint "Ooohhh... Remy..." drifted out of the van.  
  
"Oh.My.God." Peitro's eyes were nearly bugging out of his skull. "Theycan'tpossiblybedoingwhatIthinkthey'redoing.Nonono.Theycan'tbe.It'snothumanlypossible!"  
  
"They aren't human, yo."  
  
"Shutup!"  
  
"I am curious though..." Tabitha murmured, leaning towards the car.  
  
"Eww, yo!" Todd said, his nose wrinkled in disgust. "You're peepin'!"  
  
"No, I'm not! I wanna know how they're doing it with her powers, duh."  
  
"Still," Lance said with his arms across his chest, equally disturbed by Tabitha's actions. "You don't peep. This is freakin' Rogue! She's like a sister to us!"  
  
"I only lived with her for how long? Get off it, will ya?"  
  
Suddenly, the rocking stopped. A squeak could be heard, and a sound that could only be described as a muffled moan. A bit more rocking occurred as the door opened, Remy's head popping out. His hair was beyond disheveled.   
  
"Hey, guys. I got her t' calm down. It's safe t' come in now."  
  
"I'm thinking 'safe' is relative," Lance eyed the limo dubiously.  
  
"Well, as long as she's calm," Todd hopped toward the sleek black vehicle.  
  
"I have two words for you, Toad: bodily fluids," Tabitha told him.  
  
"Eek!" He hopped backwards at a speed they didn't even know he was capable of.  
  
"Did someone press rewind?"  
  
"No, Freddy," Lance sighed and grabbed the hastily retreating mutant by the back of his shirt.  
  
"You can't make me go in there!" Todd cried as he attempted to scramble away from Lance.   
  
Pietro peeked up front. "Hey, seems like the driver's M.I.A. Let's say we pile up here?"  
  
Fred pouted. "What about me?"  
  
Pietro shrugged. "Take one for the team, buddy."  
  
"You know, it isn't my fault that this happened to be my mutation," he ranted as Pietro and Tabitha crawled up front. Lance threw Todd in there in hopes it would make him shut up as he was still rambling on about stickiness. It did as soon as he collided with Tabitha.  
  
Remy's head was still lingering at the door. "Fred, c'mere for a sec."  
  
Awkwardly, Fred stepped over to him. "What?"  
  
"Jus' get in de car. Y' know as well as I do dat me an' Rogue didn' do anyt'in'."  
  
"I do?"  
  
Remy patiently held in a sigh. These guys were so gullible, especially Fred with his limited intelligence. "Oui, y' do." He put a finger up to his lips. "Our li'l secret, hein?" Fred nodded dumbly and followed Remy into the limo.  
  
Up in the front, Tabitha leaned close to Pietro who tried to lean away, except there was no room. "I have something to tell you. It's a secret."  
  
Pietro eyed her as one would eye a venomous snake curled up on one's bed. "Alright..." She whispered something the others, even crammed in close together as they were, couldn't quite catch. "OHGODTHEIMAGES!!!MAKETHEMSTOP!!!OHTHEMUTANTITY!!!"  
  
"He said titty." Toad began to giggle... and didn't stop.  
  
Lance looked skyward. "Why me, God? What did I do that was so wrong? No one deserves this."  
  
In the back, Fred chuckled. He could hear Pietro ranting and raving and Todd's incessant giggles even through the supposedly soundproof glass. "Those dumb bastards," he laughed.  
  
"See," Rogue smiled, sipping a soda she acquired from the mini-bar. "Isn't this much better? Ah mean, we're not tryin' ta turn you against them, but they did shove ya back here with us."  
  
"There's that. Then there's the fact that I can pound the crap out of all of them without even breaking a sweat."  
  
Rogue grinned. "Ah love havin' that fear factor against them. It works so damn well." She side glanced towards Remy. "Doesn't it?"  
  
He nodded, gulping. "More effective den y' t'ink, chere."  
  
"Oh, Ah know precisely how effective it is," she said, her smile turning saccharine sweet.   
  
"Yeah... I just got really uncomfortable in here," Fred muttered, looking towards the glass. Todd was still giggling.  
  
TBC... 


	31. Bondage and the Ride Home

"Dammit, is anyone going to drive?" Tabitha complained.  
  
Pietro stopped dead, ranting forgotten for the moment. "I wi-"  
  
"NO!" Lance hollered. "Screw waiting for the driver. Move." Rogue, Remy and Fred laughed quietly as they heard a series of "Ow!"s and "Watch it!"s as Lance climbed over the other three Brotherhood members.  
  
"That," Tabitha started, blinking hazily, "was unnecessary, Rocky. You stepped on Pietro's head!"  
  
"Oops," he apologized sarcastically.  
  
"Owwie." Pietro was ignored. "I SAID I have an OWWIE!!"  
  
"No one cares," Lance told him as he started the limo.  
  
"Do you even know how to drive this?" Tabitha asked him, frowning with the effort it took to think coherently.  
  
"How hard can it be?"  
  
"I HAVE AN OWWIE!!! IT'S PROBABLY A CONCUSSION!! I NEED HELP HERE, PEOPLE!!!"  
  
"Yes, you do..." Lance muttered.  
  
"God..." Todd mumbled, holding his head in pain. "Someone shut him up, please!"  
  
Silently, the tinted glass slid down and Fred's bulky arm loomed out from the back seat. "Keep it down, Pietro. I'm not afraid to use this."  
  
"And Ah," Rogue said, her dainty, pale hand coming into view, "am not afraid ta use this. Zip it."  
  
Pietro growled. "You people always act so violently. All I want is some damn medical attention!!"  
  
Todd had taken to searching his tiny space for any sort of first aid kit. Successfully finding one under his seat, he opened it up and pulled out medical gauze and aspirin. Then he proceeded to throw them at Pietro. "There! I think you can take care of the rest."  
  
"I get what the aspirin's for, what's with the bandaging stuff?"  
  
"To gag you with if you don't shuttup!!"  
  
Pietro took to mumbling sullenly under his breath at a speed too fast for any of them to decipher.  
  
"Aww... and here I was looking forward to a mummified Pietro!" Tabitha giggled.  
  
Meanwhile, Lance was having the time of his life driving down the busy New York streets. "People really need to learn to how drive," he mumbled.  
  
"Don' y' t'ink it's de ot'er way around?" Remy chuckled.  
  
"I'm sorry, my name isn't Pietro or Tabitha, Gambit."  
  
Remy continued to laugh. "Touche." A angered "Hey!" came from both of the aforementioned mutants.  
  
Todd waved the bandage tape. "Shh."  
  
"Wouldn't duct tape work better?" Rogue called from the back.  
  
"Do you HAVE any duct tape?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"Well, then..."  
  
"Come on, you can't tell me this thing doesn't have duct tape stored in some secret compartment. Hell, it has everythin' else."  
  
"You got a point, yo." He reached over with his tongue and opened the glove compartment. "Ooh. A laptop."  
  
"Ewww... Toad," Tabitha moaned.  
  
"See?"  
  
He waved the bandage tape so she could see. "Quiet."  
  
"That threat won't work with me, Toad."  
  
He hung his head. "I know... it was worth a try though."  
  
"... No, it wasn't."  
  
"Lemme have some sort of piece of mind that it did, okay?"  
  
"Whatever melts yoah butter."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Todd eyes were glittering with an unholy mixture of delight and curiosity as he went back to examining his find. "And it has an Internet connection. You know what THAT means, don't you, boys and girls? PORN!!!" This declaration was followed by gleeful, if demented, laughter.  
  
"And this is why we don't have a computer at home," Tabitha groaned, shaking her head in her hands.  
  
"I thought we couldn't afford one," Fred said, confused.  
  
"That too, but I think it was mainly because of Frog Boy over here," Lance answered for Tabitha.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Oh, let's face it. All the guys at the house would be drooling over it," Tabitha sighed.  
  
"Like you don't get your urges too," Pietro countered.  
  
Tabitha's cheeks turned bright pink. "I don't know what you're talking about." Pietro grinned and whispered in her ear. "Shut up now!" She grabbed the medical tape from Todd and shoved it in Pietro's mouth. Every looked at her strangely and she offered them a giddy smile. "You know him."  
  
"Ooookay..." Lance muttered. "I'm not going to ask what that was about because unlike some others in this limo I actually value my sanity..."  
  
Remy snorted from the back seat and Rogue smacked him lightly. "Now, be nice. Let the boy have his delusions."  
  
"Oh, man, there's this chick who looks like Tabby on here!"  
  
"Give me that!"  
  
"No way!"  
  
Out of morbid curiosity, Rogue peeked over the window to catch a glimpse. "Oh mah gawd..." Her nose wrinkled up. "Ah will not drink, Ah will not drink."  
  
Remy took his turn. "Damn..." he breathed. "Dat does look like y', p'tite." If Rogue didn't feel so sick she would have slapped him.  
  
"Shuttup!" With one hand, Tabitha hit the button for the window to shut and with the other she reached across Todd to turn off the monitor. "No more!"  
  
"Why so defensive? It wasn't like it was actually you... was it?" Lance asked warily.  
  
"Of course it wasn't! It's just embarrassing!" Pietro was laughing hysterically through his gag. She pointed an ominous finger at him, but he just kept on snickering.  
  
"I wonder..." Remy mused. "Toad, lemme see that?" Toad handed the laptop over.   
  
Rogue watched her boyfriend with suspicion in her eyes, especially when he tilted the monitor away so she couldn't see. "What are ya doin', Swamp Rat?"  
  
"Y'll find out in a minute," he told her with a grin.  
  
"That's what Ah'm afraid of."  
  
"You and everyone else," Fred muttered under his breath.  
  
Remy snickered as he pulled himself into a corner of the limo and started tapping away furiously. A couple taps of the 'enter' key were heard and with each tap of that key a small bark of laughter escaped from the Cajun.  
  
"Ah won't ask again," Rogue said sternly, her curiosity apparent in her voice.  
  
"Anot'er minute or so..." he snickered again. His laughter was almost beginning to have a maniacal edge to it.  
  
Tabitha looked to Rogue. "What could he be doing?" she whispered.  
  
Rogue shrugged. "Ah'm scared... his sense of humor is even more sick an' twisted than mine."  
  
"Such cruelty from one so beautiful..."  
  
"Now Ah KNOW he's up to something."  
  
"All I wanted was ONE normal day... That's all I wanted... One normal day free from perverted Cajuns, psychotic females, hyperactive nutcases, odoriferous kleptos, and bottomless pits..." Lance moaned.  
  
"Hey, you're not exactly normal here, yo!" A pause, then, "And who are are calling odori- ordor-" Todd frowned as he tried to say the word.  
  
"Odoriferous. It was on his 'Word of the Day' calendar," Pietro supplied having ripped off the duct tape when no one was looking. "It means 'Having or giving off an odor.' It can be either good or bad. I think Lance meant it as bad though."  
  
Tabitha looked at him and blinked inquisitively. "What?" he asked innocently.  
  
"Who gave you permission to talk?!?!"  
  
"... I did?"  
  
"Wrong answer, bucko." Tabitha lunged at him, her hand ready with more medical tape.  
  
"Yeah, you just love this position, don't you?" Pietro laughed.  
  
"Oh, my God, I hate you so much right now!" She shoved the medical tape at his face again, not caring if she hurt him in the least.  
  
"Hey!" Todd grabbed her flailing body off of Pietro.  
  
"Would you guys quit it?" Lance hollered. "I am trying to drive here if you hadn't noticed!"  
  
Fred blinked out the windows. "Whoa... we're movin' and I didn't even realize it."  
  
"How could that be: something happening without Fred's knowledge." Lance muttered flatly.  
  
"Ah! Got it!" Remy cheered triumphantly.  
  
"Do Ah even want ta see?"  
  
"Doubt it," he responded promptly with a grin.  
  
"Give me that!" She reached for the laptop.  
  
He held it out of her reach. "What's the magic word, chere?"  
  
"Hand it over NOW before Ah break yoah face!"  
  
"But that's nine words."  
  
"Technically it's eight words and a vowel," Fred corrected him. Everyone who was in a position to do so stared at him. "What?"   
  
Rogue turned back to Remy. "You ARE aware that you need yoah spine in order to feel sensation in yoah lower body?" He handed her the laptop instantly and without a word. "Thank you." She opened it up, took one look at the monitor and shrieked. "Remy! You perv!" She smacked him with a laptop. "How the HELL did ya find a picture o' me lahke THAT?!"  
  
Remy held his hands over his head in defense. "Not you! Remarkable resemblance though, non? O' course I had to edit in the white streaks..." Rogue gave him the evil eye.  
  
"I wanna see!" That from Pietro again.  
  
"OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!" Rogue and Remy yelled at him in unison.  
  
"Tabby?" Lance sighed tiredly.  
  
"On it!" This time, Tabitha found the strength to whip Pietro over her body and flop him onto Todd's lap. Todd's strong legs wrapped around Pietro's waist, pinning his arms to his body.  
  
"Does this not look wrong to anyone else?!" Pietro yelped.  
  
"Quiet!" Tabitha ripped a long piece of the medical tape off and all but smacked it onto Pietro's lips. Muffled obscenities could be heard underneath, but they were disregarded. Another piece and Pietro's eyes were covered as well.  
  
"Ya know... now this looks wrong," Todd noted. "He's all bondagey..." Once that sick realization came to Todd his legs instantly retreated from Pietro's body. "I feel so... dirty."  
  
"He's cleaner than you are. If anyone should feel dirty it should be him. But, yes, that did look wrong," Lance said from the driver's seat.  
  
Tabitha eyed the wriggling Pietro who was one again trying to escape. "Hmm... I think somebody needs more tape..."  
  
"MMMPH!!" The white-haired boy frantically shook his head back and forth.  
  
Tabitha laughed manically. "How does it feel?" She extended another piece of the tape from the roll with a sickening sticking sound. Pietro made a sound she never thought she'd hear from him. A whimper?  
  
"Shit..." Todd whispered in awe. "He's scared of you, yo."  
  
Pietro shook his head furiously at the accusation, but kept his arms still.   
  
"Any ideas where to stash him after this?" Lance asked with a smile.  
  
"De trunk?" Remy suggested with a grin.  
  
"Who are we? The mob?" Rogue asked sarcastically.  
  
"I was actually thinking more along the lines of a dark, poorly ventilated room with Fred and a can of baked beans, but if you have some sort of connection that you haven't enlightened us all with yet, Remy, then be my guest," Lance smiled as he switched lanes on the highway.  
  
At hearing that, Pietro screamed against his gag.   
  
Todd listened for a moment. "'No... anything but that...'" he translated with a giggle.  
  
Rogue grinned. "Pietro torture is just so much fun!"  
  
"But all good things must come to an end... We're here," Lance announced as he pulled up in front of the mansion.  
  
"Are you serious?" Tabitha whined. "Just when things were getting interesting." She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.  
  
"Well," Rogue started as she climbed out of the limo. "Today was definitely an adventure." She was clutching the cursed laptop to her chest.  
  
"Yeah," Todd hopped out of the front seat first. "Full stomachs, met two really cute waitresses-" Pietro hmphed at that as Tabitha pushed him out of the seat. "Got to visit some really good porn sites. Yeah, this has been the best Christmas ever!" His eyes glazed over with joy.  
  
"Christmas and porn in the same sentence. That's something I never thought I'd hear..." Fred said from the back seat.  
  
"Bye," Rogue waved.  
  
"Bye," everyone is the limo called back. "Merry Christmas!"  
  
"You too."  
  
The limo took off with a screech of tires and the smell of burnt rubber.  
  
TBC... 


	32. The Hunt For the Illusive Angel Begins

"Oh, no. They're back already."  
  
"It's been several hours. Count your blessings, Logan. At least it's only the two of them now."  
  
"Count your own blessings. I'm taking off. I figure a few nice relaxing fights at biker bar and I might be back to normal. If not, then there's always alcohol and LOTS of it."  
  
Xavier rolled his eyes but quickly concealed his look when the two young southerners walked in. "How was lunch?"  
  
Rogue smiled. "Good," she responded simply, holding the laptop behind her.  
  
"Jus' peachy, sir," Remy added.  
  
"... Good to hear." ~Are they hiding something, Logan?~  
  
~I don't care. I'm out of here.~  
  
~Thanks for the help. Perhaps your apathetic mood will be altered after you get back.~  
  
~Doubt it. The only stuff that gets me trashed isn't legal in this country. You're not going to see me again till January... if then.~  
  
Xavier blinked, but let Logan leave. Rogue and Remy quickly said goodbye to him. Logan mumbled something that they decided to disregard.  
  
"Um... Thanks foh lunch Professor. We're gonna go upstairs now, maybe watch tv..."  
  
"You can watch it down here." There was no room for argument in his tone.   
  
Rogue and Remy glanced at each other both thinking the same thing. 'Dammit.'  
  
They wandered into the rec and flopped on the couch. Rogue grabbed the remote control and turned on the TV. "It's a Wonderful Life" was on. Rogue made a face and changed the channel only to see "Miracle on 34th Street." She continued to change the channel, finding nothing but sappy Christmas programs. The news station was the least sickening thing on. Both Remy and Rogue sat up straight when the news anchor began talking about an "angel" who several people claimed had saved their lives.  
  
"Professor!" Rogue called out urgently. "Get in here quick! Ya have ta see this!"  
  
Xavier hurriedly rolled in, surprised by her tone of voice. "What is it?"  
  
"It's the angel people have been talkin' about," she explained, pointing at the TV.  
  
"Dere's been anot'er instance of it savin' someone else."  
  
"Interesting. This is the third occurrence this week," Xavier said, his eyes fixed on the TV. Soon the report on the angel sighting was over and another story came on, however, it was obvious the three mutants were intrigued by the idea of an "angel". The mutants at the institute had speculated he/she/it was a mutant, but details were sketchy at best. And, there was always the idea that the people who claimed to see it were just whack jobs.   
  
Rogue crossed her arms over her chest. "While it's excitin' ta think that it might be true... there's no proof yet. No pictures, nothing. Just talk."  
  
"Yeah... y' have one person say dat dere's an angel who saved her from a burnin' buildin' an' den everyone feeds off dat for who knows how long."   
  
"You're both right, but we can't ignore the possibility that this person is, in fact, a mutant," The professor said seriously. "While it may be against my better judgment, sending you two out in the city alone, I feel it would be wise to try and find out more and perhaps offer him or her asylum."  
  
The two teens practically lit up at the thought of getting out of the mansion and into town, alone and unsupervised. "If ya put it that way, Ah guess we could go out an' try ta make some sort of contact. What harm could we do?"  
  
'With those two... anything,' the professor thought to himself quickly before verbally responding: "That is precisely the way I'm looking at it. So you two agree to go out?"  
  
It took all Remy willpower's not to appear visibly excited. "Why not?" he answered coolly instead.  
  
"Do ya want us to leave raht away?" Rogue asked, a bit too eagerly.  
  
"Yes, why don't you do that? Oh, and take your communicators with you so you can keep me informed of any new developments." 'Thank goodness. At least they'll be out of my hair for the day... figuratively speaking of course.'  
  
"Sure, professor!" Rogue said rising quickly to her feet. Her eyes slid slyly to Remy. "Last one to the garage rides on back!" she yelled before streaking out the doors.  
  
"Hey, no fair, y' cheated!" Remy yelled back, hot on her heels. Xavier rolled his eyes before finding the remote and clicking off the TV.  
  
Rogue easily beat Remy to the garage thanks to her flying powers. She was leaning against his bike when he made it to the garage about five seconds after her, grinning broadly. "Looks like Ah won."  
  
"Don' give me dat merde. I know how much y' love t' hold on t' my back an' feel my muscles ripplin' underneat' m'coat..."  
  
"That was befoh Ah started ridin' these things with Logan," she smirked. His face fell into an incredibly irresistible pout. It was the one look she couldn't help but melt at. "Fine..." She stepped aside and allowed him to take hold on the handlebars in order to walk it out. "Ah get ta ride it back though."  
  
"Deal."  
  
In a matter of minutes, they were leaving the mansion once again, but not in the luxury of a limo, nor with the company of anyone but each other. Rogue smiled, thinking that was what she'd wanted all morning but had really only achieved it then. Her hold on Remy's back became tighter in the form of a hug before relaxing again. She loved the feel of the wind ripping around her, almost as if she was flying.  
  
Suddenly there bikes all around them, four custom jobs with riders in punk/goth clothes, each as unique at the machines beneath them. The blond in the colorful, highly embroidered jacket grinned and swerved unnervingly close to the bike the two mutants rode. Remy cursed and jerked the bike slightly to the right, nearly crashing into the black-haired rider with the Native American looks and the elaborate necklace who was equally close on the other side. The bikers let out joyful yells, and laughed as they continued to harass the red-haired couple, weaving skillfully in and out and around the bike, keeping them surrounded.  
  
"Dat's it! I've had enough o' dis!" Remy growled under his breath. A hand left the handlebars just long enough to retrieve two cards from his coat and toss them on either sides of his bike. The small explosions caused the bikes flanking them to peel away but the riders seemed unconcerned, laughing as they sped past the couple, came together again and turned off down a side street.  
  
Rogue leaned forward to put her mouth next to Remy's ear. "Hey, did they look familar ta you, too?" she asked, raising her voice over the roar of the bike.  
  
He considered. "Now dat you mention it, dey sorta did, chere..."  
  
She blinked a few times and then decided to forget about it. Remy tried to do the same thing, although he had the feeling it wouldn't be the last time he would see those familiar faces again.  
  
After driving for many uneventful miles, Rogue and Remy reached the inner city. "Hey, chere," Remy called back as they hit the inevitable traffic. "Let's say we forget about dis angel an' hit de clubs?"  
  
She smirked, but hit his helmet nonetheless. "Ya know we have ta do this. Xavier won't let us out on things like this again if we don't come back with somethin'."  
  
"So... we do some 'investigatin' an' den hit the clubs?"  
  
"O' course."  
  
"I love de way y' t'ink."  
  
Hours of questioning later they had turned up nothing, not so much as a feather. The witnesses, though willing to talk (some TOO willing) hadn't been able to give a clear, or even consistent description.  
  
"Dis a useless. I say we get some coffee an' beignets to warm up an' figure out where to go from dere."  
  
"That place we passed a couple streets ago? 'The Big Drip?'"  
  
"Oui. It looked cozy."  
  
"Sure," Rogue smiled. Remy turned right at the light to make their way back to the small café. "Ah'm actually kinda mad that we haven't found any leads on this angel."  
  
"Why? De sooner we c'n say dat we don' have any evidence he exists, de sooner we c'n get partyin'."  
  
"The rumor had ta start somewhere. Ah wanna know where an' why."  
  
"An' since have y' had dis Nancy Drew streak in y'?" he teased, pulling the motorcycle into a parking spot.  
  
She climbed off the back and pulled off her helmet. "Ah dunno. Ah'm gettin' curious Ah guess."  
  
"T'ought y' didn' believe is dis merde?" he countered once he had his own helmet off. His shook his hair gloriously. Rogue knew he did it just to excite her nerves, but at the moment, it barely affected her.  
  
"Ah said Ah don't know. It'd just be fun ta actually find something concrete, ya know? Ta be able ta say that we found the angel an' it isn't a bunch of shit."   
  
Remy took her hand and led her into the café. It wasn't until they were sitting down that he responded. "Is dere some ulterior t'ing y' not tellin' me about?"  
  
"'Course not. Can ya blame me foh wantin' somethin' supernatural ta happen?"  
  
He stared at her blandly. "Chere... we be mutants..." he began.  
  
"Ah know that, Swamp Rat!" she laughed. "Ya know what Ah mean."  
  
He squeezed her hand from across the booth. "I do, cherie."  
  
"Hello. What can I get for you two, today?" A mocha-skinned waitress with long black hair in cornrows and brightly colored beads at the ends stood next to their booth, snapping her gum and completely ruining the serious mood.  
  
"Two coffee an' two beignets, si'vous plait."  
  
The waitress scribbled it down. "Okay, coming right up. GREAT accent, by the way."  
  
As the waitress walked away, Remy grinned at Rogue. "Now, see, I know how t' keep it in m' pants. I don' need t' flirt wit' ev'ry waitress we meet t'day."  
  
Rogue glared at him at first but then her face softened. "Ah guess Ah'll play it ta Courtney's hair bein' the same color as mine," she joked.  
  
"If dat's what y' wan' believe, chere..." he muttered with a smirk.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"'M kiddin'!" He gave her puppy eyes and when her harsh demeanor didn't fade, he quickly reached across the table for her hand and kissed the palm. She let out a tiny burst of laughter.  
  
"Ah know. Jus' be quiet foh once an' don' say everythin' that comes ta mind."  
  
"I NEVER say everyt'in' dat comes t' mind. After all... lit'le cabbages have big ears..." He grinned at her.  
  
She glanced sideways at some of the other café customers, including a few younger kids drinking milkshakes. "Ah take it back. Ah'm scared o' the day when ya actually do say everythin' that comes ta that mind of yoah's. An' Ah hate it when ya use sayin's that yoah Tante Mattie used ta say. Makes ya sound old ta boot."  
  
"I like t' t'ink of it as wise and experienced," he stated proudly with his ever-present smirk.  
  
"An' here it comes..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ah'm waitin' foh ya ta go on and on regarding yoah lifelong experiences about everythin' like ya always do," she snickered back.  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"Do so!"  
  
"Non!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"NON!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NON!!!"  
  
"YES!!!"  
  
"Ahem." The waitress was back with their order. She set the plates and the cups down in front of them. "Here you go. Try to keep it down, k?" She half turned to go then added, "Oh, and for the record... she's right. Women usually are."  
  
Rogue grinned triumphantly and stuck out her tongue. "Told ya so." She immediately went to her coffee, signaling the end of their mini quarrel. Remy sighed in defeat and started to munch on his beignet. "So," Rogue began once she had placed her cup back down on the table. "Do ya just wanna hit the clubs after this? Ah mean... Ah'm disappointed that we didn't find anythin', but then what else could we do?"  
  
"Well... y' COULD take t' de skies an' look f'r him dere... I t'ink dat might be a lil conspicuous dough."  
  
Rogue looked as if she was weighing the options in her head for a moment. "Eh, screw it. Ah wouldn't even know where ta start lookin'. Let's just go dancin'." She smiled.  
  
"Dat's what I wanted t' hear."  
  
Remy tossed a handful of money on the table and stood. Rogue, after mentally calculating the tip he'd left, glared at him and added a several bills before joining him.  
  
"Ya know," she started to say as he pulled on his helmet, "ya could've paid more attention ta the tip."  
  
Remy purposely revved up the engine at that precise moment. "What was dat, cherie?"  
  
She sighed hopelessly. "Forget it." She climbed onto the back of the bike. "Let's go," she urged, tapping his helmet.  
  
The bike shot forward, forcing her to hang on or fall off. She rolled her eyes at the display of immaturity and leaned her head against his shoulder, watching the scenery flash past.  
  
TBC... 


	33. And Behind Door Number Three

Slowing to a stop at the club, they discovered there were absolutely no parking spaces left, much to Remy's annoyance. They had to leave the bike at a parking structure about a block away and walk back.  
  
"We coulda just gone to a different club, ya know."  
  
"Yeah, but dis one's de best..."  
  
"Which is why the parking lot there was filled," Rogue laughed. "So now you have to leave your baby where it could be stolen or vandalized."  
  
Remy stopped dead. He turned back to the bike, took off a small part, and pocketed it. "Now, let's see dem try to steal it."  
  
"Ya gonna cover it in plastic wrap to protect it from scratches too?"  
  
"It would be nice if dis bike lasted a bit longer dan t'ree days, if y' ask me," he added haughtily before walking ahead.   
  
She laughed and caught up to him. "It's so cute when ya appreciate things the professor gives you," she whispered as she slipped her gloved hand into his.  
  
"It's a nice bike. He went all out on dat one."  
  
"Pro'bly asked Logan foh advice."  
  
"Wouldn' be surprised. Dat man knows his motorcycles..." Remy was about to say more but a single white snowflake flew across his vision. Then two, and three, and soon a gentle snowfall had begun. Remy glanced back fleetingly to his poor, uncovered motorcycle, but Rogue pulled on his hand.  
  
"Ain't this romantic? Walkin' through New York City at Christmas time... in the snow..." she sighed happily.  
  
"Y' not usually dis... fluffy, chere." Remy's eyebrows knit with skepticism, but a smirk still played at the corners of his lips.  
  
"You complainin', Swamp Rat?"  
  
"...What's de answer dat will get me in de least amount o' trouble?"  
  
She seemed to think about it for a split second. "Umm... just don't say anythin' as Ah do this." She proceeded to twirl around in the snow, almost like living out a scene in a movie. She tilted her head upwards to the falling snow, with her arms out at her side. She giggled slightly as she stopped. "Ah've always wanted ta do that."  
  
"I can' say how corny y' jus' looked?"  
  
"Ah think ya jus' did."  
  
"Did not."  
  
She put her hand up. "We're NOT doin' that again. We're startin' ta sound like the Brotherhood."  
  
"How 'bout y' do it again an' I'll tell y' how beautiful an' free y' look."  
  
She grinned. "A lil complimentin' never hurt anyone Ah guess."  
  
"Not in my experience."  
  
Rogue's lips twitched. "Ah'm sayin' nothin'. This is me sayin' nothin'."  
  
Remy made a face at her. She laughed and tilted her head back again. Then her expression turned urgent. "Remy! Quick! Look!" She pointed eagerly at the sky and Remy followed her vision.  
  
"Mon Dieu..."  
  
"It's him!" And it was, for lack of better terms. It wasn't a bird, nor a plane, though one could say the former. It definitely wasn't Superman either. It was the angel. It flapped its mighty wings and soared toward the building they were standing in front of. And it was landing... in one of the windows? Rogue glanced at the sign above the doorway. "Worthington Tower?"  
  
Remy snatched up her hand and immediately pulled her inside the building, completely disregarding the doorman's greeting. "Dat's our man."  
  
"Any idea what floor the room he flew in is on?"  
  
"It looked near de top. Can't tell much more dan dat."  
  
"K. Let's start about two thirds of the way to the top an' work our way up then." She started toward the elevator. Remy grabbed her shoulder to stop her and she turned toward him with questioning eyes.  
  
"I t'ink y're neglectin' one t'ing."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"How we gonna know it's him?"  
  
Rogue blinked, clearly not having thought that part through. "Um... Go door to door and ask whoever answer if they have wings?"  
  
"Is the word subtle even in your vocabulary?"  
  
She grinned and it so eerily appeared... Remy-like. "'Course it isn't, silly. C'mon, there's a lot of floors ta go to and people ta visit." Once again, she was ahead of him and waiting at the elevator impatiently. He shook his head, smirking to himself, and then jogged to catch up to her.  
  
  
  
Three floors and approximately forty annoyed occupants later, Rogue and Remy had become very bored and frustrated. "Nice plan, chere."  
  
"Quiet, Cajun. It ain't like Ah'm havin' a blast doin' this either."  
  
"It was funny de first few times, dough. I liked pretendin' I was from room service an' all dat fun stuff."  
  
"I think ya started pissin' 'em off when ya started samplin' the expensive mini-bars."  
  
"Hey, if dey can afford t' stay here, dey can afford t' restock deir alcohol."  
  
"How many drinks have ya had today alone?"  
  
"Do I really have t' count?" He grinned impishly and knocked on the door in front of them. "Do we have a game plan f'r dis one?"  
  
"Yes, try ta not get security called on us."  
  
A red-headed woman answered the door with the chain in place. "Hello?" She looked wary.  
  
"Hi. We're doing a survey," Rogue said politely, trying to look harmless.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Posture. It will only take a moment of your time. All you have to do is stand sideways to us for a moment."  
  
The woman looked at them for a moment, then sighed and unlatched the chain. "Fine." She stood sideways to them, and then turned back with a raised eyebrow. "Satisfied?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am," Remy responded promptly with a grin.  
  
Rogue smacked him up side the head before flashing a bright, but entirely fake smile to the woman. "Thanks."  
  
The woman went back inside her apartment and shut the door without another word.  
  
"Well, dat plan sucked."  
  
"Fine, you think of a better one!"  
  
"I will!" Remy stomped ahead to the next door, immediately knocking on it. Rogue stood with her hands on her hips, waiting for his strategy. "Y' know, y' don' look dat friendly when y' stand like dat."  
  
"When ya tell me what you're plannin', Ah'll consider how Ah'm standin'."  
  
"Maybe I jus' wan' wing dis one an' see what happens."  
  
"Nice pun, Lance."  
  
"Ohhhh, y' did not jus' say dat."  
  
She smirked evilly. "Oh, but you're the one that punned."  
  
"Not purposely, chere!"  
  
"Wing it? C'mon!" She almost doubled over in laughter.  
  
"Would y' keep it down? Y' gon' scare de person in de apartment."   
  
Rogue looked to the door. "Don't ya think they would've answered already?"  
  
"Maybe dey-" He was cut off as the door was opened... by a man with shoulder-length blond hair, in his twenties, wearing a colorful patchwork silk robe in shades of red, orange, and purple, open over frilly pink underwear and a bra. There was kinky music playing in the background and smoke drifted out.  
  
Remy, for once, was speechless.  
  
The man was not. "Hello." He gave Remy a once-over (obviously liking what he saw), smiled and licked his lips. "Would you like to come in?"  
  
"Uh... I t'ink I got de wrong apartment," he stammered.  
  
The man sighed, looking disappointed. "Oh. Too bad." He checked Remy out one last time and shut the door.  
  
Rogue began giggling hysterically. "Was that yoah great plan, oh brilliant one?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Still smirking, she "zipped" her lips. "Now what?"  
  
"Dere's always de blatant approach."  
  
"So apparently we haven't been blunt enough? Now THAT's a surprise."  
  
"Chere, I'm tired. I dunno 'bout y', but I wan' outta dis, right now. I say if de next door ain' de 'angel', we ditch dis place. Deal?"  
  
Rogue thought about it for a moment and realized how tired and bored she really was. "Deal."  
  
"Might as well check de penthouse den. Doesn' matter if we get kicked out after dat anyway."  
  
Ten minutes later they were standing in front of the doors to the penthouse suite. Rogue grinned at him. "Want me to knock this time?"  
  
Remy shuddered at the memory of the person who'd answered the last door he'd knocked on. "Please."  
  
Rogue knocked. There was no answer. After a minute she knocked again. Finally a tall blond man answered the door barefoot, and wearing black pants and an unbuttoned white dress shirt with a black duster over both.  
  
"Are you the angel of New York?" Rogue asked without preamble.  
  
Instead of any of the responses they were expecting (ie: "Are you insane?" or "I'm calling security."), the man stumbled back, looking shocked and defensive. "Who are you people?!"  
  
TBC... 


	34. Just Your Usual XMen Recruitment Process

The two teenagers exchanged glances. "Relax, homme, we just wanna talk," Remy said, using his charm powers to try and smooth the situation over a bit.  
  
"Talk?" The man said suspiciously, as if he suspected "talk" was just a euphemism for something far less pleasant like "torture."  
  
"Oui, talk." Remy nodded.  
  
"Can we come in?"  
  
The blond looked as if he was debating whether or not to slam the door in their faces. Finally he stepped aside.  
  
"Thanks," Rogue said for herself and Remy as they walked past him into the penthouse. Remy whistled through his teeth as his eyes glazed over. The sheer amount of expensive items in the penthouse was enough to have him planning out possible heists. Rogue elbowed him. He looked at her with puppy eyes, but she simply shook her head and mouthed "no". He pouted, nodding that she was right, but the thought remained in his mind purely for entertainment purposes. He liked to think of it as a hobby.  
  
The man shut the door behind them, but, skeptically, didn't move away from it. "So... what did you want to talk about?"  
  
Remy sat himself down and patted the seat next to him for Rogue. She sat and looked to the blond man. "We're not gonna bite ya. Jus' come sit."  
  
The man looked even further estranged with her terminology. "Good job, chere," Remy whispered to her, then added, in a normal tone to the other man, "How 'bout we start dis out wit' introductions?"  
  
The "angel" seemed to weigh the safety of that option in his head before nodding. "That sounds good."  
  
Remy smiled. "I be Remy LeBeau. Dis is Rogue."  
  
"Rogue...?" He asked, expecting a last name.  
  
"Yep," she grinned. "Jus' Rogue. You?"  
  
"Warren Worthington III."  
  
"Nice name." Rogue smiled at him.  
  
"Thank you." The man looked a little more relaxed and sat down. There was an awkward silence.  
  
"Okay, this is goin' ta sound really intrusive considerin' we just met but..." Rogue paused and bit her lip, looking hesitant but a bit hopeful at the same time. "Um... can Ah see your wings?"  
  
"What?" The man looked briefly startled and then sighed. "I suppose so... since you already know anyway." He shrugged, and stood, shedding first the duster then the shirt. Barechested, he spread his wings to their full 16-foot wingspan.   
  
Rogue had a look of pure awe and amazement on her face. "Wow... They're beautiful."  
  
Warren smiled slightly. "It's not that often I get to show them off like this. People are usually freaked out."  
  
Remy, on the other hand, was a bit less than impressed. He did NOT like the look on Rogue's face, and liked Warren's tone of voice even LESS. 'Maybe y' jus' bein' possessive, homme...'  
  
'Non, y' not. Dat guy be flirtin' wit' dat innocent act. Knock him out, LeBeau!'  
  
'Don' be crazy... it be jus' a friendly conversation.'  
  
"Stop," Remy muttered aloud to the quarreling voices.   
  
Rogue looked over to him. "Ya okay?"  
  
He huffed, being more biased towards the devil on his shoulder instead of the "angel". Besides, he was arguing over an angel, so why should he agree with his shoulder one, right? That would just be contradictory! "Don' worry 'bout it," he said, deciding to just watch how she acted from that moment on.  
  
"Well, that's sorta what we're here about. We live at a school for mutants. Ah know you're older than us so ya wouldn't need ta go ta school... but if ya wanted to just go somewhere where ya wouldn't be judged just 'cause you're different..." she trailed off.  
  
"Havin' trouble formin' words, dere, cherie?" Remy absently remarked, making eye contact with neither her nor Warren.  
  
"This is only a li'l bit awkward foh the BOTH of us, if ya hadn't noticed, Remy."  
  
"I ain' de one wit' pink cheeks."  
  
She turned to glare at him. "An' what was THAT supposed ta mean?"  
  
"Y're a smart girl. Figure it out."  
  
The tension level in the room shot up, the atmosphere becoming almost oppressive, like the air just before a storm. "Umm..." Warren added, dumbfounded, unsure of how to respond to the southerners' conversation.  
  
"Somet'in' dat needs addin', Bird Boy?" Remy all but barked at him.  
  
"Hey, wait just a minute there-"  
  
"Remy, don't ya think you're bein' jus' a bit outta line?"  
  
"A bit outta line?! Chere, y' been droolin' all over him since de second we walked in here." He turned to Warren. "An' y' jus' had t' take off y' shirt too, didn' y' homme? M'sieu Playboy, I see." In his head, the devil was chanting him on while he held down the squirming angel. It felt so good to Remy.   
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?! Ah'm in love with ya and ya KNOW it! What else do you fuckin' WANT from me?! No one can touch me! Ya wanna lock me up so no one can look at me either?! Ya own me mind, body, and soul! If that's not enough for you then Ah don't know what is..." The last part was whispered, and full of hurt, her anger spent.  
  
Warren glanced back and forth between the two of them. 'Yeah... as if I wasn't uncomfortable before...' His eyes averted to the shirt at his feet. Should he even bother to put it back on or even reach for it? He was pretty sure this French guy could knock him out good, and the damage was already done...  
  
He reached down to scoop it off the floor, sure to make no sudden movements. Luckily for him, neither Rogue nor Remy saw him pick it up and begin slipping it back on. At the moment he was of no consequence to them.  
  
"Chere... Merde." He had to look away from her. The intensity of her eyes made him think of how his own flared up when he was emotional. "It's jus' dat sometimes..."  
  
"Sometimes what, Rem?" The question was without anger, but it didn't sound forgiving either.  
  
"I jus' don' know. It's not as if I doubt us... but y' can' help but t'ink what happens if someone else better dan us comes along f'r each ot'er. We're both stubborn, envy stricken li'l shits sometimes, y' know?"  
  
The faintest smile flashed across her face at his terminology, but faded immediately. He still caught it though. "Yeah... we are." She paused for a moment. "Ah can't imagine anyone better than you though," Rogue's voice was soft but sincere.  
  
Warren shifted uncomfortably, feeling almost like a voyeur. Both of them seemed to have forgotten he was there, forgotten anything existed except them, for that matter.  
  
A small smirk played at Remy's lips. "Are y' as turned on as I am right now?"  
  
"Oh shuttup!" She laughed, smacking him playfully, but a bit hard across the shoulder.   
  
He rubbed his shoulder, glancing briefly over to Warren and then back to her. "But I know y' are, chere..."  
  
She glared at him. "Don't test me, Swamp Rat."  
  
"But it's so fun to!"  
  
"You're horrible."   
  
At this point, Warren had somehow gotten his shirt back on, and wasn't oblivious to the banter he was observing. He cleared his throat, which surprisingly got Rogue and Remy's attention. "Can I offer you two a drink and we can actually discuss why you were looking for me?"  
  
Remy grinned. "Now y' talkin'."  
  
"Water? Orange Juice? Coke?"  
  
Remy sighed disappointedly. "Coke's fine."  
  
Rogue bit her lip to hide a grin. "Juice for me, please," she said sounding like she was trying not to laugh.  
  
Remy glared at her half-heartedly.   
  
Warren frowned, glancing back and forth between the two. "Did I miss something?"  
  
Rogue smiled pleasantly. "Of course not. Anyway, where were we before we got distracted?"  
  
Warren blinked and sipped his white Russian that had been sitting there since before they'd shown up. "You were talking about your school?" Remy watched the glass with envy, while drinking his simple coke. It was as if he could discern the vodka, kaluha and cream swirling around in the tall glass.   
  
Rogue patted him on the leg, gaining his attention. "No," she mouthed, shaking her head at the same time. Turning back to Warren, she began talking about how the school was run, kind of dressing it up for the sake of bringing him back. If they pulled this off, imagine what Xavier would let them do.  
  
Suddenly there was a humming sound, low almost out of the range of human hearing and the doors swung open. None other than the Master of Magnetism floated in.  
  
Warren raised his eyebrows. "Is there anyone who doesn't know I'm a mutant?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
Instantly, Remy and Rogue were on their feet, positioning themselves between Warren and Magneto. "What do ya want?" Rogue asked, eyes glaring.  
  
"For Mr. Worthington to join me," he stated calmly, eyes glowing beneath his helmet.  
  
"I t'ink it's safe t' say he's not interested."  
  
Magneto's eyes narrowed even more on Warren. "Is this true?"  
  
"Umm... I'm not sure. You're coming off a bit too ominous for my tastes..." He sipped his drink again, having the distinct feeling he would need the calming effect of the alcohol before the night was through.  
  
For a moment it looked as if Magneto was going to snap his fingers. "Fine. But this is not over!" He rose off the ground, crackling with magnetic energy. As he left they could have sworn they heard him mutter, "I can find better followers elsewhere!"  
  
They three were silent for a moment. "Okay, dat was weird."  
  
"Tell me about it," Warren sighed. He hooked a thumb in the direction of the doors. "Do you guys know him well?"  
  
"He WAS dead foh awhile, Ah think... but apparently not. It's so hard ta keep up with things like that."  
  
"It's so hard t' keep people like dat dead dough, cherie."  
  
"It'd be a lot easier if it wasn't."  
  
Warren just blinked. "Umm... yeah. Anyway-"  
  
"Raht, our school!" Rogue sipped her drink and glanced towards the door, expecting some sort of distraction to come up yet again. When none came, she started the spiel about the school and all that fun mutant rights stuff that the professor urged them to spoon-feed any potential recruits.  
  
Warren raised an eyebrow. "You two sure this isn't a cult?"  
  
Remy and Rogue looked at him expressionlessly and responded together in monotone. "We follow the Bald One."  
  
It was comical how much Warren's eyes widened. It took everything Rogue had not to burst out laughing. Remy kept his poker face up, of course. "I, umm, think you should leave..."  
  
It was then Rogue giggled hysterically. "We're jus' messin'. It ain't a cult or a religious group of any sort. It's jus' a place t' belong."  
  
Warren shook his head looking vaguely disturbed but gave them a small, wry smile after a moment. "I'll think about it."  
  
"K." Rogue fished in her pockets and came up with a business card. It had Xavier Institute along with the address and phone number printed in black calligraphy. She handed it to Warren.  
  
"Now if y'll excuse us we got clubs t' hit."  
  
"Wait... that's it?"  
  
Remy stood up and helped Rogue up as well. "What did y' t'ink we were gon' do? Hang out here all night until y' said oui? We're not like dat, homme."  
  
"Yeah. It's not an obligatory thing... either yes or no whenever ya come ta a decision." They started towards the door. "We'll be waitin' foh an answer, but if not, have a nice life."  
  
"Wait, don't leave yet." He got up as well. Rogue and Remy stared at him, appalled. Warren blushed and looked at his feet. "I... I'm tired of being alone... especially it being Christmas and all..."   
  
The two looked at him and then each other with raised eyebrows. After putting their heads together and conferring in whispers for a few moments they straightened.  
  
"Ya're welcome ta come with us if ya want, unless ya got a better idea o' how ta kill some time."  
  
TBC... 


End file.
